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Jesus Dork begging nearly-dead GOP congressman to hang on

Speaker of the House Mike Johnson on Wednesday told reporters he’s asked Florida Republican Congressman Neal Dunn not to die, or worse, resign early next week – as Dunn did not exactly deny earlier, Politico reports. “Neal Dunn is a beloved member of Congress and a great man, and you know, he’s informed us he’s not going to run for reelection,” Johnson said. As for what Dunn’s next move is, Johnson added he’s “not sure – you need to ask him. But I’ve encouraged him to stay and be a part of this, and I think he wants to do that.” Johnson’s majority is effectively two votes.

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El Paso airspace closed so Army could fire laser at mylar balloon

Without alerting White House, Pentagon, or DHS, FAA Administrator Bryan Bedford on Tuesday night decided to close the airspace around El Paso, Texas because the “Department of War” decided to deploy and fire an experimental new laser beam weapon to destroy what were believed to be drug cartel drones crossing the Mexican border, but the only confirmed hit they had was on a mylar party balloon, CBS News reports on just another surreal episode of incompetence from this regime.

“The FAA and DOW acted swiftly to address a cartel drone incursion. The threat has been neutralized, and there is no danger to commercial travel in the region. The restrictions have been lifted and normal flights are resuming,” ex-Real World cast member Sean Duffy said in a statement.

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Fox News cuts away from Bondi testimony

State propaganda network Fox News cut away from its live airing of scumbag Attorney General Pam Bondi’s testimony to the House Judiciary Committee, clip guy Aaron Rupar reports writes is “highly unusual for a high-profile hearing of this sort” and thus an unmistakable sign that it isn’t going well.

Remember, Republicans currently hold the House majority, lol. This isn’t the friggin January 6th Select Committee hearings that they refused to fully expose their audience to – or air at all.

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Regime fires beauty queen from “Religious Liberty Commission”

MAGA activist Carrie Prejean Boller, a former Miss California beauty pageant winner who was stripped of her title over a sex tape scandal and homophobic comments in 2009 and then later became a Trump 2020 campaign advisor, was fired from the White House’s “Religious Liberty Commission” on Wednesday, two days after she derailed the panel’s Monday hearing on antisemitism by peppering witnesses with questions like “Catholics do not embrace Zionism, just so you know. So are all Catholics antisemites?” and defending Candace Owens, Jewish Insider reports.

Commission chair Texas Lt Gov Dannie Goeb, aka Dan Patrick, announced the firing in a tweet, writing “No member of the Commission has the right to hijack a hearing for their own personal and political agenda on any issue. This is clearly, without question, what happened Monday in our hearing on antisemitism in America. This was my decision.” The Groypers are gonna LOVE this.

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Jim Jordan to performatively wrestle health insurers

The term “kayfabe” refers to insider pro wrestling slang akin to what theater producers might call “diegesis”: the elements internal to the performance as staged for the audience. For example, WWE or AEW wrestlers who are close friends behind the scenes will meet with scriptwriters prior to a show to discuss the “in kayfabe” improvisational beats of their on-camera blood feud in order to advance a storyline about this or that contested championship belt or other plot device. Contrast with “shoot,” which would be some sort of breaking of character, an example being a wrestler with real-life personal enmity of another purposely inflicting injury on that IRL antagonist in front of the audience instead of pulling punches. Or punching Vince McMahon like Bret Hart did once.

Jim Jordan is not a pro wrestler – even though, fucking hilariously, Amazon classified listed 2022 book “Do What You Said You Would Do” as a “Wrestler biography” alongside various unauthorized bios of WWE figures such as John Cena and Cody Rhodes. He’s just a former NCAA Division I sport wrestler who was legitimately very successful at it if less so at preventing his charges from being sexually molested by a sick fuck doctor while Jordan served as an assistant coach at Ohio State.

And yet it’s pretty difficult not to see the very goddamned obvious kayfabe of this Axios article about Jordan issuing subpoenas to eight major Obamacare market insurers – Elevance, CVS, Centene, GuideWell, Oscar Health, Kaiser Permanente, Health Care Service Corporation and Blue Shield of California – in what the “Be Smart” bullet-point factory writes is “part of a widening investigation of potential fraud surrounding the use of premium subsidies in the individual market.”

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Jack Smith lieutenant announces Congressional bid

“JP Cooney – one of the lead prosecutors of President Trump in Jack Smith’s Special Counsel’s Office – today announced his candidacy as a Democrat running for Virginia’s newly drawn seventh Congressional District. Described by the Washington Post as ‘a bold prosecutor who took on big cases,’ The New York Times as a prosecutor ‘known for his aggressive approach,’ and by Business Insider as a ‘top public corruption prosecutor,’ JP Cooney had an 18-year career at the Department of Justice’s Criminal Division, the US Attorney’s Office in Washington, DC, and in Jack Smith’s Special Counsel’s Office before being fired by President Donald Trump within a week of inauguration,” says a press release from the campaign. Cooney’s would-be seat technically doesn’t even exist yet as he’s awaiting Virginia Dems to gerrymander out four of the state’s Republicans.

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Orange Fuhrer considering quitting his own USMCA trade deal

Sources tell Bloomberg News that convicted felon President Trump has privately been talking out loud about quitting the US-Canada-Mexico trade pact that he negotiated and signed in his first term, probably because it would look like he’s doing something besides just saying racist, hateful shit and complaining all the time. Even if it amounts to opposing his own policies.

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Fox News leaves out that K$H’s FBI arrested the wrong fucking guy

Please scratch that Fox News viewers. Pretend this isn’t the second or third time that the fucking idiot in charge of the FBI hasn’t arrested the wrong guy in a high-profile case. Continue watching.

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Demented Donald’s approval rating sinks to 39 percent: NBC poll

Convicted felon President Trump’s approval rating is at the lowest of his second term in NBC’s polling as the latest national round conducted with SurveyMonkey finds the fat bastard at 39 percent approve to 61 percent disapprove. But MAGAmerica still loves and cherishes him.

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FAA closes El Paso-area airspace for 10 days because “security”

“All flights to and from El Paso are grounded, including commercial, cargo and general aviation. The FAA has issued a flight restriction halting all flights to and from El Paso effective from February 10 at 11:30 PM (MST) to February 20 at 11:30 PM (MST). Travelers should contact their airlines to get most up-to-date flight status information,” said El Paso International Airport in a statement on Wednesday and there is zero other official information available on this beyond the FAA’s website saying the area is now under “Temporary flight restrictions for Special Security Reasons.”

El Paso International Airport is a regional hub that handles over 4 million passengers a year, making it the 71st busiest in the United States. And now they’re just shutting it down for 10 days.

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DC grand jury no bills the “Seditious Six”

A federal grand jury in DC has declined to return an indictment against the “Seditious Six” – Senators Mark Kelly and Elissa Slotkin, and Representatives Maggie Goodlander, Jason Crow, Chris Deluzio, and Chrissy Houlahan – the military/CIA veterans whose November video “Don’t Give Up the Ship,” reminding service members of their duty to disobey illegal orders caused a fucking meltdown in the MAGA Reich, NBC News reports on another L for DC US Attorney Jeanine “Judge Box-o-Wine” Pirro.

“It wasn’t enough for Pete Hegseth to censure me and threaten to demote me, now it appears they tried to have me charged with a crime – all because of something I said that they didn’t like,” Kelly told NBC. “That’s not the way things work in America. Donald Trump wants every American to be too scared to speak out against him. The most patriotic thing any of us can do is not back down.”

It’s not clear yet what actual statute Pirro was trying to charge the six Dems under. The drunken former Fox News host has racked up an impressive string of losses at the grand jury stage, possibly more than any other federal prosecutor in their entire career in US history, in like eight months.

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Stonewall National Monument’s flag display de-homo-fied

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime have removed the rainbow pride flag from the Stonewall National Monument in Manhattan, the symbol of the very reason why there’s a goddamned Stonewall National Monument in Manhattan, USA Today reports on the equivalent of removing the Marine Corps flag from the Iwo Jima memorial statue in Washington, DC.

“Removing the rainbow flag from the Stonewall National Monument again makes a target of what is sacred ground for our community – and another attempted act of erasure by an administration that has relentlessly attacked the LGBTQ+ community since the day it took office,” said Cathy Renna, spokeswoman for the National LGBTQ Task Force, in a statement to the paper.

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ICE ziptied a 14 year-old US citizen girl during October raid

If you were suspicious that ICE was hiring a bunch of incel pedophiles with twisted sadomasochistic fantasies well CBS News is here to confirm your priors about the utter savagery and nihilism of those evil, evil cunts. Images obtained by the still quasi-independent outlet show Anabel Romero’s 14-year-old daughter SueHey’s wrists with the ligature marks from the zipties ICE agents bound her with during a raid on a community horse racing venue in Wilder, Idaho in October.

The pics are included in a complaint filed by the ACLU on behalf of the Latino US citizens who were roughed up during the raid that netted 105 undocumented internees. “They have done long lasting damage to children. At this moment, when the United States Congress is confronted with a question of how to reign in ICE… the answer is they need to reign in ICE to protect our children,” said Jenn Rolnick Borchetta, the ACLU’s deputy project director on policing on the case against the Reich.

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