“The USA has total control over the Strait of Hormuz. I THINK WE WILL KEEP IT! Our Naval Blockade is being called, by everyone, ‘A WALL OF STEEL,’ and there is nothing Iran can do about it. They have no Navy, they have no Air Force, their remaining soldiers are unpaid, the IRGC is decimated and fleeing, and their ‘Leadership’ is uncertain, at best! They have No Money – Their country is ‘shot.'”

“All they have is FAKE NEWS and 300 PERCENT INFLATION, and getting worse! Iran is all talk and no action, the Bully of the Middle East No Longer. Praise be to Allah!” posted the syphilitic octogenarian who hid in a catering truck instead of facing the enemy he claims is “decimated.”

“Children were exposed to rabies while possibly playing with a bat at a park in Frederick, health officials said Monday evening. A bat was found at Riverwalk Park on Schifferstadt Boulevard, according to the Frederick County Health Department (FCHD). A parent called Frederick County Animal Control to come get the bat from their home on Thursday after her children and others may have played with the bat at the park,” says the lede to a WUSA9 article that does not further elaborate on what “playing with” means. Suppose we’re meant to infer that the winged mammal was sluggish enough for them to take home as though it were a pet, but maybe the station should spell that out. Otherwise it sounds kind of dark, weird, or even somehow kind of supernatural.

WATCH LIVE: Democratic socialist governor candidate Francesca Hong speaks with Wisconsin race still too close to call https://t.co/n84yoTorrG

— Fox News (@FoxNews) August 12, 2026

The white nationalist stormtroopers of ICE are spending $20 million of taxpayer dollars to procure special gloves – branded literally GLOVEs, as in Generated Low Output Voltage Emitter – to electrocute noncompliant victims of their overlord Stephen Miller’s reaction to finding out he’s Eskimo brothers with rapey scumbag Eric Swalwell, the AP reports, citing a DHS order.

The “GLOVEs,” manufactured by Compliant Technologies LLC, are not new, untested technology as some police and corrections departments have already been using them to subd- Oh, you really want to know about the Swalwell-Katie Miller thing? WELL, last week this one former Axios/Daily Beast reporter-turned-Substacker Juliegrace Brufke put out a story that in 2014, a then-22 year-old intern Katie Schwald had a thing with the-then 34 year-old Swalwell. Miller herself confirmed this, on Twitter, writing “I was an intern on Capital Hill” in response to Brufke’s tweet reading “Scoop: Eric Swalwell and Katie Miller: Former Cross-Party Fling Provides Leverage in DOJ Fang Fang File Drop.”

The incomprehensible second half of that sentence sense notwithstanding, yeah this is probably why Stephen Miller wants his legions to be equipped to electrocute a screaming autistic 12 year-old girl into submission for interfering with their efforts to lock her loving father up in the gulag for the “crime” of overstaying his tourist visa in 1999. All thanks to Eric Swalwell, disgraced now and at best doomed to an Anthony Wiener-dom purgatory of successive failed comeback attempts starting in five or 10 years, effing Stephen’s now wife several years before they had even met. Back when Swalwell was merely a handsome womanizer who charmed young Katie into bed with far more ease than the prematurely bald, vampirically pallid, and perpetually miserable Stephen did. The mere thought of Katie howling in ecstasy whilst being gripped by the Democrat Swalwell in a darkened office at 2:15 PM on a Thursday demands that immigrants suffer the pain of electrocution.

“Today, at my direction, Dr Mehemet Oz announced that Medicaid will NO LONGER fund gender transition surgeries and hormones for minors. We are not going to pay for our innocent children to undergo these barbaric surgeries and practices, which result in unthinkable and irreversible harm to their young bodies. Thanks to our strong position and pressure on this issue over the past year and a half, dozens of US hospitals have already ended this so-called ‘gender-affirming care,’ and we expect many more to follow. Just think about all of the young, innocent, and perhaps confused children who will be spared! While the Dumocrat Party wants your kids to be able to chop off their reproductive organs before they are old enough to vote, President Donald J Trump (ME!) and the Republican Party say that is ABSURD, and we will protect America’s children.”

“Please remember this when you are casting your vote in the Midterm Elections in November,” wrote convicted felon President Trump on Truth Social Tuesday, finally taking action on policy for which untold dozens of Americans will hinge their vote upon this November, action that he was supposed to have taken on day one more than 18 months ago.Or already took and just forgot he did.

Plus why’s it only for minors? Adults can still get transition surgery and hormone therapy via Medicaid, so all these kids have to do is wait until they turn 18 to get their transitions paid for? Doesn’t seem like all that effective of a crackdown on “they/them” Americans were promised.

Now the “meaningless bullshit” in the headline is not to be dismissive of the practical consequences this may have for minors who are mid-transition and will suffer adversely (if the order survives court challenges). It’s that the desperation that was already unsubtle by the fact that Trump even posted this at all was just made fully transparent with the “remember this in November” part.

🚨 EXCLUSIVE in @FoxNews:

Today is National Poll Worker Recruitment Day, and the RNC has SHATTERED our 2024 recruitment benchmarks.

The RNC is building the LARGEST election integrity operation in GOP history.

More ⬇️ pic.twitter.com/1fQqv93yWc

— RNC Election Integrity (@RNCVoteProtect) August 11, 2026

“The President’s authority to withhold certain sensitive information for the public good, today referred to as executive privilege, is ‘peculiar to our system of separation of powers’ and ‘derive[s] from the supremacy of each branch within its own assigned area of constitutional duties.’ United States v Nixon, 418 US 683, 705 (1974); see also Congressional Requests for Confidential Executive Branch Information, 13 Op. O.L.C. 153, 154 (1989) (‘Congressional Requests’). You have asked whether that privilege, and particularly the presidential communications component of it, permits the President to protect communications that he has with advisers who do not work for the Executive Branch. Determining whether the privilege applies to any specific communication would require additional information about the facts and circumstances surrounding that communication.”

“But as a general matter, executive privilege can apply to presidential communications with private advisers so long as the communications (1) relate to official presidential decisionmaking, (2) involve or reflect communications with the President or his direct advisers, and (3) are confidential,” says a new memo from the DOJ’s Office of Legal Counsel, an opinion crafted to walk backwards from the predetermined outcome of freedom to claim executive privilege over anything and everything.

The upshot of course is that when, for example, a Dem-led House committee subpoenas that crypto hustler “CZ” for documents about his corrupt dealings with the Trump crime family, including his pardon, and then the White House claims executive privilege because CZ offered “private advice” on “crypto policy” – shit that of course benefitted him and his company. This will then lead to a long, drawn-out court fights that will sap the momentum that powered the initial push for accountability, much like the 2019 investigations into Trump’s finances that took forever. However, now that the regime has already pissed away the “presumption of regularity” that most judges had accorded them, DOJ lawyers are going to have more difficulty throttling the cases as well.

During the a quarterly earnings call, convicted felon President Trump’s eponymous Trump Media and Technology Group on Monday “reported a $238.1 million net loss and a $223.5 million Adjusted EBITDA* loss for the second quarter of 2026, the vast bulk of which was non-cash losses including unrealized losses on digital assets, digital assets pledged, and equity securities ($190.4 million), accreted interest ($11.7 million), and stock based compensation ($8.1 million), along with its $1.9 billion in financial assets and $13.7 million of cash used in operating activities-including $25.6 million of legal expenses, primary related to legacy litigation.”

Seems like the regime’s just going to skip the subpoenas and go straight to door-bashing home raids on this one: The Washington Post reports that convicted felon President Trump last month did not only not fly out of Turkey on Qatar Force One and then use a bullshit excuse to pretend that the $400 million bribe from the wealthy emirate was perfectly safe for him to fly on internationally on the way home from Ankara, he also didn’t even fly on the real Air Force One as was previously reported.

The Orange God Emperor was instead ferried across the Atlantic and to the NATO summit on a military aircraft trailing behind AF1, so fearful was he of the reprisal from Iran for his moronic and already failed campaign against them. TV cameras caught the fat bastard boarding the real plane before he was scurried out of a side door to the unspecified military jet, and then Trump secretly rendezvoused with the real AF1 in the UK. No wonder Donald freaked the fuck out over the Times’s reporting about the Qatar Force One vulnerabilities – they were within inches of this specific detail.

So just to recap: Last month our super tough and brave president let his entire retinue and military personnel fly on an Air Force One 747 that he knew to be targeted by Iranian missiles, secretly switched to another plane, THEN at a US base in the UK he had everyone switch to Qatar Force One and lied about why when asked – saying he wanted US airmen to check out the new bribe plane.

All to cover up a more damning lie: He was too chickenshit even to fly on the real Air Force One.

“I see that Representatives of the Islamic Republic of Iran are asking for compensation for the damage done to them during the last five month Military Conflict (started because, THEY WILL NOT HAVE A NUCLEAR WEAPON), even though it was never mentioned in any of our negotiations or meetings! But it is an interesting idea because now I am likewise demanding compensation from Iran, for all of the people that they have killed and gravely wounded with their roadside bombs and many conflicts, for which they are famous, as led initially by General Soleimani, including the families of those killed on the USS Cole, and thousands of others killed in combat. Additionally, compensation should be paid to the families of the hundreds of thousands of innocent protestors that Iran has killed over the last 50 years, not to mention the 52,000 that have been killed in the last five months. I have instructed my representatives to put this firmly into any, and all, future negotiations,” posted dipshit President Trump on Monday. What a great idea for an “off-ramp.”

“Also, with respect to the Iran negotiations, Iran should be responsible for the damages and death caused to the people of Lebanon, Syria, Yemen, and Gaza!” the fat bastard later added and even if you just let the confusion over Gaza slide since it was Israel that killed all those innocent people there’s still the question of why he’s posting this very aspirational “should” shit publicly instead of putting it in a memo for expert negotiators Jared Kushner and Steve Witkoff to hash out with Iran.

At least 20 people have been killed and dozens of structures collapsed after a 7.4 magnitude quake struck western Colombia on Monday, the AP reports. Despite the extreme depth of 66 miles, the quake inflicted serious damage on the region and into neighboring Ecuador. Colombia’s seismological agency called the temblor the strongest in over a decade to hit the country.

The tectonic setting is fairly distant from the shallow epicenters of the double 7.2 and 7.5-magnitude earthquakes that struck central Venezuela in late June, killing over 5,000 people.

Deputy Speaker of Iran’s “Islamic Consultative Assembly,” Ali Nikzad, in Monday said it a speech that convicted felon President Trump can kiss any chance at pre-war normalcy goodbye.

“The Islamic Republic of Iran tried to inform the aggressor and deluded enemy of the fact that the Strait of Hormuz is not going to return to the pre-war conditions during the days of the war,” said Nikzad, per Al-Jazeera. “Unfortunately, they tried to pretend not to know, but the passage of time is the greatest teacher for deluded people, and today the American-Zionist enemy, with a strong fist of armed forces, has practically realised that the opening of the Strait of Hormuz has no military solution and must submit to the new order in the region.”

“Black and Brown Voters don’t want Communism or Socialism – Not surprisingly, they are flocking to the Republican Party! They remember that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Sunday, apropos of… something. Whatever it was is not clear. Most likely some private pollingthat freaked him out, since public polls show him underwater with white voters.

Saturday came and went and with it the deadline for hateful piece of shit Republican Ohio Congressman Max Miller to take his name off the ballot and allow the GOP to find a replacement candidate, Axios reports on a seat in real danger of flipping to Dem challenger Brian Poindexter, a union steelworker whose slight lead in polling over Miller seems poised to grow.

Israeli dictator Benjamin Netanyahu’s regime on Sunday rejected a 15-point “peace plan” devised by convicted felon President Trump’s bullshit “Board of Peace” for disarmament of Palestinian terrorist group Hamas, with “Bibi” telling his cabinet that the IDF “would not carry out any withdrawal” from Gaza “until Hamas is disarmed,” the New York Times reports on Trump’s latest failure.

“I want to be clear here – Israel is ruling out the 15-point plan,” said Netanyahu in a published readout of the meeting, compounding the ongoing wane of Trump’s political and diplomatic power.

Sophie Cunningham has a message for DiJonai Carrington after their heated clash: "Go get [attention] somewhere else."

Cunningham called Carrington's hit "intentional" after the Sky player smacked her in the face during a layup attempt, earning a flagrant 2 foul and an ejection.… pic.twitter.com/p2kCE3twJt

— Fox News (@FoxNews) August 9, 2026

It’s unlikely Texas Trump voter John Gannon would regret having supported the Orange God Emperor in 2024 if his wife were an American citizen. A white-haired 75 year-old Caucasian businessman who CBS News touts as owning “more than 1,000 billboards in the US as well as several establishments in Mexico, including a hotel and a restaurant,” is as firmly inside the MAGA demo as 29 year-old basement dwelling incels with opinions on AI anime porn image generators.

The racism, corruption, and malevolence were cool with Gannon until last month when ICE agents came and grabbed his 45 year-old fiancee, Yasmin Suarez Reyes, from Houston’s George Bush Intercontinental Airport as the couple were waiting to board a flight to go to a furniture trade show in Las Vegas. “After leaving the United room, eight officers, ICE agents swarmed Yasmin and detained her. (They) didn’t tell us why and wrestled her off into a car,” Gannon said in an interview with CBS.

“I voted for Trump,” Gannon said ashamedly in the interview, adding ICE is “picking up law-abiding citizens. They’re destroying families, jobs… Go after the criminals. We’re all for that. But leave the mom and pops and the kids alone. Man, he’s destroying families.” Gannon voted to destroy families.

Worth noting that Reyes is (A) not accused of any crime (B) is in the US legally and has been since 2023 (C) is a Venezuelan native but also a citizen of Spain, one of 40 countries that visa-free travel to the US is allowed, and (D) applied for asylum in January 2024. But, per the Trump Regime, Reyes had “lawfully entered the US and illegally overstayed her lawful admission which expired on January 19, 2024. Pending applications do NOT confer legal status. All of her claims will be heard by a Justice Department immigration judge, and she will receive full due process,” adding the Administration “is not going to ignore the rule of law.” Great trolling there. Five out of five stars.

From Iranian State Media on Saturday: “Mohammad Baqer Zolqadr, Secretary of the Supreme National Security Council, on Saturday, August 8, in a message congratulating the brave journalists and soldiers in the field of news, awareness and information, referring to the latest situation in the the region, announced: Until America corrects its behavior, the Strait of Hormuz will not open.”

“Behavior correction means: 1 – Never threaten Iran or insult the sanctities of this nation. 2 – End the war and aggression against Iran and its allies in Lebanon, Palestine, Yemen, and Iraq forever. 3 – Lift the naval blockade and withdraw its military forces (naval and air) from around Iran. 4 – Pay the damages of the two wars of aggression on Iran. 5 – Lift the cruel and illegal sanctions against the Iranian nation. 6 – Unconditionally release the frozen and stolen assets of the Iranian people.”

“These are the demands of the Iranian people who have been shouting for it relentlessly in the squares and streets for one hundred and sixty days.” The Secretary of the Supreme National Security Council emphasized: The Supreme National Security Council will never back down, whether in war or in negotiations,” the statement continued and lol the fat bastard is going to blow his stack.