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Saggy-breasted old slob trying to incite a race war

“The once Great State of Minnesota is being taken over by Somali Immigrants. There is Violence, Murder, and Mayhem all over the State. The people of Minnesota must fight back. You have been robbed, and abandoned by your State Government. Your Governor is an incompetent thief who doesn’t want to get involved. He just wants to get out of town with as much as he can steal, and then, lead a quiet life. The Somalians should not be allowed to get away with what they are doing. They view you as weak and stupid people. Fight back Minnesota, fight back! If you need, the Federal Government will come to your rescue.”

“Governor Tim Walz, and Mayor of Minneapolis, Jacob Frey, must immediately ask for Federal help – and leave the rest to us!” posted the Cialis-user-in-chief on Thursday.

Why all the passivity? Why do Walz and Frey need to ask for help instead of Trump just imposing the “help” on them? And what was the point of the ICE deployment late last year/early this year (other than murdering two American citizens)? Why isn’t the Minneapolis metro still occupied by Trump’s legions if the “ Violence, Murder, and Mayhem” are still rampant?

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Regime currently attempting to indict Cassidy Hutchinson

Former Trump Admin aide-turned-January 6th Select Committee witness Cassidy Hutchinson is the subject of a lying-to-Congress case being presented to a federal grand jury in DC, Punchbowl News reports on the Reich attempting to avenge the damning 2022 testimony that painted the Orange God Emperor as an unhinged lunatic that in retrospect does not at all seem far-fetched.

Hutchinson, as Punchbowl’s Laura Weiss notes, has not herself been called into testify before the grand jury that has already heard evidence on Tuesday and will hear more later this month. Weiss did not detail any specifics of the accusations against the 29-ish years old ex-Republican, nor why the DOJ’s Civil Rights division – headed by fascist scumbag Harmeet Dhillon – is on the case.

Hard to imagine what the material lies are other than that they’re all but certainly a particularly shitty sandcastle built right next to some seashells spelling out a strained contrivance of a “threat” against the president. And this is while it’s very fair to question whether they’ll even get an indictment.

Still, it says a lot and nothing good about the whole “This is justice and it’s only weaponization when Democrats do it” crew that, after a fucking decade of “HILLARY IS SO SCREWED” that Cassidy Hutchinson, a woman who House Speaker Mike Johnson told his guys to leave alone because he feared she could retaliate by dumping a ton of sexually harassing texts sent to her from Republican congressman while she was an aide on Capitol Hill (and then they criminally referred her to the DOJ anyway) is a target of regime legal harassment four years after the ketchup massacre testimony.

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Super intelligent president designates new enemies

“The White House considers anyone that uses the term, ‘Artificial Intelligence,’ as opposed to the highly accepted new and more accurate term, ‘Super Intelligence,’ THE ENEMY!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Thursday as he flexed his thoughtcrimefighting powers.

Trump then gave the heads up to the actual enemy that they’ll be safe from harm for the next 26 days or so, posting “We are having productive discussions with the Islamic Republic of Iran. I want to make it clear to everybody that, while Iran is in very bad condition, both Economically and Militarily, and while the Blockade will remain in full force and effect, with Oil flowing in Record Numbers of Barrels through the Hormuz Strait (22 Million Barrels, last night alone, with not one barrel coming from, or going to, Iran!), we will not be attacking Iran at any time prior to the Midterm Elections to be held in the United States on November 3rd. IRAN WILL NOT HAVE A NUCLEAR WEAPON!”

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Jaydee’s sophistry muscles clearly pretty worn out

This guy’s knackered from all these years of utterly strenuous rhetorical gymnastics. The neurological equivalent of herniated discs and depleted joint cartilage. Sad to see a legendary athlete of bad faith and bullshit all broken down and struggling like this. Wait toward the end as he denies knowing anything about the Wall Street Journal’s in-depth reporting on Ambassador to Greece Kim Guilfoyle’s racketeering of MAGA courtesans seeking favor with the regime.

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Arizona Dem says she was raped while fixing campaign sign

Bernadette Greene-Placentia, the Dem AZ-8 nominee challenging hardcore MAGA Congressman Abe Hamadeh, tells the Phoenix New Times that she was bludgeoned and raped by two men who grabbed her while she was out personally fixing campaign signs at night in late August.

The details are a little bit too disturbing to share other than to say Greene-Placentia says she thinks one of them men said “Democratic bitch” during the assault, though her memory is otherwise hazy given the concussion she believes she suffered. Greene-Placentia had been in the habit of personally fixing damaged or crooked campaign signs late at night due to the brutal heat of the region – a routine that would have been discernible to any assailants planning such a crime.

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Hurricane Isaias threatens yet another gas price spike

Rapidly intensifying Hurricane Isaias is heading toward Gulf Coast oil and gas infrastructure, threatening as much as 14 percent of American fossil fuel capacity, CNN reports on about the last thing the Trump Regime and its evil cult of a party need with less than four weeks to go.

“There is no slack in the system to make up for lost refinery capacity. Lost production will have to come out of already low commercial inventories,” said Andy Lipow, president of Lipow Oil Associates. The storm “could be a gigantic event. It’s the worst time something like this could happen in 25 years,” said Rob Yawger, director of energy futures at Mizuho Securities.

Would be funnier if somehow non-MAGA voters didn’t have to deal with this shit.

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Orange Warlord considering more Iran strikes this month

Convicted felon President Trump is considering a plan to attack Iran again before Election Day, the Atlantic reports, writing that the minions pushing for it “believe that further action after months of uneasy peace could allow Trump to demonstrate strength and potentially declare some sort of victory, giving Republicans much-needed momentum heading into the election,” lol.

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For You

Remember Parler? Gab? GETTR? FreeTalk45? However many goddamned other right wing social media apps launched in response to late Trump 1.0-era social media “censorship,” of which only Truth Social lives more or less as long as its founder will? Remember when free speech was under attack by corporate America and only through those renegade platforms could you truly speak your mind about COVID vaccine dangers and Dominion Voting Systems and so on?

Shit, the was even a QAnon-themed one too, lol. It’s out of business now, but most of the rest still limp along with however many users still frequent them. Probably only a half-joke to speculate that they’re rife with child pornography and other digital contraband, that being their only use case these days. For political MAGA shitposters, well, the wolf owns the henhouse now. The biggest and best henhouse, so no reason for fanboys to have to keep slumming it in some piece of shit like “MeWe.”

The ketamine-addicted, sociopathic, antisocial wolf who saw the “problem” and decided to throw $40 billion at it so users could open up the app on their phone which, by design, defaults to the “For You” tab and puts that tweet by “Daniel Sprader” just as high and prominently as it is on this article.

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“We are out here fighting for our lives and these dudes are in some random ass country made up of too many consonants”

A number of unnamed GOP operatives whined to Politico Playbook that convicted felon President Trump’s top two political lieutenants Chris LaCivita and James Blair heading to internationally-unrecognized Balkan hellhole Republika Srpska to “advise” them on how to write a six-figure check.

“We are out here fighting for our lives and these dudes are in some random ass country made up of too many consonants no one has ever heard of taking hundreds of thousands of dollars while telling all of us to chill out because they’ve got it. It’s legitimately shocking,” said one of the operatives, obviously more upset over the timing – and apparently the lack of vowels in the Russian-backed pseudo state’s – than the fact that those two assholes were taking foreign blood money.

“If this doesn’t show how checked out Republicans are, not sure what does. Doesn’t look like what you do when you’re about to win a ton of races in the US,” said another anon. A third, presumably via text given the stupid copy-pasted syntax: “Not a good look. I think Chris is doing what Chris has always done — and my guess is after 2 years on the campaign and 2 more in the WH James wanted a taste of $… and honestly I think it may piss DJT off,” with the person not acknowledging the whole reason Blair left his post as Trump Regime political director was to help the GOP win the midterms.

“Newsom just said ‘the Democrats need to focus on ending Trump’s presidency in 28 days’ while these two grifters are out of the country — and we wonder why the MAGA base may have an enthusiasm gap. We need a forensic audit of where the money went so the president has the information to hold people accountable,” said a non-anonymous alcoholic Steve Bannon.

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High-ranking federal law enforcer complies with Great Leader

“Justice Department’s First-Ever Criminally Charged Super-Intelligence Assisted Music Streaming Fraud,” says the headline of a Tuesday DOJ press release that reads “Jamie McDonald, the United States Attorney for the Southern District of New York, announced today that MICHAEL SMITH was sentenced to 18 months in prison for his role in a scheme to defraud music streaming platforms and musicians of royalty payments. On March 19, 2026, SMITH pled guilty to one count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud before US District Judge John G Koeltl, who imposed today’s sentence.”

“‘Michael Smith exploited super intelligence technology to generate a fraud,” said US Attorney Jamie McDonald. ‘By flooding music streaming platforms with automated bots in the place of consumers, and fake songs in the place of creativity, Smith robbed millions in royalty payments from genuine artists and their fans. This Office is committed to ensuring the integrity of all markets, and protecting the public from those who use super intelligence for fraud,'” the press release continued, emphasis added on all three “Gulf of America”-level dumbassery in compliance with the Great Leader’s edicts.

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Paxton caught complaining privately to donors once again

For the third time in not as many weeks, Picasso-faced Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton’s private bitching about, in all but name, convicted felon President Trump’s drag on Paxton’s Senate bid, the corrupt adulterer last month told donors gathered in DC that “It’s not tariffs. … It’s the war, it’s gas prices, it’s diesel,” according to an audio file obtained by the bullet point factory.

“I don’t make the decisions,” said Paxton, who made the decision to commit a shit ton of crimes, cheat on his wife repeatedly, and endanger the seat by successfully primarying far more formidable general election candidate John Cornyn. “When it’s over $6 per gallon for diesel… people are feeling the pinch,” he continued, adding fuel “drives up food prices and everything else.” Pax then said affordability is “by far our biggest problem” and “why we’re having a hard time with numbers.”

“So many factors in this federal race are uncontrollable. I don’t make the decisions, and I don’t know what’s behind some of the decisions,” Paxton said to one attendee at the gathering.

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Top Republican PAC now defending South Carolina

Senate Leadership Fund, the official GOP PAC that has already given up on defending North Carolina, have now shifted their spending to South Carolina, where nepo-hire Senator Darline Graham needs a boost to survive a challenge from Democrat Annie Andrews, Politico reports.

“Anybody that wants to come into South Carolina, we appreciate it. Not gonna argue with it… $5 million is a nothing burger when you look at how much funding there is nationally,” said a Palmetto State GOP operative from the ramparts of the suddenly medium-alert situation for Darline.

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Tom Emmer admits GOP won’t sweep all 13 stolen House seats

House Majority Whip Tom “Whiny Pussy” Emmer on Thursday told Axios that the GOP will not actually win all 13 seats they ganked via convicted felon President Trump’s mid-decade redistricting push. “We’re not gonna win all 13 of those redistricted seats. That’s correct. We’re not,” said Emmer.

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Trump calls South Carolina Dem a “trannie”

The President on Monday posted a “Truth” attacking South Carolina Dem “Annie ‘Trannie’ Andrews” for the crime of running against “our wonderful Darline Graham for the Senate.”

Not sure how much that helps Darline.

The fat bastard later claimed he’s going to pay for his ads through MAGA Inc’s money, rather than taxpayer funds. Wasn’t the whole point of that to own the libs and rub the “Paid for by the US Government” notation in their faces?

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President addresses nation on important issue

“The Ohio Arena was already full to the brim – And yet these people were still trying to get in. The New York Times said, “There were empty seats’ when, in fact, there were none, and thousands of people had to be turned away. The New York Times, and many other Artificial Media Outlets, should be arrested for their dishonesty and disservice to our Country. When Bernie Sanders has 500 to 1,000 people, they make it sound like it’s the biggest event that ever took place. When PRESIDENT DONALD J TRUMP has 50,000 people, they make it sound like nobody showed up!” posted President Trump on Monday, showing courage and leadership on the extremely important issue.

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You’ll never guess who just hired Karoline Leavitt

Okay, you already guessed: The New York Times reports that former White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt – who still hasn’t actually been replaced – is headed to Fox News. Leavitt, whose husband is around the same age as her dad, will start at the propaganda network on November 1st.

In contrast to predecessor Jen Psaki’s MSNow gig, Leavitt will serve as a rotating contributor to various far right programming hours rather than immediate host of her own show. The hire also represents a missed opportunity for Pod Save America host and former Obama speechwriter Jon Lovett to retool his solo series, “Lovett or Leave It,” to a debate format titled “Lovett or Leavitt.”

Such a podcast would have sucked only slightly less than Karoline’s upcoming Fox contributions.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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