Israeli intel sources have confirmed that Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei is in a very warm place, CNN reports without any corroboration from Tehran’s side on the mean old bastard’s demise.

Now that Obama’s poll numbers are in tailspin – watch for him to launch a strike in Libya or Iran. He is desperate.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 9, 2012

There’s a “growing assessment” among the Israeli intel community that Iranian Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei was killed in an IDF airstrike on Saturday, according to Times of Israel military correspondent Emmanuel Fabian, though Iran’s Foreign Minister Abbas Araghchi told NBC News a short while ago that the 86 year-old tyrant is still alive – as far as Aragchi knew.

Numerous sources are reporting that convicted felon President Trump has canceled plans to address the nation live after his early Saturday attack on Iran after having told media he would do so. No reason was given for the cancelation, though it may’ve interfered with golf plans.

No War With Iran. Get our troops out of Iraq and Syria now. https://t.co/QYKPi38UXU #IranAttack #NoWarWithIran pic.twitter.com/PmE5EEJQCJ

— Tulsi Gabbard 🌺 (@TulsiGabbard) January 5, 2020

Convicted felon President Trump early Saturday told the Washington Post in a brief phone call that lasted mere seconds that “All I want is freedom for the people” as his justification for launching yet another massive not-so-surprise attack against Iran while most Americans were sleeping.

Convicted felon President Trump was more than a little pissed this week at his dipshit FBI Director K$H Patel’s awesome Winter Olympics trip to Milan and especially the post-Team USA men’s ice hockey win celebration – ripping into K$H for it directly in conversation, NBC News reports

Particularly irritating to Trump – a teetotaler – was K$H chugging a beer in the locker room and the whole using a taxpayer-funded private jet for the trip since ostentatious displays of waste, fraud, and abuse is the sole right and privilege of the bloated orange corpse of boss himself. And of course K$H inserting himself into a big win when Trump should’ve been there to insert himself instead.

Asked to comment on the matter, White House spokeswoman Abigail Jackson said “This is a direct result of the President’s law and order agenda which is being successfully implemented by his law and order team, including FBI Director Kash Patel,” like a malfunctioning bot. What the fuck does chugging a beer in a locker room have to do with “law and order”? This dipshit comms flack couldn’t even be bothered to inflate the importance of the spurious “official” shit K$H pretended to do while in Milan and then say that he’d taken some personal leisure time to watch the game? They could not dig up a single documented instance of Chris Wray or James Comey relaxing on a beach for an hour or two between meetings on an official trip to wherever? Fuck man, pay some tribute to virtue here.

Of note in this border town pre-primary day rally show: Texas Senator John Cornhole Cornyn, Picasso-faced corrupt sociopath Attorney General Ken Paxton, and Johnny-come-lately Congressman Wesley Hunt, all vying for their faces to be showered with the fat bastard’s golden glory and an endorsement in the race, are present… As is really fucking terrible human being Congressman Tony Gonzales since he prooobably isn’t welcome at home with his wife these days.

“THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WILL NEVER ALLOW A RADICAL LEFT, WOKE COMPANY TO DICTATE HOW OUR GREAT MILITARY FIGHTS AND WINS WARS! That decision belongs to YOUR COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF, and the tremendous leaders I appoint to run our Military. The Leftwing nut jobs at Anthropic have made a DISASTROUS MISTAKE trying to STRONG-ARM the Department of War, and force them to obey their Terms of Service instead of our Constitution. Their selfishness is putting AMERICAN LIVES at risk, our Troops in danger, and our National Security in JEOPARDY.”

“Therefore, I am directing EVERY Federal Agency in the United States Government to IMMEDIATELY CEASE all use of Anthropic’s technology. We don’t need it, we don’t want it, and will not do business with them again! There will be a Six Month phase out period for Agencies like the Department of War who are using Anthropic’s products, at various levels. Anthropic better get their act together, and be helpful during this phase out period, or I will use the Full Power of the Presidency to make them comply, with major civil and criminal consequences to follow. WE will decide the fate of our Country, NOT some out-of-control, Radical Left AI company run by people who have no idea what the real World is all about,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday, threatening private industry for not licking his tiny balls like Jeff Bezos and David Sacks and the rest of the tech world.

Pakistani officials somehow arrived at a very precise-sounding figure of 297 Taliban military personnel killed so far in the first 24 hours of their war in Afghanistan, Al-Jazeera reports, citing Islamabad’s information ministry spokesman Mosharraf Zaidi. The official also claimed that 89 Afghan posts have also been destroyed, 18 soldiers captured, and 135 tanks and armed personnel carriers have been destroyed… That last tally sounds suspiciously US-made and abandoned in 2021.

Convicted felon President Trump didn’t sound like he was in a hurry to hit the Taliban with tariffs over the fighting, saying “Well, I would, but I get along with Pakistan, as you know, very well — very, very well. You have a great prime minister. You have a great general there. You have a great leader. I think two of the people that I really respect a lot, and I think that Pakistan is doing terrifically well, you know,” to media as he departed the White House for his stupid Texas rally on Friday.

“The Department of Homeland Security (DHS), Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), is issuing this notice in accordance with Executive Order (EO) 11988, Floodplain Management, as amended. ICE has determined that the Proposed Action, described below, is located within the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) 100-year floodplain (Zone AE), 500‑year floodplain (shaded Zone X), and the Regulatory Floodway. ICE reviewed practicable alternatives to avoid locating the proposed facility in the floodplain, evaluated nature‑based approaches where feasible, and assessed potential effects on floodplain resources,” says a notice on the reich ministry’s website acknowledging they’re aware of the flood zones in Romulus, Michigan and Hagerstown, Maryland…

…according to FEMA one of their own agencies. But meh, let’s just build the gulags anyway.

“IT’S ‘SAVE AMERICA ACT,’ NOT ‘SAVE ACT.’ REPUBLICANS MUST START USING THE TERM, ‘SAVE AMERICA ACT’ – MUCH MORE POTENT, AND DESCRIPTIVE!” posted the Orange God Emperor on Friday, ordering his supplicants in the party to further dramatize the stakes of their attempt to codify election denialism that is already dead in the Senate because there aren’t enough votes to create a filibuster carveout. Renaming it is putting a prosthetic butthole on a complete ass of a dead end.

All in a day’s non-work for the fat bastard.

Full disclosure: There’s only so much room in the headlines here so it should be established upfront that it’s not clear if 36 year-old Long Island man Sean McDermott was definitely hallucinating the spiders due to huffing nitrous oxide, aka laughing gas. In fact seeing insects or spiders crawling around is not a particularly common effect of the inhalant, which opens the possibility that there were a large quantity of arachnids dwelling in the now-burned out townhouse in Pocono Pines, Pennsylvania it was some other narcotic that prompted McDermott to assert fire was the most effective solution to the infestation. Or that other narcotic caused him to hallucinate the spiders.

That and other unanswered questions linger after this report by 6ABC on the havoc McDermott hath wrought. It still however does a pretty admirable job putting it altogether: McDermott and a friend were in the townhouse that he owns (or owned) in the mountainous Pennsylvania countryside on Monday when the fiery behavior began. The article lists McDermott as living in East Moriches, New York – deep in the MAGA part of eastern Long Island – but does not elaborate on whether he was in the process of moving or had bought the townhouse as a rental/vacation property or what.

In any case, the friend later told cops that McDermott “kept putting the fires out and McDermott kept lighting them” to immolate the real, exaggerated, or imaginary spiders. At some point both men had left to go to separate destinations but arrived back at the house at the same time to find it engulfed in flames. Local fire crews spent the next eight hours trying to put out the fire that gutted the townhouse and damaged no fewer than three adjoining/nearby units to an unclear extent.

“As part of a Golden Age of exploration and discovery, NASA announced Friday the agency is increasing its cadence of missions under the Artemis program to achieve the national objective of returning American astronauts to the Moon and establishing an enduring presence. This includes standardizing vehicle configuration, adding an additional mission in 2027, and undertaking at least one surface landing every year thereafter,” says the space agency in a new press release.

“As teams prepare to launch Artemis II in the weeks ahead, the Artemis III mission, now in 2027, will be designed to test out systems and operational capabilities in low Earth orbit to prepare for an Artemis IV landing in 2028. This new mission will endeavor to include a rendezvous and docking with one or both commercial landers from SpaceX and Blue Origin, in-space tests of the docked vehicles, integrated checkout of life support, communications, and propulsion systems, as well as tests of the new Extravehicular Activity (xEVA) suits. NASA will further define this test flight after completing detailed reviews between NASA and our industry partners. The agency will share the specific objectives for the updated Artemis III mission in the near future.

Let’s Go Brandon https://t.co/0GsiPxF8JH

— Lauren Boebert (@laurenboebert) February 27, 2026

Not these two idiots endorsing sick scumbag Texas Congressman Tony Gonzales’s maniacal gun freak primary challenger Brandon Herrera but that “Let’s Go Brandon” would become the rallying cry.

It was only a matter of time that would happen.

In related news, and this gets really friggin tea-leafy, but noteworthy nonetheless: The Texas Tribune’s Patrick Svitek points out that one of convicted felon President Trump’s minions on Friday took the wheel of his Truth Social account to repost his endorsements of a total of 27 Republican US House candidates from the Lone Star State ahead of his trip to Corpus Cristi this afternoon. Of those 27, 10 of them are running for open seats or challenging incumbent Dems while the other 17 are incumbents running again. Tony Gonzales was the only one left out of this re-endorsement binge.

Might’ve raised a few eyebrows if Trump had in fact reaffirmed support for Tony. Also missing from the lengthy string of posts was any word on who he’s backing in the Senate primary.

Colombian media on Wednesday reported that 23 year-old national Rafael Vergara, whose mom, Conservative Party Congresswoman Angela Vergara, claimed to CNN had been legally living and working in the US while being processed for asylum, was finally deported back home this week after more than 20 days in the gulag in Louisiana waiting for a seat on a deportation flight.

“This isn’t a political issue; it’s really a human rights issue,” Congresswoman Vergara told CNN, adding “Being a conservative politician doesn’t mean I agree with human rights violations in Colombia or anywhere else in the world.” At no point was it explained why the son of a politician with resources and connections had been claiming asylum like an impoverished laborer rather than simply buying his way in the same way so many other third-world elites’ kids do but whatever.

“He told me that he was with 70 people in a cell, that they had gone 12 hours the day before without drinking water, (and) everyone was sick,” said the woman whose party celebrated mightily when convicted felon President Trump returned to the White House and have since constantly heckled leftist President Gustavo Petro over his clashes with El Naranjo Coño. Petro last week had tweeted a November 2024 video of a woman resembling Vergara dancing with a MAGA hat on but deleted it after it had turned out she was some right wing Chilean senator. “No matter the paradox, the Colombian embassy in the US must help… this Colombian congresswoman to recover her son,” Petro had written nonetheless. It’s not clear if Rafael’s return was sped up by any political intervention.

Gathering his caucus at a “retreat” in Florida on Friday, Jesus Dork Speaker of the House Mike Johnson informed his members that Sunshine State Republican Congressman Neal Dunn – who’s already dropped his 2026 reelection bid and over the last month or so has reportedly been back-and-forth on resigning immediately due to his serious health issues – may have a “terminal diagnosis,” Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman reports on more grim news for Mike’s already-tiny majority.

Were Dunn to resign immediately it would put the House at 217 R – 214 D, technically a GOP plurality.

Trump administration is getting too cozy with communist Delcy Rodriguez… She can’t be trusted. Every time President Trump says he’s working great with her, he drops five points in South Florida, where people know the dangers of communism. pic.twitter.com/HW7LCB2q4w

— Rachel Campos-Duffy (@RCamposDuffy) February 27, 2026