The moronic House Republican messaging vote on a constitutional amendment to cap the Supreme Court bench at nine justices failed on Wednesday, gaining a single Dem yes vote from North Carolina Congressman Don Davis, Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman reports.

“Now that we have it under USA control, should we change the name Hormuz Strait to TRUMP STRAIT??? Like America itself, it would be ‘hotter’ than ever before! Thank you for your attention to this matter,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday, as though he were asking permission from the American public instead of simply going ahead and signing the order already.

Like why not just do it? It’s not like Google and Apple are going to take more than a few days to get on board and dutifully apply the change to their map apps as commanded to by the Regime. Go ahead and declare the Strait of Hormuz to be the “Strait of Trump,” and celebrate yet another major win for the American people. Hell the media might even very quickly embrace this one, printing headlines like “US Navy chopper shot down over Strait of Trump,” “Iranians fire another volley of missiles over the Strait of Trump,” and so on. That will definitely help it stick in people’s minds.

“Commemorate America’s 250-year journey with the official Mint-issued Semi-Quincentennial Circulating $1 Coins, available in collector 25-coin rolls and 100-coin bags. Created to celebrate this historic national milestone, these special circulating dollar coins combine everyday American coinage with a once-in-a-generation anniversary design destined to become a standout addition to modern collections. Celebrate a historic American milestone, the official United States Mint-issued Semiquincentennial $1 Coin was struck to honor 250 years of American heritage.”

“The obverse features a portrait of the sitting President, Donald J Trump, with the inscriptions ‘LIBERTY,’ ‘IN GOD WE TRUST,’ and ‘1776 ~ 2026.’ The reverse (tails) design features the Presidential Seal, which shows an eagle holding an olive branch and a bundle of arrows, with a shield on its breast and a banner inscribed ‘E PLURIBUS UNUM’ in its beak. The shield contains the additional inscription ‘250’ to honor the Semiquincentennial of the United States. The additional inscriptions are ‘UNITED STATES OF AMERICA’ and ‘ONE DOLLAR,'” says the announcement that the US Treasury is now basically ProudPatriots.com or whichever scam outfit sold those “Real Trump Coins.”

The price for 25 coins is $61.00, working out to $2.44 each, rather than, you know, $1 each. To be fair, before the fat bastard returned to power the US Mint did sell all sorts of similar tchotkes which, like this one, are legal tender while also designated “non-circulating” currency distributed by the Federal Reserve. Meaning your local 7-Eleven is technically legally obligated to accept it as if it’s a $1 bill (if you’re dumb enough to want to take the $1.44 loss). It’s the only loophole that the Orange God Emperor was able to exploit to get his face on a legal tender, falling well short of his $250 bill fantasy and all the other zero-day hacks he’s been attempting to get around federal statute.

What won’t be zero is the number of the coins that will, sooner or later somewhere in MAGAmerica, be handed to a heroin dealer. Or a family court clerk as part of a monthly child support payment.

For a Kentuckian whose delegation-mate and neighboring Republican Congressman Thomas Massie was railroaded out of his seat for thoughtcrimes against the Trump Regime via a primary challenge, one might be tempted to think that for James Comer to say that House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries wants “to rule” the Dem caucus “with an iron fist” is more of the usual gaslighting just for the fun of it by a member of the party that has made such deliberate misstatements about reality a bedrock part of their brand. However all available evidence strongly indicates that Comer is stupid and incapable of such “strategic thinking,” thus in all likelihood actually believes the shit coming out of his mouth when asked about the mini-Dem crisis spurred by edgelords Jared “Joe Manchin Jr” Golden and Marie “Vacant Billie Eilish Stare” Gluesenkamp-Perez voting with Republicans on Tuesday and thus bailing GOP leadership out of the usual Freedom Caucasian holdout shitshow.

Both face internal discipline – though Golden called it quits and will be back home in northern Maine freezing his balls off starting January – and to Comer that’s totalitarian communism rather than a wrist-slap relative to the abuses regularly inflicted on elected Republicans for daring to question the might of the Orange God Emperor. In fact it’s fair to question whether Comer wants the Dear Leader to be reminded that he was one of a scant few high-profile House Republicans who did not vote to reject the electoral vote count before everything went to shit on January 6, 2021. Trump might not even actually know that and it’d sure be interesting to see what he thinks of Comer if informed.

Following Google’s lead, other tech giant Apple on Tuesday caved to the Trump Regime and “officially” renamed Lake Ontario to “Lake America,” Meidas Touch’s Aaron Parnas reports.

“The United States is, as we speak, striking Iranian Targets near the Strait of Hormuz. The strikes are large and powerful, and in retaliation for the Iranians’ failed attempt at adding sea mines to the Strait, which currently has no mines (They have been completely removed or detonated!), and the Iranians shooting eight missiles, all successfully knocked down, at our Military Base in Jordan.”

“If the failed Nation of Iran retaliates for this very justified attack, they will be hit again at a much harder and higher level, but it will not be the biggest attack of them all, that is waiting in the wings and, when it is over, there will be very little left of the Islamic Republic of Iran!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday, soiling himself with anticipation of declaring victory.

House Majority Leader Steve Scalise on Tuesday told Fox Business News his caucus will this week be bringing up a constitutional amendment to cap the size of the Supreme Court bench at nine justices, signaling to whoever the hell it is sitting in for Maria Bartiromo and her audience that the Republican Party establishment is now taking seriously the still-theoretical threat of a dismantling of the permanently-entrenched conservative power structure’s most important and durable bulwark.

Or at least seriously enough to take the time to vote on this amendment instead of, say, a bill to help reduce Americans’ electricity bills (in the second half of the above clip Scalise said the House will be investigating the alleged Chinese propaganda campaign against data centers so maybe don’t hold your breath for a vote on the Ratepayer Protection Act). But still not really that seriously since, well, constitutional amendments are kind of hard to get passed and Scalise appears to be betting correctly that Fox Business News viewers don’t understand that. Scalise might as well be pushing it as a non-binding resolution because the practical impact on the politics involved will be the same.

Actually scratch that: A non-binding resolution would be a significantly better idea here because it will pass by a simple majority and give the GOP a rhetorical win on the issue. A constitutional amendment vote, which will fail by coming up very well short of the two-thirds required in the House and the Senate – long before it also will fail to be passed by two thirds of the state legislatures. A resolution, even if passed along party lines, could at least be sold as an affirmation of maintaining the status quo, whereas a failed two-thirds supermajority loss will not only land to the opposite effect in simple kayfabe terms, but probably even add some momentum to the already snowballing movement to abolish the filibuster and then pack the court with as many as six more liberal justices.

A new national survey by Reuters/Ipsos finds approval of convicted felon President Trump’s “official” renaming of Lake Ontario to Lake America at 14 percent versus 63 percent disapprove and 23 percent not sure. The support level for the renaming was just slightly lower than the real economic policy move accompanying it at 20 to 57 percent approve/disapprove and 22 percent unsure.

For perspective, back in February 2025 the same pollster found support for the similarly stupid and fake rechristening of the Gulf of Mexico to the “Gulf of America” at 30 to 65 percent approve/disapprove and 5 percent unsure. Obviously difficult to make a 1:1 comparison given that Americans have always held Canada in higher regard than Mexico, which, let’s be honest, not all or even most of that delta is a right winger worldview of “Canada: white, Mexico: brown.” The 80 percent 59 percent favorable ratings for Canada and Mexico, respectively, that Ipsos found in October 2024 is not solely MAGA. If anything those chuds are probably more likely to hate both equally because Canada socialist and liberal while Mexico poor and rife with cartel violence.

Point being that, even if it’s difficult to weigh that and the other extrinsic variables in, a drop from 30 to 14 percent approval from Trump’s first and second unilateral renaming of an international body of water is hard not to notice. Somewhere in that delta and quite possibly accounting for most of it is the difference between “Lol, suck it Mexico! America is BACK!” and “Who the fuck cares? This is stupid and a waste of time when gas is $4.15 a gallon,” from the fairweather Trump fan.

“I just had a GREAT and very interesting meeting with my Hollywood Ambassador and Movie Legend, Jon Voight! He is a fantastic man who loves our Country, and feels strongly about the Motion Picture and Television Industry. He hates what’s happened to it! It is being dissipated in its entirety. It has moved to Canada, and other Countries, with very little work being done anymore in the United States. Hollywood is a Complete and Total Disaster! Despite the name, it is getting very little work. There is no incentive to be there, and it is hurting California very badly. Jon, and many others in the Industry, are suggesting we do Federal Tax Incentives in order to Make our Movie and Television Production Business GREAT AGAIN, perhaps GREATER THAN EVER BEFORE! The amount of money spent on Tax Incentives will be made up tenfold by the money pouring into the Treasury’s coffers. Meetings are being set up with the Leaders of both Parties in order to get this done.”

“It should be Bipartisan, especially since so much money is being lost in California, and other largely Blue States. I am going to suggest that Republicans and Democrats get together, and immediately craft Legislation to save the Movie, Television, and Entertainment Business in America. Congress should approve, immediately, a Federal Production Incentive to create Entertainment Jobs in America. It can be done quickly, accurately, efficiently and, importantly, will benefit ALL of America.”

“What we watch on the Silver Screen should be made in what was once the Movie and Motion Picture Capital of the World. Let’s get this done!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday and it’s entirely fair to question whether the conversation actually took place or if he simply imagined that it did. Acting like “movie” and “motion picture” are two different things is a tell.

After months of internal fighting with his drunken asshole boss Pete Hegseth, Army Secretary Dan Driscoll tendered his resignation on Monday, the Wall Street Journal reports on a great sign of strength from the world’s most powerful military during a war it’s supposed to be winning.

Evidently desperate to show House Dems they’re a model of good corporate governance so no need to send 50 subpoenas a day, scam betting house Kalshi on Monday posted a “NOTICE OF SETTLEMENT OF DISCIPLINARY ACTION” against North Carolina 1st District GOP nominee Laurie Buckhout, stating that “Pursuant to the settlement offer in which Buckhout agreed resolve this matter, the Kalshi Disciplinary Panel has approved the Compliance Department’s findings in this investigation. The Compliance Department found that Buckhout announced her candidacy for public office and was added as a market option for a contract on a North Carolina Congressional election.”

“As a candidate, Buckhout qualified as a direct decision maker for the contract and therefore had direct influence on the outcome of the Underlying event. Trading on such events is strictly prohibited under Rule 5.17(z), and the settlement further established that Buckhout purchased less than $1000 worth of contracts related to her own candidacy, in violation of this Rule,” the notice continued, adding that Buckhout – running against incumbent Dem Congressman Don Davis – had agreed to a suspension “from direct or indirect access to Kalshi for a period of 3 years and imposed a financial penalty of $2,589.96,” thus admitting she had illicitly won a similar amount.

What a fucking asshole, cashing out just a few grand when she’s supposed to be running a campaign so she can pursue (far more lucrative) insider trading opportunities from the inside.

“Iran is officially a Failed Nation. IT IS DEAD! They have no Navy, they have no Air Force, they have no currency, they are not paying their soldiers or police, Inflation is at 300 percent, and their leadership is in total disarray and incapable of properly representing the country. The only thing they have is FAKE NEWS from the USA, a willingness to kill their protesters (now over 100,000 people dead. They must be tried for war crimes against humanity!), and a good line of ‘BULLSHIT,'” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday and goddamn that is awfully close to a true statement about the United States in under two years since he rode a wave of lies to return to power.

Convicted felon President Trump’s wonderful relationship with Kim Jong Un and screwing over South Korean doesn’t actually mean anything when it comes to diplomacy as Reuters reports that Pyongyang on Monday announced that “The Trump administration has thus fully reconfirmed its invariable hostile policy to wantonly violate the sovereignty and security interests of the DPRK.”

🚨 PUBLIC ASSISTANCE REQUESTED

The NPS is asking for information about more than 20 individuals who may be missing or unaccounted for following the Aug. 29 flash flood in Bright Angel Canyon and the Phantom Ranch area.

If you know of hikers/backpackers who were in the Bright… pic.twitter.com/S6S6zHSZ7Q

— Grand Canyon NPS (@GrandCanyonNPS) August 30, 2026

More stuff blew up in Iran on Sunday because our Secretary of War has a warrior ethos and likes fucking shit up especially when they’re not Christians and hate Christmas, CNN reports.

“THE FAKE POLLS USED BY OUR CROOKED MEDIA ARE OUT OF CONTROL, AND SOMETHING MUST BE DONE ABOUT IT. FCC TO THE RESCUE!” proclaimed the Great Leader in a Sunday morning Truth, signaling a New Leap Forward on eliminating subversive and destabilizing surveying of the inner thoughts of the least desirable and productive members of Our Society, as well as the subsequent manipulation of the statistical findings through the widely discredited science of Mathematics. The Ministry of Information will move swiftly as instructed to stifle the disruptive elevation of the “opinions” of the ungrateful malefactors whom seek to undo the common good for all brought by the Great Leader’s ascension to the front of the Collective March to Prosperity for All.

Hail Great Leader. The Great Leader also singled out a most perfidiously reptilian and relentless hex, decreeing “Kristen Welker, the Unpopular ‘Hostess’ of the once great Meet the Press, now considered Meet the Fake Press, just stated that Donald Trump has ‘mixed results’ on his Endorsements of Candidates, when the recent WINS of Darline Graham and Mike Mazzei, stand at 100 percent for the US Senate, and 98 percent for the US House, recently and over the longterm.”

Oklahoma MAGA Congresswoman Stephanie Bice got a little too honest about convicted felon President Trump while speaking with a group of college Republicans last week, according to audio obtained by the Bulwark. “The challenge that we have is that we have to get over the narrative that ‘I don’t like this guy, so I’m going to vote for the Democrat,’” said Bice. “Because I’m telling you right now, I’m hearing it already. And what happens is that’ll impact me because… two things will either happen. They’re going to vote for the Democrat and they may split [the] ticket and vote for me and a few others, or – this is my bigger fear right now – people don’t go vote.”

“I was at a board meeting yesterday with a group, and one of the execs said to me, ‘I’m a Republican. I’ve been a Republican for a long time, but I have Trump fatigue.’ It’s a fair statement, you know?” Bice added, blasphemously acknowledging that her Orange Overlord is politically mortal.

An aide for “a Republican member of the Energy and Commerce Committee, granted anonymity to describe internal party dynamics,” tells Politico they’ve “reached out to Majority Leader Scalise to let him know we’d like to see the Ratepayer Protection Act on the floor as soon as the House comes back from August recess. Our constituents are demanding substantive action on data centers.”

The quote about the bill ought to be more or less self-explanatory but there is one further detail key to why they’re having to nag Scalise to bring it to the floor when it already unanimously passed the committee last month: The bill‘s topline is “to amend the Public Utility Regulatory Policies Act of 1978 to establish a Federal standard relating to the recovery of the full, incremental costs of upgrades that serve large-load customers, and for other purposes,” meaning that the federal government will tell states what to do to ensure consistent policy on how to hike rates on data centers and thus bring relief to regular folks getting fucked over on their electric bills.

Eventually. The dispositive description of the source for the Wednesday story and the actual quote expressing responsiveness to a real problem and the tension with Scalise’s “principled” opposition to the measure as proposed, that data centers are a “local issue” and he’s opposed to imposing regulations on states. Naturally Politico doesn’t so much as nod at Scalise taking the opposite approach when it comes to national bills on voting. To him that issue is as local as the Olive Garden’s menu and its requirements to produce a photo ID to use a Never-Ending Pasta Pass.