Incumbent Democrat Catherine Cortez-Masto held on to her Senate seat, NBC News projects, giving Democrats control of the Senate for the next two years with a possible addition of one more seat after the Georgia runoff. Cortez-Masto took 61% of the latest Clark County vote dump of mail ballots, taking a lead of approximately 5,000 votes over Republican former Attorney General Adam Laxative. With remaining ballots expected to favor Democrats, Laxalt will not be able to make up the gap. In related news, the Democratic nominee for Nevada Secretary of State, Francisco Aguilar, won, knocking off MAGA scumbag Republican Jim Marchant.
Non-Correction: The current version of this article misspelled Adam Laxalt’s last name as “Laxative.” National Zero does not regret the error and will not be correcting it.