Complete scumbag Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson said he’s not surprised neckbearded Vice President JD Vance failed to get the Iranians to submit to his sheer force of personality – but of course blamed the Iranians themselves and not, you know, the fat dumbass that started this fight.

“So, there you have it, the meeting went well, most points were agreed to, but the only point that really mattered, NUCLEAR, was not. Effective immediately, the United States Navy, the Finest in the World, will begin the process of BLOCKADING any and all Ships trying to enter, or leave, the Strait of Hormuz. At some point, we will reach an ‘ALL BEING ALLOWED TO GO IN, ALL BEING ALLOWED TO GO OUT’ basis, but Iran has not allowed that to happen by merely saying, ‘There may be a mine out there somewhere,’ that nobody knows about but them. THIS IS WORLD EXTORTION, and Leaders of Countries, especially the United States of America, will never be extorted. I have also instructed our Navy to seek and interdict every vessel in International Waters that has paid a toll to Iran.”

“No one who pays an illegal toll will have safe passage on the high seas. We will also begin destroying the mines the Iranians laid in the Straits. Any Iranian who fires at us, or at peaceful vessels, will be BLOWN TO HELL! Iran knows, better than anyone, how to END this situation which has already devastated their Country. Their Navy is gone, their Air Force is gone, their Anti Aircraft and Radar are useless, Khomeini, and most of their ‘Leaders,’ are dead, all because of their Nuclear ambition. The Blockade will begin shortly. Other Countries will be involved with this Blockade. Iran will not be allowed to profit off this Illegal Act of EXTORTION. They want money and, more importantly, they want Nuclear. Additionally and, at an appropriate moment, we are fully ‘LOCKED AND LOADED,’ and our Military will finish up the little that is left of Iran!” posted Donald on Sunday.

US Vice President JD Vance on Sunday departed Pakistan with nothing even remotely resembling a peace agreement with the Iranians, the AP reports on a historic, unprecedented failure.

DC US Attorney Jeanine “Judge Box-o-Wine” Pirro is not among the contenders to replace disgraced former Attorney General Pam Bondi due to what the Wall Street Journal reports is Pirro’s failure to bend the justice system to her will and successfully bring fkae cases against convicted felon President Trump’s enemies such as the “Seditious Six” and Fed chairman Jerome Powell.

“As Bondi’s ouster demonstrated, Trump is looking for not only eagerness but also effectiveness in pursuit of his political adversaries, and that has proven a hurdle for Pirro,” the Journal writes, adding the the Orange Tyrant “has personally noted to advisers that some of her cases have flopped.”

The Journal notes that Pirro is hard at work on her next flop: Prosecuting disgraced former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo for supposedly lying during his 2024 testimony to Congress over how he handled the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic that Trump grossly mishandled and got hundreds of thousands of his own fans killed, including one dumbass who drank aquarium cleaner that contained chloroquine the day that Trump claimed hydroxychloroquine was a miracle cure for the virus.

Neckbearded Vice President JD Vance announced at some ungodly hour local time in Pakistan that there had been no deal reached with the Iranians to end the war, CNN reports on the latest failure.

“We have been at it now for 21 hours, and we’ve had a number of substantive discussions with the Iranians. That’s the good news,” Vance told reporters in Islamabad. “The bad news is that we have not reached an agreement. And I think that’s bad news for Iran much more than it’s bad news for the United States of America. So we go back to the United States having not come to an agreement.”

This could’ve been a TikTok embed but, there aren’t as many such triumphal vids dated November 6, 2024 as there were that day. True, the joyously beaming young lady who captioned her video “How do you sleep knowing that you will be able to afford to get married, build a house, start a family, and live in a safe country #Trump2025” was able to afford to get married, possibly because her now-husband wore jeans to the altar instead of renting a full tux to their nuptials in a threadbare, likely prefabricated church. So things sort of worked out for her and even though she hasn’t posted anything thanking the now-47th president for delivering her the blessed life she anticipated – let alone any TikTok video at all since October of 2025, you could maybe sorta take the non-deletion as a continued passive vote of support for the commander-in-chief and his policies.

But better safe than sorry. You never know when the other zoomer-aged female TikTok user who posted the above “Stayin Alive” video ripped to YouTube will delete it out of shame.

“The Fake News Media has lost total credibility, not that they had any to begin with. Because of their massive Trump Derangement Syndrome (Sometimes referred to as TDS!), they love saying that Iran is ‘winning’ when, in fact, everyone knows that they are LOSING, and LOSING BIG! Their Navy is gone, their Air Force is gone, their Anti Aircraft apparatus is nonexistent, Radar is dead, their Missile and Drone Factories have been largely obliterated along with the Missiles and Drones themselves and, most importantly, their longtime ‘Leaders’ are no longer with us, praise be to Allah!”

“The only thing they have going is the threat that a ship may ‘bunk’ into one of their sea mines which, by the way, all 28 of their mine dropper boats are also lying at the bottom of the sea. We’re now starting the process of clearing out the Strait of Hormuz as a favor to Countries all over the World, including China, Japan, South Korea, France, Germany, and many others. Incredibly, they don’t have the Courage or Will to do this work themselves. Very interestingly, however, empty Oil carrying ships from many Nations are all heading to the United States of America to LOAD UP with Oil,” posted the Orange Grandpa on Saturday morning after a night spent glued to cable news.

No screenshots or video clips of “The Fake News Media” saying outright that “Iran is ‘winning'” were attached to the post, because there are none. Instead he’s simply enraged at the for reporting the austere reality: They’ve taken a beating but they are not even close to destroyed by the simple fact that the fat fucking weasel is too scared to commit American lives to a bloody full-on invasion of the country to eradicate Tehran’s regime. Hell he won’t even try to seize control of Kharg Island, a strategy that was floated by all the instant geopolitical experts in the MAGAverse last month.

At least a third of Ireland’s 1,500 gas stations were out of fuel on Saturday as a truck and tractor blockade of the country’s lone refinery and several distribution depots continued in protest of the sudden price spikes brought by convicted felon President Trump’s stupid Iran war, the AP reports.

The main highway around the capital of Dublin and many other key arteries were closed and the Garda, the Irish national police force, were called in for double shifts. Prime Minister Micheal Martin was baffled as it – obviously – wasn’t any policy of his government that caused the price spikes. “It is unconscionable, it’s illogical, it is difficult to comprehend,” Martin told state broadcaster RTE.

“Well yeah, no shit,” former President Joe Biden did not say as he was not asked to comment for the story. But unilateral action by malevolent, revanchist tyrants affect everyone globally and legitimate democratic governments at a remove from the action get blamed for it by their voters anyway.

As if to underscore that “illogic,” the bloated near-corpse actually responsible did indeed on Saturday morning post “Massive numbers of completely empty oil tankers, some of the largest anywhere in the World, are heading, right now, to the United States to load up with the best and ‘sweetest’ oil (and gas!) anywhere in the World. We have more oil than the next two largest oil economies combined – and higher quality. We are waiting for you. Quick turnaround!”

Eric Swalwell deserves his day in court. In politics however, some things simply amount to a preponderance and as such the extremely damning and credible allegations against him merit an immediate end to his gubernatorial campaign and his resignation from Congress five minutes ago.

Full stop. In the very extremely unlikely event this is some kind of honey trap and right wing conspiracy against him then his name can be cleared in the future and he can mount some kind of comeback. Just because Mike Johnson is complete worm and would not do the same to Tony Gonzales and Cory Mills does not somehow make it okay for Swalwell to stay. He needs to resign.

“My Administration stands ready to use the full Economic Might of the United States to strengthen Hungary’s Economy, as we have done for our Great Allies in the past, if Prime Minister Viktor Orbán and the Hungarian People ever need it. We are excited to invest in the future Prosperity that will be generated by Orbán’s continued Leadership!” posted Dollar Tree Orban on Friday.

In a stunning and basically unprecedented development, the AP reports that convicted felon President Trump’s minions acknowledged they were full of shit about something and, even more amazingly, it’s actually pretty bad for one of their most highly-touted propaganda narratives.

According to the wire service, when dipshit Center for Medicaid and Medicare Services Mehmet Oz warned that New York State’s Medicaid program last year provided some 5 million people with personal care services, which assist people in need with basic activities like bathing, grooming and meal preparation, which Oz said was “unheard of.” Which was accurate because it was unheard of and more than 10 times the number of actual patients on personal care services. CMS spokesman Chris Krepich acknowledged the idiotic overstatement to the AP, saying Team Oz had misread the state’s billing codes and once again the MAGA Reich’s incompetence hampers their malevolence.

“The error, which the administration admitted first to The Associated Press, prompted health analysts to question how many of the Republican administration’s sweeping anti-fraud efforts around the country were based on faulty findings,” the AP writes right after the lede of the article, hinting this is just the tip of the iceberg of the manifold fuckups in the Regime’s “fraud” crusade.

“According to former Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, long one of President Donald Trump’s staunchest political allies, the President ‘has gone insane.’ That is a medical judgment that I am not qualified to make, but I understand what Republican Marjorie Taylor Greene is talking about. Experts have repeatedly warned that the President has been exhibiting signs consistent with dementia and cognitive decline. And, in recent days, the country has watched President Trump’s public statements and outbursts turn increasingly incoherent, volatile, profane, deranged, and threatening.”

“His apparently deteriorating condition has caused tremendous alarm across the nation (and political spectrum) about the President’s cognitive function and continuing mental fitness for the office of President, and prompted concerns about the President’s wellbeing. At a time when our country is at war – especially when the war was initiated by the President without congressional declaration or consent – the American people must be able to trust that the Commander-in-Chief has the mental capacity to discharge the essential duties of his office. I therefore request that you conduct a comprehensive cognitive assessment of President Donald Trump, provide those results to Congress, and make yourself available to brief Congress on your findings,” writes Dem Congressman Jamie Raskin in a letter to convicted felon President Trump’s White House physician Sean Barbabella.

BREAKING: Suspect throws Molotov cocktail at OpenAI CEO Sam Altman's home, according to company spokesperson pic.twitter.com/0PmgWic8iv

— Fox News (@FoxNews) April 10, 2026

Asked Friday by the Rev Al Sharpton at an event in New York City, former Vice President Kamala Harris addressed her 2028 plans by saying she’s “thinking about” another go, CBS News reports.

“Let me also say this. I served for four years being a heartbeat away from the presidency of the United States. I spent countless hours in my West Wing office, footsteps away from the Oval Office. I spent countless hours in the Oval Office, in the Situation Room. I know what the job is. And I know what it requires,” Harris continued. “I’ve been traveling in the country the last year, I’ve been spending a lot of time in the South and many other places. And the one thing I’m really clear about also is, the status quo is not working, and hasn’t been working for a lot of people for a long time.”

“Harris lost to President Trump in the 2024 election after replacing then-President Joe Biden at the top of the Democratic ticket,” CBS then writes in their article. Thanks for the reminder, fellas.

“The Iranians are better at handling the Fake News Media, and ‘Public Relations,’ than they are at fighting!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday, followed shortly after by “The Iranians don’t seem to realize they have no cards, other than a short term extortion of the World by using International Waterways. The only reason they are alive today is to negotiate!”

Yup, this is the tough strongman America elected to put all the world’s bad actors in their place.

A verbal dispute between patrons of a gentlemen’s club in Houston, Texas this Saturday last left no other alternative but for six present to effect a most fateful conclusion upon a lone fellow in the motor-carriage lot adjacent to the establishment – and prompting the constabulary to issue a bulletin for all good citizens to report with alacrity the where-abouts of the rogues, ABC 13 reports.

The exsanguinated corpse of a Mr Mg Padilla, aged 33, was encountered by patrons of the Paradise City gentlemen’s club located on the Gulf Freeway in the small hours of Saturday morn. The club, an establishment whose repute is that of bacchanal merriment and lavish dance performance numbers by partially nude seraphs, supplied the constabulary with photo-images of the rogues, three of each said to be male and female patrons. Caution is advised if the intemperates are happened upon as at least one is an accomplished pistolier of ill compunction in discharging a firearm with lethality.

Man, the Trump fanboy guy Joe Kernen was just clawing for something, anything to feel better and no, Pete Buttigieg would just not let him have it. Not even close. Just rhetorical brutality.

“Palantir Technologies (PLTR) has proven to have great war fighting capabilities and equipment. Just ask our enemies!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday, probably as a favor to evil freaks Alex Karp and Peter Thiel when the share price is down 2 percent as of 10:43 AM EDT.

But hey, let’s hear more about how great of a job they did reopening the Strait of Hormuz and creating a fully free and democratic Iran liberated from the scourge of Islamic fascism.