• Joe Biden’s portrait belongs on currency.
• While conservative propaganda outlets gripe about Kamala Harris’s laugh in a standard misogynistic attack, no one had been able to produce any video or audio of Donald Trump genuinely laughing.
• Nothing screams “entitled” better than complaining that you spend so much donated money on ads that were instantly made outdated.  Well, maybe one thing:  when Stephen Miller is the one complaining.
• Biden is a man of honor, patriotism and service.  Kamala Harris is a woman with the same characteristics.  The name at the top of the ticket changed; the values didn’t.  And no matter how they change the message, the values and goals of Republicans didn’t change either.
  Read More ▶ “Random thoughts Friday, Volume CLXXXIII”

Trump supporter and bedlinen fetishist Mike Lindell avoided being evicted from one of his company’s largest warehouses when he worked out a last-minute deal with his landlord in Shakopee after receiving his final, legally-mandated eviction notice, the Minneapolis Star-Tribune reports.

On Tuesday, Lindell reportedly wired the landlord $250,000, about half of the back rent he’s believed to owe, just as the landlord was planning to take Lindell’s property out of the building as a court’s order was imminent.  However, MyPillow lawyer Doug Wardlow informed the court, “We are in a position to redeem the tenancy,” before the judgment was issued.

Jerry Falwell Jr., the disgraced former head of Liberty University who was fired after a series of administrative, management and sexual scandals arose in 2020, reached a settlement with the school his father founded, the Washington Post reports.  Terms of the deal were not discussed.

Falwell, you may remember, enjoyed watching his wife engaged in carnal relations with a young pool boy named Giancarlo, for whom Falwell later helped finance a hospitality start-up.  He was also photographed with his pants unzipped next to a pregnant member of his staff.  And there was the typical corruption:  self-dealing, directing contracts to friends, misuse of university funds, etc.

A Las Vegas man faces federal charges relating to multiple threats he made against more than ten people he felt threatened adjudicated rapist and GOP honcho Donald Trump, including threats against Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg and New York Judge Juan Merchan, the Associated Press reports.

Thirty-two-year-old Spencer Gear was indicted on 22 federal charges which outlined telephoned threats to eleven people, including a call to New York on the day of Trump’s conviction on 34 felony counts during where he allegedly threatened the lives of Merchan and Bragg. “The defendant does not seem to have respect for the judicial system and for judges,” the magistrate judge noted in scheduling the trial for September 24th.

Former FBI agent Peter Strzok will receive $1.2 million as part of his settlement for a lawsuit he brought for violating his privacy by releasing personal text messages and then firing him for their anti-Trump content, ABC News reports.

Once a member of the Mueller Special Counsel team investigating Donald Trump’s interactions with Russian agents during the 2016 presidential election, Strzok was demoted and then fired after texts with a DOJ lawyer with whom he was having an affair leaked to the media. The anti-Trump messages were from a period before the 2016 election when Strzok was part of an investigation into Hillary Clinton’s private email server.

A frequent target of Donald Trump’s rally rages and mean tweets, Strzok argued that he was fired from the FBI for his political speech, which is protected by the First Amendment.  “The FBI fired Special Agent Strzok because of his protected political speech in violation of his rights under the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States,” the lawsuit argued.

After the Secret Service advised the campaign to move rallies indoors for added security, convicted felon and GOP leader Donald Trump will return to western Pennsylvania for another rally.  It’s unclear who will be responsible for security at the event.

“I will be going back to Butler, Pennsylvania for a big and beautify rally, honoring the soul of our beloved firefighting hero, Corey, and those brave patriots injured two weeks ago,” the criminal carrot posted to his failing social media site.  “What a day it will be–Fight Fight Fight! Stay tuned for details.”

The news comes as Trump’s captured propaganda network reports an unnamed FBI official confirms Trump was wounded by a bullet or fragment of a bullet.  We’ll wait for the official report because there are 787.5 million reasons not be believe Fox.

We enjoy the steadier stream of Democrats appearing on the Fox propaganda network to spill facts in the conservative Bubble.  First it was Eric Swalwell, which prompted the rapist leading the Republican Party to whine that the Fox host was too soft on him.  This time, it’s Colorado Democratic Congressman Jason Crow who informs the Fox audience that Donald Trump is preparing to withdraw from the scheduled presidential debate with presumptive Democratic nominee Kamala Harris because he’s scared to face her.

“What has changed, is my question.  I think the answer is, Donald Trump is afraid.  He’s afraid of this change.  He’s acting like it.  Listen, I’m a combat veteran.  I know fear and fatigue when I see it, and he’s acting tired and he’s acting afraid here.  Y’know someone has to wake him up, and I know he has a hard time staying awake.  Y’know he fell asleep repeatedly at his own nominating convention.  He fell asleep repeatedly at his own criminal trial,” Crow notes, raising a smile from Fox hostess Martha MacCallum.

Investigators with the Riverside City Parks, Recreation and Community Services Department and the California Department of Fish and Wildlife are trying to figure out what the hell caused dozens of geese and ducks that frequent a lake to die en masse over the last few weeks, KABC reports.

“I’ve been feeding them for years, and my husband found one of his favorite ducks face down dead about four or five days ago, and he came to me and screamed that they’re all dead,” Fairmont Park regular Jen Taylor said, adding “two weeks ago it was beautiful. We loved coming here. I can’t even sleep at night because all I think about is all my little friends that have died already.”

And yeah that is definitely very sad but it’s kind of weird that it’s strictly grief keeping her up at night and not like, whatever the fuck it is that killed those animals and whether it could be hazardous to humans living nearby too. That maybe her drinking water might not be safe or that a previously undiscovered volcanic fissure is opening up at the bottom and it caused a thick cloud of carbon dioxide to bubble up to the surface like the 1984 Lake Nyos disaster in Cameroon.

Officials are testing the air and the water to try to see what it was that killed the ducks, but all the theories they have right now is extreme heat or an algae bloom. A nearby fire hydrant has been opened up to continually feed clean water into the lake in hopes of freshening it.

Saboteurs damaged or attempted to damage at least five key junctions of the French rail systems on the day of the Olympics opening ceremonies in Paris, the BBC reports, sending the plans commuters and tourists trying to get around the country haywire, the BBC reports.  Also known as the grand départ, Friday marks the start of the nation’s holiday season when families begin extended vacations.

At four locations, junction boxes, wiring and electronics were damaged by vandals in a coordinated attack designed to paralyze the rail system.  An attack on a fifth station was reportedly interrupted by a rail service team arriving at the location for scheduled maintenance.  Officials said the attacks involved destruction of property, arson, and cable theft designed to paralyze the system.

Hundreds of passengers remained stranded into the evening as state-owned rail company SNCF worked to reroute trains and put the impacted high-speed trains on traditional tracks while the needed repairs occurred.

JD Vance responds to the backlash to his “childless cat ladies” comment by apologizing to cats and then doubling down on attacking women: “I’m sorry, it’s true” pic.twitter.com/JZjqZJOp5y

— Kamala HQ (@KamalaHQ) July 26, 2024

Ed Durr, the onomatopoeically-named MAGA trucker who shocked New Jersey Dems by defeating then-incumbent Dem state Senate President Steve Sweeney in 2021 after spending $153 on his campaign, served one term before he was defeated by a Dem challenger in 2023, announced Friday that he now thinks he can win the state governor’s mansion in 2025, Politico reports.

Durr in 2023 declared “A woman does have a choice! Keep her legs closed,” which would indicate to us that he at the very least faces an uphill battle for the GOP nomination in the blue state.

Brainwormed independent presidential candidate Robert F Kennedy Jr on Friday announced he was not leaving the race just yet, claiming he’s “in it to win it. I lead in popularity and independents are now the largest voting bloc. Momentum is shifting in my favor as I close in on ballot access in all 50 states, I look forward to challenging President Trump and the DNC nominee at the next debate,” the New York Post reports on a sign he hasn’t sold the Orange Slob on nominating him Secretary of Health Human Services in a future MAGA Reich in exchange for dropping out and endorsing Donald.

Kennedy was responding to that “Students for Trump” shitbag Ryan Fournier claiming, based on some Politico article, that Kennedy had canceled several campaign events, which is probably true but more because he’s running out of money rather than ending his doomed third party bid.

In related news, Nebraska’s Secretary of State on Friday announced that Kennedy had qualified for the ballot in the state. Just to speculate semi-baselessly here it’s probably because Republicans there were hoping Joe Biden would still be on the ballot and it was assumed that if he squeaked it out against Trump in November the election would have been won or lost in the state’s 2nd District.

The New York Times’ national poll this week actually put Kennedy at taking more votes away from Trump than Harris, the conventional wisdom being that since Biden dropped out all the lib-leaning Kennedy fans came back home to her while the anti-vax freaks are sticking with Señor Brainworms.

When Harris took office, the nationwide average price of gasoline was $2.39 per gallon.

Today, the average gallon of gas costs $3.51. Over a dollar more.

— GOP (@GOP) July 26, 2024

We already used the headline “Hey let’s just replace every instance of ‘Joe Biden’ with ‘Kamala Harris’ in our tweets to make it sound like she’s president now!” for one of these “articles.” It’s starting to look evergreen for at least the next four months or longer, God willing.

A Chesapeake County, Virginia judge on June 28th was forced to postpone hearings for 13 criminal and traffic offenders – at least one of them for DWI and another for drug possession – and toss the charges for another 11 – including one who had been caught driving with a suspended license and would have faced at the very least a hefty fine, if not up to a year in jail – all because at the last minute the cop who was supposed to there testifying against all of them had told the judge she was going to the Trump rally at nearby Greenbrier Farms, the Virginian-Pilot reports.

One of the defense attorneys there told the Pilot he wasn’t sure if the cop, Chesapeake County Officer Shanon Velez, was attending the rally as a fan or working it as a cop (remember this was before the fat bastard’s ear got shot off). The Pilot got word of this and asked the department in what capacity that Velez was present at the rally they said they weren’t even aware she had blown off her testimony. When they followed up the department simply said it was under investigation.

So there’s your answer. What’s stupid is that the rally started at 4 PM and the court hearings were at least to begin in the morning meaning that rather than simply showing up in uniform to offer to help secure the venue but then just watch the Orange Slob scream at his cult. Instead she probably worse her MAGA hat and “Let’s Go Brandon” t-shirt and waited in line like the other chuds.

“The Sinaloa Cartel pioneered the manufacture of fentanyl and has for years trafficked it into our country, killing hundreds of thousands of Americans and devastating countless communities. The Biden-Harris Administration has taken a relentless, unprecedented, and comprehensive approach to combating the scourge of fentanyl. Today, two of the Cartel’s alleged top leaders – Ismael Zambada Garcia (‘El Mayo’) and Joaquin Guzman Lopez – are in US custody and will be brought to justice.”

“I commend the dedicated, brave agents and officers of Homeland Security Investigations and the FBI whose years of work, alongside others in the law enforcement community, have, at great personal sacrifice, disrupted and dismantled cartel operations across the world,” said Homeland Security Secretary Alex Mayorkas in a statement on the arrests of the cartelito boys.

Like the Democrats themselves, MAGA Land is so back. It’s only fun to pluck comments when fanboys are feeling pissed off and fearful. Save for a brief one-off when the French far right got their balls handed to them in the snap parliamentary elections earlier this month, such moments have been woefully few since Joe Biden’s debate trainwreck in Atlanta. No more. This has been a pretty rough week for the scumbags and God willing the next few months go even worse for them. The below roundup leans a little heavier toward earlier this week given how long it took to compile.

“Hey Dems how about that wasted Primary.. Once again your party sticks a knife in your back.. You people are so gulible and uneductaed.. Now your getting who?? 107 days till the election and you don’t have a candidate .. I laugh at you fools” – Top comment on Newsmax’s article “$46.7 Million Pours in for Harris, Dems,” posted Sunday. They’ve actually raised a shit ton more since then.

“She will get the full Obama treatment from the press starting right now. Can do absolutely no wrong, is the most amazing president in the world, etc… etc… They will also begin scrubbing Biden (how noble of him to step aside)… Pravda has just begun and is about to kick into overdrive” – Top comment on PowerLine Blog’s article “Can Trump Beat Harris?” posted on Monday. Can’t imagine this asshole is happy with the way that things have been going in the media since then.

“Don’t get overconfident. Don’t underestimate their ruthlessness and their ability to control the narrative. We’ve got a long, hard fight ahead of us” – Top comment on Blaze Media’s article “Poll expert dumps cold water on Democrats’ enthusiasm for Kamala Harris,” posted Wednesday. That’s a surprisingly high number of upvotes for a call for circumspection among MAGA voters.

Full circle. @KamalaHarris was one of the earliest Obama supporters in 2007. https://t.co/FbGb8xwMJJ pic.twitter.com/sZ8OPK02US

— James Singer (@Jemsinger) July 26, 2024

In all seriousness this pic posted by Harris campaign “rapid response” guy is indeed “full circle,” and more importantly shows the parallels in their political origins as hard-working local elected officials in big city jurisdictions to state-level office to the Senate to the executive branch.

In a live-streamed 2021 interview unearthed by ABC News even though small-faced dipshit MAGA influencer dipshit Charlie Kirk pulled the video at some point this year, eyeliner wearing Ohio Senator JD Vance in 2021 told Kirk he thinks that childless Americans should pay higher taxes.

“So, you talk about tax policy, let’s tax the things that are bad and not tax the things that are good,” Vance said in the interview, for which ABC was only able to find audio. “If you are making $100,000, $400,000 a year and you’ve got three kids, you should pay a different, lower tax rate than if you are making the same amount of money and you don’t have any kids. It’s that simple.”

Vance’s spokesperson told ABC that “the policy Senator Vance proposed is basically no different than the Child Tax Credit, which Democrats unanimously support,” which isn’t actually the worst response given the time and the context of the Biden Administration pushing it (except if they actually unanimously supported it then it would still be law. Fuck Joe Manchin). Still, it’s not a good look for Vance given the “childless cat lady” shitshow. That Kirk pulled it this year, probably right around the time Vance joined their Orange Allah’s 2024 ticket ought to tell you enough.

Separately, CNN reports that restaurants in Japan, unable to keep up with tourist traffic, have started charging them higher prices than locals – something the restauranteurs are claiming is actually a discount for locals when asked by media after the fact… Similarly, Vance could just fucking take the podium in the Senate and announce his support for reviving the child tax credit if he wants to frame his position similarly as being an incentive to procreate rather than a penalty for not.

An FBI official tells CNN that the Bureau is looking to interview convicted felon former President Trump in a standard operating procedure part to hear from the victim in its investigation of the failed assassination attempt by a Republican incel in Pennsylvania earlier this month.

Guarantee right now that – if he even does sit with agents – he’s going to have at least one lawyer present. The fat fuck is going to think this is some kind of “entrapment” operation against him.

In very much related news, even while there’s plenty of controversy over whether Trump’s ear was struck by a bullet or a piece of glass from a teleprompter during the shooting, the New York Times put together a detailed analysis and concluded the evidence “strongly suggests Mr Trump was grazed by the first of eight bullets fired by the gunman, Thomas Crooks.” National Zero’s editorial position is “who actually gives a fuck” whether it was a bullet or a shard of glass, though we can appreciate why some other anti-MAGA media outlets and personalities are eager to undermine Trump’s messianic “took a bullet for democracy” bullshit song-and-dance. It’s just that to us it’s a distinction without any meaningful difference when we’ve got a lot of other news to cover.

The natives are getting a little restless in the MAGA-est corners of Twitter on Thursday as several prominent propagandists were getting uneasy about the reach of the “Kamala HQ” account – which since Monday has tripled or possibly even quadrupled in followers from its prior iteration as “Biden-Harris HQ” – with these “Hodge Twins” assholes breaking the news to their fellow fanboys.

I think me and my teams resume speaks for itself…

The entire team knows how to get a hold of me.

— Brenden Dilley (@WarlordDilley) July 26, 2024

Far right “Meme General” Brenden Dilley went a little further in a now-deleted quote tweet, asserting he could “fix this in one afternoon and have a team sitting on literally THOUSANDS of hours in finished content… Just sayin.” Why he deleted it, we don’t know, but he may have pushed it too far and Trump’s team got “a hold of” him and told him to shut the fuck up or suffer.