Responding Monday to former President Barack Obama’s legitimately pretty funny line about how convicted felon President Trump has “got White House looking like Saddam Hussein opened a Cheesecake Factory,” Trump was pissed, ranting “He’s not a smart guy. He’s not smart at all… for you to say it’s a Cheesecake Factory, that just shows why you were a lousy president.”

Note how Trump skipped the Saddam Hussein part of the burn. Probably took it as a compliment.

“On or about October 5, 2016, in the District of Columbia and elsewhere, the defendant, JAMES BRIEN COMEY, JR, while lawfully possessing, accessing, controlling, and being entrusted with any document, writing, code book, signal book, sketch, photograph, photographic negative, blueprint, plan, map, model, instrument, appliance, and note relating to the national defense, and information relating to the national defense and having reason to believe such information could be used to injure the United States and to the advantage of any foreign nation-knowingly and willfully communicated, delivered, transmitted, and caused that information to be communicated, delivered, and transmitted to a person not entitled to receive it, all in violation of 18 USC § 793(d),” says a new criminal complaint against the former FBI Director and God knows what the hell actually happened.

The complaint’s only three pages long and of course the timing is suspect.

“Anybody reporting Voter Fraud in the past Elections, or the upcoming 2026 Midterm Election, will be paid $1,000,000 upon the arrest and conviction of those that created the Fraud!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday, where these promised $1 million payouts are supposed to come from left unclear, except for the certainty that he won’t be the one actually paying it.

A New York federal judge on Monday stuck it to convicted felon President Trump’s regime and ordered former Assistant US Attorney Maurene Comey reinstated to the job, finding that the daughter of the former FBI Director’s “removal was not authorized by any statute; to the contrary, it violated the [Civil Service Reform Act]. Yes, the Attorney General is authorized by law to remove an AUSA. But the Attorney General (and anyone to whom the Attorney General delegates that authority) is also limited by law, namely the CSRA, to do so only in a particular manner and only for certain reasons. And Comey’s removal indisputably violated the CSRA. Second, Defendants’ argument that Article II bars Congress from regulating the removal of AUSAs flies in the face of nearly two centuries of Supreme Court precedent, rooted in the text of the Appointments Clause, holding that Congress may generally restrict the removal of ‘inferior officers.’ Defendants’ contention that recent Supreme Court decisions have fatally undermined that precedent is not one that this Court, as a lower court, may accept. It is also without merit. Indeed, to accept Defendants’ argument would be to unsettle the very equilibrium established by this Nation’s constitutional system.”

Judge Jesse Furman also awarded Comey back pay owed since her July 2025 firing from the post.

“They’ve attacked me. They’ve defamed my mother to media silence. It’s unbelievable. And yet at the same time, they’ll trot out anything to attack a Republican. We’re standing for truth. And so the irony is, they’re lying about an ad that was about her lying,” said Republican Ohio gubernatorial nominee Vivek Ramaswamy on Monday as he quintupled down on the destructive ad.

President Trump’s historic second administration has reached an incredible new milestone: The average national price of a gallon of gas over the past 644 days since January 20, 2025 has eclipsed the $3.46/gallon average from January 20, 2021 through January 20, 2025, CNN reports.

“It’s a major reversal of the return to sub-$2 gas that Trump promised in the summer of 2024 as he successfully convinced voters to return him to the White House,” the network writes with typical mainstream media-style understatement of the fat fuck’s lies and demagoguery.

Brazilian President Luiz Lula defeated fascist challenger Flavio Bolsonaro in Sunday’s hotly contested election. dooming Flavio’s father to at least another four years in the joint.

“FoxNews is spending far too much time putting on the OPPONENTS of Republican Party Candidates, people that love our Country, and have Great Policies and Ideas. These American Patriots are being absolutely ‘blurred out’ by the Media, and Fox is doing little to help. That’s the only reason this Race is close, if it is indeed close,” proclaimed the Great Leader on Sunday, eviscerating the languorous and perfidious elements that remain embedded like parasitic vermin within the editorial corps of state media.

Switching things up, convicted felon President Trump voted in person in Palm Beach, Florida on Saturday, casting a ballot at an early voting precinct instead of hypocritically voting by mail like he usual does. Trump then ranted at reporters for several minutes at the polling location.

Well look, it’s not like Republican Iowa Lt Gov nominee Derek Wulf lives in his parents’ garage and he owes them like $600 in back rent. So it’s not that level of embarrassing and the last thing the vast cornfield state party needs in.what’s already a rough year. In a lot of ways it’s considerably worse, because Wulf portrays himself as a successful farmer while creditors, his parents included, are pursuing him for well over $1 million in unpaid debts, the Des Moines Register reports.

In a complaint filed Tuesday, Duane and Jackie Wulf allege their son owes them $275,000 in rent unpaid since 2024, monthly does owed for both land and cows they own. The Wulfs say their son misrepresented his assets, which screwed them over in their struggles to avoid bankruptcy. Which is weird because farmers weren’t supposed to be going bankrupt anymore now that the farm president is back in office. In all eight creditors have pursued Derek since 2023, who settled five of the suits before increasingly screwed gubernatorial nominee Zach Lahn picked Derek as his running mate.

And then two more when some unidentified party loaned him $540,000 after Lahn picked him.

Wonder why they didn’t want to be identified and what the terms are if he and Lahn lose. Still active is a lawsuit by local lender WCF Financial, who also seem to have sicced a sheriff on Wulf for having “allegedly disposed of livestock for which the bank held a security interest,” the Register writes, adding “Campaign spokespeople previously said Lahn did not know about the criminal investigation at the time of Wulf’s June 12 selection as his running mate. Since then Lahn has questioned the veracity of the investigation by the office of Sheriff Nathan Neff, a Democrat.” Lol.

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime on Friday sued preemptively to block former Congresswoman Mary Peltola from taking office if she defeats incumbent Republican Dan Sullivan, because of the other Dan Sullivan on the ballot, CNN reports on more of the usual pussy-ass-bitchery from these pussy ass bitches. “Given the substantial likelihood that the inclusion of Daniel J Sullivan will confuse or mislead voters looking to cast a vote for Senator Sullivan, and thus distort the will of Alaskan voters, there is a substantial likelihood that a certification of the election will reflect an electoral process that lacked integrity,” wrote the Orange God Emperor’s minions.

“This affidavit concerns materially false statements made by Nikki FLORIS and Bradley BENAVIDES to the us House of Representatives Committee on the Judiciary in connection with an authorized Congressional investigation into, among other things, the Foreign Influence Task Force’s (FITF’s) involvement in the FBI’s various investigations into the then-President’s son, Hunter Biden. During the Committee’s investigation, Congressional investigators sought information concerning FLORIS’s and BENAVIDES’s knowledge of and involvement in the investigations into Hunter Biden. On July 19, 2023, FLORIS, and on September 28, 2023, BENAVIDES, knowingly and willfully provided materially false information about their awareness of and involvement in the FBI’s investigations into Hunter Biden. As detailed below, those statements were contradicted by documentary evidence, communications, and witness accounts and concerned matters directly relevant to the congressional investigation,” says the intro to the Trump Regime’s huge October surprise, an indictment of two FBI officials over Hunterghazi.

“The evidence further establishes probable cause to believe that FLORIS and BENAVIDES made these statements for the purpose of concealing FITF’s engagement with and communications about the Hunter Biden investigations and impeding the congressional
investigation. Accordingly, there is probable cause to believe that FLORIS and BENAVIDES violated 18 USC § 1001(a)(2), by knowingly and willfully making materially false statements in a matter within the jurisdiction of the legislative branch.”

“If voters replace Collins with Jackson, they will be trading one of the most powerful members of the Senate – the chair of the Appropriations Committee, which approves every penny of discretionary spending Congress passes – for one of the least powerful. How many Maine voters, I wonder, understand what that trade could cost them?” writes soft-chinned Washington Post conservative diversity hire Marc Thiessen in an op-ed begging Mainers to keep the scumbag in office.

You know this probably isn’t what Republicans want their President to be talking about with 12 days to go before a Midterm. They might even anonymously tell Axios that and very soon.

“Vivek Ramaswamy put up a very powerful Ad about a mother saying that her daughter, Amy Acton, who is running for Governor of Ohio, is a liar, and much worse. The Press, in a concerted and well coordinated attack, is trying to get Vivek Ramaswamy to ‘take down the Ad.’ Frankly, anybody whose mother spoke about a daughter in that way would normally lead to the daughter being precluded from serving in Office, let alone the Office of Governor. If my mother, the legendary Mary MacLeod Trump, said anything bad about me, the Fake News would play it up,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Thursday and just gotta stop him there because his mother’s dead. Other relatives had plenty to say about his conduct in the 1970s… And in the Oval Office.

Continued: “The Dumocrats would be totally supportive, and it would go down as the Ad of the Decade — Maybe the Century! It would win Awards for Excellence in Advertising. But, because Vivek, who will be a GREAT Governor, put it out, the “Artificial” News has teamed up against him in order to damage, demean, and embarrass a Republican who is leading in the Polls. Our RINO Governor of Ohio, Mike DeWine, who I unfortunately helped get elected years ago, when he was losing by 16 points prior to my doing a Rally for him was, as usual, disloyal to the Republican Party. He strongly suggested that Vivek should, ‘take down the Ad.’ He probably wants a Dumocrat to win, and certainly doesn’t want someone who will do a much better job than he is capable of doing. I suggested, on the other hand, that Vivek should keep it up, and let everyone listen to the mother of a defective, dishonest, and incapable Candidate, explain how the daughter is a DISASTER who, uncontrollably, lies, cheats, and steals! I only wish the mothers of my opponents would be so brave as to come forward and explain that their son or daughter is a liar, and much worse. That took a lot of courage to do but, essentially, what she was really doing was saving Ohio from making a truly horrible choice! The Press is trying to convince everyone that this Ad is bad, because it’s so good!”

“Who wouldn’t use such an Ad? I would, it’s called, ‘hitting pay dirt.’ The fact is, Lyin’ Amy Acton, who I’ve never even heard of before, has been lying about Vivek for the entire Campaign. I know the real Vivek, he is a brilliant and outstanding person who will cut Taxes, stop Crime and, MAKE OHIO GREAT AGAIN. He will be a fantastic Governor!” Trump finally concluded, likely prompting Jon Husted to at least briefly contemplate jumping in the bathtub with a plugged-in hair dryer.

“As gas prices climb amid the conflict with Iran, some of President Donald Trump’s most loyal supporters say they’re willing to pay more at the pump if it means keeping Tehran from obtaining a nuclear weapon — even with the midterm elections just two weeks away,” Fox News reports, excitedly notifying readers that they were able to find “some” Trump rally attendees whom would willingly suborn their personal comfort to combat the theoretical threat of an Iranian nuclear attack.

“If you’re really a good American, you’ll be thinking not for yourself or how much you’re spending for gas. But what life is going to be like for your children, your grandchildren and great-grandchildren,” one unnamed voter told Fox on Tuesday evening outside of the Trump-headlined rally for former RNC chair Mike Whatley’s Senate bid against Dem former Governor Roy Cooper. “What will they grow up to? You have to keep those people in the political regime in Iran without a nuclear weapon. If we don’t do something now, isn’t that worth paying another dollar a gallon?” the voter continued, the confusing double-negative rhetorical question clearly meant to be profound.

Two years ago this month Congressman Jim Jordan cited the increasing price of Halloween candy as a reason to return to power the president who had incited a deadly insurrection.