Again??

Non-binary ex-Biden official Sam Brinton arrested for yet another baggage theft | Fox News https://t.co/ROpuRy1nre

— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) June 5, 2023

Prosecutors with both Fulton County, Georgia District Attorney Fani Willis and Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith’s teams are looking at the two post-2020 election reviews conducted by consultants at the Berkeley Group and Simpatico Software which found no evidence of a “Stollen election” in their investigations into the Trump Regime’s coup attempt, the Washington Post reports.

That Smith’s team are looking into the reviews – which obviously the Trump campaign never publicly released because their findings ran contra to the public line they still to this day push about the election – has been previously reported, however the Fulton DA’s interest in it is new and tracks with last week’s report that Willis was looking outside of Georgia for additional evidence as part of a possible RICO prosecution of the Orange God Emperor and his minions.

Officials in Virginia’s Shenandoah Valley region on Monday confirmed to the AP there were no survivors found of the four people on board a Cessna Citation jet owned by big time Florida Trump donor John Rumpel, who said his daughter, granddaughter, their nanny, and a pilot had been on the craft when it had inexplicably turned around Sunday afternoon while on approach to Long Island’s MacArthur Airport after flying from Elizabethton, Tennessee, likely due to depressurization.

The Cessna’s drift back in the direction it came took it right over the DC area, prompting fighter jets to scramble at supersonic speeds and the loud boom which startled many across the region on Sunday afternoon. “The pilot was unresponsive and the Cessna subsequently crashed near the George Washington National Forest, Virginia. NORAD attempted to establish contact with the pilot until the aircraft crashed,” said a spokesperson for NORAD in a statement after the chase.

Monday’s edition of Politico Playbook uses the word “Burgumentum” to describe what Republican North Dakota Governor Doug Burgum should want to be feeling ahead of the not-very-hotly-anticipated launch of his 2024 GOP presidential primary campaign this week. “Burgumentum” isn’t as lively or exciting as our preferred “Burgumania” but it still works to convey that magic combination of energy and utter pointlessness that comes to mind when you think of Burgum 2024.

In a lengthy text leaked to the Daily Beast, white nationalist Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene tells her fellow scumbag House Republican Matt Gaetz she’s done with Steve Bannon and everyone else ragging on her for voting yes on the debt ceiling bill last week.

“Steve [Bannon], [Laura] Loomer, and any other POS attacking me will not beat me,” Sporkfoot wrote to her statutory. “Because of that people have been reaching out to me because they don’t like what Steve is doing to me… I’m at a place in my life where removing toxic and bad people out of my life makes me very happy… I donated to We Build The Wall campaign. I remember how it said 100% of the donations went to building the wall. I was one of the many naive people that believed in people and movements because I hoped so badly good things could happen.”

“Steve [Bannon] and I aren’t getting back together. And if he keeps it up I’ll take the house and kids. I hope you send it to Steve. Because I’m done,” the QAdulteress concluded.

Former South Carolina Governor Nimrata “Nikki” Haley’s “town hall” event hosted by Jake Tapper is on CNN right now. It started an hour and 51 minutes ago actually. Might even be over already.

Literally hundreds, maybe even a few thousand, of her fans are probably watching with excitement and have been riveted by her not answering a question about whether or not she’d sign a national six week abortion ban, saying gun-free zones are to blame for school shootings, being unable to define what “woke” means to her, and other lowlights. Nimrataheads must’ve loved it.

A Chinese guided missile destroyer nearly caused a collision with the USS Chung-Hoon, a US Navy Aegis destroyer, during a joint US-Canada training exercise in international waters in the Taiwan Strait, officials say.  Video from the Canadian outlet Global News, recorded from the Canadian ship HMCS Montreal, shows the Chinese ship Luyang III passing about 150 yards in front of the bow of the Chung-Hoon.  Journalists and observers on the Canadian vessel report a radio signal from the Chinese ship indicated the maneuver was intentional.  It’s the latest provocation from the Chinese military against Western ships supporting the Taiwanese government.

California officials believe that sixteen South American migrants carrying documents from the government of the State of Florida who were left at the steps of a Sacramento Catholic church on Friday are likely pawns of Republican Florida Governor and dwarf angry Ron DeSantis and his quest to secure support from the xenophobic GOP base, Politico reports.

Partnering with his fellow click-bait seeking Republican, Texas Governor Greg Abbott, DeSantis shipped unwitting migrants around the country on false on promises that they would be transported to American cities where relatives or sponsors lived.  Instead, they were shipped on planes to places where DeSantis and Abbott expected to “own the libs” by randomly and without notice dropping shipments of migrants in cities unprepared to help them.  Using taxpayer money allocated by the GOP-dominated Florida legislature, DeSantis so badly wanted to get cred among right-wing zealots for abusing migrants that he dropped off a planeload he had flown from Texas in Martha’s Vineyard after promising them they would be transported to Boston, more than an hour’s drive away.

Footage of high school dropout Congresswoman Lauren Boebert rushing up the steps of the Capitol last Wednesday, May 31st, as she tried in vain to make it in to vote in the debt ceiling and spending bill (which would’ve passed with or without her). The dumbass on Sunday tried to spin her absence as being a “no-show protest” for a bill she called “fake news.” Again, we’re still a little confused as to why other outlets are acting like the reason behind Boebert’s failure to vote was a big mystery when court records show she had to be in Colorado that day for an initial hearing in her divorce case.

The federal grand jury impaneled by Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith to examine evidence and testimony concerning disgraced former President Trump’s theft of classified government documents will reconvene this week to do something, NBC News isn’t saying what.

We’ve never seen reporting before that this particular grand jury is simply “meeting,” all of it was this or that witness (or possible target) was testifying, mostly after the fact. It’s hard not to see a parallel to the round-the-clock watch with the Manhattan grand jury just prior to Trump getting indicted over the Stormy Daniels payoffs back in March. Coupled with more increasingly damning details leaking out last week, you might do well to stay tuned for Jack Smith to finally drop the hammer.

“I probably better not comment on that,” Senate GOP second-in-command John Thune told the Washington Post when asked if he regretted letting putative Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy take the lead on negotiating the debt ceiling/spending bill signed by President Biden on Saturday.

Palin of the Rockies Lauren Boebert, the Republican Colorado Congressman better known for her frequent foibles with her “Mean Girls” attitude than any legislation, announced that the story of her conception is a lie and former professional wrestler Stan Lane is not her biological father according to a recently-done blood test, the Daily Beast reports.

Boebert’s mother, Shawn Roberts Bentz, had sought child support from Lane back in the 1980s, but a blood test did not prove paternity.  Bentz, however, always questioned the test given that a lab technician had been caught switching blood samples for bribes in another case.  However, the latest tests were conclusive:  Lane is not Boebert’s father, and no one is taking credit for siring the child.

Not knowing her father becomes the latest chapter in a life that led her to marry a 24-year-old man who pleaded guilty to charges after whipping out his penis in front of teenage friends of his then-high school student girlfriend, who he impregnated at 17, abandoned at 36 after a series of scandals, and who is now a 36-year old grandmother after her aforementioned son impregnated his 15-year-old girlfriend because of family values.

A 66-year-old New Hampshire veteran was charged with phoning in threats to an unspecified Senator, angry at the legislator’s blocking of promotions and veterans entitlement programs, CNN reports.

Brian Landry allegedly called the Senator’s office and left a message saying, “Hey stupid. I’m a veteran sniper. And unless you change your ways, I got my scope pointed in your direction, and I’m coming to get you.”  When questioned by police, Landry could not deny that was a direct quote, but he said he “may have said” those words, saying he was angry because “he saw on the news that [the Senator] is blocking military promotions.”

The police report does not name the Senator, saying only that it was a member elected in 2021, but the profile matches that of Republican Alabama football coach Tommy Tuberville.

What an inspiring speech by the would-be leader of a nation besieged on all sides by the woke. May these words echo for generations so never again does woke threaten our civilization. Even more so than other statesman Mike Pence’s stirring description of riding and roasting on the ride.

BREAKING NOOSE: Swinging around in Iowa on Saturday, Mike Pence announced that he’s going to announce his 2024 campaign in the state next week, the New York Times’ Shane Goldmacher reports on the former Veep’s bid to rope in support from other Conservative Evangelical weirdos.

Putting an end to the economy-threatening theatrics of the Republican Temper Tantrum Caucus, President Joe Biden signed into law the legislation raising the debt ceiling until after the 2024 election, thereby handing Republicans another defeat and ensuring a House battle over the tenuous speakership of Kevin McCarthy, CNN reports.

Donning a t-shirt emblazoned with  “Compromise is just another word for surrender,” a Florida Man was arrested after pointing a loaded handgun at a neighbor’s head after a friend momentarily drove her car onto his driveway while backing out of her driveway across the street, WJXT in Jacksonville reports.  Welcome to Florida, where anyone can carry a gun at anytime with no license, training or cause.

Video of the incident shows a car preparing to back out o the neighbor’s driveway when 60-year-old Palm Coast resident Terry Vetsch approaches the car from the house immediately across the street before turning and driving down the street after Vetsch banged on the car.  Walking onto the neighbor’s property, Vetsch bangs the back of the SUV, apparently with the gun in his hand, and appears to yell at the driver.  After he retreats to his driveway, the neighbor approaches Vetsch to ask him what the fuck his problem is, and he pulls a gun from the pocket of his shorts while she is still in the street and points it at her head.

As an early victory in LGBTQ Pride Month, a federal judge in Tennessee has ruled unconstitutional the state law banning the millennia-old entertainment genre of drag from public areas and from where children may view them, Politico reports.

Judge Thomas Parker, a Trump appointee, said the state law against “adult cabaret entertainment” was “unconstitutionally vague and substantially overbroad” in his decision on a lawsuit brought by a Friends of George’s, a Memphis-based LGBTQ+ performance group.  Parker said the law illegally prohibited artistic expressions  and that “[s]uch speech is protected by the First Amendment.”

In a Saturday piece in Politico titled “If the Government Has UFO Crash Materials, It’s Time to Reveal Them,” former Clinton and Bush Administration Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense for Intelligence Chris Mellon says he’s referred four witnesses to the Pentagon’s new UAP research office AARO “who claim to have knowledge of a secret US government program involving the analysis and exploitation of materials recovered from off-world craft,” and others about a “secret reverse engineering program” he’s passed along to the intelligence community’s inspector general’s office as well as the staff members of the relevant Congressional committees.

Mellon, a scion of the old-breed plutocrat family (the Mellons in “Carnegie-Mellon”), doesn’t make any further or more sensational claims or get into specifics, though there’s plenty of the old “Just asking questions” in this piece. On one hand it’s certainly not unheard of for a member of a powerful dynasty to go off the reservation and deep into conspiracy batshittery (see Kennedy, Robert Fitzgerald Jr), on the other he had a high-level position at the Pentagon and held it in both Dem and Republican administrations. But so did Mike Flynn and he’s pilled as fuck nowadays.

This isn’t the first we’ve heard of alien technology in the government’s possession in the modern post-2017 “UAP” era, which began with the New York Times actually printing “Under [Bigelow Aerospace founder billionaire Robert] Bigelow’s direction, the company modified buildings in Las Vegas for the storage of metal alloys and other materials that [Military intelligence official Luis] Elizondo and program contractors said had been recovered from unidentified aerial phenomena. Researchers also studied people who said they had experienced physical effects from encounters with the objects and examined them for any physiological changes.” So it would be nice if Mellon would follow up on this at some point in the coming months. We’ll give him some benefit of the doubt until he pulls a James Comer and says he can’t find his whistleblowers.