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Orange Fatass sues Stephanopoulos, ABC over Mace interview

“Plaintiff President Donald J Trump, by and through his counsel, sues Defendants, American Broadcasting Companies, Inc, ABC News, Inc and George Stephanopoulos, and alleges as follows:”

“NATURE OF THE ACTION 1. This is an action arising from Defendants’ transmission and publication of intentionally false and defamatory statements made to numerous third parties about Plaintiff President Donald J Trump. More specifically, and as set forth in greater detail below, on Sunday, March 10, 2024, Defendant George Stephanopoulos, during the airing of his weekly television show, This Week With George Stephanopoulos, falsely stated on several occasions that Plaintiff had been found liable by multiple juries for the rape of Ms E Jean Carroll. These statements were and remain false, and were made by Defendant Stephanopoulos with actual malice or with a reckless disregard for the truth given that Defendant Stephanopoulos knows that these statements are patently and demonstrably false. Indeed, the jury expressly found that Plaintiff did not commit rape and, as demonstrated below, Defendant George Stephanopoulos was aware of the jury’s finding in this regard yet still falsely stated otherwise,” write fat former President Trump’s lawyers in a pointless new complaint over Congressmoron Nancy Mace’s train wreck of an interview from last week.

So this is how Trump plans to come up with the $464 million he owes to the state of New York, suing ABC News and George Stephanopoulos because a jury find him liable for sexual abuse, not rape.

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Shark goes crazy on CNN

“To everybody around the world watching this,” Shark Tank character Kevin O’Leary shouts into the camera. “Absolutely horrific. This case goes way past Trump….”  And then the situation devolves into the host, Laura Coates, trying to be heard over a rambling O’Leary as another guest just shakes her head.  “This is not America!” yells O’Leary, a Trump-supporting Canadian, as he finishes… although adhering to court decisions and following the law is about as Constitutional (and American) as you can get.

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Trump freaking out that he couldn’t get Mar-a-Lago valued at $1B

“The only FRAUD in the Peekaboo James case, our failed and disgusting New York State Attorney General, was her convincing ‘Judge’ Arthur Engoron to put a value on Mar-a-Lago, in Palm Beach, Florida, of just $18,000,000, when it is worth 50 to 100 times that amount. This was fraudulently and illegally done, working closely together in a corrupt Communist system, to set their NARRATIVE after learning that their Values and Facts were completely wrong. Businesses will flee the State as Migrant Crime and Violence continues to flourish. I paid $300,000,000 in Taxes, and this is what I get. WITCH HUNT!!!” —Donald Trump on Truth Social, Monday, March 18th.

Fact check (from an actual fact checker):  Neither James nor Engoron put the $18 million value on Mar-a-Lago; a Palm Beach County real estate appraiser did, and Trump representatives noted with the county they agreed with the appraisal.  And since when does how much one (allegedly) paid in taxes means one isn’t guilty of fraud?

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But we get to keep the microwaves because they’re spying on us

“They’re gonna force us in, they’re gonna force people into cars they don’t want, tell ’em they can’t eat meat, take away their gas stove that they themselves use, their refrigerators, their air conditionings [sic], and their…y’know… washers and dryers…” Trump adviser and blockish hobgoblin Sean Hannity rants with no evidence of anything at all being banned.

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Patrick Byrne’s lawyer arrested on outstanding bench warrant after hearing in DC for Dominion defamation lawsuit

After a hearing in the DC defamation lawsuit brought by Dominion Voting Systems, the pro-Trump lawyer representing former Overstock CEO and Trump ally Patrick Byrne was arrested on a bench warrant issued after she failed to appear for a hearing on four Michigan felonies she’s facing for tampering with voting machines, the Detroit News reports.

Stefanie Lambert failed to emerge from the courtroom at the end of the hearing Monday afternoon, leading reporters to speculate she was detained on the warrant for skipping the March 7th hearing on charges of undue possession of a voting machine, conspiracy to commit unauthorized access to a computer system, conspiracy to commit undue possession of a voting machine and willfully damaging a voting machine.  Each charge has a maximum five-year prison sentence.

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Cannon wants lawyers to prepare arguments for outlandish theory

In an order issued by Judge Aileen Cannon in the federal documents case against Donald Trump instructed the lawyers for each side to submit proposed jury instructions for the 32 various counts Donald Trump faces, but proposed two very different scenarios for the issue of Trump’s “unauthorized possession” of the documents.

After putting forth a scenario in which a jury can review documents to determine if they are, in fact, the individual’s personal records and not government records, Cannon then proposes a second option that would allow the President–Trump, in this case–the authority to declare any government information or documents to be his personal record:  “A president has sole authority under the PRA to categorize records as personal or presidential during his/her presidency.  Neither a court nor a jury is permitted to make or review such a categorization decision. Although there is no formal means in the PRA by which a president is to make that categorization, an outgoing president’s decision to exclude what he/she considers to be personal records from presidential records transmitted to the National Archives and Records Administration constitutes a president’s categorization of those records as personal under the PRA.”

Essentially, she’s asking the lawyers to put together jury instructions in which the President gets sole authority to determine what records produced by the entire government and military of the United States are his personal records, and that decision cannot be reversed or reviewed by anyone, not even the courts or other government agencies.  In Cannon’s scenario, if Trump wanted to say the schematics of the new Ford-class aircraft carrier were his, and he could give them to, say, Putin for his birthday, he could.

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Yammering Yam to appeal decision to keep Willis on Fulton Co. case

Donald Trump and a number of co-defendants in the Fulton County RICO case filed an appeal of Fulton County Superior Court Judge Scott McAfee to allow District Attorney Fani Willis to remain on the case, the Washington Post reports.  Trump and eight co-conspirators defendants requested McAfee grant a  “certificate of immediate review,” something needed in Georgia’s unique court system to allow the defendants to appeal the decision to the state Court of Appeals.

“The Court found that District Attorney Willis’ actions had created an appearance of impropriety and an ‘odor of mendacity’ that lingers in this case, as well as the continuing possibility that ‘an outsider could reasonably think that District Attorney Willis is not exercising her independent professional judgment totally free of any compromising influences,’” the defense motion stated, arguing that McAfee’s order to have either Willis or special prosecutor Nathan Wade resign was an insufficient remedy.

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Peter Navarro spends last hours of freedom on Don Jr’s show

Just minutes after being told by Chief Justice John Roberts to shut up and go to prison at 2pm sharp on Tuesday, former Trump White House Economic something and failed board game entrepreneur Peter Navarro will spend a small but significant enough fraction of the few waking hours that remain before his four month sentence talking to Donald Trump Jr on his stupid show.

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Judge spikes Trump bid to block Stormy, Cohen testimony and prohibits any “selective prosecution” bullshit defense in NYC trial

Manhattan Judge Juan Merchan on Monday denied disgraced former President Trump’s motion to block his former premature ejaculation partner/pornstar Stormy Daniels and ex-lawyer Michael Cohen from taking the stand in his upcoming trial on charges of committing fraud by secretly paying Daniels $130,000 in hush money to stay quiet starting just days before his win in the 2016 election.

In the same order Merchan also prohibited the fat fuck from arguing any of his “victimhood” song and dance in front of jury, writing “Defendant is precluded from: (1) Arguing that the Indictment is novel, unusual, or unprecedented, (2) Making arguments about pre-indictment delay, (3) Making arguments and introducing evidence regarding the purported motivations or personal and professional backgrounds of the District Attorney, or counsel for the People in this case, (4) Making arguments and introducing evidence regarding any potential punishment or other consequences to the Defendant as a result of these proceedings, (5) Making arguments or introducing evidence regarding the alleged bias of the court and court staff, and (6) Arguing or introducing evidence regarding Pomerantz’s purported views on the instant prosecution as expressed in his book.”

“These issues are not relevant and will only serve to confuse or mislead the jury. Indeed, many of these issues were already decided in this Court’s February 15, 2024, Omnibus Decision. The Court also reiterates that this decision does not limit either side’s ability to impeach witnesses during cross-examination or to argue to the Court, at sidebar, that opposing counsel has ‘opened the door’ to the introduction of previously precluded evidence,” Merchan continued.

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Failed MAGA candidate saltier than the bottom of a bag of Tostitos

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Eisenhower Foundation cancels RBG awards for Musk, Murdoch

“The purpose of the RBG Leadership Award is to remember Justice Ginsburg and to honor her. She changed America by teaching us that all are EQUAL. The opportunities available to millions of women in the last 50 years speak for itself. The Opperman Foundation asks nothing of anybody. It is not a business. It is not a government agency. It is not political. It is not a fundraising mechanism. Its purpose is only to do good; to honor RBG; to reflect on her legacy and leadership; and in her name, to identify other leaders who have made a contribution to our world, not just through the law. This year we selected leaders in different fields. We honored men for the first time. We thought RBG’s teachings regarding EQUALITY should be practiced. We did not consider politics. Instead, we focused on leaders, who, in their own way, have made significant contributions to society.”

“It is important to note, that the last thing we intended was to offend the family and friends of RBG. Our purpose was only to remember her and to honor her leadership. And, while we believe each of the honorees is worthy of our respect for their leadership and their notable contributions, the Foundation has decided that the planned ceremony in April 2024 will be canceled. Over the next several months the Foundation will reconsider its mission and make a judgment about how or whether to proceed in the future. We will consider whether there is a way forward that can bring honor and joy to the process with a minimum amount of controversy. This is the only statement that will be made on this subject,” says the Eisenhower Foundation after they fucked up and named Elon Musk and Rupert Murdoch as recipients of the awards before actually thinking about it.

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Asa Hutchinson reneges on pledge to support Trump

“With Donald Trump’s domination of the GOP primaries and the elimination of all primary opponents, including myself, the party leadership and Republican elected officials are clicking their heels in obedience to the victor and presumptive nominee. I have not endorsed Donald Trump for president, and I will not do so,” writes former Arkansas Governor Asa Hutchinson, jumping on the bandwagon with Mike Pence and (maybe) Nikki “Birdbrain” Haley in not endorsing Orange Fatass.

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Jim Jordan wrestles with context

If you’re on the homepage of National Zero you can scroll down to see what, at first, seems to be the YouTube version of the very same video. And it is… for the first one minute and 11 seconds.

However it the one above ends right at the part before the NBC reporter says “Laken’s murder has become a flashpoint in the partisan debate over immigration. Former President Trump meeting Laken’s mom and step-dad earlier this month,” which then segues into a clip of Biden accidentally calling her “Lincoln Riley” at the State of the Union, and back to Jason Riley saying “I feel like she’s being used somewhat politically” and that it makes him “angry… She was much better than that.”

That’s what Jim Jordan (it’s long been established he uses the committee account as his own alternate) cut off from the video to remove the context of Jason Riley saying almost literally to stop this kind of shit, using his daughter’s murder to score cheap political points.

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No Labels, no candidate

“After careful deliberation, I have withdrawn my name from consideration for the No Labels presidential ticket. It was an honor to be approached, and I am grateful to all those who are engaged in good-faith efforts to offer Americans a better choice than the Trump vs Biden re-match.”

“In addition to my private sector career and earning a living for my family of five, I am focused on healing and improving the Republican Party with a GOP 2.0 so we can elect more common- sense conservative candidates in the future,” wrote former Georgia Lt Governor Geoff Duncan in a statement on Monday, the latest in a string of decreasingly recognizable recruits for the pro-Trump scam organization’s fake quest for a “centrist” ticket to help reelect fat Donald.

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M4M pulls ahead in Ohio GOP Senate primary: Emerson poll

A new Emerson College survey of likely Republican Senate primary voters in Ohio finds Trump-endorsed bi-curious car dealer Bernie Moreno with a clear-ish 44 to 40 percent lead over rival state Senator and Cleveland Indians Guardians ownership scion Matt Dolan. Dipshit Secretary of State Frank LaRose is in third at 19 percent and deservedly so because he’s never not sucked.

Of course as it’s Emerson the finding is probably 4 to 6 points off from the actual final delta between the top two in Tuesday’s primary, which means the problem here is that since both candidates are Republicans we don’t know which one whose support they’re artificially inflating. Maybe it’s Dolan because he’s (supposedly) more formidable in the general against incumbent Dem Sherrod Brown and thus why Chuck Schumer’s pals have been boosting Moreno, or maybe it’s Moreno because he’s got so much “grassroots” MAGA support and that’s the secret sauce Emerson uses in their numbers.

So expect anywhere in between Moreno squashing Dolan easily at +8 or Dolan squeaking out a 1-2 percent win… Wait, shit. That’s probably more or less exactly what an actual polling expert would say after explaining the “margin of error” and all their other mumbo jumbo. Fucking pricks.

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“ARE YOU BETTER OFF THAN YOU WERE FOUR YEARS AGO?”

Disgraced former President Trump is on another Truth Social bender Monday, the headline here comprising the entirety of one of the posts, showing that he’s all in on inviting comparisons between they way Americans live now to the national emergency that he exacerbated with his incompetence and venality. Indeed four years ago Monday was the day Trump claimed he was taking useless anti-malarial drug hydroxychloroquine as a prophylactic, prompting at least one American to die after drinking an aquarium cleaning solution that contained chloroquine. So yeah, we’re better off.

Later Trump again whined “Why didn’t they bring these Fake Biden inspired cases against me 3 years ago? Because Crooked Joe Biden wanted them to be brought right in the middle of my 2024 Presidential Election Campaign, strictly Third World Country ‘stuff!'” as if they wouldn’t be over with already if he had just cooperated, screamed “OUR ONCE GREAT COUNTRY IS GOING DOWN THE DRAIN. WE ARE A NATION IN DECLINE! VOTE FOR TRUMP, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE?” in a fit of mania, wrote “Wow!” while linking some fake news article titled “Leaked Audio Exposes FBI Dirty Dealings With Key Informant, Architect of Whitmer ‘Kidnapping Plot,'” and finally just minutes ago again demanded a debate with Biden, writing “IT’S TIME FOR CROOKED JOE BIDEN AND I TO DEBATE – WE OWE IT TO OUR COUNTRY. ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANYPLACE!” which means he doesn’t think he owed GOP primary voters anything when he fucked off on those debates.

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Biden commands McDonald’s to unfuck ice cream machines

The Lord of Ice Cream on Friday issued an edict for his subjects at McDonald’s to unfuck the now years-long issues depriving customers of sugar-laden frozen dairy products, Fox Business reports.

More specifically the Justice Department and Federal Trade Commission sent a letter to the US Copyright Office requesting them to carve out an exemption in the Digital Millennium Copyright Act to allow McDonald’s franchisees to use a wifi enabled device to diagnose issues with their ice cream mixers rather than call and wait for a repair tech from the company to come. That fight between franchisees and corporate McD’s is already the subject of a $900 million lawsuit and why continue with the boring details when we can just say Biden is fighting for your right to a McFlurry.

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Laken Riley’s dad prefers daughter’s murder to “not be so political”

The father of slain University of Georgia nursing student Laken Riley, murdered last month by a Venezuelan migrant, told NBC in an interview aired Monday that he’d “rather her not be such a political, how you say – it started a storm in our country… and it’s incited a lot of people.”

Jason Riley says he’s a Trump supporter, but it was his ex-wife and Laken’s stepfather who had her photo signed by the fat bastard at a MAGA rally in Marjorie Taylor Greene’s district recently. Jason mentions border policy but also that he’s not sure if it would’ve made a difference for Laken.

Not sure what else to write as no one should be ascribing any intent to a parent plainly suffering immensely in grief the way Jason is here. Still hard not to feel like he’s holding back, that if he ends up on camera again that he might be more vocal against the MAGA demagoguery.

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Manafort eyed for comeback on Team Trump’s 2024 lineup

Fan favorite villain from the first season of the Trump Show Paul Manafort is rumored to be making a comeback on the cast as the Washington Post reports that the disgraced former president is looking to re-hire the Russian asset to help with his 2024 effort at the Milwaukee convention.

It’s not clear yet what kind of polling data he’s going to be passing along to powerful Russian oligarchs or how many tens of millions he owes them this time around but it’s a safe bet that Paulie Smallnuts will be working for free again since Big Don would never turn down not paying someone.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Orange Fatass sues Stephanopoulos, ABC over Mace interview

8 mins ago

Shark goes crazy on CNN

2 hours ago

Trump freaking out that he couldn’t get Mar-a-Lago valued at $1B

3 hours ago

But we get to keep the microwaves because they’re spying on us

4 hours ago

Patrick Byrne’s lawyer arrested on outstanding bench warrant after hearing in DC for Dominion defamation lawsuit

4 hours ago

Cannon wants lawyers to prepare arguments for outlandish theory

5 hours ago

Yammering Yam to appeal decision to keep Willis on Fulton Co. case

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Peter Navarro spends last hours of freedom on Don Jr’s show

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Yep, Peter, you’ve got to go to jail

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Judge spikes Trump bid to block Stormy, Cohen testimony and prohibits any “selective prosecution” bullshit defense in NYC trial

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Failed MAGA candidate saltier than the bottom of a bag of Tostitos

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Eisenhower Foundation cancels RBG awards for Musk, Murdoch

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Asa Hutchinson reneges on pledge to support Trump

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Jim Jordan wrestles with context

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No Labels, no candidate

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M4M pulls ahead in Ohio GOP Senate primary: Emerson poll

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“ARE YOU BETTER OFF THAN YOU WERE FOUR YEARS AGO?”

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Biden commands McDonald’s to unfuck ice cream machines

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Laken Riley’s dad prefers daughter’s murder to “not be so political”

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Independents supposedly less likely to vote Trump if he’s convicted for paying to cover up 45 seconds of sex with Stormy Daniels: poll

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The Hill pwned

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Tom Emmer wants future Biden State of The Unions canceled

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Feel the Bern

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