“ALASKA: Be careful, VOTE FOR THE REAL DAN SULLIVAN TODAY. Through me, he’s brought HUNDREDS OF BILLIONS OF DOLLARS BACK TO YOUR STATE. The Dumocrats know how good he is and have put up an imposter of the same name. Vote for the ‘INCUMBENT SENATOR.’ Don’t let these Fraudsters get away with this HOAX,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday.

Speaking of cosmetics: Who in God’s name needs to be fired for that eyeliner job? Holy shit, lol.

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth on Monday headed out to the battlefield to help boost morale among those fighting to contain a dangerous threat from the enemy that’s expected to only grow increasingly more perilous over the next few months, with the top leader of the US military’s schedule taking him to a number of frontline posts scattered across an impoverished hinterland full of violent religious fanatics who wish to destroy democracy and inflict widespread suffering.

Per CBS News, one of Hegseth’s stops in Iowa will be at a campaign event for Congressman Zach Nunn, an Air Force Reserve colonel who faces a serious threat from Dem challenger state Senator Sarah Trone Garriott, and thus totally appropriate for the Secretary of Defense to help defend an endangered Republican incumbent. Plus he’s a military officer so the campaign event can be military themed with a lot of pledges of allegiance and salutes from men in camo cargo shorts.

Since they’re CBS News and would’ve written “It is highly unusual for a current defense secretary to campaign for candidates. Previous secretaries rarely if ever attended events for candidates while defense secretary,” even if they hadn’t been hijacked by wealthy fascists, that watered-down MSM pablum is as close to the article gets as a “subjective” remark on the visit. The national network then cited zero examples to support the assertion of “unusual” versus “first time it happened.”

Hosting some 16 year-old lifeguard who saved someone from drowning recently, convicted felon President Trump on Monday used the Oval Office occasion to embarrass the United States of America, claiming variously that voluminous accounts of horrible conditions being suffered by sailors stationed on the USS Abraham Lincoln are a “CNN fake news report,” that he should be able to build a ballroom on the White House ground because a communist dictatorship has a “Great Hall of China,” and said “Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. CNN, fake news. You’re fake news. You’re a loud – You’re a loud, boisterous person. You’re fake news. Be quiet. Be quiet. Be quiet. You’re a fake reporter and you report fake news,” angrily to a reporter who dared to ask Trump about why he was surrendering to obese North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. Must’ve been an exciting day for the kid.

The US Supreme court on Monday for the second time told adjudicated rapist President Trump to go away and come back with something more useful to their mission of a permanent entrenchment of white conservative political power than asking them again to overturn a federal jury’s finding that he sexually abused writer EJ Carroll in a department store dressing room in the mid-1990s.

Convicted felon president Trump on Monday told Fox News that Oman – a US ally and partner in a number of defense pacts and whose bases host approximately 600 American military personnel as part of CENTCOM’s network of strategic logistics hubs – is fair game for his wrath if they “get in the way” of his quest to reopen the Strait of Hormuz, and “we’ll bomb the shit out of them.”

Yup. That’s where we’re at. Joe Biden and Kamala Harris never threatened to bomb an ally.

Oh no. The Associated Press reports that convicted felon President Trump’s 60-day “ceasefire” with Iran expires on Monday, putting up a headline about the end of an armistice that everyone, especially Trump, forgot like several days into the supposed deal. What a goddamned messy blur.

At what Reuters describes as the scene “outside a supermarket not far from Trump’s Bedminster club,” meaning it very well could be the Shop-Rite that convicted felon President Trump’s minions bought all the shit they filled the two tables up with during his now-infamous August 15th “I’m going to magically make everything cheaper” press conference, 68 year-old Trump voter Sheila Carney told the wire service she’s pissed. Pissed enough to utter “an expletive” they didn’t print.

It was probably “fuck” but more important was what she then added. “This is real. He can say it’s not, but it is,” said Carney, who’s delaying retirement because money and crusing about grocery prices while shopping during her day off from working as a hospital administrator. “He hasn’t brought anything down,” the New Jerseyan said while looking at the 12-pack of iced tea, meat, and laundry detergent that ran her $70 at the grocery store. Carney is “considering” simply not voting in November, a worrying sign for absentee incumbent MAGA Congressman Tom Kean.

Carney was the only truly soured Trump voter quoted but Reuters said in 17 conversations with Republicans and independents in New Jersey’s 7th District in which “more than half of those interviewed said they were either undecided or leaning toward” Dem nominee Rebecca Bennett, who naturally is pushing the “Trump was full of shit about making thing’s more affordable” message.

Hey kids! AI’s SO cool and you trust everything it says, right? No? Well nonetheless that’s how Israel’s think these days, as Politico reports the Netanyahu Regime have hired “boutique ad agency” Piro, Inc to work on a hip new campaign focused on “the creation and dissemination of factual, source-supported materials intended to educate the US public regarding Israel and related issues through publicly distributed content,” all of them calibrated to be consumed by LLMs.

Yeah, that’s where they’re at right now since, well, the whole ceasing the genocidal slaughter of innocent civilians thing is off the table so they’re trying other stuff. Cutting-edge tech stuff.

“Watching FoxNews with Shannon Bream is always like watching the Worst of Fake News CNN. I don’t know Shannon, but she always seems to pick guests, charts, and ‘polls’ that are negative, never talking about all of the incredible things that the Trump Administration has done, like Total Border Control, the Most Successful Stock Market in History (81 Record Days in a year and a half!), Biggest Investment in our Country in History (19.2 Trillion Dollars!), breaking the Record by many times over, the Great Military Victories over Venezuela and the essential Denuclearization of Iran.”

“The rest to follow! – The Lowest Crime Rate in Recorded History, the Lowest Murder Rate since 1900 – 125 years! – The Highest Number of People that have Jobs in the United States, EVER, the fact that the United States is more RESPECTED throughout the World than at any time in Memory, the Biggest Drop in Drug Prices, over 500 percent, than has ever been seen before, which will lead to tremendous SAVINGS in Healthcare, the Rebuilding of our Military, in my First Term, making it the Strongest in US History, with the inclusion of Space Force, and so many other things! Yet, week after week, I see Shannon ‘interviewing’ hostile guests, and having losers like Juan Williams, who got fired like a dog from PBS, was thrown off of The Five for somebody even dumber than him, Jessica Tarlov, and when he saw me walking into the Headquarters of Fox, he went CRAZY, begging me for a picture – ‘Could I have a picture with you? It would be such a Great Honor!’ In any event, Shannon’s ‘show’ is beyond redemption. Fortunately, MAGA, which is close to 100 percent of the Republican Party, understands that, and watch her ‘Ratings’ start to fall. Chris Wallace was bad, but Shannon is even worse! Oh well, it couldn’t have had too much of an impact, because I’m now heading back into the Oval Office to continue working on more TRIUMPHS and SUCCESSES for our Country!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Sunday. Must’ve been bad to not include a specific complaint.

In what ABC News calls an “unprecedented move for [the] president” in the headline, the Disney-owned national network sort of missed the mark in emphasizing the allegedly “unprecedented” nature of the convicted felon leader of the free world having some scumbag who he appointed changing the rules to increase his profits from a scam operation designed solely to rip off his own fans and provide a channel for laundering money from third-world despots and other malefactors.

It’s pretty on-brand for Donald Trump. Even “precedented” if you will for the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency, led by Trump appointee Jonathan Gould, to go ahead and say that World Liberty Financial, is a bank and not a slush fund. It’s not like the Republican-controlled Congress or Supreme Court are going to fucking stop them. Their biggest achievement in containing Trump was getting him to delete AI slop depicting himself as Jesus Christ and another one depicting former President Barack and First Lady Michelle Obama as apes.

More like Douche Fakeman, amirite? Heh-heh-heh. Friday had to be the greatest day of this asshole’s life, having convicted felon President Trump show up once again to his suburban bailiwick just outside of New York City in front of a crowd of police cadets who may or may not have faced retaliation or even expulsion from the academy on Blakeman’s orders if they had declined to fill out the seats in the auditorium. Guess the Nassau County Police Department had to find a way to make up for the September 2024 false alarm fuckup that freaked his fans out during a rally at the nearly-adjacent Nassau Coliseum. For Blakeman it’s the pinnacle of his career in politics, leading the populous and wealthy county while also winning the gubernatorial nomination by default after Elise Stefanik said “fuck this” and quit politics because Trump wouldn’t endorse her like he promised to after having pulled her nomination to UN Ambassador because he couldn’t afford to lose her vote.

Lol. Anyway it’s been a long road for Bruce, serving as a town and then county councilman in the 1990s, and then losing the state comptroller race by more than 30 points in 1998, reelection to his county legislature seat in 1999, dropping out of the 2009 New York City mayoral contest, losing a 2010 US Senate primary by more than 20 points, and losing a 2014 congressional race before finally squeaking out the county executive-ship by 0.86 percent against Dem incumbent Laura Curran during the 2021 mini-Red Wave powered by the nationwide “Critical Race Theory” circlejerk.

“At 1100 PM HST, the center of Tropical Storm Lala was located near latitude 17.8 North, longitude 153.5 West. Lala is moving toward the west-northwest near 13 mph. This general motion is expected to continue for the next couple of days, taking the core of Lala near the South Point of the Big Island of Hawaii on Saturday and then south of the smaller islands on Sunday. Maximum sustained winds are near 65 mph with higher gusts. Steady strengthening is forecast, and Lala is expected to become a hurricane as it approaches the Big Island Saturday. Tropical-storm-force winds extend outward up to 220 miles from the center.The minimum central pressure based on data from an Air Force reconnaissance aircraft is 991 mb (29.27 inches),” says a National Hurricane Center update.

After his usual boilerplate “complete and total endorsement” for political limp dick Republican Alaska Senator Dan Sullivan, convicted felon President Trump on Friday took extra exception to the Democrats exploiting the already low-profile non-entity’s even more generic name.

“Because of the trickery in the Voting, the Crooked, Radical Left Dumocrats have put up another man named ‘Dan Sullivan,’ and they did this to take Votes away from our Great Senator of the same name. Democrats are trying to ‘trick’ Alaskans, and treat Alaskan Voters with contempt. On Tuesday, August 18th, Alaskans, don’t be fooled. The Senator you want to vote for is: ‘SULLIVAN, DAN S, REGISTERED REPUBLICAN/INCUMBENT,'” the most notoriously dishonest and pernicious piece of shit in the history of American politics wrote, plainly enraged his own party couldn’t pull a similar maneuver in a crucial race that will prove pivotal if the Dems end up taking control of the chamber.

“‘SULLIVAN, DAN S’ has my Complete and Total Endorsement for Re-Election – HE WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN!” Trump continued with emphasis. Last year he promised New Jersey and Virginia voters their energy bills would be cut in half if they elected MAGA candidates for governor and other statewide offices. That he had made a similar promise during his 2024 campaign, which didn’t really pan out, was not stopping him from just broadcasting his desperation for his squad to win. So yeah, it’s quite rich to see him deservedly freaking the fuck out over the other Dan Sullivan standing up.

“Consumer sentiment fell about 8 percent this August, ending two consecutive months of improvement. While views of personal finances saw only minor declines, expected business conditions sank 11 percent for the short run and 17 percent for the long run. Decreases in sentiment were seen across the political spectrum, with Republicans exhibiting the strongest month-to-month decline in August. Sentiment among Republicans is now 19 percent below readings just prior to the Iran conflict and the lowest since the 2024 election. Although the early-month weakening in sentiment was pervasive across various demographic groups, notably large reductions were seen among older consumers, lower-income consumers, and those without a college degree. These groups are all particularly vulnerable to any erosion of purchasing power stemming from inflation.”

“Across all consumers, only 8 percent expect their income growth to exceed inflation in the year ahead, down from 18 percent in December 2024, a reflection of the belief that high prices will continue to be burdensome,” says the University of Michigan’s monthly survery report.

On his way to his helicopter to board his luxury 747 to fly to New Jersey so he could play golf all weekend, convicted felon President Trump on Friday remained consistent in addressing concerns raised by regular American consumers and the families of Navy sailors stuck on board an aircraft carrier on an extended deployment in the Middle East: He doesn’t give a fuck and would rather not be asked about it, if fact he’ll be far more upset by the way his hair looked when he sees this later.

Let’s-a-go! The news-a sayin-a Luigi Mangione-he-a-pleaded-a-guilty to-a-murderin-tha-man-who-a-denya-health-a-care-to-people-whos-a-dyin-of-horrific-colon-a-cancer an other-a-horrible-terminal-ailaments! He-don’t-feel-so-guilty-because-a-the-victim-wasn’t a-so-sympathetic-to-a-the-general-public-that-a-maybe-he’d-a-had-it-coming! Maybe they-a-even-a-sayin Bryan Thompson-a burnin in-a-hell where he-belong-a! Luigi-also-become-a sex-symbol to-a-women who-a probably-bribing-federal-prison-goombas-to-let them in-a the-jail-house for some amore!