“The Fake News Media has lost total credibility, not that they had any to begin with. Because of their massive Trump Derangement Syndrome (Sometimes referred to as TDS!), they love saying that Iran is ‘winning’ when, in fact, everyone knows that they are LOSING, and LOSING BIG! Their Navy is gone, their Air Force is gone, their Anti Aircraft apparatus is nonexistent, Radar is dead, their Missile and Drone Factories have been largely obliterated along with the Missiles and Drones themselves and, most importantly, their longtime ‘Leaders’ are no longer with us, praise be to Allah!”

“The only thing they have going is the threat that a ship may ‘bunk’ into one of their sea mines which, by the way, all 28 of their mine dropper boats are also lying at the bottom of the sea. We’re now starting the process of clearing out the Strait of Hormuz as a favor to Countries all over the World, including China, Japan, South Korea, France, Germany, and many others. Incredibly, they don’t have the Courage or Will to do this work themselves. Very interestingly, however, empty Oil carrying ships from many Nations are all heading to the United States of America to LOAD UP with Oil,” posted the Orange Grandpa on Saturday morning after a night spent glued to cable news.

No screenshots or video clips of “The Fake News Media” saying outright that “Iran is ‘winning'” were attached to the post, because there are none. Instead he’s simply enraged at the for reporting the austere reality: They’ve taken a beating but they are not even close to destroyed by the simple fact that the fat fucking weasel is too scared to commit American lives to a bloody full-on invasion of the country to eradicate Tehran’s regime. Hell he won’t even try to seize control of Kharg Island, a strategy that was floated by all the instant geopolitical experts in the MAGAverse last month.

At least a third of Ireland’s 1,500 gas stations were out of fuel on Saturday as a truck and tractor blockade of the country’s lone refinery and several distribution depots continued in protest of the sudden price spikes brought by convicted felon President Trump’s stupid Iran war, the AP reports.

The main highway around the capital of Dublin and many other key arteries were closed and the Garda, the Irish national police force, were called in for double shifts. Prime Minister Micheal Martin was baffled as it – obviously – wasn’t any policy of his government that caused the price spikes. “It is unconscionable, it’s illogical, it is difficult to comprehend,” Martin told state broadcaster RTE.

“Well yeah, no shit,” former President Joe Biden did not say as he was not asked to comment for the story. But unilateral action by malevolent, revanchist tyrants affect everyone globally and legitimate democratic governments at a remove from the action get blamed for it by their voters anyway.

As if to underscore that “illogic,” the bloated near-corpse actually responsible did indeed on Saturday morning post “Massive numbers of completely empty oil tankers, some of the largest anywhere in the World, are heading, right now, to the United States to load up with the best and ‘sweetest’ oil (and gas!) anywhere in the World. We have more oil than the next two largest oil economies combined – and higher quality. We are waiting for you. Quick turnaround!”

Eric Swalwell deserves his day in court. In politics however, some things simply amount to a preponderance and as such the extremely damning and credible allegations against him merit an immediate end to his gubernatorial campaign and his resignation from Congress five minutes ago.

Full stop. In the very extremely unlikely event this is some kind of honey trap and right wing conspiracy against him then his name can be cleared in the future and he can mount some kind of comeback. Just because Mike Johnson is complete worm and would not do the same to Tony Gonzales and Cory Mills does not somehow make it okay for Swalwell to stay. He needs to resign.

“My Administration stands ready to use the full Economic Might of the United States to strengthen Hungary’s Economy, as we have done for our Great Allies in the past, if Prime Minister Viktor Orbán and the Hungarian People ever need it. We are excited to invest in the future Prosperity that will be generated by Orbán’s continued Leadership!” posted Dollar Tree Orban on Friday.

In a stunning and basically unprecedented development, the AP reports that convicted felon President Trump’s minions acknowledged they were full of shit about something and, even more amazingly, it’s actually pretty bad for one of their most highly-touted propaganda narratives.

According to the wire service, when dipshit Center for Medicaid and Medicare Services Mehmet Oz warned that New York State’s Medicaid program last year provided some 5 million people with personal care services, which assist people in need with basic activities like bathing, grooming and meal preparation, which Oz said was “unheard of.” Which was accurate because it was unheard of and more than 10 times the number of actual patients on personal care services. CMS spokesman Chris Krepich acknowledged the idiotic overstatement to the AP, saying Team Oz had misread the state’s billing codes and once again the MAGA Reich’s incompetence hampers their malevolence.

“The error, which the administration admitted first to The Associated Press, prompted health analysts to question how many of the Republican administration’s sweeping anti-fraud efforts around the country were based on faulty findings,” the AP writes right after the lede of the article, hinting this is just the tip of the iceberg of the manifold fuckups in the Regime’s “fraud” crusade.

“According to former Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, long one of President Donald Trump’s staunchest political allies, the President ‘has gone insane.’ That is a medical judgment that I am not qualified to make, but I understand what Republican Marjorie Taylor Greene is talking about. Experts have repeatedly warned that the President has been exhibiting signs consistent with dementia and cognitive decline. And, in recent days, the country has watched President Trump’s public statements and outbursts turn increasingly incoherent, volatile, profane, deranged, and threatening.”

“His apparently deteriorating condition has caused tremendous alarm across the nation (and political spectrum) about the President’s cognitive function and continuing mental fitness for the office of President, and prompted concerns about the President’s wellbeing. At a time when our country is at war – especially when the war was initiated by the President without congressional declaration or consent – the American people must be able to trust that the Commander-in-Chief has the mental capacity to discharge the essential duties of his office. I therefore request that you conduct a comprehensive cognitive assessment of President Donald Trump, provide those results to Congress, and make yourself available to brief Congress on your findings,” writes Dem Congressman Jamie Raskin in a letter to convicted felon President Trump’s White House physician Sean Barbabella.

BREAKING: Suspect throws Molotov cocktail at OpenAI CEO Sam Altman's home, according to company spokesperson pic.twitter.com/0PmgWic8iv

— Fox News (@FoxNews) April 10, 2026

Asked Friday by the Rev Al Sharpton at an event in New York City, former Vice President Kamala Harris addressed her 2028 plans by saying she’s “thinking about” another go, CBS News reports.

“Let me also say this. I served for four years being a heartbeat away from the presidency of the United States. I spent countless hours in my West Wing office, footsteps away from the Oval Office. I spent countless hours in the Oval Office, in the Situation Room. I know what the job is. And I know what it requires,” Harris continued. “I’ve been traveling in the country the last year, I’ve been spending a lot of time in the South and many other places. And the one thing I’m really clear about also is, the status quo is not working, and hasn’t been working for a lot of people for a long time.”

“Harris lost to President Trump in the 2024 election after replacing then-President Joe Biden at the top of the Democratic ticket,” CBS then writes in their article. Thanks for the reminder, fellas.

“The Iranians are better at handling the Fake News Media, and ‘Public Relations,’ than they are at fighting!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday, followed shortly after by “The Iranians don’t seem to realize they have no cards, other than a short term extortion of the World by using International Waterways. The only reason they are alive today is to negotiate!”

Yup, this is the tough strongman America elected to put all the world’s bad actors in their place.

A verbal dispute between patrons of a gentlemen’s club in Houston, Texas this Saturday last left no other alternative but for six present to effect a most fateful conclusion upon a lone fellow in the motor-carriage lot adjacent to the establishment – and prompting the constabulary to issue a bulletin for all good citizens to report with alacrity the where-abouts of the rogues, ABC 13 reports.

The exsanguinated corpse of a Mr Mg Padilla, aged 33, was encountered by patrons of the Paradise City gentlemen’s club located on the Gulf Freeway in the small hours of Saturday morn. The club, an establishment whose repute is that of bacchanal merriment and lavish dance performance numbers by partially nude seraphs, supplied the constabulary with photo-images of the rogues, three of each said to be male and female patrons. Caution is advised if the intemperates are happened upon as at least one is an accomplished pistolier of ill compunction in discharging a firearm with lethality.

Man, the Trump fanboy guy Joe Kernen was just clawing for something, anything to feel better and no, Pete Buttigieg would just not let him have it. Not even close. Just rhetorical brutality.

“Palantir Technologies (PLTR) has proven to have great war fighting capabilities and equipment. Just ask our enemies!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday, probably as a favor to evil freaks Alex Karp and Peter Thiel when the share price is down 2 percent as of 10:43 AM EDT.

But hey, let’s hear more about how great of a job they did reopening the Strait of Hormuz and creating a fully free and democratic Iran liberated from the scourge of Islamic fascism.

“Consumer sentiment sank about 11 percent this month, extending a decline that began with the start of the Iran conflict, and is currently about 9 percent below a year ago. Demographic groups across age, income, and political party all posted setbacks in sentiment, as did every component of the index, reflecting the widespread nature of this month’s fall. One-year expected business conditions plunged about 20 percent and is now 6 percent below last April. Assessments of personal finances declined about 11 percent, with consumers expressing a substantial increase in concerns over high prices and weaker asset values. Buying conditions for durables and vehicles worsened, again on the basis of high prices. Open ended comments show that many consumers blame the Iran conflict for unfavorable changes to the economy… Year-ahead inflation expectations surged from 3.8 percent in March to 4.8 percent this month, the largest one-month increase since April 2025.”

“The current reading exceeds those seen in 2024 and remains well above the 2.3-3.0 percent range seen in the two years pre-pandemic. Long-run inflation expectations ticked up from 3.2 percent last month to 3.4 percent this month, the highest reading since November 2025. In 2024, values ranged between 2.8 percent and 3.2 percent, while in 2019 and 2020, they were consistently below 2.8 percent,” says the University of Michigan’s Surveys of Consumers with more bad news for America.

As the article makes clear, this reporting is based on an analysis of more than 40,000 comments on President Trump’s posts on Truth Social. pic.twitter.com/jBp5KajKpv

— NYTimes Communications (@NYTimesPR) April 9, 2026

The Times story is friggin funny, basically their version of “MAGA Land.” That it’s obviously by nature anecdotal makes this meltdown and the calm, measured response even more comical.

A former top official with Russia’s Ministry of Defense was sentenced to 19 years in the gulag Friday on charges of doing something – whatever it was is not clear – to piss off dictator Vladimir Putin who then ordered him prosecuted over what had to be previously permitted graft, Reuters reports.

Former Deputy Defense Minister Pavel Popov’s paper crime was embezzling funds meant for “Patriot Park” – an exposition center that in 2024 the AP described as Russia’s “military Disneyland,” and a pet project of former Defense Minister Sergei Shoigu to showcase USSR and Russian Federation history and weaponry – and spending it on renovations for his homes in and around Moscow. Not exactly the most mind-blowing of scams in a country where the government officials who aren’t regularly embezzling from public funds are the ones who you need to treat with suspicion.

Thus leaving us with a gap to fill on what “crime” Popov was really guilty of. Maybe he had a bit too much vodka and ogled one of Vlad’s mistresses’ cleavage at a party or something. The boss is petty.

“The Consumer Price Index for All Urban Consumers (CPI-U) increased 0.9 percent on a seasonally adjusted basis in March, after rising 0.3 percent in February, the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reported today. Over the last 12 months, the all items index increased 3.3 percent before seasonal adjustment. The index for energy rose 10.9 percent in March, led by a 21.2-percent increase in the index for gasoline which accounted for nearly three quarters of the monthly all items increase.”

“The shelter index also increased in March, rising 0.3 percent. The index for food was unchanged over the month as the index for food away from home rose 0.2 percent, while the index for food at home fell 0.2 percent,” says the Bureau of Labor Statistics’s monthly MAGAflation report.

Just going to throw this out there: Maybe sending this weirdo onto Fox News the next morning to continue what many suspect to have been Melania getting out ahead of something really bad might not actually be the smartest strategic move. The grating circularity of this rant is just a bonus.

“Our latest Quantus Insights survey of likely registered voters in Kentucky’s 4th Congressional District, conducted April 6 and April 7, shows Thomas Massie leading Ed Gallrein 46.8 percent to 37.7 percent, with 14 percent undecided and 1.5 percent saying they would not vote. For an incumbent, being under 50 percent is not ideal. But a near 10-point lead in a two-man race is still a strong position, especially when the underlying numbers suggest Massie retains the advantages that usually matter most in a primary: a known name, an established base, and a political identity that fits the district better than some in Washington may assume,” says Quantus Insights’ intro to the polling.

Who actually knows how solid this is. Primary polls in a single district are, to say the least, not known to be terribly reliable. Still, if it’d been the other way around the right wing media would’ve been SCREAMING with joy about how fucked Massie is against whatever that butthole’s name is and it will be mighty entertaining should the challenger fail in his duty to the Orange God Emperor.

Fascist Texas Lt Governor Dannie Scott Goeb, better known as “Dan Patrick,” expressed on Wednesday a fear that the currently 88 to 62 Republican-majority state House could flip to Democrats this November, the Texas Tribune reports on some opaque alarmism.

“We’re going to have a tough time holding the Texas House,” said Goeb as he spoke at the Texas Public Policy Foundation’s annual conference in Austin. Goeb also pleaded with the eventual loser of the heated shitshow of a Senate primary to endorse to the winner as mission-critical to holding onto the US Senate. “Get over it and come together as one,” said Goeb to the right wing assembly.

It’s not clear how much of this was actual sincere fear of a flip versus just bullshit to whip up the crowd into donating and campaigning smarter ahead of an expected tough year for the GOP.