Binge-drinking date-rapist Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth appears to be against what they used to call “Papists,” as an email from the Pentagon chaplaincy inviting over 3,500 staff to a Good Friday service, obtained by the Huffington Post, reads verbatim: “Just a friendly reminder: There will be a Protestant Service (No Catholic Mass) for Good Friday today at the Pentagon Chapel.”

“I guess so the Catholics know their kind ain’t welcome. It’s so ridiculous,” said the employee who forwarded the email to the outlet, a message confirmed in a terse statement. “The Protestant service is the only service scheduled in the Pentagon chapel today,” said a spokes-minion.

There’s an asterisk here and it reveals that the source probably isn’t a practicing Catholic – or even a Catholic at all: “No Catholic Mass” is literally true in the sense that Good Friday is the one day of the year that no priest or parish anywhere will preside over a formal mass and minister communion, a tradition that dates back to as early as 600 AD. That however does NOT at all preclude the chapel from holding, at the very least, a less formal Catholic prayer service, if not the Stations of the Cross procession every “Papist” congregation holds on “Always Look on The Bright Side of Life” Day.

So yeah given Boozebreath’s constant invocations of Evangelical “warrior” shit it’s unlikely his fingerprints aren’t on this in some way or another. Nothing against him being a Prod but it’s kind of cunty of him to be all into the aesthetics of the Catholic Crusades with his fucking “Deus Vult” and Maltese cross-like tattoos but not actually respect those of the faith under his command.

Picture of a photograph from inside DOJ headquarters Friday sent to MS Now.

One of the two crew of the F-15 downed over Iran Friday was rescued by a special ops team sent by an unspecified branch of the US military, Newsmax reports. The search for the other continues.

“Burger King® has launched a nationwide hiring search, aiming to bring up to 60,000 new Team Members – from entry level roles to management positions – on board to rule its nearly 6,500 restaurants across the US. The push comes on the heels of one of the brand’s most transformative periods in years, marked by modernized restaurants, improved operations, and initiatives that put Guests at the forefront. These efforts are driving more Guests to BK restaurants across the country, driving an immediate need for people with a passion for friendliness and hospitality to serve them.”

“A job at a Burger King® restaurant can be a launchpad to a lifelong career. The brand has long been one of America’s largest employers in quick service, with millions of Americans having worn the uniform over the brand’s 70+ year history. Working at a Burger King® restaurant builds real, transferable skills, from customer service and communication to team leadership, problem-solving, and restaurant operations. What starts as a first job becomes the foundation for something much bigger – often leading to management positions and in some cases, Franchise ownership,” says a major multinational company in a stunning Friday announcement of success and growth in the Trump economy! Promises made, promises kept! Scream at the sky, libtards! JOBS JOBS JOBS!

ขณะนี้อยู่ในอิหร่าน pic.twitter.com/12c9nAVfxy

— Iran Embassy in Thailand ☫ (@IranInThailand) April 3, 2026

“Currently in Iran” says the caption translated from Thai script, humorously (at American expense) depicting what must be a very bad day for the two pilots of the downed F-15 – if they’re still alive.

“Today, the US Department of Homeland Security (DHS) announced that US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), in conjunction with the US Marshals Service (USMS), conducted a targeted operation in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, to arrest Salah Salem Sarsour, a criminal illegal alien from Jordan suspected of funding terror organizations and lying on immigration forms.”

“‘Salah Salem Sarsour is a terrorist convicted for throwing Molotov cocktails at the homes of Israeli armed forces. This illegal alien from Jordan lied on his green card application to gain legal status in the US,’ said Acting Assistant Secretary Lauren Bis. ‘Thanks to President Trump and ICE, this terrorist is out of American communities. This Administration will always put the safety of the American people FIRST and Make America Safe Again.’ Sarsour first submitted an application for an immigrant visa at the American Consulate in Jerusalem, which was denied due to his convictions in Israel for throwing a Molotov cocktail at the homes of Israeli armed forces and illegally attempting to possess weapons and ammunition. He ultimately entered the United States in 1993 – under the Clinton administration – as a conditional resident. After lying on his application, he became a green card holder in 1998 under President Clinton. This criminal and terrorist will remain in ICE custody pending removal proceedings,” says a Thursday ICE press release subheadlined “This ‘Palestinian community leader’ is a convicted criminal who LIED on his immigration forms,” verbatim.

Meaning the stuck the scare quotes to mock his status as a community leader. The release then snidely adds “This arrest is an example of what the media counts as a ‘non-criminal’ arrest because this terrorist lacks a criminal rap sheet in the US,” because someone’s deeply bitter.

Wonder how many people in his community voted for Trump – or otherwise didn’t cast a ballot for Kamala Harris – like so many of their fellow Muslims in Michigan did. Can’t be zero of them.

Photos posted on Iranian state media show the wreckage of an aircraft they claimed IRGC air defenses shot down, CNN reports adding that the photos show a partial logo for “US Air Forces in Europe” on a tail fin, the kind of shit that would be hard to fake without extensive inside knowledge.

🤐 From the latest episode of THE AXIOS SHOW:@JimVandeHei: What is your single biggest disappointment about President Trump?

JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon: I don't want to say here.

VandeHei: But doesn't that speak to the fear? pic.twitter.com/CqLcDT2feW

— Axios (@axios) April 3, 2026

“Vice President JD Vance is now in charge of ‘FRAUD’ in the United States. It is massive and pervasive, and the job he will be doing, in conjunction with many great people within the Trump Administration, will be a major factor in how great the future of our Country will be. We will call him the ‘FRAUD CZAR,’ and his focus will be ‘EVERYWHERE,’ but primarily in those Blue States where CROOKED DEMOCRAT POLITICIANS, like those in California, Illinois, Minnesota (Somalia beware!), Maine, New York, and many others, have had a ‘free for all’ in the unprecedented theft of Taxpayer Money. The numbers are so large that, if successful, we would literally be able to balance our American Budget. Raids have already started in LA. Good Luck JD!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday, giving the post-Faustian husk of a man exactly the kind of fluid and amorphous task his goalpost-moving and pettifoggery soft skills were meant for.

Should go great… That is until he’s reminded why the “Border Czar” and “COVID czar” shit cost both of his immediate predecessors and hobbled their own aspirations to become top dog. Not going to be very hard at all for Jaydee’s Dem opponent – if he even gets the 2028 nomination – to say “Hey you were the fraud czar so why’d you let this bullshit ‘faith-based organization’ in Arkansas loot $10 million so the pastor could lose it all on crypto investments?” And yeah, that’s made up but a real example of some Red State scam that JD let slide will reveal itself as sure as the sun rises.

The evident amphetamine-induced mania continued as Trump then posted “With a little more time, we can easily OPEN THE HORMUZ STRAIT, TAKE THE OIL, AND MAKE A FORTUNE. IT WOULD BE A ‘GUSHER’ FOR THE WORLD???” Hitler had good days like this too, even well into March 1945.

“Historic Funding Increases to Secure Peace Through Strength. The Budget builds upon the historic successes seen in FY 2026, which included leveraging both discretionary and mandatory appropriations to achieve a historic $1 trillion overall defense topline. For FY 2027, the Budget proposes $1.15 trillion in discretionary (28 percent increase) and $350 billion in mandatory bringing total resources for defense to $1.5 trillion (including a 44 percent increase for the Department of War (DOW)). This amount exceeds even the Reagan buildup by approaching the historic increases just prior to World War II, a level that recognizes the current global threat” and blah blah blah says the defense spending portion of the 2027 White House annual federal budget proposal, issued Friday.

“The Budget eliminates higher education programs for Native Hawaiians, which are another example of a discriminatory race-based program. DOJ issued an opinion that the race-based portions of this program are unconstitutional and inseverable from its surrounding statutory schemes so it must not be continued,” says another item in the section titled “Cuts to Woke Programs”, and the tip of the iceberg for overhyped “savings” equivalent to the cost of a single missile defense battery for the Qatari royal palace and other highly sensitive targets within range of Iranian drones and projectiles.

FAILING GRADE: Education advocates urge stronger national civics standards as new data highlights gaps in students’ understanding of American government ahead of a federal assessment update.

The latest "Nation's Report Card," released in 2022, found just 22% of eighth graders… pic.twitter.com/vTNXdua20n

— Fox News (@FoxNews) April 3, 2026

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime this week extradited to Chinese communist dictator Xi Jinping’s regime an ICE detainee, identified only by his surname Han, suspected by cops in of trafficking drugs, the Wall Street Journal reports without any further detail whatsoever.

Just that ICE agents acting on a tip arrested the guy and put him on a plane back home. The rest of the story’s about how this is a token of cooperation ahead of the two autocrats’ summit in Beijing next month. Nothing so much as a hint as to the evidence against the man, like if ICE found him with 50 lbs of fentanyl in the trunk of his car, if he’d been caught in a sting operation, or any hint as to his politics – if any. That information’s kind of important since, well, the guy’s 100 percent going to be executed and it would help to know what was used to make a determination that he should be sent to certain death in China. It would be pretty fucked up, to say the least, if Han’s not a drug smuggler but a Shen Yun choreographer whose “drug” is simply mesmerizing dance productions.

Not that Shen Yun are a paragon of human rights and decency but you get the point. This is fucking twisted that the Trump regime lets the Journal pick up the news instead of providing a full account to the public of how Han was arrested and what was the probable cause to execute a warrant on him, that Americans can feel at least confident enough that the guy’s a drug dealer, not a dissident.

In a landmark session signaling its commitment to moving past a turbulent period of military dictatorship and undergoing autocratic reform, Myanmar’s rump parliament on Friday approved the ascendancy of General Min Aung Hlaing from his role as supreme leader of the ruling junta into the presidency and affirmed him as supreme leader of a civilian personalist dictatorship, the AP reports.

The impressive display of nationalist unity saw Hliang winning a clear majority, taking 429 out of the 584 votes from a unicameral parliament comprised almost entirely lawmakers from military-backed parties and appointed members from the army hold commanding majorities. Plus it helped that Hliang’s only two opponents were also military-approved loyalists – close Hliang adviser former General Nyo Saw and pro-military Union Solidarity and Development Party ethnic Karen politician Nan Ni Ni Aye – both of whom were appointed as co-vice presidents to the new supreme ruler.

Dem California Congressman and gubernatorial candidate Eric Swalwell didn’t necessarily have to vouch for Pam Bondi here. There’s be zero consequences to trolling and saying “Damn right she did last week when I bumped into her at Sweetgreen,” but it’s equally hilarious how he debunks that deranged paranoid suspicion that reportedly led to convicted felon President Trump firing her.

Also worth noting is the echo of a largely under-the-radar episode, reported by Axios earlier this year but dating back to September, involving other psychotic Southern bleach blonde Marjorie Taylor Greene: He and his minions for some goddamned reason suspected her of having tipped off “Code Pink” libs who violated his safe space at some fancy restaurant in DC called Joe’s Seafood, simply because she had recommended it to him at some point beforehand when he asked her what places were good. Greene denied it and had insisted that she never knew if or when he would actually go there and, kind of more importantly, while things were already shaky between them, it was still weeks before everything well and truly went to shit and Marjorie called it quits in November.

Definitely some common threads there with the paranoia and baseless accusations, but also with both if it wasn’t stupid shit like that then it would’ve been something else eventually.

Drunken date rapist Pete Hegseth on Thursday asked for the resignation of Army Chief of Staff General Randy George to pack his shit and retire as CBS News reports Hegseth “wants someone in the role who will implement President Trump and Hegseth’s vision for the Army.”

Wonder if this is less about how the war is going and more about the suspension of the crews of the Apaches that flew by Kid Rock’s manions so he could salute them. Could totally see that.

Whoa. Seems like every time one checks in on these guys they’re sitting in a goddamned Arby’s parking lot thanking their supporters for donations or arguing with their navigator about which way to go. Now? Well, this Brandon Copic dude seems in the shit for real. Let’s go Brandon!

“On Sunday, March 29, 2026, at approximately 5:22 pm, patrol officers with the New Castle County Division of Police were dispatched to the unit block of Ravine Road in the Highland Woods neighborhood following a report of a possible human skull discovered along a creek in a wooded area. Preliminary observations indicated the remains appeared to be a human skull showing signs of prolonged environmental exposure. The State of Delaware Division of Forensic Science was contacted, and detectives from the Criminal Investigations Unit responded to assist with a coordinated search of the area. During the canvass, an additional bone of unknown origin was located. All recovered remains were turned over to the Delaware Division of Forensic Science for further testing and analysis,” says a Thursday alert from the New Castle, Delaware County Police.

Emphasis added on the part where they hedged on whether it’s definitely a human skull which, well, what the hell else could it be? Unless these guys are REALLY stupid then one would think that now that it’s five days later they had already established that it’s not a goddamned Halloween decoration or a medical school’s prop, that it is in fact skeletal in nature, which leaves them with the question of what kind of skeleton. Which isn’t really a question at all since a cursory consultation with one’s middle school-level education it turns out it’s pretty goddamned hard to mistake any other type of skull with that of a human being. This isn’t like, say, a vertebrae or a femur or some other indistinct mammalian bone a layperson is unlikely to be able to distinguish a human’s with that of a deer.

Even of the narrow possibility that it’s a simian skull that somehow ended up dumped in the woods in Delaware there’s just no way a homicide detective is going to mistake them. So MAYBE they could just ride the wind here and say it’s a human skull instead of looking so friggin stupid and feckless.

Reacting to not ever having to see Pam Bondi’s stupid face again, House Judiciary Ranking Dem Jamie Raskin on Thursday issued a statement saying “Today President Trump has sacked Attorney General Pam Bondi, ending a tenure that will be remembered as a profound betrayal not only of the DOJ but of the American people the Department exists to serve,” in the standard Raskinian affect.

“For the record, the Dow was under 50,000,” Raskin then added in a non-standard dunk on the assclown and her insistence during last month’s hearing that sex trafficking didn’t matter because on that day the stock market index had crossed that line. The Dow’s currently at 46,390.

After a lot of reporting from different outlets this morning saying scumbag Attorney General Pam Bondi is still on the job but about to be officially fired, maybe, convicted felon President Trump could walk it back, you never know, Fox News now reports that she was indeed canned Wednesday night and is already back home in Florida. Later, the White House coorespondenepo hire Peter Doocy reported on air that Trump himself confirmed it to him and that Todd Blanche will take over for now.

Coming in hot with yet another solid get amid a week full of them – and yet still a trashy British rag with a website that makes RawStory’s look like a Kindle Paperwhite – the Daily Mail earlier reported that the final straw was Trump believing that Bondi had somehow tipped off California Congressman and Dem gubernatorial candidate Eric Swalwell on the investigation into him sexing up an alleged Chinese spy like how many goddamned years ago. It was definitely before a Chinese spy and massage parlor sex trafficker/pimp friend of Bob Kraft’s got her pic taken with Trump at Mar-a-Lago.

Anyway, the Mail reports Bondi “begged” to stay on long but the Orange God Emperor had made up his mind, and later affirming it on Truth Social, posting “Pam Bondi is a Great American Patriot and a loyal friend, who faithfully served as my Attorney General over the past year. Pam did a tremendous job overseeing a massive crackdown in Crime across our Country, with Murders plummeting to their lowest level since 1900. We love Pam, and she will be transitioning to a much needed and important new job in the private sector, to be announced at a date in the near future, and our Deputy Attorney General, and a very talented and respected Legal Mind, Todd Blanche, will step in to serve as Acting Attorney General.” So she’s out out. Not out but with some bullshit “exit ramp” job like Noem. Out.

Republican Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson, who’s basically a goth but dresses like the father-in-law your spouse never directly defends during the blow-up that ensues when you slip up and say out loud that family gatherings will be much less awkward after he finally dies, was typically dark and morose Thursday. Even Johnson couldn’t pretend that convicted felon president Trump’s birthright citizenship ban would survive at the Supreme Court. What’s interesting is that which RonAnon doesn’t do here and well, you know, make even the slightest nod to the reality that he actually has agency in this and could work on a real bipartisan solution to what he presents as an existential threat to miserable, deeply entitled, boomer-aged caucasian fathers-in-law everywhere.

The word “compromise” loses its dual meaning in such Republican-coded contexts: That to come to a bipartisan solution is no different than fatally undermining the ramparts of the medieval fortress that is a white nationalist revanchist party like the congressional GOP. To exchange concessions with Democrats, like an overhaul of the utterly bricked legal immigration system to acquire win on priorities such as restricting the Chinese birth tourism industry that creates some voters 18 years later – when Ron’s hopefully already long dead after driving a jet ski into a bridge pylon – is the same as an unconditional surrender. Thing is he’s too chickenshit to just come out and say that to the Fox News audience, so he retreats to complaining that the Supreme Court won’t just do his job for him and are effectively responsible for “destroying this country” by creating “millions of voters who will obviously not be voting in the best interests of America.” It’s that Neil Gorsuch libtard’s fault.