“I have just concluded a highly successful discussion with President Vladimir Putin, of Russia, wherein it was agreed that Russia will immediately supply over 300,000 Tons of Diesel Fuel to the American and Global Marketplace, another 500,000 Tons during the month of November, and 1,000,000 Tons immediately thereafter. Additionally, based on the condition of their Diesel Refineries, Russia will then deliver, within a short period of time, 3,000,000 Tons of Diesel Fuel. Between our TOTAL CONTROL of the Strait of Hormuz, and this great announcement on Russian Energy, Diesel Prices for Americans and, indeed, the World, will be COMING DOWN, IN RECORD NUMBERS, AND FAST! Lower prices for Americans, especially our Great Farmers, Ranchers, and Truckers, is my Greatest Priority. This is a very big and important announcement. Additionally, it must be understood, Iran will not have a Nuclear Weapon!” posted the gullible schmuck on Friday.

Huh. Did he remember the whole sanctions thing that makes it illegal to purchase any export from Russia, or is this just another one of those times where federal criminal law is optional?

ABC News claims their pulled story headlined “President Trump’s sons’ investments have won billions in Pentagon contracts since his election” was simply published too early before it was finalized, per Zeteo’s Justin Baragona, which still sounds pretty goddamned fishy considering Disney settled a $15 million nuisance suit with the Orange God Emperor after he was elected.

“Today the Nobel Committee shamed itself beyond repair and demeaned the once great Nobel Peace Prize by giving it to the UN’s Navi Pillay. Pillay is an unabashed hater of America and Israel. In her position she celebrated terrorists and rewarded Hamas. She conducted a phony ‘investigation’ claiming to find that Israel committed genocide and urging prosecution. She has no credibility in any normal sphere and has never done a thing to foster peace. Just the opposite. But what could be expected from a committee that previously gave the once coveted peace prize to Yasser Arafat?”

“President Trump gave us the Abraham Accords, which the world said would be impossible and is now expanding them! He brought home the hostages when all seemed hopeless! He is making best efforts to end the Russia/Ukraine war, to stop Iran, the number one sponsor of international terrorism, and he is trying to rebuild Gaza despite the terrorists’ best efforts to control it. The list goes on and on. These are the kinds of things the Nobel Peace Prize was intended to recognize and reward!!!” posted assclown MAGA lawyer Doug Schoen to his Truth Social account on Friday morning, which was then re-posted by convicted felon President Trump in lieu of Donald himself throwing the annual tantrum in his own words – though nobody should bet against him revisiting it.

Schoen defended Trump during the second impeachment trial in February 2021 and reportedly had an emotional breakdown just prior to showtime on the first day when informed his son would not be given a seat on the Senate floor to observe the proceedings. Small wonder the similarly malformed president continues to look to him for guidance on how to not cope with grievance and entitlement.

Yes, the headline quote is the actual words of Homeland Security Secretary Markwayne Mullin, incorrect on more than on level given that he was not present during the pursuit that led to the ICE shooting of 28 year-old undocumented immigrant Oscar Belgal in Manhattan’s Marble Hill neighborhood on Thursday while Belgal’s five year-old son was sitting in the back seat of the vehicle. Thus there is no “we” to the situation that includes Mullin, nor is the psychotic ICE agent, 30 year-old Brenden Cuni – who still has a Facebook profile – standing on stage with Mullin.

Interesting too about that quote is how, almost in the same breath, Mullin wants to both imply that his deranged stormtrooper would not have fired into a vehicle with a child in the back seat had he known, but also justifying it by saying that fleeing from armed men disguised as construction workers, driving an unmarked vehicle, who did not identify themselves first, is Belgal being an irresponsible parent. MAGA seems to always want it both ways when it comes to these things.

In the fourth of a string of leaks of surreptitiously-recorded audio of Picasso-faced Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton bitching privately to donors about the moribund state of his Senate campaign in DC last month, CNN reports the corrupt asshole complained his vanquished primary rival, soon-to-be-former Senator John Cornyn, “wants me to lose” the general election to Dem James Talarico.

Paxton then lamented how a friend had tried to mend fences by sending a dessert tray to Cornyn’s table while both happened to be dining at the same restaurant and having trouble writing this because laptop’s shaking too much from laughing. Best let CNN’s description carry it: “Paxton said the friend bought Cornyn’s table dessert and sought to thank him for ‘supporting the ticket’ – and for ‘supporting Ken Paxton’ – and Cornyn reacted angrily.” Well, yeah. No shit that would piss anyone off after getting screwed out of their seat by a brazen criminal sociopath who cheated on his wife, lol.

“Cornyn’s face went red. He backed off,” Paxton said. “He said, ‘Paxton’s gonna lose. We need to teach those Republicans a lesson. It’s going to be hard to learn, but they need to know that their decisions have consequences.’ That’s what he’s trying to do,” Pax added of Cornyn’s butthurt.

“The Nobel Peace Prize for 2026 goes to a person who with exceptional courage and integrity has led the way towards a more comprehensive global legal order. This year’s laureate has been instrumental in ensuring that war crimes, crimes against humanity and genocide are prosecuted. The Norwegian Nobel Committee has decided to award the Nobel Peace Prize for 2026 to Navanethem ‘Navi’ Pillay for her efforts to promote peace and international law,” says the Nobel Committee in a statement.

“Navi Pillay’s commitment to universal legal principles and her firm moral compass are constants in a long career. Born into a family of Indian Tamil origin under apartheid in Durban, South Africa, Pillay became a lawyer and legal pioneer, confronting deep structural discrimination, segregation and exclusion. A common thread runs from her early work defending Nelson Mandela and others who stood up against apartheid to her service as a judge in some of the key international court cases of our time.”

Michigan gets top billing because Mike Rogers sort of has a prayer against Abdul El-Sayed, while MAGA Congressman Mike Collin’s doesn’t really have any hope against Jon Ossoff.

“The once Great State of Minnesota is being taken over by Somali Immigrants. There is Violence, Murder, and Mayhem all over the State. The people of Minnesota must fight back. You have been robbed, and abandoned by your State Government. Your Governor is an incompetent thief who doesn’t want to get involved. He just wants to get out of town with as much as he can steal, and then, lead a quiet life. The Somalians should not be allowed to get away with what they are doing. They view you as weak and stupid people. Fight back Minnesota, fight back! If you need, the Federal Government will come to your rescue.”

“Governor Tim Walz, and Mayor of Minneapolis, Jacob Frey, must immediately ask for Federal help – and leave the rest to us!” posted the Cialis-user-in-chief on Thursday.

Why all the passivity? Why do Walz and Frey need to ask for help instead of Trump just imposing the “help” on them? And what was the point of the ICE deployment late last year/early this year (other than murdering two American citizens)? Why isn’t the Minneapolis metro still occupied by Trump’s legions if the “ Violence, Murder, and Mayhem” are still rampant?

Former Trump Admin aide-turned-January 6th Select Committee witness Cassidy Hutchinson is the subject of a lying-to-Congress case being presented to a federal grand jury in DC, Punchbowl News reports on the Reich attempting to avenge the damning 2022 testimony that painted the Orange God Emperor as an unhinged lunatic that in retrospect does not at all seem far-fetched.

Hutchinson, as Punchbowl’s Laura Weiss notes, has not herself been called into testify before the grand jury that has already heard evidence on Tuesday and will hear more later this month. Weiss did not detail any specifics of the accusations against the 29-ish years old ex-Republican, nor why the DOJ’s Civil Rights division – headed by fascist scumbag Harmeet Dhillon – is on the case.

Hard to imagine what the material lies are other than that they’re all but certainly a particularly shitty sandcastle built right next to some seashells spelling out a strained contrivance of a “threat” against the president. And this is while it’s very fair to question whether they’ll even get an indictment.

Still, it says a lot and nothing good about the whole “This is justice and it’s only weaponization when Democrats do it” crew that, after a fucking decade of “HILLARY IS SO SCREWED” that Cassidy Hutchinson, a woman who House Speaker Mike Johnson told his guys to leave alone because he feared she could retaliate by dumping a ton of sexually harassing texts sent to her from Republican congressman while she was an aide on Capitol Hill (and then they criminally referred her to the DOJ anyway) is a target of regime legal harassment four years after the ketchup massacre testimony.

“The White House considers anyone that uses the term, ‘Artificial Intelligence,’ as opposed to the highly accepted new and more accurate term, ‘Super Intelligence,’ THE ENEMY!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Thursday as he flexed his thoughtcrimefighting powers.

Trump then gave the heads up to the actual enemy that they’ll be safe from harm for the next 26 days or so, posting “We are having productive discussions with the Islamic Republic of Iran. I want to make it clear to everybody that, while Iran is in very bad condition, both Economically and Militarily, and while the Blockade will remain in full force and effect, with Oil flowing in Record Numbers of Barrels through the Hormuz Strait (22 Million Barrels, last night alone, with not one barrel coming from, or going to, Iran!), we will not be attacking Iran at any time prior to the Midterm Elections to be held in the United States on November 3rd. IRAN WILL NOT HAVE A NUCLEAR WEAPON!”

This guy’s knackered from all these years of utterly strenuous rhetorical gymnastics. The neurological equivalent of herniated discs and depleted joint cartilage. Sad to see a legendary athlete of bad faith and bullshit all broken down and struggling like this. Wait toward the end as he denies knowing anything about the Wall Street Journal’s in-depth reporting on Ambassador to Greece Kim Guilfoyle’s racketeering of MAGA courtesans seeking favor with the regime.

Bernadette Greene-Placentia, the Dem AZ-8 nominee challenging hardcore MAGA Congressman Abe Hamadeh, tells the Phoenix New Times that she was bludgeoned and raped by two men who grabbed her while she was out personally fixing campaign signs at night in late August.

The details are a little bit too disturbing to share other than to say Greene-Placentia says she thinks one of them men said “Democratic bitch” during the assault, though her memory is otherwise hazy given the concussion she believes she suffered. Greene-Placentia had been in the habit of personally fixing damaged or crooked campaign signs late at night due to the brutal heat of the region – a routine that would have been discernible to any assailants planning such a crime.

Rapidly intensifying Hurricane Isaias is heading toward Gulf Coast oil and gas infrastructure, threatening as much as 14 percent of American fossil fuel capacity, CNN reports on about the last thing the Trump Regime and its evil cult of a party need with less than four weeks to go.

“There is no slack in the system to make up for lost refinery capacity. Lost production will have to come out of already low commercial inventories,” said Andy Lipow, president of Lipow Oil Associates. The storm “could be a gigantic event. It’s the worst time something like this could happen in 25 years,” said Rob Yawger, director of energy futures at Mizuho Securities.

Would be funnier if somehow non-MAGA voters didn’t have to deal with this shit.

Convicted felon President Trump is considering a plan to attack Iran again before Election Day, the Atlantic reports, writing that the minions pushing for it “believe that further action after months of uneasy peace could allow Trump to demonstrate strength and potentially declare some sort of victory, giving Republicans much-needed momentum heading into the election,” lol.

I have over 20 democrat friends. All but one has confided that they will vote red this election. The reason? They want their 5k check!

VOTE RED! VOTE MAGA! GET YOUR 5K

— Daniel Sprader 🇺🇸 (@DanielSprarc) October 5, 2026

Remember Parler? Gab? GETTR? FreeTalk45? However many goddamned other right wing social media apps launched in response to late Trump 1.0-era social media “censorship,” of which only Truth Social lives more or less as long as its founder will? Remember when free speech was under attack by corporate America and only through those renegade platforms could you truly speak your mind about COVID vaccine dangers and Dominion Voting Systems and so on?

Shit, the was even a QAnon-themed one too, lol. It’s out of business now, but most of the rest still limp along with however many users still frequent them. Probably only a half-joke to speculate that they’re rife with child pornography and other digital contraband, that being their only use case these days. For political MAGA shitposters, well, the wolf owns the henhouse now. The biggest and best henhouse, so no reason for fanboys to have to keep slumming it in some piece of shit like “MeWe.”

The ketamine-addicted, sociopathic, antisocial wolf who saw the “problem” and decided to throw $40 billion at it so users could open up the app on their phone which, by design, defaults to the “For You” tab and puts that tweet by “Daniel Sprader” just as high and prominently as it is on this article.

A number of unnamed GOP operatives whined to Politico Playbook that convicted felon President Trump’s top two political lieutenants Chris LaCivita and James Blair heading to internationally-unrecognized Balkan hellhole Republika Srpska to “advise” them on how to write a six-figure check.

“We are out here fighting for our lives and these dudes are in some random ass country made up of too many consonants no one has ever heard of taking hundreds of thousands of dollars while telling all of us to chill out because they’ve got it. It’s legitimately shocking,” said one of the operatives, obviously more upset over the timing – and apparently the lack of vowels in the Russian-backed pseudo state’s – than the fact that those two assholes were taking foreign blood money.

“If this doesn’t show how checked out Republicans are, not sure what does. Doesn’t look like what you do when you’re about to win a ton of races in the US,” said another anon. A third, presumably via text given the stupid copy-pasted syntax: “Not a good look. I think Chris is doing what Chris has always done — and my guess is after 2 years on the campaign and 2 more in the WH James wanted a taste of $… and honestly I think it may piss DJT off,” with the person not acknowledging the whole reason Blair left his post as Trump Regime political director was to help the GOP win the midterms.

“Newsom just said ‘the Democrats need to focus on ending Trump’s presidency in 28 days’ while these two grifters are out of the country — and we wonder why the MAGA base may have an enthusiasm gap. We need a forensic audit of where the money went so the president has the information to hold people accountable,” said a non-anonymous alcoholic Steve Bannon.

“Justice Department’s First-Ever Criminally Charged Super-Intelligence Assisted Music Streaming Fraud,” says the headline of a Tuesday DOJ press release that reads “Jamie McDonald, the United States Attorney for the Southern District of New York, announced today that MICHAEL SMITH was sentenced to 18 months in prison for his role in a scheme to defraud music streaming platforms and musicians of royalty payments. On March 19, 2026, SMITH pled guilty to one count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud before US District Judge John G Koeltl, who imposed today’s sentence.”

“‘Michael Smith exploited super intelligence technology to generate a fraud,” said US Attorney Jamie McDonald. ‘By flooding music streaming platforms with automated bots in the place of consumers, and fake songs in the place of creativity, Smith robbed millions in royalty payments from genuine artists and their fans. This Office is committed to ensuring the integrity of all markets, and protecting the public from those who use super intelligence for fraud,'” the press release continued, emphasis added on all three “Gulf of America”-level dumbassery in compliance with the Great Leader’s edicts.