SPOILER ALERT: If you’re a fan of Amazon Prime’s The Boys and for whatever reason have yet to see this week’s series finale then, well, definitely don’t click the “Read more” button below…

The Trump Regime’s new “White House app,” billed on the Google Play store as keeping “you connected to President Donald J Trump and his administration like never before. Receive real-time breaking news alerts straight from the White House on key developments, executive actions, and national priorities. Stay up to date with the latest policy initiatives and topics shaping America’s future – from border security and economic growth to energy independence and making America great again,” is now required downloading for all federal employee work phones.

Or maybe not so much “required” as forced whether a federal worker likes it or not, according to a policy memo obtained by Government Executive saying that automatic downloads will begin next week on the phones of at least one unspecified federal agency’s workers. Sur-fucking-prise, it’s shovelware that cybersecurity researchers have warned is filled with all sorts of holes, such as its incorporation of a Russian software kit called Elfsight that one anonymous government cybersecurity researcher told NOTUS last week they had found that the code made public the personal information of some White House staffers through the app. The fucking White House even admitted this, saying “Elfsight went through a full security review by White House IT and was approved for use. This is a vulnerability on Elfsight’s side – and they have been informed of it.”

“Any app that is installed on government-issued devices can potentially create backdoor access to government networks behind the firewall,” said former federal IT executive Sonny Hashmi, almost certainly watering down the gravity of the move by keeping the statement simple.

“A button gives the option to ‘text President Trump,’ which, when clicked, opens a text message to a pre-selected number with the default text ‘Greatest President Ever!’ Sending the text signs the user up for alerts, which individuals can also do through the app itself,” GovExec writes in the article, blithely letting the app’s “feature” speak for itself to its public service employee readership.

That Barack Obama and that infamous “57 states” gaffe. Really haunted him for years. Think he meant to say “50 stops across seven states” or something like that in a campaign context. Probably was really tired at the time since yelling into a microphone in front of thousands of people multiple times a day, nearly every day, for months on end takes a lot of physical and mental stamina.

Anyway the above is what his successor, President Donald Trump, is up to online this morning.

A magnitude 6.0 earthquake struck the Big Island of Hawaii late Friday, a temblor that the USGS reports “occurred due to oblique reverse faulting at a depth of 22 km (14 miles). Large magnitude earthquakes in Hawaii that occur at this depth are typically caused by lithospheric flexure due to the weight of the Hawaiian Islands pressing down on the underlying oceanic plate. Given the depth, location and the observed typical mainshock-aftershock behavior, the May 23 event is not directly related to magmatic processes.” Meaning that it’s unlikely to be a precursor to an eruption.

That however doesn’t mean there hasn’t been any impact, though no reports of injuries have surfaced thus far, per ABC News who report structure damage along with numerous rockslides blocking roads. An estimated 500 Hawaiian Electric Company customers are currently without power, with reports of down utility lines and power outages in the South Kona area.

Facing decreasing popularity at home because of all the stupid shit he did, convicted felon President Trump is looking to change the narrative as well as avoid going to his son’s wedding by launching a new attack on Iran, Axios reports, writing that Donald “has raised the possibility of a final ‘decisive’ major military operation, after which he could declare victory and end the war.”

“While I very much wanted to be with my son, Don Jr, and the newest member of the Trump Family, his soon to be wife, Bettina, circumstances pertaining to Government, and my love for the United States of America, do not allow me to do so. I feel it is important for me to remain in Washington, DC, at the White House during this important period of time. Congratulations to Don and Bettina!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday, making his fatherly non-attendance official.

On social media no less… Don Jr’s mom will also be remaining in the United States, unable to attend the Bahamas wedding as she is indisposed at the Bedminster Country Club in New Jersey.

Pro-Russian Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard tells Fox News she’s resigning from her post “to support her husband through his battle with ‘an extremely rare form of bone cancer,'” according to the propaganda network. It’s not clear how serious the cancer afflicting Tulsi’s husband Abe – a Caucasian-Hawaiian hipster about eight years her junior who has never served in government or the military – actually is or whether it’s simply a convenient excuse for Tulsi to quit.

Hopefully for Abe’s sake the latter and it is mild/treatable. Because that would fucking suck to have a deranged sociopath like his wife around more often while he suffers horribly.

Good God this is disgusting, especially the slobbery way in which he says he doesn’t know all the details of convicted felon President Trump’s “settlement” with the IRS before defending it anyway.

Trump himself justified it proudly on Truth Social just a few minutes ago, writing “I gave up a lot of money in allowing the just announced Anti-Weaponization Fund to go forward. I could have settled my case, including the illegal release of my Tax Returns and the equally illegal BREAK IN of Mar-a-Lago, for an absolute fortune. Instead, I am helping others, who were so badly abused by an evil, corrupt, and weaponized Biden Administration, receive, at long last, JUSTICE!” Such magnanamy.

“People don’t remember that Thom Tillis, the weak and ineffective Senator from the Great State of North Carolina, a State I won, including primaries, 6 consecutive times, didn’t have the courage to fight it out in the Senate, remain in place, and run again for office, a thing he desperately wanted to do. I called him a ‘Nitpicker,’ always fighting against the Republican Party, and ME, mostly on things that didn’t matter. When I told him that I would not, under any circumstances, endorse him for another run, too much work and drama (he couldn’t have won, anyway!), he immediately quit the race and publicly announced that he was going to ‘retire.’ I said, ‘Wow, great news, that was easy!’ The media said how brave he was to take me on, but he wasn’t brave, he was just the opposite – HE WAS A QUITTER! Now he can have all the fun he wants for a few months, with some of his RINO friends, screwing the Republican Party. In the end it will only get bigger, and better, and stronger, than ever before!!!” posted the Orange Lord of Castle Otranto on Friday.

“Stephen Colbert’s firing from CBS was the ‘Beginning of the End’ for untalented, nasty, highly overpaid, not funny, and very poorly rated Late Night Television Hosts. Others, of even less talent, to soon follow. May they all Rest in Peace!” the fat fuck later added in a separate post.

“On 03 January 2026, the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) announced that the Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) recruitment campaign launched in 2025 has brought in an additional 12,000 ICE officers and agents. DHS has been advertising the recruitment efforts across several official US government social media accounts, and while the content is generally understood to be patriotic and motivated by the desire to protect Americans, some of the messaging has drawn criticism for mirroring popular white supremacist rhetoric and imagery. Regardless of the mission of DHS and the controversy surrounding the intent of the messaging, the information outlined below indicates that some violent extremist groups and individuals are interpreting the messaging as reflective of white supremacist imagery and rhetoric. The CIAC urges safety and security officials to practice increased situational awareness surrounding immigration events and ICE operations in the state and maintain awareness of this potential threat environment, including: ▪ (U//FOUO) The potential for white supremacist violent extremists to attempt to join or infiltrate ICE and engage in bias motivated violence, endangering the public, other ICE personnel, and local law enforcement.”

“▪ (U//FOUO) The potential for white supremacist violent extremists to misinterpret DHS messaging as a permissive environment to engage in vigilante action and/or violence against individuals perceived to be immigrants. ▪ (U//FOUO) The potential for anti-ICE protestors and anti-fascist violent extremist groups to misinterpret DHS messaging and perceive all ICE personnel, and by extension law enforcement and government officials, as supportive of or complicit in white supremacy, therefore creating perceived justification for violence targeting those individuals,” says a March memo from the Colorado Department of Public Safety’s Information Analysis .

It’s 11 pages long and operates under the assumption it’s a bug not, a feature.

Never in 250 years has America witnessed a sitting president shield himself and his family from tax scrutiny, after leveraging policies that benefit his own businesses and personal portfolios, as Donald J. Trump has done. https://t.co/B6axJYDxIC

— Jim VandeHei (@JimVandeHei) May 22, 2026

Axios on Friday printed a behind the curtains look at the unconventional income streams of a billionaire real estate developer whose net worth has skyrocketed over the last two years, marveling at how the tycoon “leverages policies that benefit his own businesses and personal portfolios.”

Be smart: Axios is really plugged-in to the top tiers of the business and tech elite.

A Memphis man tells CBS News that he and an associate were duct-taped and thrown in a “dungeon” by Epstein Island’s new owners after landing on the cursed patch last month. Benjamin Owen, 44, doesn’t believe he and fellow anti-sex-trafficking activist Ryan Dalton were “supposed to leave that island alive.” In reality the two were trespassing and were handed over to US Virgin Islands Police by staff of an LLC owned by the island’s new proprietor, billionaire Stephen Deckoff, who is supposedly developing the notoriously cursed place into a luxury resort.

Following a meeting with his conference Auditioning Attorney General Todd Blanche that did not go well, Senate Majority Leader John Thune of Thursday called time out for the Senate, announcing the chamber will not be returning to work until next month, Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman reports, separately adding that an afternoon White House meeting between Hill GOP leaders and convicted felon President Trump has been canceled. So yeah, everything’s going great for the bad guys.

Then House Majority Whip Tom Emmer put out a notice saying “Members are advised that, upon completion of today’s scheduled legislative business, votes are no longer expected in the House on Friday, May 22nd. Last votes for the week will take place at approximately 4:30 pm. This is a change from the previously announced schedule,” similarly bitching out over the slush fund uproar.

The fat bastard literally just said “Uhhhh. He’d like me to go. I’m gonna try and make it. I said, ‘This is not good timing for me. I have a thing called Iran and other things,'” to a reporter in the Oval Office when asked if he plans on attending Don Jr’s wedding to some blonde woman this weekend.

Stay tuned for other lowlight from this bit. Updating.

“Freddie Mac today released the results of its Primary Mortgage Market Survey® (PMMS®), showing the 30-year fixed-rate mortgage averaged 6.51 percent. ‘The 30-year fixed-rate mortgage averaged 6.51 percent this week,’ said Sam Khater, Freddie Mac’s Chief Economist. ‘As rates fluctuate, aspiring buyers should remember that by shopping around for the best mortgage rate and getting multiple quotes, they can potentially save thousands,'” says a Freddie Mac press release.

Huge vote today in the House Transportation Committee to make sure that another East Palestine rail disaster never happens again. We campaigned on this in 2024, and it’s time to finally make it happen. Don’t listen to swamp lies—vote with MAGA and the patriots of East Palestine!

— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) May 21, 2026

Spandex-wearing grapple-freak Jim Jordan on Wednesday managed to stall buy time to rally his wrestlers at the last second to squash a House Judiciary Dem effort to subpoena Auditioning Attorney General Todd Blanche over the $1.776 billion payout fund to convicted felon President Trump’s cronies and insurrectionists, Meidas Touch’s Scott MacFarlane reports, writing the narrow 18 to 17 escape signals a “Heavy lift for GOP to stop early battle over fund.”

This month’s Quinnipiac University national survey finds convicted felon President Trump’s his lowest ever economic approval rating at 33 percent to 64 percent disapprove among overall respondents and at 73 to 24 percent approve/disapprove among Republicans. Overall job approval is at the lowest of his second term at 34 to 58 percent disapprove, down from 38/55 last month.

Asking for some reason who they want to win the House majority rather than which party’s candidate in their district they plan to vote for in November, QU found Dems leading the GOP 50 to 39 percent. Now believe that or don’t but what’s funny about it is, and from the same sample, the respective Congressional parties’ ratings on “Do you approve or disapprove of the way the Republicans/Democrats in Congress are handling their job?”: 27 percent for R and 20 percent Ds.

Pretty abysmal for both sides and all of that delta is of course driven by voters’ feelings for their respective side at 41 percent Dems approving of Dem electeds to 65 percent GOP voters-to-electeds. But even among indies it’s 19 percent approving Republicans to 18 percent approving of Dems in Congress. And yet by a 52 to 32 percent landslide indies want Dems to win the House.

Blame for Trump on gas prices actually doubled among Republican voters: Last month it was 22 percent (9 percent “a lot” to 13 percent “some”) now it’s at 44 (16/28 percent “a lot”/”some”), while overall the number went up from 65 (51/14 “a lot”/”some”) to 72 percent (55/17 “a lot”/”some”).

Citing “attendance issues,” meaning they know they’re going to lose, Jesus Dork Speaker of the House Mike Johnson’s team of fascist incompetents on Wednesday canceled a vote on the matter of whether convicted felon President Trump was acting under legal authority when he launched a surprise attack on Iran nearly three months ago, Punchbowl’s John Bresnahan reports.

On the other side of the Capitol, Bresnahan’s colleague Samantha Handler heard from Louisiana Senator John Kennedy who said that the $1 billion in funding for the White House ballroom is not happening as Republicans in the chamber simply don’t have the votes. Very sad for the fat princess.