Olivia Nuzzi is on leave from New York Magazine after acknowledging she had an affair with worm-brained presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. while she was covering he 2024 campaign and he was married to actress Cheryl Hines, The Wrap reports.

The magazine reportedly learned of the affair before Nuzzi disclosed it.  “Recently our Washington Correspondent Olivia Nuzzi acknowledged to the magazine’s editors that she had engaged in a personal relationship with a former subject relevant to the 2024 campaign while she was reporting on the campaign, a violation of the magazine’s standards around conflicts of interest and disclosures,” read a statement from the magazine.

Nuzzi had written a profile of the Man Who Dumps Bear in Park in 2023, but a person close to the report told a reporter anonymously that the affair started after it was published.

The group that claims to represent the uncommitted voters of America–presumably a bunch of single forty-somethings who live in rented apartments where they’re still trying to decide between MeatLovers and Hawaiian–lived up to their collective reputation and declined to endorse a candidate in the upcoming presidential election.

Yes, predictably, Uncommitted National Movement leaders decline to outright endorse Democratic nominee Kamala Harris, according to USA Today, although they did publicly oppose a second term for Trump and all other independent candidates.

“How about the deaths of millions of unborn babies?” asks Breitbart commenter Bewareofgun in the top comment on a story editorializing that Democratic presidential candidate Kamala Harris will “blame” Donald Trump for the deaths of two women who died because doctors were too afraid of legal action to treat the women’s fatal pregnancies.

At an address to the Israeli-American Council, a group largely funded by conservative donor extraordinaire Miriam Adelson, the perpetually offensive and offended Republican rapist and presidential nominee Donald Trump wandered from saying “Israel needs to defeat” Democratic nominee Kamala Harris; drones on about his 2016-esque Islamophobic travel ban; and finally tells Jewish people that they’ve treated him very, very badly.  We opt not to run this live because… why give more air to his whining?

Dem on Dem violence in Letcher County, Kentucky as Sheriff Mickey Stines on Thursday walked into the courthouse in Whitesburg and proceeded to blast Judge Kevin Mullins before calmly walking out of the building and surrendering to his own deputies immediately afterward, LEX 18 reports.

We actually don’t know if Mullins was a Democrat, but we think he probably was since former Gov Steve Beshear, father of current Gov Andy Beshear, appointed him in 2009. Stines definitely ran as a Dem but who the hell knows. He could be MAGA and just switched his affiliation to run against another Republican. The thing is not only do we not care, we actually welcome the opportunity to be “fair and balanced” by reporting that a Dem elected official is a fucking maniac who would kill a judge in his freaking office in broad daylight. It helps us appear more credible or whatever.

Love the “pre-pandemic” caveat. It’s like yeah we know, you fucking moron, but Trump doesn’t get a mulligan for the economic crash during the pandemic. If anything his incompetence made it worse.

A new set of surveys by Morning Consult – which you should take with a grain of salt but nevertheless – finds Texas Dem Congressman Colin Allred leading podcaster Senator Ted Cruz 45 to 44 percent, Ohio Dem Senator Sherrod Brown leading M4M d-bag Bernie Moreno by 2 percent. Vice President Kamala Harris meanwhile leads fat former President Trump in every swing state except Georgia where Trump’s up by 1, with Harris up 8 percent in Michigan, 6 percent in Wisconsin, 4 percent in Nevada, 2 percent in Pennsylvania and North Carolina, and 1 percent in Arizona.

Separately a survey by Noble Predictive Insights finds Dem Montana Senator Jon Tester leading that douchebag Tim Sheehy 45 to 44 percent. That’s a race that needs more and better polling.

A cat sadly separated from his owners in Yellowstone National Park in June somehow figured out his way 800 freaking miles to California over two months, making it almost home to the city of Salinas, when a stranger picked him up off the street in Roseville, 150 miles north, and through the local SPCA was able to get in touch with his family using the data on his ID microchip, KSBW reports.

Nobody knows what the hell happened to Rayne Beau. His owner, Susanne Anguiano and husband Benny, though obviously thrilled to have him back at home, is asking the public for any information on if they gave him a ride to California from Wyoming or what. Benny would love to hear from someone who says “Hey, I remember that cat, and like we saw it here, we saw it there or even they took it in.” Otherwise, given the cat’s emaciation and time, they may be stuck just assuming Rayne Beau may have literally just walked most of the way from Yellowstone to Salinas, California.

Look, if you got caught posting “I’m not in the KKK. They don’t let blacks join. If I was in the KKK I would have called him Martin Lucifer K**n!” while you were running a major statewide campaign you would probably deny it and refuse to drop out too so, you know, light up a little.

Also, Politico reports they found Robinson’s email address listed on Ashley Madison, hahaha.

“The RNC sent a letter to Montgomery County, PA, calling out its clear violation of both the law and election guidance by distributing ballots to voters before the required comprehensive testing of its voting equipment. All ballots, machines, and systems must be tested after appropriate notice, before ballots go out, to ensure ballots are cast and counted properly. RNC Chairman Michael Whatley stated: ‘Pennsylvania voters deserve to know why these ballots were distributed without testing and be assured Montgomery County is counting them properly. This is an unacceptable breach of election integrity, and all legal options are on the table.’ By distributing ballots prior to conducting this comprehensive testing, Montgomery County risks providing voters with ballots that will not be counted correctly by the county’s tabulators – all so the Chair of the Montgomery County Board of Elections could claim to be the first voter in the Commonwealth,” says convicted felon former President Trump’s campaign in a statement over some incredibly petty shit.

Ask and ye shall receive: CNN on Thursday afternoon finally dropped their big story about North Carolina Republican gubernatorial candidate and current Lt Gov Mark Robinson and it has the goods with tales of his sickfuckery between 2008 and 2012 on the message boards of a site called “Nude Africa,” of which CNN writes they’re “reporting only a small portion of Robinson’s comments on the website given their graphic nature.” And if writing “I like watching tr*nny on girl porn! That’s fucking hot! It takes the man out while leaving the man in! And yeah I’m a ‘perv’ too!” is not too graphic for CNN then we’d hate to see what they skipped. Obviously such comments – as well as his detailed description of being 14 years old and crawling into an air duct to watch girls shower in a school locker room – stand in contrast to Robinson’s politics on transgender rights and girls’ sports.

Robinson said denied it was him who wrote this shit, calling himself a “black NAZI” and wanting to own slaves. “This is not us. These are not our words. And this is not anything that is characteristic of me,” he said. When confronted with the litany of evidence connecting him with the “minisoldr” user name on “Nude Africa” – and the evidence they have is strong, Robinson said, “I’m not going to get into the minutia of how somebody manufactured this, these salacious tabloid lies.” Salacious indeed.

“The email address associated with minisoldr on Nude Africa was also used by Robinson elsewhere online and social media. On the commenting platform Disqus, a user who joined in April 2011 features Mark Robinson’s photo under the username minisoldr. Usernames and email addresses from Disqus were publicly leaked online in 2017, according to the company. CNN confirmed that Robinson’s username minisoldr on Disqus shared the same email address as the one used on Nude Africa,” CNN writes, lol. It just HAD to be the platform that essentially birthed National Zero too.

Kamala will mandate vaccines for you and your baby that you don’t want. https://t.co/FwC1kPpnwu

— Stephen Miller (@StephenM) September 19, 2024

A campaign strategist tells BusinessNC that Republican North Carolina gubernatorial candidate and current Lt Governor Mark Robinson is expected to go on CNN Thursday to defend himself regarding a pending story about some shit he posted online in 2009 and damn this will be good.

“I spoke to Mark this morning and he was prepared to go on CNN and defend himself against the allegations,” said Jason Williams, a partner in Endgame Consulting (funny name there), the agency working Robinson’s campaign, in a text to a reporter, adding that the CNN story is a “hit piece.”

Doesn’t sound like Robinson is planning on dropping out, despite the Trump campaign reportedly urging him to do so. In any event it’s too late since Thursday evening is the deadline to withdraw but Robinson’s name would stay on the ballot, per the Carolina Journal – which we could use some further explanation on what would actually happen if he does. “On the ballot” and “in the race” are effectively synonymous, especially when the state is sending out the ballots starting on Friday.

Former Gabonese President Ali Bongo told the ruling military junta that he’s reaffirming his “withdrawal from political life and the definitive renunciation of any national ambition” apparently in the hope that his wife and son will be let out of the clink where they await trial on some corruption charges that are probably correct in spirit if not in letter, the BBC reports.

“I call on my country, its leaders and my fellow citizens to renounce vengeance and to write its next history with harmony and humanity,” Bongo added in the letter, pledging never to pose any threat to Supreme General Brice Oligui Ngeuma’s promised transition to back to civilian-ish rule.

Justice Department: “A Lewiston, Maine, man was sentenced today to 30 months in prison for threatening a Black family who lived in his apartment complex. Charles Allen Barnes, 47, previously pleaded guilty to one count of threatening communications in interstate commerce. In connection with his plea, Barnes admitted to sending a Facebook voice message in which he stated that he was outside a neighbor’s residence and would kill anyone who emerged. In the message, Barnes repeatedly used racial slurs to refer to the victims. According to evidence presented at the sentencing hearing, Barnes harbored long-standing racist views, espoused white supremacist rhetoric online and had described himself to an acquaintance as a racist skinhead.”

“After hearing this and other evidence, the court enhanced the sentence based on its finding that Barnes intentionally selected his victims because of race. The court also heard that, several hours after Barnes sent the threatening message, police officers found him sitting outside of his apartment located in the same complex, armed with a large knife. Based on this evidence, the court imposed an additional sentencing enhancement. The FBI Boston Field Office investigated the case, with assistance from the Maine Attorney General’s Office and Lewiston Police Department.”

Obese MAGA psychopath North Carolina Lt Governor Mark Robinson has canceled his scheduled Thursday gubernatorial campaign events in anticipation of what is reportedly an extremely major story from CNN dropping soon, local freelancer Bryan Anderson reports (and he’s not the only one saying this), adding that Robinson’s team aren’t answering his calls asking what the hell’s going on.

Doesn’t need to be said but if a story is bad enough for Mark Robinson to be canceling campaign stops after CNN asked them for comment on a specific matter then it must be bad. Really bad, lol.

UPDATE 9/19/2024 12:17 PM EDT: The Carolina Journal reports “North Carolina Republicans are bracing Thursday morning as word spreads about a damning news story looming regarding Lt Gov Mark Robinson. Sources with direct knowledge have spoken with Carolina Journal on the condition of anonymity and said that Robinson is under pressure from staff and members of the Trump campaign to withdraw from the governor’s race due to the nature of the story, which they say involves activity on adult websites in 2000s.” Lolololol Trump wants him to drop out now?

“WHEN DOES KAMALA AND HER CAMPAIGN GO BEFORE A GRAND JURY ON IRAN, IRAN, IRAN? MY CAMPAIGN WHEN THROUGH HELL ON THE RUSSIA, RUSSIA, RUSSIA HOAX. THE BIG DIFFERENCE IS THAT THE IRAN/KAMALA CAMPAIGN CORRUPTION CASE IS REAL!” posted convicted felon former President Trump on Thursday, obviously agitated over reporting that the Iranians sent the Biden/Harris campaign some of the dirt they had hacked via phishing emails.

House Oversight Chairbilly James Comer is out of ideas now that the president whose reelection campaign he was tasked with tanking with an impeachment investigation – and he couldn’t even get that right – is now trying to make something, anything happen by holding a major Congressional hearing about the conduct of the executive branch over the last three and a half years because that’s all he can think of now that the sitting vice president is running against his Orange Master.

This one – which we theorized is Comer’s attempt at doing what convicted felon former President Trump proved himself incapable of at last week’s debate but in the stupidest way possible – has a shot at becoming an instant classic in a genre that has already gifted us with hours of entertainment. On deck as witnesses are FCC Commissioner Brendan Carr, Center for Immigration Studies director Mark Krikorian, Meaghan Mobbs Director at the Center for American Safety and Security and the Independent Women’s Forum, former EPA Chief of Staff Mandy Gunasekera, and Dem minority witness Skye Perryman, CEO of Democracy Forward.

Republicans on Capitol Hill are having difficulty coping with recent poll findings showing Vice President Kamala Harris’s numbers on how she would handle immigration not just improving over President Joe Biden’s but sometimes even just a few points within convicted felon former President Trump’s, with the January 6th was “a peaceful tourist visit” fucking hick Georgia Congressman Andrew Clyde telling NOTUS the polling “makes no sense to me. She’s the border czar. She’s responsible for this mess. For a poll to say something like that tells me that the pollsters rigged it.”

Creepy white collar criminal Senator Rick Scott echoed the cope, saying “I think that’s probably a Democrat poll. That’s probably not a Republican poll,” even though it wasn’t a poll but several polls, from Quinnipiac and the New York Times/Siena College all putting Trump’s immigration policy question lead in the single digits in the Blue Wall states. “I don’t think anybody buys it,” Texas Senator John Cornhole Cornyn said. “They know the difference between talk and action,” added the man whose actions include voting against a bipartisan border security bill on Trump’s orders.

Really short Kentucky Senator Rand Paul accepted the “reality” that these polls present to construct one within his comfort zone. “When you have a candidate who basically is a chameleon and they will take any position on any certain day depending on which way the wind blows, it’s harder to run against that kind of candidate,” Paul said. “If the election were on immigration, I think it would be hands down that Harris will lose,” he continued, revealing why they’re still talking about fucking cats being eaten in Ohio. Wisconsin Senator Ron “RonAnon” Johnson bitched about the media at first, saying it’s on them for not being “honest in terms of reporting her role in opening up the border.”