“So happy for highly respected Congressman Mike Collins. He will win his Senate Race in Georgia against a pathetic failed Dumocrat Senator, Os(jerk!)off, who is a joke in DC. Nobody even knows who he is!!! I’ll be doing Big TRUMP Rallies for Mike in Georgia!” posted convicted felon President Trump at 2:50 AM EDT on Wednesday following his endorsee’s win in the Senate primary.

Not bad for Trump, that “Os(jerk!)off” nickname, though you have to deduct a few points for the stray exclamation point that mars the otherwise solid placement. “Os-jerk-off” or perhaps “Os-jerkoff” would have been better execution but that’s getting close to hairsplitting. The point got across. Good work Donnie. If only literally everything else you did as president had the same quality.

A “longtime Trump confidant” tells the Atlantic’s Jonathan Lemire that the convicted felon president has been “incensed by the dissent” from his once loyal-worshippers making noises over the utter capitulation by the “memorandum of understanding” with Iran – particularly from soft-chinned wiener Marc Thiessen, the former Bush speechwriter turned Fox News head who said it’s basically the same as former President Barack Obama’s 2015 Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action.

Other armchair warrior Mark Levin’s disconsolate wails of “I have asked for days, why can’t we, the people, see the damn MOU?” also irked the Orange God Emperor. Of adult Disney fan Lindsey Graham, Lemire writes that the dainty South Carolinian “made his reservations known, although he has carefully avoided blaming Trump and tried to pin responsibility on [neckbearded Vice President Jaydee] Vance, who was the lead American negotiator in the early stages of the talks,” lol.

Now let’s make one thing totally clear here: This site is not advocating for Mike Pence to be hanged for any reason, nor even expressing any kind of sympathy with those who wanted him hanged – or really “lynched” would have been the more accurate description of what nearly happened to him on January 6th, 2021. “Hanging” implies an organized imposition of a sentence by the lawful decree of a judge or jury – or that of a tribunal operating under at least some sort of imprimatur of authority, even if it’s a summary or inchoate “kangaroo” court hastily assembled by a new fiat cleaning house.

Anyway, Mike Pence should not have been beaten and then strung up by his neck on a hastily improvised gallows on that day and it’s through a combination of luck and the professionalism of his Secret Service detail that he was not savagely murdered by such a means. Full stop.

Really the only “however” here is that, well, you can kind of see why the MAGA freaks wanted to savagely murder him because goddamn he really is not doing any favors to their cause here with all this very much unvarnished criticism of his former boss’s surrender to the Iranians. You would want him swaying at the business end of a noose if you were a bloodthirsty Trump fanboy overly sensitive to some Q-tip headed establishment politician telling you exactly what you don’t want to hear.

MAGA millionaire Rick Jackson on Tuesday defeated MAGAstablishment Trump endorsee Lt Gov Burt Jones in the Georgia GOP gubernatorial primary runoff on Tuesday, National Zero projects based on a bunch of tweets by election eggheads. Meanwhile the other Trump endorsee, far-right shitty speller Congressman Mike Collins, took the Republican Senate nomination over Gov Brian Kemp-endorsed former Tennessee sportsball coach Derek Dooley in that race’s runoff.

Remember when Joe Biden was too old and infirm to be president? That was funny and much funnier than that lie helping to get convicted felon President Trump elected again and then less than two years later needing to grip the arm of Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi to climb up a step.

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime is confirmed to be leaving Iran in a better place economically than they were before he lost a war to them, as the Wall Street Journal reports that the fat fuck is allowing them to sell as much oil as they want without any restrictions on to whom.

The couchfucker has lived to regret having FCC incel Brendan Carr pressure the daytime talk fest into inviting him on for a Vice Presidential interview. Above’s the lowlight reel, later it got worse:

“Summer tends to move fast – but the moments worth remembering don’t. And with America’s 250th birthday around the corner, we’re bringing back a fan-favorite and bona fide national treasure made for slowing down and savoring the season: the Fried Apple Pie. If you know, you know. If you don’t, June 23 is your chance to find out. The OG Fried Apple Pie is back at participating restaurants nationwide for a limited time. The all-day menu item features our signature filling made with 100 percent American-grown apples, wrapped in the same golden crunch and flaky fried crust fans remember – or soon won’t forget,” says the Golden Arches in a press release.

Deep fried. McDonald’s. Real American apples. Checking a lot of the right boxes there, fellas.

On the day in March that convicted felon President Trump told reporters that his stupid ballroom project “is taxpayer-free. We have no taxpayer putting up 10 cents,” it had already been more than three weeks since the contractor had collected $300 million, according a project summary obtained by the Washington Post exposing the Orange Diva queen’s lavish dream ballroom.

The contractor, Clark Construction “had informed the White House that the projected cost had increased to $600 million. A project summary dated March 5 shows that nearly half of that, $293 million, was expected to come from ‘private sources.’ The estimate said an additional $155 million would come from the Secret Service, $149 million from the White House Military Office and $3 million from the Executive Residence, all sources funded by taxpayers.”

Jaydee put his stamp on some statements that will eventually be falsifiable but, of course, when they are falsified he’ll have his super-special secret way of finding a way around them.

He is JD Vance after all.

Egyptian-born Texas man Mohamed Hussein tells the Texas Tribune he knew going in he was probably in for a rough time at the state Republican party convention over the weekend, he just didn’t expect to exit in tears after being told to either convert to Christianity or leave the US.

“When they say Sharia-free, that means Muslim-free, no practices of Islam,” Hussein said. “No one is calling for the state to implement Sharia laws,” he added and yeah, no shit, but Sharia is Gov Greg Abbott, Lt Gov Dannie Goeb, and Attorney General Ken Paxton’s campaign theme this year.

“I would strongly advise you to leave our caucus. There is a Democrat convention happening in a couple weeks. Join them,” said outgoing state party chair Abraham George, an Indian-American Christian who lost his bid for a second term amid a wave of anti-Indian sentiment in the Texas GOP.

“Iran has agreed to never have a Nuclear Weapon! Also, the story that the US is paying Iran 300 million Dollars is Fake News, put out by the Dumocrats!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday.

In a lengthy video statement, California Governor Gavin Newsom on Monday announced he and his wife are under federal criminal investigation for some unspecified crime. Probably no actual crime.

The US Strategic Petroleum Reserve, a backup supply meant to insulate the US economy from external shocks, is at its lowest level since 1983, thanks to the external shock of convicted felon President Trump’s attack on Iran, CNN reports. Oh and it’s still being depleted as last week alone 8.9 million barrels were released by the Trump Regime, leaving it at 340.3 million barrels.

“For decades our Country’s very important Strategic Oil Reserves were low or virtually empty in that no President wanted to pay the price of filling them up. I filled them up three years ago, right to the top, when oil prices were very low. Those reserves are meant to be used for serious emergencies, like war, and nothing else. Now I understand that Joe Biden will be announcing an ‘attack’ on the newly brimming Strategic Oil Reserves so that he could get the close to record-setting high oil prices artificially lowered. We were energy independent one year ago, now we are at the mercy of OPEC, gasoline is selling for $7 in parts of California, going up all over the Country, and they are taking oil from our Strategic Reserves. Is this any way to run a Country?” wrote Trump in 2021.

Responding to his understanding of the US-Iranian “memorandum of understanding,” psychopathic Israeli National Security Minister Itamar Ben-Gvir on Monday issued a statement reading that “Israel is not subordinate to the US, and we are an independent and sovereign state. We must not withdraw from any territory that our fighters have occupied and cleared of terrorist infrastructure.”

There it is: Neckbearded Vice President JD Vance is confirming that convicted felon President Trump’s “peace deal” gives the Iranians access to at least $24 billion in impounded funds.

“Sadly, if you import people from Third World Countries, you quickly become a Third World Country, and there’s not a thing you can do about it,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday, as though he had not promised to actually do a thing about it – well actually lots of different things about it – pretty much every single day while on the 2024 campaign trail. That all that shit about Haitian refugees eating the dogs, eating the cats, eating the pets, and so on was in fact his electoral mandate from millions upon millions of voters who could not bear such savagery any longer.

The expression of sad regret over his own failures followed an assertion of the purported reversal of an entirely different one in the Middle East. “Ships are starting to move, many loaded up with Oil, out of the Strait of Hormuz. They are going along the Southern ‘Highway,’ which is totally safe, secure, and pristine. There are other areas of travel, also!!!” Trump posted, evidently hinting that there’s some other, heretofore unknown, waterway through which oil shipments can transit.

Trump also shared an article from a site called “gcaptain.com” headlined “US Counts Far More Hormuz Ship Transits Than Commercial Tracking Data Shows,” which was simply a verbatim reprint of a June 5th Bloomberg story. So 10 days ago, when there was still fighting raging.