“United States Attorney for the Southern District of Florida Jason Reding Quinones submitted his resignation from the Department of Justice. We are grateful for Jason’s leadership in combatting violent crime, drug trafficking, sex trafficking, and transnational crime, including the indictment of Raúl Castro. Jason has served the Department multiple times over his distinguished career, and we thank him for his service to this country,” tweeted Todd Blanche on Friday, omitting mention that Quinones was the prosecutor in charge of the mind-meltingly fucking stupid “Grand conspiracy” case that was supposed to put Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama behind bars because the FBI raided Mar-a-Lago in 2022. You might’ve heard it wasn’t going well even before Quinones – whose replacement will need to be confirmed before Christmas if Trump wants a MAGA loyalist – quit.

Tesla will be winding down production of the Cybertruck at Gigafactory Texas around the middle of next year to make room for increased Cybercab production

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) November 6, 2026

Maybe it’s a coincidence that Ketamine Brain chose this week to announce the end of one of the most insufferable symbols of the Pax MAGAmericana of two years ago. Maybe it isn’t. Still, Chevrolet sure as shit didn’t discontinue the Bel-Air the day after Buddy Holly, Richie Valens, and the Big Bopper died so cruelly in that plane crash – and maybe that counterfactual/analogy doesn’t actually hold up because the Bel-Air is still considered the aesthetic apex of American automobile design.

The Cybertruck on the other hand… Well the Pontiac Aztek’s designers must’ve felt like the millstone they’d been carrying for so long had been instantly lifted the day Elon unveiled his monstrous creation. There’s also that the Aztek isn’t up there with the goddamned Ford Pinto as a notorious death trap, nor was it ever so closely associated with the most hateful and destructive American political movement since the Confederacy and the Klan. Rest is pieces, you fascist shitbox.

(Yes, maybe the Volkswagen Beetle deserves some kind of mention here given that Hitler personally ordered its development in the 1930s. That is actually true, as urban legend-y as it sounds. It was through US and British occupation of West Germany that its production was revived and, because of its cheapness, eventually became associated with hippies in the 1960s. Never say never, but such a similar revival is prooooooooooobably not going to happen to the Cybertruck. )

On this week’s Fox News exit poll question of “Would you say Donald Trump has the mental capability to serve effectively as president?” 43 percent of the 39,730 respondents said yes to the question to 57 percent no, something that Fox chose not to bury or simply remove from the data.

“Stock Market just hit another Record High — 91 Days in just a short period of time — Less than two years. Your 401(k)s are through the roof. Record Setting All!” posted convicted felon President Trump at 12:27 EST on Wednesday, more than 12 hours after his party’s savage beatdown.

“The Stock Market suffered one of the Worst Days in History based on the results of the Election. Such a sad thing to watch! It took so much work to get us to a level that no one has ever seen before, and then this. Your 401(k)s have, therefore, dropped. Remember, it wasn’t Republicans, it was Dumocrats. Do not fear, however, we will soon, one way or the other, be BIGGER AND STRONGER THAN EVER BEFORE,” posted convicted felon President Trump on at 6:18 PM EST on Thursday. Such a smooth way of escaping accountability for his own incompetence.

Convicted felon President Trump is commanding Tennessee Senator-and-Governor-Elect Marsha Blackburn to resign early and outgoing Gov Billy Lee to then appoint drunken date rapist Pete Hegseth to the seat, according to Tennessee Dem Christopher Hale, citing “Republican sources.”

Hale’s not a journalist but he didn’t make this up either – last month Puck first broke the story that Hegseth was trying to pitch the evil idiot Blackburn on appointing him as her replacement. All Hale’s adding that Trump is trying to orchestrate seating Hegseth, thereby ridding himself of a liability and putting him somewhere safe-ish for however long it takes for Pete to face voters.

In related news Bloomberg reports Marco Rubio is also considering quitting, lol.

No major networks have called it yet, but the end is inevitable for white trash Colorado Congresswoman Lauren Boebert as, with about 97 percent counted in the Centennial State’s 4th District, Democrat challenger Eileen Laubacher holds a 2,500 vote lead. Hilariously, Boebert began her career in the 3rd – on the other side of the not-very-small-state, and BARELY won reelection in 2022 (credit to former GOP operative Kurt Bardella for the “OnlyFans” line), and abruptly switched to the 4th in 2024 after Ken Buck retired – and then abruptly said “fuck this shit” and resigned early.

The 4th, which is basically West Kansas, was supposed to be the safer district. And it was, as the not-yet-40 year-old grandmother of one cruised to technically-not-reelection in the district by 11 percent in 2024 (while Trump won it by 18 percent), only for it to swing about 11.7 percent to Laubacher, a retired Navy rear admiral who recently switched parties. Meaning someone who graduated high school and had a respectable career in public service rather than some idiot hick who got into politics due to media attention over her refusal to follow COVID restrictions in her shitty restaurant that ended up closing and its storefront converted into a Mexican joint.

Fascist scumbag DOJ “Civil Rights” division chief Harmeet Dhillon has resigned from her post, Fox News reports on the first significant scalp from what’s expected to be a bloodbath.

A London jury on Thursday found actor/comedian turned Q-pilled conspiracy podcaster Russell Brand guilty on charges of rape and sexual assault, Sky News reports on the downfall of yet another MAGA hero. Jurors acquitted Brand on two counts of rape, and one count of attempted indecent assault, while nailing him to the wall on a single count of rape and three counts of sexual assault.

Justice Joel Bennathan, who may or may not have been wearing one of those silly jurist wigs while addressing the grave matter, told Brand he’s “been convicted of a number of offences including rape. The consequence of that is inevitably a significant custodial term. My current view is that I therefore have to remand you into custody,” sending the formerly Hollywood-marketable actor to the clink ahead of his Monday sentencing. As Bennathan said, the bid will be “significant,” so Charlie Kirk’s minions may want to hold off on booking him for this December’s big TPUSA fest.

Convicted felon President Trump on Thursday told ABC’s Jonathan Karl he has “every intention to keep” binge-drinking date rapist Pete Hegseth on as Defense Secretary. Karl writes that Trump “acknowledged receiving calls from people unhappy with Hegseth, but said, ‘I get these calls, you know, about him. I don’t understand why.'” Karl does not then comment on Trump’s lack of understanding, but adds that Trump knows it’ll be easier to confirm a replacement before Janaury.

The New York Times’s Wednesday night article headlined “I Have Seen the Enemy, and It Is Us’: Inside Team Trump’s Historic Collapse – How an unpopular president and an unpopular war provided an opening for Democrats to make sweeping gains in the midterms,” and containing the hype-y “This account of the Republican Party’s collapse is based on interviews with more than 70 people,” following the intro doesn’t quite live up to that implication of giddy hilarity one might’ve expected.

It’s well-reported and there is some funny shit, like Trump asking one of his minions “If we never went into Iran, what do you think would happen in the midterms?” and that, by waiting too long to book ads, MAGA Inc paid 11 times what Dems did for the cost of a local TV news commercial spot in Alaska. But overall it’s both just a tad too inside baseball-y and not comedic enough.

The opener, an in media res of a meeting between Trump’s top political chieftains Tony Fabrizio, Chris LaCivita, James Blair, and others is pretty goddamned funny though: Knowing they were fucked, Fabrizio joked “Maybe we could get asylum in Israel,” while Blair said “Look, it’s fine. I think we’ll just pull a Mike Lindell and demand a recount regardless of how many points we’re down.”

“Last night, the voters of North Carolina’s 9th District made their choice, and I respect it. God is sovereign over my life, and He has a plan for all of us. Representing the people of North Carolina has been the honor of my life. Since 2013, I’ve worked for North Carolina families. That includes the soldiers and families at Fort Bragg, who sacrifice more for this country than most people will ever know. Every day I had the privilege of being Fort Bragg’s Congressman, I worked to earn that honor. America is the greatest country, and I believe more than ever in the principles that make us great. Whatever the future holds, I will keep fighting for those principles and for the people who believe in commonsense, conservative policies that will save our country and make the lives of the American people better. In the words of Ronald Reagan: we lost a skirmish, but the battle goes on,” and blah blah blah said NRCC chair Richard Hudson in his concession letter.

So for those keeping score at home, the guy whose job it is to make sure that the GOP did not lose the House did such a shitty job that he lost his own Trump double-digit seat,

Convicted felon President Trump has begun his usual pre-firing ritual of asking advisers whether Pete Hegseth should be sent back to Fox and Friends Weekends, CBS News reports.

From one long-ass tweet posted by Vice President Couchfucker on Wednesday morning:

“One of the things the data analysts on our side obsessed over was ‘composition’ – whether the electorate looked close enough to 2024 for Republicans to win. And despite polls that showed a Democrat blowout, the data kept on telling us the same story: in some states turnout was merely OK, in other states it was downright amazing, and in no state was it catastrophic. There was a genuine sense of optimism on our team: our people were showing up. So, I asked the smartest data guy I know, does that mean we’re going to shock the world? ‘No,’ he told me. ‘We might do better than the polls suggest. But the data is telling us that a lot of Trump/Vance 2024 voters are pissed and planning to vote for the other guys. Our voters are turning out, but they may not vote for us.'”

“Well, that looks prophetic now. Our voters did show up. In Florida, for example, the electorate was 9 points more Republican than Democrat, just a couple points worse than 2024. Undoubtedly there were places we could have done better on turnout. But the main problem is not turnout. The main problem is that many people who voted for Trump/Vance in 2024 voted for Democrats in 2026.”

Jesus Dork Speaker of the House Mike Johnson on Wednesday informed his minions that he will not be running for House Minority Leader, Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman reports, with that announcement coming ahead of spandex-wearing grapple-freak Jim Jordan throwing his jockstrap in the ring to take the helm of the now badly-diminished House GOP caucus. He may need to assure the younger male Republican Congressmen that he will not be hiring a predatory pervert who performs medically unnecessary examinations of their genitals and buttocks to serve as House doctor.

Sherman just now reported that Steve Scalise will be challenging Jordan for the head coach spot.

Thank you for your attention to this matter. pic.twitter.com/Q1ZGYM7idV

— The White House (@WhiteHouse) November 4, 2026

Yeah. We know. It’s why Republicans got the shit kicked out of them on Tuesday. This “PSA” is tautological in its context. Lots of anti-MAGA voters would trade the 2026 outcome for a different one in 2024, and live in the timeline where Trump is in prison and Dems took a beating in the midterms. This is still terrible cope from the regime, composed and posted on taxpayer time.

Speaking to CBS’s Norah O’Donnell early Wednesday morning, dipshit podcaster Katie “Magda Goebbels” Miller straight up admitted she did not actually cast a ballot, saying “You see that moms are too busy raising their children and taking care of them to go to the polls,” adding she “did not vote in Virginia because in Virginia when you vote, you dox your own address, and so I prefer my own safety and security over giving that up,” per the Independent’s summary of the interview.

From Steve Deace, the Blaze wiener who warned a few weeks ago that the GOP was in for an utterly horrific night: “We fought harder for over ballrooms and the Kennedy Center than we did the Epstein list, we chose the stock market and data centers over Doge and debt reduction, and (the literal straw that broke the camel’s back) we made affordability worse with the very stupid Middle East foreign war we promised for a decade there would be no more of. Of course, this was all true going into this election as reflected by the polls (which were sadly right). However, I had hoped the level of unprecedented radicalization of the Democrats and their party’s unpopularity would counter the justifiable anger of the American people at least somewhat. Sadly, it did not. And when a state like mine, Iowa, is voting to make it virtually impossible to raise taxes by a wider margin then it voted for a tax raiser like Rob Sand for governor and to make a literal Satanic priestess my congresswoman (after overwhelmingly supporting Trump three times), then the message is clear as painful as it is.”