“The Democrats’ attempt to impeach Secretary of War Pete Hegseth has miserably FAILED! Every single Republican, except Thomas Massie, a major LOSER, voted in favor of Pete. Again, Victories in Venezuela and Iran, the Best Recruitment Numbers in the History of the Military (Long waiting lists to get in!), and Spirit like rarely seen before, led to the EXONERATION of a Great American Patriot.”

“The Democrats continue to weaponize and abuse the United States of America. They must be stopped!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday after 11 Dems fucked up and failed to show up for the vote… Oh well. There’s always January for Pete to be unexonerated.

The champ of MAGA douchery has wrestled his way to the top as none other than spendex-wearing grapple-freak Jim Jordan is now the House GOP’s minority leader next Congress.

Roy Cohn’s former pool boy Roger Stone this week told Axios that “Many Democrat lawmakers are going to find themselves under indictment and fighting conviction. Watch,” as the color quote for the bullet point about “a preemptive warning that the Trump administration will target anyone, including elected members of Congress who target them,” despite the very robust record of failure by the Regime’s DOJ. On that note the Times reports there have been no fewer than three no bills in the District of Columbia over the last two weeks alone. None of the suspects were named.

Anyway, on the next bullet point, Axios writes “The Republican resistance: Expect very little inside the new Congress. The reason: Most of Trump’s Capitol Hill critics are gone. What’s left is a much smaller, but more Trumpian, band of middle-aged and older white Republicans with margins too small to matter much,” and then in a sub-UL bullet they write “The Trump bet: Congressional Republicans will quickly feel Democrats are overreaching and unify in solidarity with Trump, even if it’s forced or begrudging,” lol. Guess that’s the default operating mode but that’s friggin funny, especially because this was what Marjorie Taylor Greene said when she resigned: How much it’s going to suck for the House GOP having to defend the fat fuck after having lost so badly.

“The Consumer Price Index for All Urban Consumers (CPI-U) increased 0.4 percent on a seasonally adjusted basis in October after rising 0.6 percent in September, the US Bureau of Labor Statistics reported today. The index for shelter rose 0.3 percent in October, accounting for over thirty percent of the monthly all items increase. The food index increased 0.5 percent in October, as the food at home index rose 0.4 percent and the food away from home index increased 0.5 percent. The index for energy increased 0.7 percent over the month following a 5.2-percent increase in September.”

“The index for all items less food and energy rose 0.3 percent in October, as it did in September and August. Indexes that increased over the month include recreation, medical care, motor vehicle insurance, household furnishings and operations, and education. Conversely, the index for used cars and trucks and the index for communication were among the small number of major indexes that decreased in October,” says the Bureau of Labor Statistics in its monthly Bidenflation report.

The Dow Jones consensus had been expecting a 0.3 increase in Bidenflation, per CNBC.

“Dan Sullivan PLUS Dan Sullivan wins the Alaska Election by thousands of votes. All votes going to the Fake Dan Sullivan, which was done solely for the purpose of fraud and confusion, should immediately be given to the Real Dan Sullivan (Senator!) – Likewise the votes of the second fraudulent candidate, also put up by the Dems. There should be no question concerning this Rigged Election. Time is of the essence!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday, the nth time he’s commanded the State of Alaska to declare his chosen minion the winner of the contest.

Fun fact: Fraudulent “Democrat” Eric Hafner, a New Jersey federal prison inmate who’s never set foot in Alaska, came in third place against the state’s at-large Republican Congressman Nick Begich III, with his 15,971 votes counted so far nearly the delta between Begich at 107,187 and independent Bill Hill at 88,904 votes. Libertarian Jim McDermott’s in 4th at 5,863 votes. If all those wasted votes went to Hill, then he would win easily against Begich. There should be no question.

Republican Kentucky soon-to-be-former Congressman Tom Massie on Monday introduced articles of impeachment against binge-drinking date rapist Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth.

Top Trump crony and tech oligarch Jensen Huang – the married Nvidia CEO who over the weekend admitted he’d been effing a Chinese communist secret agent with the same surname – had last October hired a PR firm called Heller that, per Wired, “has a reputation as a fixer for powerful men facing allegations of sexual misconduct” whose founder Risa Heller’s “past clients and people who have sought her advice include former congressman Anthony Weiner, chef Mario Batali, and writer Jeffrey Toobin,” none of whom were accused of leaking national security secrets to sexy spies.

And, more importantly, their careers weren’t actually salvaged by Heller’s intervention. Yes, Toobin’s recovered but that’s because his transgression was pretty victimless and not really all that transgressive by comparison – he thought the Zoom call had ended and started jacking off to internet porn in what he thought was the privacy of his own home. To the extent that Heller may or may not have advised Toobin to apologize and take a very extended break from the media world well, yeah, that worked because he’s been back on CNN plenty of times since his exile.

Batali and Weiner have yet to make similar comebacks and probably never will. Huang’s future is up in the air – maybe the smart move is to believe there’ll be consequences when you see them. Still, what the Heller (hee-hee) did he hire these PR chodes for? Were they still in the “response planning phase” when the Alice Huang story broke last week? If they knew Jensen had been copulating with a Chinese spy shouldn’t the heroic story about how Jensen found out her true allegiance – and immediately had his personal security team zip-tie the evil dragon lady and hand her over to the FBI or DHS – have dropped on a Friday evening? Would be good PR for the PR industry because, fair or not given that their biggest successes would tend toward the ones you never hear about, this Heller outfit’s record is meh – and yet an extremely powerful tech CEO still hired them to do… something.

“Does anybody really believe that this ‘Election’ was honest. How could the Polls be so wrong??? Some early voting ‘dumps’ were so large that it was impossible to win, no matter how many people went to vote. It’s all about the machines, which are far more important than the voter!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday, following six days of mostly full acquiescence to the inevitable and “Too big to rig” end result of his corruption and abuses. While the loudest exceptions to that were Trump’s bitching and moaning over the Alaska Senate situation with the two Dan Sullivans, Trump had also sporadically over the weekend posted screenshots of tweets like this:

Honest question.

Does anyone believe this at all?

Still votes to count but… damn… pic.twitter.com/TBnqaHYCcz

— The Lone Raccoon (@FSociety_1942) November 4, 2026

So yeah, as late of a start Trump’s getting this song-and-dance, sapping a lot of the momentum he’d had with getting his cult on board in 2020, he is, as you can see, starting it. Whether he actually believes it this time is fair to question, it does stink of a certain kind of desperation like the sudden promotion of Stephen Miller to Chief of Staff and the empty threats of prosecuting Dems for merely signaling a shit ton of investigations into targets near and dear to the Orange God Emperor.

A London judge on Monday sentenced Q-pilled formerly Hollywood-marketable star Russell Brand to 10 years and six months in prison following last week’s verdict finding Brand guilty of multiple counts of rape and sexual assault, Sky News reports on the downfall of a top grifter in the MAGA alt-information ecosystem. Even after his indictment, Brand took the stage at last December’s Turning Point USA’s annual AmericaFest to talk to the crowd about his faith in Jesus Christ. Fucking asshole.

Brand, once known to US audiences as the legitimately funny Bono/Sting caricature Aldous Snow in the 2008 comedy Forgetting Sarah Marshall and the less-successful but still sort-of decent 2010 spin-off Get Him to the Greek, saw his career stall out while married to pop star Katy Perry. One report about their divorce described Brand, a sobriety freak, as reliably miserable when showing up to drive Perry home from boozy Hollywood parties. A decade later he’d reinvented himself as a YouTube edgelord with millions of subscribers, who in 2023 reacted to conspiracy theory bullshit about Lahaina, Hawaii being incinerated by a Jewish space laser on loan to a shadowy cabal of ruthless real estate developers by saying “Whether it’s true or not, it feels true, and in terms of results, it is kind of true. There is a conspiracy to keep you poor and benefit rich elites.”

Brand was estimated to have made about $5 million in 2024 off of his videos ripping rich elites.

Fat far-right Florida Congressman Randy Fine on Sunday told Fox NOW that Vice President Couchfucker’s Wednesday postmortem of last week’s Blue Tsunami as “the biggest bunch of gibberish” he’d ever read and “smacked of the kind of thing you would read in 1932 Germany.”

“He blamed the Jews for losing the election. I mean, it’s crazy,” Fine continued. “I will tell you, we lost the election for a lot of reasons but it wasn’t because of the only other country in the world who’s willing to stand up to Muslim terror like we are.” So basically Fine now thinks of Vance the same way he thinks of Ilhan Omar, Zohran Mamdani, Abdul El-Sayed, Rashida Tlaib, and so on.

“Hard stop. Absolute. He’s got to go,” Fine said of Vance, adding he would not be supporting Jaydee’s 2028 campaign (bookmark this, even though it’s probably safe for Fine to say that).

Tens, perhaps even dozens, of actual human listeners and untold thousands of bots will no longer be treated to the soothing, authoritative voice of Katie Miller as the wife of the incoming Reichsmarschall announced on Sunday she will be pulling the plug on the audiocast program.

Attorney General Todd Blanche talked a lot and said so little in response to CNN anchor Dana Bash’s questions on Sunday morning after Republicans got destroyed on Tuesday, asserting that there’ll be some kind of consequence-ishes for the Dems who are speaking to the investigative mandate they’ve been handed by the American people sick of this stupid bullshit.

“The threats being made by the Democrat Party against innocent Republican Donors and Party Members are absolutely unprecedented, and totally illegal. Please report them to the Department of Justice, IMMEDIATELY! If you would like, send them directly to me, your President. These SLEAZEBAGS should go to jail for what they are doing. The Senate must act, and stop being pushed around to the point of the Republican Party losing Elections, and worse! Likewise, the DOJ and House of Representatives,” posted the Orange Karen on Saturday and yes, a DC grand jury is going to jump right on indicting House Judiciary Dems for sending records preservation letters to Todd Blanche ahead of an investigation into, for example, his corrupt deal with Ghislaine Maxwell.

Now THIS is the fun part of winning. Not just the win itself, but the squirming.

“I am pleased to announce that the Great Dana White, a violent Fighter and Warrior, has been offered the job of Press Secretary of the United States. I have requested that he bring with him assistants, even though some are not from our Country, of Islam Makhachev, Khabib Nurmagomedov, Justin Gaethje, Daniel Cormier, Amanda Nunes, and Kayla Harris. We need these people to defend us against the Lunatic Left. Dana will be a Press Secretary like none other. Dana, please take the job!” Trump posted shortly beforehand and God that is just so, so sad.

This week in politics has been so surreal that it’s been more difficult than anticipated to even begin to process it because, well, holy fucking shit. Over the years people on this side of the aisle and on this site got so used to disappointments and cruel twists of fate that it’s just hard to know what to do when something like this happens. Even when going back almost fully a year ago already there were certain signs that, to a certain not-real-journalist, even then seemed unmistakeable.

But expectations were managed and there will soon be a scorecard of National Zero’s correct calls from over the last two years. More important however is the future and all the possibilities it now holds due to the absolute fucking bloodbath that Tuesday was in the history of American politics. As douchey as it so often is to end a headline with a question mark, sometimes it’s a necessary evil. Or not even evil at all because it reflects a sincere uncertainty worth examining and gaming out, rather than some chode Slate or Atlantic writer’s masturbatory exercise in oversharing his inner neuroses.

Because between the all-but-certain-to-be 56 D – 44 R US Senate next year and the map in 2028, it’s really worth asking whether Democrats will need to lower the chamber’s 60-vote threshold to enact their most ambitious reforms – demolishing the Roberts Supreme Court, ending Citizens United, partisan gerrymandering, the free flow of foreign blood money to corrupt shitbags here, adding new states with reliable Dem electorates to the union (the Virgin Islands might be more reliable than Puerto Rico), expanding the House of Representatives well beyond just however many new states are added, and so on. You know, all the reforms needed to break the permanently-entrenched advantages Republicans had that allowed Trump to rise and return to power.

Remember that whole “Fang Fang” thing with Eric Swalwell? Long before Swalwell was revealed to be a rapey piece of shit, Republicans had for years used his 2014 flings with alleged Chinese intel asset Christine Fang, aka “Fang Fang,” as one of their top go-tos during a lull in new content. Naturally while memory-holing Cindy Yang, the Chicom pimp who ran a Florida happy ending parlor frequented by New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft, who had used that connection to wiggle her way into Mar-a-Lago on multiple occasions, at least one of them posing for a pic with Trump.

It’s not clear if Trump’s other billionaire buddy, Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang, has introduced Donald to his newest lady-friend, Alice Huang (no familial relation, not married to Jensen), but per the New York Times, the suspected Chicom intel agent Alice might have gotten access to far more valuable assets in the form of Nvidia’s cutting-edge AI chip technology. Republican Congressmen Brian Mast of Florida, John Moolenaar of Michigan, and Rick Crawford of Arkansas, chairs of the House Foreign Affairs, Chinese Communist Select, and Intel Committees, respectively, are keen to find out, sending Jensen a letter this week requesting he show up for a closed-door hearing later this month.