A US citizen in the Democratic Republic of the Congo tested positive for the Ebola virus, CDC officials confirmed on Monday, per USA Today. The unnamed American, said to be a healthcare worker helping to deal with a recent outbreak, was supposedly evacuated to Germany for treatment but who the hell knows what’s actually going on with this crew of morons in charge of public health.

“I have been asked by the Emir of Qatar, Tamim bin Hamad Al Thani, the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia, Mohammed bin Salman Al Saud, and the President of the United Arab Emirates, Mohamed bin Zayed Al Nahyan, to hold off on our planned Military attack of the Islamic Republic of Iran, which was scheduled for tomorrow, in that serious negotiations are now taking place, and that, in their opinion, as Great Leaders and Allies, a Deal will be made, which will be very acceptable to the United States of America, as well as all Countries in the Middle East, and beyond.”

“This Deal will include, importantly, NO NUCLEAR WEAPONS FOR IRAN! Based on my respect for the above mentioned Leaders, I have instructed Secretary of War, Pete Hegseth, The Chairman of The Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Daniel Caine, and The United States Military, that we will NOT be doing the scheduled attack of Iran tomorrow, but have further instructed them to be prepared to go forward with a full, large scale assault of Iran, on a moment’s notice, in the event that an acceptable Deal is not reached,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday afternoon.

Wonder how much of that actually happened and whether anyone proofread it first to see if maybe saying he had “respect” for those unelected tyrants sounds like he’s announcing he’s their bitch.

Evacuation underway in Simi Valley, California as a brush fire begins to spread… pic.twitter.com/GukMAgSoJG

— Benny Johnson (@bennyjohnson) May 18, 2026

Hennepin County, Minnesota DA Mary Moriarty on Monday announced her office had brought charges against ICE stormtrooper Christian Castro with four counts of second-degree assault and one count of falsely reporting a crime in the January 14th shooting of Venezuelan migrant Julio Cesar Sosa-Celis in Minneapolis, the AP reports. Hopefully Sosa-Celis heard about the $1.776 billion weaponization fund, sounds like he’d be a prime candidate for restitution.

“The US Department of Justice today announced that as a part of the settlement agreement in President Donald J Trump v Internal Revenue Service, the Attorney General established ‘The Anti-Weaponization Fund’ to provide a systematic process to hear and redress claims of others who suffered weaponization and lawfare,” says the Justice Department in a real press release.

“The plaintiffs in the case, President Donald J Trump, Donald J Trump, Jr, Eric Trump, and the Trump Organization, LLC, filed suit against the Treasury and IRS in Southern District of Florida federal court following the leak of their tax returns. Per the settlement, plaintiffs will receive a formal apology but no monetary payment or damages of any kind. They have agreed, in exchange for the creation of this fund, to drop their pending lawsuit with prejudice, and also withdraw two administrative claims including for damages resulting from the unlawful raid of Mar-a-Lago and the Russia-collusion hoax.”

“‘The machinery of government should never be weaponized against any American, and it is this Department’s intention to make right the wrongs that were previously done while ensuring this never happens again,’ said Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche. ‘As part of this settlement, we are setting up a lawful process for victims of lawfare and weaponization to be heard and seek redress.'”

“If Iran surrenders, admits their Navy is gone and resting at the bottom of the sea, and their Air Force is no longer with us, and if their entire Military walks out of Tehran, weapons dropped and hands held high, each shouting ‘I surrender, I surrender’ while wildly waving the representative White Flag, and if their entire remaining Leadership signs all necessary ‘Documents of Surrender,’ and admit their defeat to the great power and force of the magnificent USA, The Failing New York Times, The China Street Journal (WSJ!), Corrupt and now Irrelevant CNN, and all other members of the Fake News Media, will headline that Iran had a Masterful and Brilliant Victory over The United States of America, it wasn’t even close. The Dumacrats and Media have totally lost their way. They have gone absolutely CRAZY!!!” posted the President of the United States on Monday, using his signature, unconventional messaging style to lob rhetorical grenades at the mainstream media’s Iran coverage.

Ahem. The fat bastard’s whole counterfactual sketch here is actually a useful framework that can be applied to other grievances more within his control, such as his physical and mental health. For example, last month Philippines President Ferdinand “BongBong” Marcos decided to address questions about his situation by simply doing jumping jacks and jogging in place in full view of reporters. Trump could do the same – or at least try. On the mental side, same thing. Why not just take the fucking cognitive test on live television on a special game show-like set with Ilhan Omar, AOC, Hakeem Jeffries and everyone else he’s called “low IQ”? If he wins, then the “Failing New York Times, The China Street Journal (WSJ!), Corrupt and now Irrelevant CNN, and all other members of the Fake News Media” will be forced to report on his stunning victory over his adversaries.

Some advisers close to President Donald Trump are increasingly concerned that last week's summit with Chinese President Xi Jinping could embolden Beijing to move against Taiwan within the next five years. https://t.co/XgfgUC3sbw

— NEWSMAX (@NEWSMAX) May 18, 2026

A new New York Times/Siena College national survey finds Democrats leading Republicans 50 to 49 percent on the generic congressional ballot, a number exceeded in its ugliness for the MAGA party by convicted felon President Trump’s second-term low job approval rating of 37 percent.

“Dry and windy conditions will produce dangerous fire weather conditions across the southern High Plains into the Southwest. Severe storms, including very large hail, strong tornadoes, and winds, are expected from the Great Lakes into the central/southern Plains. Heavy late-season snow and cold temperatures are expected in the northern to central Rockies. Heat is spreading across the eastern US,” say the toplines to a National Weather Service advisory bulletin issued Monday.

Convicted felon President Trump’s overall job approval rating is now at 37 percent to 63 percent disapprove in this month’s CBS News/YouGov national survey, the lowest of his second term and propped up really only by an 85 to 15 percent approve/disapprove among self-identified Republican respondents. His approval on handling inflation, as in the very thing that got him elected again back in 2024, is down to 27 percent and only at 63 percent among GOP respondents.

Republican Louisiana Senator Bill Cassidy’s career came to an end on Saturday night as the Trump-endorsed Congresswoman Julia Letlow and state Treasurer John Fleming boxed the unfortunate Quisling out of the runoff in a three-way primary, National Zero projects based on current returns.

“Is anyone interested in running against Weak Minded Lauren Boebert in Colorado’s Fourth Congressional District? You remember Lauren moved to the District when it became obvious that she couldn’t win in her original Congressional District (The Third!) — A Carpetbagger, indeed! Boebert is campaigning for the Worst ‘Republican’ Congressman in the History of our Country, Thomas Massie, of the Great Commonwealth of Kentucky, and anybody who can be that dumb deserves a good Primary fight! Even though I long ago endorsed Boebert, if the right person came along, it would be my Honor to withdraw that Endorsement, and endorse a good and proper alternative. Just let me know, or announce your Candidacy, and I will be there for you!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Saturday

A mission to recover the dead bodies of four Italians who drowned in an underwater cave off the Maldives ended in death for a diver from the small Indian Ocean archipelago nation’s military on Saturday, the AP reports with details that will probably just kind of piss you off even more.

The death toll is actually now six as the body of one of the five Italians, diving instructor Gianluca Benedetti, was recovered near the entrance of the cave on Friday. The other four were , University of Genoa ecology Professor Monica Montefalcone and her daughter Giorgia Sommacal, marine biologist Federico Gualtieri, and researcher Muriel Oddenino. Montefalcone and Oddenio were conducting climate change research in the Maldives and had contracted with a tour operator running a larger diving excursion. However the deadly dive to a cave 160 ft below the surface near the Vaavu Atoll was neither okayed with the tour operator nor part of the research itinerary.

Italian-based Albatros Top Boat said any dive of more than about 100 ft requires special permission from the Maldivian government and they wouldn’t have even bothered trying to file the paperwork if the five had asked, especially into a fucking cave at that depth. Yet they went on their own, letting the ocean have the last word, not even having the courtesy to email someone, anyone first just to say please don’t risk anyone else’s life trying to recover the fish food we leave behind.

“Senator Bill Cassidy of Louisiana is a disloyal disaster. His entire past campaign for the Senate was about ‘TRUMP,’ how he’s with me all the way, and then, after winning, he turned around and voted to IMPEACH me for something that has now proven to be total ‘bullshit!’ He knew that at the time, but didn’t care. Bill Cassidy is a sleazebag, a terrible guy, who is BAD FOR LOUISIANA. Now he’s going to get CLOBBERED, hopefully, in today’s BIG election, by two great people!! VOTE TODAY FOR JULIA L.”

“She Is a winner who will NEVER let you down. I LOVE LOUISIANA, won it all three times, and got the most votes in its history, by far (A record!!!), despite its big time and ‘storied,’ political past. THE ELECTION IS TODAY – please get out and VOTE!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Saturday as Cassidy faces his ignominious end for having accidentally done the right thing once back in 2021 before returning to the dark side four years later. Cassidy is probably – though not 100 percent definitely – screwed. Letlow’s kind of a douchebag artificially propped up by fat Donald and, as Trump mentioned with the “two great people,” it’s a three-way election so there’s a path where the MAGA vote gets split between Letlow and state Treasurer John Fleming… which then leads to a June 27 runoff if none of them gets a majority. That might be considerably tougher for Cassidy.

Also note the fat fucking idiot confusing “voted to IMPEACH” with what Cassidy actually did, which was vote to convict Trump at the Senate trial. The House votes on articles of impeachment.

The bloated caesar was unmoved by the suffering of his people under the gas price spike that his moronic and feckless actions in attacking Iran but not finishing the job caused.

The US Supreme Court on Friday did Republicans another solid on the gerrymandering wars and turned away Virginia Dems’ bid to have Los Supremos overrule the state Supreme Court.

So yeah it’s over… For this year. As previously stated here the GOP may have weaseled their way out of any consequences in the Old Dominion State this year, but next year will be different since the Dem-majority state legislature picks a replacement for one of the MAGA justices in January.

For some unfathomable fucking reason that will not even be linked here, not even the upstream source because doing so would potentially dignify the rationale, Dem Colorado Governor Jared “Pussy” Polis tells said outlet that he is commuting the sentence of notorious MAGA scumbag Tina Peters and she will be released soon. What a fucking worm, capitulating to Trump like that.

US cyber officials tell CNN that they suspect Iranian hackers have breached into systems that monitor the amount of fuel in storage tanks serving gas stations in multiple states, opening the door to (further) messing with the supply chains and potentially compromising safety as false readings on the gauges could also allow a gas leak to go undetected, though that relies on an actual leak.

Still, you’d think for a crew that screamed until their vocal chords were ragged and dry over a malfunctioning Chinese balloon three years ago that such a hack would be a pretty big deal.