Your eyes deceive you not. That is a real Newsmax clip from Tuesday. It’s there because the thumbnail is funnier than the screenshot of a headline of a Fox News article from Monday, September 28th of this year, 2026 that was in that spot in an earlier draft of this piece.

“USBP is closely engaged with its international partners to monitor their movement and additional developments,” the state told state media (Fox, not Newsmax in this particular quote). “USBP reminds migrants that under the leadership of President Trump and Homeland Secretary Mullin, the border has remained closed and secured for the last 16 months.” Fox News then fills in the most important details to the audience with “The caravan, numbering in the hundreds as of Monday, is predominantly made up of Hondurans, Guatemalans, Salvadorans, Ecuadoreans and Haitians.”

That fucking Newsmax “ELECTION SEASON CARAVAN” though. It’s right there. You don’t even need to click play and watch the video, they said it right up front, KNOWING full well that few if any of their goldfish-brained actual fans are going to stop and think “Hey, wait a second… Why DO these caravans full of brown people suddenly start coming toward the border every ‘election season’?”

The Justice Department’s Office of the Inspector General quietly declined to open an investigation into Attorney General Todd Blanche over the fucking blatant conflict of interest involved with him shutting down investigations into crypto scam companies while owning Bitcoin and Ethereum, the Washington Sun reports on the kind of shit that used to be a fireable offense.

Her career in politics and “public service” over, former DHS Secretary Kristi Noem on Tuesday decided there was no point in not even actually pretending and filed for divorce from her sick weirdo husband Byron, ABC News reports without speculating on how long it’ll take for Corey Lewandowski to dump her since being with her is no longer as much fun now that she’s “officially” single again.

In audio obtained by the New York Times, Picasso-faced Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton last week privately told a group of donors and lobbyists that convicted felon President Trump’s ill-conceived midterms convention earlier this month had damaged his campaign. “So to be honest with you, the numbers – when we did that convention – it dropped our numbers. Everybody’s numbers dropped. Right now, yeah, not good,” Paxton said at the event.

Paxton “may not be the best-looking guy I’ve ever seen,” Trump had said on the stage, “but you know what, he is – he’s the greatest attorney general in America.”

Say what you will about James Comer and Jim Jordan – this site has said plenty. Yet for all the many times that they made themselves look like absolute stupid assholes, even the clearest instances of their incompetence very rarely ever unfolded in real time, on live television, self-immolated the way pockmarked fascist white nationalist Missouri MAGA Senator Eric Schmitt did on Tuesday.

In all fairness, expectations are always pretty low when Comer and Jordan take their perches in the hearing room and start hammering their latest stupid bullshit conspiracy theory, making it fair to say Schmitt’s utterly embarrassing fuckup was actually worse since, until Tuesday, he had managed to project an image of estimable sophistication and competence compared to Gymbo and Fuckwheat.

Caleb Flynn, the former Evangelical pastor who Fox News opted to identify as a former American Idol contestant when he was arrested in February for shooting his wife Ashley in the head twice while she slept, was found guilty Tuesday on a single count of aggravated murder, Fox News reports. Flynn’s mistress read a significant number of the 107,000+ text messages exchanged between them during the eight-day trial, texts in which Caleb referred to Ashley as “douche.”

“Five weeks until Election Day, 51 percent of voters would want to see the Democratic Party win control of the US House of Representatives, while 39 percent would want to see the Republican Party win control of the House, with 9 percent not offering an opinion, according to a Quinnipiac University national poll among registered voters released today,” says the QU polling institute.

“Thirty-four percent of voters approve of the way Donald Trump is handling his job as president, while 61 percent disapprove. This matches an all-time high disapproval that was last reached in Quinnipiac University’s January 18, 2021 poll, when 34 percent of voters approved of the way Trump was handling his job and 61 percent disapproved… The approval of Trump’s handling of the economy (31 percent) is at an all-time low for both terms. His previous low was in Quinnipiac’s September 10 poll, when 32 percent approved, 65 percent disapproved, and 3 percent did not offer an opinion.”

Just going to leave out the context because it’s true.

“Today, the Justice Department announced charges and guilty pleas involving 12 individuals, including three illegal aliens, in connection with illegal voting, fraudulent voter registration, and related election crimes across the country. The cases include voting by aliens in federal elections, false claims of US citizenship to register or vote, false statements on citizenship applications, and the alleged disposal of approximately 300 mail-in ballots by a former postal carrier,” says a Monday Justice Department press release that conveniently omits the registered parties of all twelve.

“Christiane Vinette Young, 75, an illegal alien from Canada, was charged by information with three counts of voting by an alien. Young voted in three federal elections – the 2024 general election, 2022 general election, and 2022 primary – despite knowing that she was not a citizen of the United States,” and yes, VoterRecords.com says that Young had registered as a Republican.

She’s the only one of the twleve whose registration could actually be found on the site.

This site tries not to go too hard on Palmer Report-level lib hopium so imagine the headline contains an asterisk marking the former Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith’s title “aspirational.” It’d also be perfectly fine if Smith went back to the Hague and finally got to put convicted felon President Trump on trial then… Or was just reappointed special counsel and resumed his January 6th prosecution in 2029. That’s on the table too as the case was dismissed without prejudice.

A new Marist College survey of likely voters in Ohio finds Dem former Senator Sherrod Brown leading feckless incumbent Republican Jon Husted 51 to 43 percent while Dem Amy Acton leads billionaire tech bro Vivek “Da Vek” Ramaswamy 50 to 42 percent. “A plurality of Ohio voters (41 percent) say their congressional vote is mainly a vote against President Trump. 25 percent say it is a vote for the president, and 33 percent report Trump is not much of a factor when considering their vote. Of those Ohio voters who say the president is not influencing their vote, a majority approve of how Trump is doing his job,” Marist writes of how things are going in the Buckeye State.

A Republican donor tells Politico that convicted felon President Trump’s campaign travel schedule including stops in Alabama, Oklahoma, and Ohio this week is the darkest sign possible for the party’s midterm outlook. “The problem is that the fires are everywhere right now,” the anonymous scumbag said.

The Orange God Emperor is attempting to salvage Iowa Republicans’ chances by announcing that he’s getting some company to build a steel mill that will open in like two or three years. That’ll totally turn things around with struggling soybean farmers getting effed by $6.30/gallon diesel after getting effed by his trade war.

If Democrats get control, they’ll stop at nothing to go after President Trump and make America communist. pic.twitter.com/267QRPNc2c

— House Judiciary GOP 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 (@JudiciaryGOP) September 28, 2026

Deputy FBI Director Andrew Bailey – the dipshit former Missouri Attorney General whose claim to fame before joining the Bureau was unsuccessfully suing Starbucks over an alleged decline in service quality because they were hiring too many women and racial minorities – is leaving the job just over a year after he was appointed to the completely made-up role of “co-deputy director” as a pre-replacement for then-soon-to-be-exiting Dan Bongino, MS Now’s Ken Dilanian reports.

Per Dilanian, Bailey had been charged with overseeing “election related matters,” but is giving up after being “annoyed” over how K$H handled the demotions of two top counterterrorism agents who refused to take seriously the insistence that some harassing phone calls made to Reichsminister Stephen Miller’s wife Katie counted as terrorism. The fact that Bailey – who in 2024 unsuccessfully sued the State of New York at the US Supreme Court for interfering in the election because the judge imposed a gag order on the Orange God Emperor during his trial (Bailey sued after Trump had already been convicted) – is the one who thinks K$H is too incompetent and reckless says it all.

Fox News reporter Bill Melugin posted early Monday that he’s “spoken on the phone with President Trump and nine ICE and DHS sources about” the Daily Wire’s report on ICE agents being ordered to stop arresting non-criminals ahead of the midterms, confirming that the “verbal guidance did go out to ICE offices across the country last night. I’ve spoken with ICE agents who received it and were shocked and frustrated by it. It’s unclear who it started with. However, I’m told it’s erroneous, was some type of ‘miscommunication’ during conversations about prioritizing ‘worst first’, and there is no change in immigration enforcement policy. President Trump tells me anyone in the country illegally remains ‘on the table’ for ICE arrest and deportation. I’m also told new guidance went out to ICE field offices tonight to reaffirm this and that yes, arrests of illegal aliens and ‘collaterals’ without additional criminal history will continue. ICE sources confirm to me they received the new guidance.”

“I’m not really sure what happened here – but everyone is on the same page, including President Trump, in telling me that his immigration enforcement agenda isn’t scaling back,” Melugin continued with the obvious damage control move to try to wink wink at MAGAmerica. Trump may be making the their lives miserable with high gas prices, farm bankruptcies, and everything else going to shit but they can deal with it as long as they believe immigrants’ lives are made even worse.

Just forget, for example, shit like when Jesse Watters straight up admitted that ICE had pulled back from Maine to help make sure Susan Collins – who voted to convict Trump in 2021 – wins reelection.

You pay taxes to cover welfare for people who just choose not to work. That’s why I launched a welfare-to-work requirement.

If you’re young, healthy, and get government assistance, you should work, go to school, or volunteer. pic.twitter.com/M83nxNMdry

— Sarah Huckabee Sanders (@SarahHuckabee) September 28, 2026

You can kind of tell Arkansas Governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders isn’t really all that practiced at this whole campaigning thing, given the low energy and uninspired nature of her ad depicting the already obsolete kayfabe of a “Medicaid gamer” who finally puts the controller down and gets a job at some place where the dress code is a tie and oxford shirt from the Kohl’s clearance bin.

That’s the “accomplishment” she’s marketing to Razorback State voters as she runs for reelection and it’s probably indicative of something that she’s even turning out this dogshit effort at all. Who’s even running against her on the Democratic ticket? Is there even a Dem running against her at all?

“Cr0ss1Ng TeH b0rD3r wiHtOuT aUtH0RiZaTun iZ a CrIMe!!!1!!” the Stephen Miller and his fanboys will say – and the fanboys said it plenty in the comments under this week’s big “EXCLUSIVE” Daily Wire report headlined “ICE Officers Say They Were Told To Stop Arresting Non-Criminals.”

And yes, you guessed why. “We believe it has something to do with the midterms coming up,” one ICE source told Ben Shaprio’s lame right wing site. “They’re trying to calm things down before the elections,” adding “I hope Trump finds out about this shit and puts an end to it,” lol.

FBI officials on Saturday told employees that a vulnerability in the Bureau’s FBIJobs.gov portal – the one where beastiality is no longer a dealbreaker – allowed for parties unknown to expose personally identifiable information of FBI personnel, including social security numbers, addresses, and job titles, per MSNow’s Ken Dilanian, who cited an internal memo in a 7:38 PM Saturday night tweet.

Just under five hours earlier Dilanian also shared an article he wrote about two top counterterrorism supervising agents who were demoted for disagreeing with K$H over whether a series of harassing phone calls to mediocre right wing podcaster Katie Miller actually merited a “terrorism” investigation.

“Harassing phone calls aren’t even in the ballpark of terrorism unless an actual terrorist is doing the dialing,” said a former FBI agent who was briefed on the matter by sources relevant to the demotion.

“Pete Buttigieg was more concerned with DEI policies than freight rail safety, so he should resign immediately,” was the line three years ago from the MAGA propaganda-industrial complex and thus the same standard should be applied to K$H Patel given where his priorities lie.

There’s simply too much material to work with these days – and too much overlap between all the material. Terabytes of articles and posts and that ridiculous Axios graphic screenshotted above, the flashing klaxon directed right at their GOP-donating readers. It’s at least third such deployment of the Sarah Grillo work by the bullet point factory since its November 25th, 2025 debut on “Behind the Curtain: Red alert” by founders Jim VandeHei and Mike Allen in which the ultra-connected power couple wrote “Everywhere Republicans look, they see big political trouble,” in their lede underneath.

Yet it’s the same image. Shouldn’t it become brighter or fiery or just animated now that the Republican Party’s political situation is considerably worse than it was late last year?