Amid an interminable ramble over the phone to Fox and Friends on Tuesday morning, convicted felon President Trump slipped in a pretty big if true attempt to turn things around for his party: “We made a deal months ago that we’re stopping, and at there they’re fine with it… we won’t be paying any more Israel… We’ve already agreed that by the end of this year we won’t be paying Israel. Now, we’ll help Israel if they need it,” said Trump during his final pitch to Fox News viewers.

“It is my Great Honor to endorse Dr Brian Schmutzler, a MAGA Warrior and REAL Republican running to represent the wonderful people of Indiana’s 11th State Senate District! A Proven Leader, Brian serves his Community as a Highly Respected Anesthesiologist and Medical Director. His opponent, Gabrianna Gratzol, is a Radical Left Democrat who is opposed to NO TAX ON TIPS, NO TAX ON OVERTIME, and NO TAX ON SOCIAL SECURITY and, if she and the Dumocrats ever got in, all of these things will be terminated. She wants massive Tax Increases, Open Borders, Men playing in Women’s Sports, and Transgender Mutilization of your Children. Gabrianna Gratzol is Reckless, Radical, and Dangerous!” and blah blah blah, posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday amid hundreds of ceaseless appeals to his own fanbase to vote for these assholes.

The Schmutzler fellow just stuck out for very obvious reasons. Lol, where the fuck did this guy’s surname come from if it wasn’t a piece of scrap paper found in Mel Brook’s wastebasket? “Nah, ‘Schmutzler’ is too obvious for a Catskills time-share owner who sells it and changes his surname to ‘Scott’ so he can switch to Saratoga Springs. Think I’ll go with ‘Dorfman’ instead for that yutz.”

Oy vey. Friggin “Schmutzler” might be legitimately the funniest surname of a Republican on the ballot anywhere in the US on this election day, even with “Jeff Crank” on it in Colorado, lol.

Democrats could learn wrong message from a blowout victory https://t.co/JX990OzwQU

— Axios (@axios) November 3, 2026

The US Supreme Court on Monday took several hours to decide they were not going to take up convicted felon President Trump’s stupid attempt to force California to set aside more than 20,000 ballots from voters falsely accused of being illegal immigrants.

“The reason nobody can find the FAKE Dan Sullivan is that the Lawyers have ‘scooped’ him up, and are hiding him as they teach him, step by step, what to say in order to avoid one of the Greatest Fraud Prosecutions in American History! The lawyers involved are Criminals, and should be treated as such. The Highest Levels of the Dumocrat Party are involved in this Criminal Endeavor. Peltola should be forced to resign, and charged, along with FAKE Candidate Daniel J Sullivan Jr, who is now, MISSING IN ACTION!” posted the President of the United States on Monday, somehow unable to bring to bear the resources needed to track down and arrest a retired teacher in his mid-70s.

Should probably fire Kash Patel if the FBI Director isn’t sending agents to find Sullivan and these nefarious lawyers aiding and abetting his flight from justice. Peltola should be even easier to find and take into custody, given that she no doubt is posting her whereabouts over social media – not to mention being constantly reported in local media during these last hours of campaigning. Put together it’s just odd that the president isn’t doing more to hunt these criminals down.

“Oil Prices are DROPPING LIKE A ROCK, down almost $10 a Barrel, A RECORD, because people feel there will not be a War with Iran. Iran wants a settlement, as soon as possible. It could happen!” the president, who in 2024 billed himself as the most pro-low gas price leader in history, then posted.

The Orange Corpse just announced he’s “giving serious thought to renaming it the ‘Trump Reflecting Pool,'” as though it’s a tough decision for him to make.

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime on Monday petitioned the Supreme Court to order the state of California to set aside some 20,000 ballots from voters that Team Orange believes may not be citizens, the AP reports on the usual fitful limp dickery from this failed administration.

Describing the case as nothing “other than weaponization” of the justice system, DC Circuit Judge Zia Faruqui on Monday tossed the Trump Regime’s moronic “false statements” case against ex-FBI officials Nikki Floris and Bradley Benavides, who were accused of misleading Congress in 2023 about their knowledge of the Hunter Biden laptop investigation, MS Now’s Ken Dilanian reports.

“This does not feel like an investigation,” Faruqui said, adding “It feels like a broken one-wish willow obsession,” as he ended the Trump Regime’s awesome October surprise case.

“In the final sprint to Election Day, the Abdul for Senate campaign is closing out the race with a record-breaking fundraising surge, bringing in more than $2.4 million on Sunday, November, 1st, delivering its biggest fundraising day yet. ‘As Michiganders head to the polls, the momentum behind Abdul’s campaign has never been stronger,’ said campaign spokesperson Cole Wozniak. ‘This record-breaking grassroots fundraising haul is a testament to the excitement that Abdul’s movement has inspired in the hearts of Michiganders – and a rejection of the status quo politics that’s left Michigan behind for far too long. This haul will go towards ensuring Abdul’s message – money out of politics, money in your pocket, and Medicare for All – reaches every Michigander in every corner of the state during this critical final stretch,'” says a press release celebrating the fundraising haul that will mostly go to El-Sayed’s 2032 reelection campaign (or be transferred to other candidates in 2028) because how the hell are they supposed to spend that in the last 36 hours before polls close?

Elon it's time to fund this.

— Kangmin Lee | 이강민 (@kangminlee) November 1, 2026

Not for nothing but you’d think the guy whose company created a powerful image generation engine could come up with something that doesn’t look so cheap and Photoshopped. One of his weirdo fans seemed to nod at this, that Musk could simply buy up Disney – along with the likenesses of the actors – and retcon the entirety of what’s supposed to be an arc of sacrifice, redemption, courage, and defiance into a plot-less dystopia of unbroken fascist dominance. What is interesting however is that Musk layered only one woman – the idealistic center-left politician whose public image as a paragon of integrity belied a torrid, statutorily rape-y romance continued after his tearful admission that he enjoyed slaughtering dozens of indigenous men, women, and children – and the two kids into the image. You’d think Elon would’ve given Anakin at least two or three more side families as a nod to the SpaceX CEO’s fecundity, possibly even some of them human-alien hybrid families.

Well there’ll be plenty of time and money to storyboard such ideas should Elon follow through and recover what “they” stole from him and all the other demented edgelord Star Wars fans out there.

Underscoring how fucked everything is for Republicans in the Sunshine State – while also noting that it’s not terribly unlikely to happen either – Axios reports idiot MAGA Congressman Byron Donalds needs to capture 66 percent of the in-person vote on Tuesday in order to defeat former Republican-turned-Dem David Jolly in the gubernatorial race. “Donalds could enter Election Day down by as many as 500,000 votes, according to internal Democratic and GOP estimates… To overcome that deficit, Donalds could need to win the Election Day vote by a 2:1 ratio. It’s a tall order, but Republicans have delivered huge Election Day margins before, notably in 2022,” Axios writes.

The good news for the GOP in the final set of New York Times/Siena College surveys of 2026 Senate battlegrounds is that Dem Iowa state Representative Josh Turek leads Congresswoman Ashley Hinson by 48 to 47 percent and thus inside the margin of error. Oh and that the Times didn’t even bother polling Georgia or North Carolina, sparing their dipshit candidates the embarrassment.

The bad news is everything else: In Michigan Abdul El-Sayed leads Mike Rogers 53 to 42 percent, unclear if Haley Stevens is going to close that gap. In Texas it’s Talarico 50, Paxton 43. Maine: Troy Jackson 51, Conern Lady 45 percent. Sherrod Brown leads Toned Ass 49 to 44 in Ohio. Kansas is sucktacular for shitty Doctor Roger Marshall as Rev Adam Hamilton leads 49 to 44 percent. And in Alaska Dem former Congresswoman Mary Peltola is up 48 to 46 over the “real” Dan Sullivan.

Huh. Well let’s see how Tuesday shakes out. Could be, uh, interesting to watch.

At least nine people are very clearly no longer among the living after a private Learjet 60 Twin Engine that took off from Austin, Texas bound for the Bahamas hit a street in Palm Beach, Florida on Sunday, per ABC News. You can’t even see the jet itself in the above clip recorded on an Uber driver’s (?) dashcam, that’s how fast the fucking thing was going when it hit the ground. The relatively small amount of flames erupting from the impact might be some kind of clue as to the fuel situation – indeed the damage was fairly contained, per footage of after the crash.

The already escalating drama over the disunity between Michigan Dem Senate nominee Abdul El-Sayed and loser former primary rival Haley Stevens took a turn into straight-up betrayal on Sunday as CNN reports Stevens just showed up at a church event with El-Sayed’s opponent Mike Rogers.

Stevens then officially endorsed Rogers in a drivers’ seat selfie tweet video.

Asked by CNN’s Jake Tapper on Sunday whether he’ll accept defeat should he lose to Dem former Congresswoman Mary Peltola on Tuesday, incumbent Senator Dan Sullivan said “I’m going to accept the election results.” Which probably means that he already knows through his campaign’s own internal polling, that the fake Dan Sullivan is not going to be the difference between a win and a loss.

NRSC chair Senator Tim Scott meanwhile did not say he would accept a defeat when pressed by NBC’s Kristen Welker. He did not say how Sullivan would end up prevailing even if Peltola won more votes. Another problem for the GOP is that even as the term-limited incumbent Governor Mike Dunleavy’s been making noises about refusing to certify a Peltola win, the the sole Dem candidate in the four-way race to succeed Dunleavy, Jonathan Kreiss-Tomkins, is said to be in very good shape against the three Republican candidates – among them fluoride dipshit former Anchorage Mayor Dave Bronson. Worse yet, the North Star State has a very unusually early transfer of power date at December 7th, making the path to blocking Peltola very narrow should she prevail on Tuesday.

“So, in Los Angeles, our Acting US Attorney for the Central District of California (and various other titles which were forced upon us by the ridiculous Blue Slip SCAM where nobody can get confirmed without the Dumocrats’ approval – which is IMPOSSIBLE to get in that they are all Trump Deranged Lunatics!), Bill Essayli, has done a fantastic job. He is one of the best, EVER! He caught a massive number of Illegal Votes, 20,000, but potentially Hundreds of Thousands, and maybe even Millions, and the Court has just ruled against it. Why would they reject fixing Election Fraud? That’s like, in the 2020 Rigged and Stolen Election, when we had a great case, but the Supreme Court would not hear it because they said I, the President of the United States of America, had NO STANDING to bring such a case. Think of it, the President, on a Federal Election, has NO STANDING over himself, and so it goes. We are going to continue our yearslong fight on Election Integrity,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Saturday after being dealt a setback in his “yearslong fight on Election Integrity.”

Which means that the fat bastard is giving up on his California case and won’t be appealing to the Supreme Court. He just won’t say it that way because he can’t admit that he failed.

Ohio Senator Jon Husted’s toned ass is apparently owned by top lobbyist Todd Lugar, as when in DC, it sits in an apartment that’s also Lugar’s properly, Politico reports. Lugar, whose clients include Facebook, Boeing, and Wells Fargo, and also rents a unit to Husted’s neighboring Republican, Indiana Senator Todd Young, claims he charges fair market value for both,

Texas, Kansas, Iowa, and Nebraska are all under the gun of some seriously severe weather on Tuesday, NBC News reports on a development that – fingers crossed, prayers said, totems clutched, sacrifices made at pagan altars, and so on – will still be coming up a week from now as a convenient go-to excuse for certain candidates’ underperformance in crucial races. That, since their most dedicated voters disproportionately turn out on Election Day itself after being told for six years that early voting is unconstitutional, the rain and wind prevented them from making it to the polls.