Two Florida seniors citizens, James Duckett, 68, and Dominick Occhicone, 80, are set to become part of state history on Tuesday after Goverbor Ron DeSantis signed special orders recognizing them for their unique life stories, Local10.com reports on an exciting day for in the Sunshine State.

Okay, sure. DeSatnis signed their death warrants. Both are set to be executed via lethal injection at Florida State Prison in Bradford County – Duckett at noon for the 1987 rape and murder of an 11 year-old girl and Occhicone later on in the day for the 1986 double murder of his ex-girlfriend’s parents. Both are notable for separate reasons as the case against Duckett – an on-duty police officer on the night of the murder – is still the subject of some lingering doubts, although in 2003 one of his most outspoken advocates publicly did a 180 and concluded Duckett was indeed guilty.

Occhicone meanwhile will be the oldest inmate executed in Florida history. Put together the two’s capital punishments will mark the first double execution day in the state since 1964. So it really is kind of a special occasion – even without the obnoxious omissions in the headline and lede.

A new survey of likely voters from Texas Public Opinion Research shows Dem James Talarico leading Picasso-faced Attorney General Ken Paxton 45 to 40 percent in the Senate race, the Texas Tribune reports, adding it’s Talarico’s largest lead in any public poll taken since Pax’s primary win in May.

Trump's generic drug tariffs will test his pharma strategy https://t.co/pxVBMVlAbs

— Axios (@axios) July 28, 2026

A 7.1 magnitude earthquake at a depth of 6 miles struck Kumamoto on Japan’s southern main island of Kyushu late Tuesday afternoon, prompting a tsunami alert, the NHK reports, adding that a news chopper spotted flames and smoke rising from a residential building in a nearby city

“BREAKING NEWS: The Failing New York Times, after 10 years of harassment, slander, and libel, just failed again in their desperate attempt to have our powerful Defamation Lawsuit against them dropped. As we requested, the Highly Respected Judge has called for an updated complaint, which will lay out, in extreme detail, all the ways in which The Times has repeatedly and consistently acted, with actual malice in defaming me, my family, our Great MAGA Movement, and America, itself.”

“We will continue to hold The Times and their ‘comrades’ in the Mainstream Media accountable for publishing, promoting, and dealing in Fake News,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday after nothing actually happened in the case in court as there was no hearing scheduled.

It was three weeks earlier that the Florida federal Judge Steven Merryday tossed the Times’s attempt to move the case to SDNY. The fat fucking idiot is evidently unaware that his lawyers last October had filed the amended complaint after Merryday rejected the first one for, among other inanities lauding how “‘The Apprentice’ represented the cultural magnitude of President Trump’s singular brilliance, which captured the zeitgeist of our time” in a federal civil complaint.

Meanwhile, a different Florida judge on Monday ruled that the fat bastard must turn over private info about his personal finances to the BBC for discovery in his lawsuit against them, lol.

Convicted felon President Trump’s reich on Monday petitioned the Supreme Court to restrict mail-in voting to only those on a “state citizenship list” in November’s midterms, the AP reports.

“Pursuant to House Rule XI, clause 3(b)(8)(A), and Committee Rules 17A(b)(1)(A) and 17A(c)(1), the Committee on Ethics has extended the matter regarding Representative Lance Gooden, which was transmitted to the Committee by the Office of Congressional Conduct on June 10, 2026. The Committee notes that the mere fact of a referral or an extension, and the mandatory disclosure of such an extension and the name of the subject of the matter, does not itself indicate that any violation has occurred, or reflect any judgment on behalf of the Committee,” says a notice from the House Ethics Committee posted Monday.

Facing the same deranged and often violent market for their products in the US, the Japanese wing of the Pokemon Company last week announced that their stores in the fictional cartoon fighting animal brand will now employ facial recognition technology in order to throttle the rampant scalping of new releases in the Pokemon Trading Card game, Kotaku reports. “To ensure compliance with appropriate entry and purchase rules, we will be using a facial recognition system to verify the identity of customers aged elementary school age and older when they enter the store and receive their numbered tickets,” the company said in announcement, the “tickets” being a voucher that allows the bearer to actually purchase a box of the increasingly expensive collector-sought cards.

This is on top of the May policy announcement that buyers will need to present a Japanese government-issued ID to buy certain cards and/or enter the “lottery” to get the chance to buy other certain cards or boxed collections ahead of their releases to the company-owned retail stores.

It’s not clear when the new GOP line will be “You need to show a photo ID to buy Pokemon cards in Japan, therefore you should have to show it when you vote in American elections.”

Nearly-dead Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell’s office on Monday announced, per Punchbowl’s Andrew Desiderio, that Mitch “continues his recovery from a fall at home in June. OAP physicians visit with the Senator every day, discussing all aspects of his rehabilitation care. Since his discharge from hospital care, he has maintained a strenuous course of physical therapy and rehabilitation, including multiple sessions a day designed to rebuild strength and reduce the risk of future falls.”

“His bout with childhood polio continues to be a significant factor in his mobility. He is not yet medically cleared to leave the rehab facility and return to the office,” the statement continued.

Despite having survived the immediate “controversy” over the aborted logo redesign last August that prompted legions of overly vocal crackers to erupt in outrage and cost investors $100 million, Cracker Barrel CEO Julie Masino is headed for the exit, the Wall Street Journal reports.

Former Outback Steakhouse CEO David Deno will take over on August 10th. It’s not clear if this means that Cracker Barrel will begin offering its own version of the Bloomin Onion.

“John Thune should not allow the United States Senate to ‘leave town’ until it passes The Save America Act or, far better still, TERMINATES THE FILIBUSTER, where Republicans can then quickly pass everything they ever dreamed of, including a full and deep throated SAVE AMERICA ACT, the Budget, and the ever looming Debt Ceiling disaster, 1929! The Dumocrats will do it on day one, and can’t believe how lucky they got with this Senate leadership. Remember, stupidity always brings LOSING and DEATH!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday, continuing his obsession.

Gravely ill both mentally and physically for years, convicted felon President Trump has obviously always had a love of posting insane bullshit and nonsensical memes. This, however, seems like a serious escalation… “It’s our oil tanker now” was stupid once so why the hell post it four times?

An anonymous 42 year-old Brooklyn scooterist suffered extremely mild injuries when he lost control of a rented Lyft scooter on a bike bath in Baltimore on Sunday morning, National Zero reports and yes this actually happened, lol. No, I did not go the hospital nor did I need to, and I simply righted the scooter and continued on my way to a nearby Catholic church to attend a baptism mass.

Pain is like a 2 out of 10. I am fine. This is not the reason it’s been 27 hours since the most recent article so much as a symptom of the same cause: out-of-town social obligations, hotel stay, nine hour-long party, so on. At the same time, my own scooter crash happening the day after the “scooterist” story was too friggin funny not to lead with in the headline and opener here.

An unidentified “scooterist” – described only as a white male in his twenties or thirties – was tragically killed in an accident in New Haven, Connecticut on Thursday night, Fox 71 Hartford reports with almost callousness. Even outright derision toward the poor departed soul, intended or not.

For the station in the Constitution State’s capital city to be describing a misadventure victim in its third largest as a “scooterist” is utterly monstrous. What gives them the right to use what immediately registers as a deeply cruel homophobic slur against a person with friends and loved ones for whom loss has yet to fully sink in? For real, where the fuck do they get off calling him that?

It’s impossible to suppress a giggle seeing the word and even moreso the impropriety of its context as an unidentified accident victim. Which immediately turns to nagging guilt, which then immediately turns to “Alright, whoever wrote this article has something seriously wrong with them, as does the editor for this stupid station’s website who failed to see it and change it to simply ‘Man on scooter.'”

The idiot who runs our country says this but doesn’t have the courage or evidence to come after me. This should tell you how low IQ he is. Trump is who needs to get the hell out of our country because he is destroying it and making us the laughing stock of the world. https://t.co/gFYIPVcSyW

— Ilhan Omar (@IlhanMN) July 25, 2026

See? This is how it’s done. You can ring the bell about the fascism, white nationalism, abuse of power and so on. Every lib with a Twitter or Disqus or YouTube account can and do all day every day. Too few actually take it to the next logical step and say “So fucking do something already, you orange pussy. You’ve only been making empty threats for like eight years now.”

EDITOR’S NOTE: This story should’ve been published June 12th or 13th, but seriously got dragged out the door for a birthday party or something… Or maybe some other shit happened in the news and then this whole article fell by the wayside. It wasn’t finished, probably about 65 percent, but will just wrap it up with a note explaining what the intent was to bring it all around…

“When Julie Slama and her husband moved to a home outside Dunbar, Nebraska, in April 2022, they were happy customers of Elon Musk’s Starlink,” opens a Washington Post article that requires a brief but very funny detour in the pickup here because they really breezed over who Slama is and completely ignore what else happened with her that very same month in that very same year.

True, they say she’s “a Republican and former Nebraska state senator,” and it’s not exactly germane to the story about friggin Starlink but come on. How the hell do they not at least nod at the fact that she publicly accused Trump-endorsed GOP gubernatorial candidate Charles Herbster of sticking his hand up her skirt during a 2019 event and then got sued by Herbster? At least write “getting internet service in her new home was one less headache after moving in the middle of getting hit with a defamation suit for publicly accusing a Trump-endorsed millionaire of sexually assaulting her.”

Herbster – who that month was also outed as an Ashley Madison user, lol – ended up losing the primary and the lawsuit was dismissed that October. Slama dropped her sexual battery case against Dirty Charles and moved on, happy enough paying $90 a month for high speed internet she and her husband need to run their law practice from their house outside of Dunbar, population 156 and 40 miles south of Omaha, given the non-availability of literally any alternatives out in the boonies.

Until it wasn’t $90 a month. “I can complain about Starlink raising their prices, but it’s the only real option we have,” said Slama, adding. “Once they have rural customers on their service with no meaningful alternatives, they’re free to raise prices at will.” Welcome to capitalism, Jules.

“Fresh and Ready Foods LLC is recalling a limited number of Sprig and Sprout Spicy Breakfast Burrito and Fresh and Ready Spicy Breakfast Burrito because they may contain undeclared soy.”

“People who have an allergy or severe sensitivity to soy run the risk of serious or life-threatening allergic reaction if they consume these products. Consumers who do not consume meat should also not consume these products, as the recall was initiated after sausage was found in products labeled vegetarian,” says an FDA alert on the burritos that Fox Local describes as from “vending machines.”

It’s not quite “gas station sushi,” self-evidently problematic for all its connotations, but “vending machine burrito” certainly sits on a similar spectrum of things that human beings probably should not consume, irrespective of any FDA recalls for mundane content mislabelings for soy and meat.