“Short term oil prices, which will drop rapidly when the destruction of the Iran nuclear threat is over, is a very small price to pay for USA, and World, Safety and Peace. ONLY FOOLS WOULD THINK DIFFERENTLY!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Sunday.

Credit goes to @BadFoxGraphics for this catch: The fat bastard took a lot of heat from Twitter libs for wearing one of his stupid hats to the dignified transfer of the remains of the six service members killed in the Iranian drone attack on their command post in Kuwait last weekend, heat that Fox News was obviously cognizant of, and for which they just straight up lied to their audience and reused footage from a December 2025 transfer, even putting “Saturday” in the corner of the B-roll.

“Great Job by hard working Scott Pressler on Fox and Friends talking about using the Filibuster, or Talking Filibuster, in order to pass THE SAVE AMERICA ACT, an 88 percent issue with ALL VOTERS. It must be done immediately. It supersedes everything else. MUST GO TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE. I, as President, will not sign other Bills until this is passed, AND NOT THE WATERED DOWN VERSION”

“GO FOR THE GOLD: MUST SHOW VOTER ID and PROOF OF CITIZENSHIP: NO MAIL-IN BALLOTS EXCEPT FOR MILITARY – ILLNESS, DISABILITY, TRAVEL: NO MEN IN WOMEN’S SPORTS: NO TRANSGENDER MUTILIZATION FOR CHILDREN! DO NOT FAIL!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Sunday morning. Hopefully “mutilization” makes it into the exact text.

This is both a classic and is kind of scientifically accurate. Really only the few appearances of basaltic, Hawaiian-style lava in about two scenes is the most major sin of Dante’s Peak.

It’s actually worse than the first thing you thought of when you saw the headline as “human compost” does not mean “people manure.” It means human remains which, until Friday, the San Joaquin River Parkway Trust in Fresno County, California had been using to enrich soil for the 76-acre preserve’s plant life, a fertilization method the trust’s executive director Sharon Weaver told local station ABC 30 is “a more environmentally friendly way to deal with somebody after they die.”

Prior to the trust’s Friday compliance with a cease and desist from the county, Weaver had defended the, uh, disposal site’s partnership with local private business “Earth Funerals” as having “all the normal components of compost. We do a test on every load. Earth Funerals has to do a lot of testing at their site to make sure they are complying with regulations.” Weaver did not get into specifics about what “every load” meant, as in the typical condition of the remains upon delivery to the site.

The California San Joaquin River Conservancy, a state agency, had previously demanded that the trust, a privately-incorporated non-profit, stop using people compost and to remove it within 45 days, a demand that was escalated this week with the county’s stop order and a joint press conference by officials from both decrying this most macabre of endpoints to granola hippie culture.

“Not human waste, human remains that has been turned into compost into the soil,” Conservancy chair Garry Bredefeld said at the Friday briefing, reiterating the emphatic distinction in this article’s opener. Weaver told ABC 30 she has no problem with the county’s halt as no further deliveries from Earth Funerals are scheduled currently. She did not however speak to the conservancy’s order to to dig up and cart away God knows how much of the ghastly “compost” already buried there.

Millions of lucky folks living in British Columbia, Canada’s third most-populous province, will be stuck with their final-ever “Spring Forward” on Sunday morning – and “Fall Back” come November – as the BC Attorney General this week announced the government “will adopt permanent, year-round daylight saving time after clocks shift forward an hour on Sunday, March 8, 2026. People and businesses will have eight months to prepare for the elimination of the next time change, previously scheduled for Nov 1, 2026. Eliminating twice-yearly time changes reduces disruptions for families, simplifies scheduling and provides an extra hour of evening light during the winter months.”

Lucky bastards. All legislative movement to switch to year-round Daylight Saving Time in the US has been stuck for years. Plenty of state legislatures have passed laws doing so but it’s meaningless without any change to the Uniform Time Act of 1966, which maddeningly allows states to stop observing DST if they so choose but specifically prohibits doing the opposite as British Columbia just did – and Yukon did back in 2020. So come November, after decades of being in sync year-round, Vancouver and Seattle, two metros separated by a national border but close enough in proximity and with cultural and economic ties will abruptly find themselves an hour apart.

There probably aren’t going to be much if any other similarly sudden WTFs in the near or middle-term that might finally prompt Congress to end this madness once and for all – despite having come so tantalizingly close back in 2022 when then-Senator Marco Rubio’s bill for year-round DST passed the chamber by a fluke unanimous consent only for then-Speaker Nancy Pelosi to fail to bring it to the House floor – so here’s hoping the new difference between Washington State and British Columbia sparks a renewed momentum. Everyone’s in for a lousy week coming up, nobody likes seeing the sun set before 5 PM in November and December, let’s just get this bullshit over with.

An new assessment compiled by the National Intelligence Council says that the US military, even projecting a maximal assault on Iran, is unlikely to ever oust Iran’s deeply-entrenched hardline clerics and security services, the Washington Post reports on convicted felon President Trump’s folly.

The Post’s reporting on the unfortunate assessment came less than an hour after the fat bastard posted “Iran, which is being beat to HELL, has apologized and surrendered to its Middle East neighbors, and promised that it will not shoot at them anymore. This promise was only made because of the relentless US and Israeli attack. They were looking to take over and rule the Middle East. It is the first time that Iran has ever lost, in thousands of years, to surrounding Middle Eastern Countries. They have said, ‘Thank you President Trump.’ I have said, ‘You’re welcome!’ Iran is no longer the ‘Bully of the Middle East,’ they are, instead, ‘THE LOSER OF THE MIDDLE EAST,’ and will be for many decades until they surrender or, more likely, completely collapse! Today Iran will be hit very hard! Under serious consideration for complete destruction and certain death, because of Iran’s bad behavior, are areas and groups of people that were not considered for targeting up until this moment in time. Thank you for your attention to this matter!” on his lame Twitter clone.

Oily car thief Republican California Congressman Darrell Issa won’t be running for reelection in November, eight years after the last time the fucker retired, sources tell Politico.

A Scranton, Pennsylvania man used Biden Street in the Steamtown City as his means of attempted escape when fleeing from a confrontation with police over unpaid child support Monday, a flight from which he unironically left his five year-old behind, the Scranton Times Tribune reports.

Mark Sheridan, 32, was in the Domestic Relations Office on Wyoming Ave when staff there county sheriffs that the wanted man was present with young child. When cops arrived they found Sheridan in the lobby and somehow he was able to flee the second they informed him they wanted to speak with him. The police yelled to Sheridan he had forgotten the child and yet he continued to flee, jumping into his car a driving down nearby Biden Street, named in recent years for the native son 46th President of the United States and, indirectly so, fellow famous derelict deadbeat dad Hunter.

Police swiftly caught up with Sheridan, prompting him to flee on foot. Police officers and sheriff’s deputies finally subdued Sheridan a few blocks away under the Lackawanna Ave bridge. Sheridan is charged with endangering the welfare of a child and fleeing police. He remains at the Lackawanna County Prison in lieu of $20,000 bail. The boy was retrieved by his mother shortly after the incident.

Two years apart pic.twitter.com/c2qsWgFJDO

— Headquarters (@HQNewsNow) March 6, 2026

Global gaming giant Nintendo on Friday sued the Orange Bowser in the US Court of International Trade seeking to clawback all the golden coins they got charged in his stupid, failed trade war.

“The character ‘Daryl Hannah’ portrayed in the series is not even a remotely accurate representation of my life, my conduct or my relationship with John [F Kennedy Jr]. The actions and behaviors attributed to me are untrue. I have never used cocaine in my life or hosted cocaine-fueled parties.”

“I have never pressured anyone into marriage. I have never desecrated any family heirloom or intruded upon anyone’s private memorial. I have never planted any story in the press. I never compared Jacqueline Onassis’ death to a dog’s,” writes Hollywood actress Daryl Hannah, protesting the character named “Daryl Hannah” in FX’s miniseries Love Story: John F Kennedy Jr and Carolyn Bessette in a New York Times guest editorial headlined “How Can ‘Love Story’ Get Away With This?”

Ummm… Without any value judgment on the portrayal of Hannah or her pushing back against it so vehemently – though the vehemence itself could be indicative that the producers overdid it – that passage is just fucking funny. Sorry, Daryl. You did not intend for comedy, this is about your personal life and of course you’re going to be pissed if someone you never met paints you to be an asshole. You have every right to be upset over creative liberties that do not redound to you.

Pasted here in media res however, that string of sentences is simply really hilarious. Not laughing at you or your pain and sorrow, simply appreciating them context free in all their dark absurdity.

Wow!!!! Total commitment to one of the most important pieces of legislation to save Our Republic. Pass the Save America Act now!!!! https://t.co/D7xwbZ0z6w

— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) March 6, 2026

In related news, the Washington Post reports Don Jr’s bloated orange corpse of a dad has told people he intends to endorse John Cornhole Cornyn, even as he’s aware that MAGAmerica will lose their shit over it. “It is a massive ask for the president, love him though we may, to come in and say, ‘Hey, that conservative that you love for the same reasons you love me? I want you to change your mind,’” said Mark Davis, a far right radio host in Texas. “A whole lot of them are simply not going to do it. This is needless tension thrown into a race that’s going to play out the way it plays out.”

“We are moving thousands of people out of various Countries throughout the Middle East. It is being done quietly, but seamlessly. The State Department, under Secretary Marco Rubio, is doing a great job!” posted Orange Grandpa on Friday without linking any evidence whatsoever to back it up.

“The United States is the only place we surveyed where more adults (ages 18 and older) describe the morality and ethics of others living in the country as bad (53 percent) than good (47 percent).”

“Because we have never asked this question before, we don’t know whether a majority of Americans have long held a skeptical view of the ethics of fellow Americans, or if it’s something new – and if so, what’s driving it. But partisan politics appear to play a role. Democrats and independents who lean toward the Democratic Party are much more likely than Republicans and Republican leaners to rate fellow Americans as morally and ethically bad (60 percent vs. 46 percent). And previous research has shown that rising numbers of both Republicans and Democrats say people in the other party are immoral,” says the intro to a new Pew research survey validating the moral superiority of Dems.

CNN’s Dana Bash on Friday recounted a conversation she’d had with convicted felon President Trump in which he said both that gas prices will go down soon but that they also aren’t high.

“There will be no deal with Iran except UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER! After that, and the selection of a GREAT and ACCEPTABLE Leader(s), we, and many of our wonderful and very brave allies and partners, will work tirelessly to bring Iran back from the brink of destruction, making it economically bigger, better, and stronger than ever before. IRAN WILL HAVE A GREAT FUTURE. ‘MAKE IRAN GREAT AGAIN (MIGA!)'” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday, all but screaming for mercy and begging for some way to keep his egomaniacal strongman image intact.

FUCK YEAH! The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that “total nonfarm payroll employment edged down by 92,000 in February, and the unemployment rate changed little at 4.4 percent, the US Bureau of Labor Statistics reported today. Employment in health care decreased, reflecting strike activity. Employment in information and federal government continued to trend down.” WOOHOO!

OH MY GOD THIS IS SO AWESOME! IT HELPS DEMOCRATS GET MORE VOTES IN NOVEMBER IF IT CONTINUES! THIS IS SUCH GREAT NEWS THAT AMERICANS ARE SUFFERING BECAUSE THAT MEANS THEY’RE GOING TO TAKE IT OUT ON REPUBLICANS AT THE BALLOT BOX! EVEN BETTER IS THAT ECONOMISTS HAD EXPECTED JUST 50,000 US JOB LOSSES!!! WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, NO TIME FOR MAGA, CAUSE WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS… OF AMERICA!!!

What? Why are you looking at this article like that? Was there a typo? Why can’t National Zero act the same way Republicans and right wing media did back in 2022 and 2023 every time there was a bad inflation or jobs report or when someone tweeted a pic of an $18 Big Mac extra value meal on the menu board at a rest stop McDonald’s on I-95 in Connecticut? The all caps victory dance above was just as subtle as their shit was back in those days. Stop being such weenie leftist libs about it.

And to be serious for a second, no. Nobody should ever want people to suffer if it’s politically advantageous for their team (“Leopards Ate My Face“-type situations are by and large anecdotal and individual, and thus are different). It was fucking ridiculous how over the top the fanboys got during the Biden years. Going even more over the top here simply to remind them how they looked.