Spandex-wearing grapple-freak Jim Jordan on Wednesday managed to stall buy time to rally his wrestlers at the last second to squash a House Judiciary Dem effort to subpoena Auditioning Attorney General Todd Blanche over the $1.776 billion payout fund to convicted felon President Trump’s cronies and insurrectionists, Meidas Touch’s Scott MacFarlane reports, writing the narrow 18 to 17 escape signals a “Heavy lift for GOP to stop early battle over fund.”

This month’s Quinnipiac University national survey finds convicted felon President Trump’s his lowest ever economic approval rating at 33 percent to 64 percent disapprove among overall respondents and at 73 to 24 percent approve/disapprove among Republicans. Overall job approval is at the lowest of his second term at 34 to 58 percent disapprove, down from 38/55 last month.

Asking for some reason who they want to win the House majority rather than which party’s candidate in their district they plan to vote for in November, QU found Dems leading the GOP 50 to 39 percent. Now believe that or don’t but what’s funny about it is, and from the same sample, the respective Congressional parties’ ratings on “Do you approve or disapprove of the way the Republicans/Democrats in Congress are handling their job?”: 27 percent for R and 20 percent Ds.

Pretty abysmal for both sides and all of that delta is of course driven by voters’ feelings for their respective side at 41 percent Dems approving of Dem electeds to 65 percent GOP voters-to-electeds. But even among indies it’s 19 percent approving Republicans to 18 percent approving of Dems in Congress. And yet by a 52 to 32 percent landslide indies want Dems to win the House.

Blame for Trump on gas prices actually doubled among Republican voters: Last month it was 22 percent (9 percent “a lot” to 13 percent “some”) now it’s at 44 (16/28 percent “a lot”/”some”), while overall the number went up from 65 (51/14 “a lot”/”some”) to 72 percent (55/17 “a lot”/”some”).

Citing “attendance issues,” meaning they know they’re going to lose, Jesus Dork Speaker of the House Mike Johnson’s team of fascist incompetents on Wednesday canceled a vote on the matter of whether convicted felon President Trump was acting under legal authority when he launched a surprise attack on Iran nearly three months ago, Punchbowl’s John Bresnahan reports.

On the other side of the Capitol, Bresnahan’s colleague Samantha Handler heard from Louisiana Senator John Kennedy who said that the $1 billion in funding for the White House ballroom is not happening as Republicans in the chamber simply don’t have the votes. Very sad for the fat princess.

Live view of the “Former Caucus” pic.twitter.com/NLxbVIMSk4

— Chris LaCivita (@ChrisLaCivita) May 20, 2026

Pretty funny for former Trump 2024 co-campaign manager Chris LaCivita, currently serving as a top outside advisor to doomed Texas Senator John Cornhole Cornyn’s desperate bid to survive against Picasso-faced Attorney General Ken Paxton, to be posting this the day after the Orange God Emperor single-handedly sink his principal’s bid by endorsing Paxton with under a week left.

“Shockingly, Republicans have kept the very important position of ‘Parliamentarian’ in the hands of a woman, Elizabeth MacDonough, who was appointed, long ago, by Barack Hussein Obama and a vicious Lunatic known as Senator Harry Reid, who ran the Senate for the Dumocrats with an ‘iron fist.’ Over the years, she has been brutal to Republicans, but not so to the Dumocrats – So why has she not been replaced? There are many fair people who would be qualified for that vital job.”

“The Republicans play a very soft game compared to the Dumocrats. It is their single biggest disadvantage in politics. The Dumocrats cheat, lie, and steal, especially when it comes to Votes in Elections, but stick together, whereas the Republicans allow the Elizabeth MacDonoughs of the World to stay in power, and brutalize us. We need THE SAVE AMERICA ACT passed, and NOW – And, likewise, kill the Filibuster, which would give us everything! If we don’t pass at least one of these two provisions quickly, you will never see another Republican President again. The Dumocrats will end up with 2 additional States, DC and Puerto Rico, and all that entails, including 4 Senators, many Congressmen, and many additional Electoral Votes, and they will also get their dream of a packed United States Supreme Court with their most favorite number – 21 Justices. The Dumocrats will eliminate the Filibuster on the First Day that they get an opportunity to do so. The Republicans aren’t doing it because they say the Dumocrats will never do it, but the Republicans are WRONG.”

“Get smart and tough Republicans, or you’ll all be looking for a job much sooner than you thought possible!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday when he’s supposed to be addressing the US Coast Guard Academy’s commencement ceremony.

Former Cuban President Raul Castro, who is 94 years old and hasn’t wielded power for decades, was indicted by a federal grand jury in Miami on Wednesday for what Reuters reports are charges over a 1996 incident in which Cuban jets shot ​down planes operated by a group of Cuban exiles.

When and how Castro is actually arraigned on those charges in a US federal court is TBD.

Maine pollster Pan Atlantic Research, who claim a solid track record in previous statewide surveys, ran one last week for the crucial Senate contest, finding increasingly weird Dem candidate Graham Platner leading Concern Lady Susan Collins 48 to 41 percent among “respondents who indicated that they were ‘likely,’ ‘very likely,’ or ‘certain’ to vote” in November.

The President of the United States said a lot of stupid shit on Wednesday, continuing a trend which has seen someone who was never particularly sharp or virtuous in the first place degrade mentally at a dizzying pace, prompting him to bleat out that he would have won California if Jesus Christ counted the ballots, that he’s at 99 percent in Israel where he should run for prime minister when this is all over, rip of Fox News reporter because her Republican Congressman husband doesn’t vote MAGA enough and that it was President Barack Obama who withdrew US troops from Afghanistan, not Joe Biden… There’s probably some other shit in the lowlight reel missed in this description.

Having lost the Succession-like battle that was at least partially inspired by the HBO series that was almost entirely inspired by his family, younger Murdoch son James – the supposedly liberal black sheep of the family – tells the New York Times he’s acquiring roughly half of Vox Media, parent of New York Magazine and a shit ton of other properties. Would’ve been better if he’d won the battle for creative control over the ever-increasingly deranged propaganda empire his right wing older brother Lachlan now controls but it’s not nothing. At the very least a direct channel to leak the worst of the worst kind of shit going on inside of the family’s flagship state media brand.

A team of divers from Finland using extra-specialized equipment on Wednesday retrieved the last two bodies remaining out of five Italian divers who had drowned after recklessly swimming more than 160 ft underwater to a cave off the small Indian Ocean nation of the Maldives, the AP reports on the end of the grim and dangerous mission that already took the life of a Maldivian military diver.

The Finnish team, equipped with closed-circuit rebreathers that recycle exhaled breathing gas and removes carbon dioxide through a chemical scrubber, actually dove to an estimated depth of 200 ft to reach the innermost part of the cave system where the bodies of Muriel Oddenino and Giorgia Sommacal were located. The remains of Monica Montefalcone and Federico Gualtieri had been retrieved from the same spot on Tuesday while instructor Gianluca Benedetti was found on Thursday, shortly after the unauthorized excursion that got another guy killed for no good reason.

Rogue Republican Kentucky Congressman Thomas Massie has lost his primary to generic MAGA scumbag Ed Gallrein, CNN projects based on returns showing Gallrein with a prohibitive lead.

“I have worked closely with President Trump through both of his Presidential terms and voted with him more than 99% of the time. He has consistently called me a friend in this race. It is now time for Texas Republican voters to decide if they want a strong nominee to help our GOP candidates down ballot and defeat Talarico in November, or a weak nominee who jeopardizes everything we care about. I trust the Republican voters of Texas,” tweeted freshly-doomed Senator John Cornyn on Tuesday under a half hour after the Orange God Emperor ended Cornyn’s career in a lengthy post.

Emphasis added on the “He has consistently called me a friend in this race,” because lol.

Various Capitol Hill reporters tweeted quotes like “You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out the pathway for Paxton is there, but it’s more uphill, and it will cost more,” from Senator Lindsey Graham, stone-faced silence from Roger Wicker, Lisa Murkowski calling Texas all but lost, and Leader John Thune saying it’s Trump’s decision and nothing else to Punchbowl’s Andrew Desiderio.

“If you know John Thune, that counts as pretty deep anger,” Desiderio wrote of the South Dakotan.

“The Highly Respected Attorney General of Texas, Ken Paxton, an America First Patriot, and someone who has always been extremely loyal to me and our AMAZING MAGA MOVEMENT, is running for the United States Senate… blah blah blah… I know Ken well, have seen him tested at the highest and most difficult levels, and he is a WINNER! Ken is a Strong Supporter of TERMINATING THE FILIBUSTER and, very importantly, THE SAVE AMERICA ACT, something which polls at 87 percent, including Dumocrats, and yet can’t seem to get approved. Perhaps Ken can help move these important elements of Government forward because with the Filibuster, as an example, the Democrats will terminate it on their First Day in Office, giving us two extra States, DC and Puerto Rico, and a greatly enlarged Supreme Court of the United States, probably going with their Dream Number of 21 Justices from the 9 that we currently have — And these new Justices will be Radical Left Lunatics! Two years ago, our Country was DEAD — Now we have the ‘HOTTEST’ Country anywhere in the World — And I want to keep it that way. Ken Paxton will help me do that, MAKING AMERICA BIGGER, BETTER, AND STRONGER THAN EVER BEFORE!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday, effectively ending the contested runoff between the two Texans.

And here’s the hilarious part: “John Cornyn is a good man, and I worked well with him, but he was not supportive of me when times were tough and, despite having the Most Successful Economy in the History of our Country during my First Term and, with all of the many other things that I accomplished (Secure Border, Military Dominance, Space Force, All Time High Stock Markets and 401(k)s, Record Job and Economic Growth, and so many other things that would be impossible to readily list!), which are considered by many to be legendary, John was very late in backing me in what turned out to be a Historic Run for the Republican Nomination, and then, the Presidency, itself, both of which were Landslide Victories and, more importantly, gave us the Country that we have today — THE GOLDEN AGE OF AMERICA (and when we finish up with Iran, which will not be allowed to have a Nuclear Weapon, you will see numbers that have never been generated by our Country before!), as opposed to the DISASTER of the previous Administration,” hahahahahahaha, lol.

Like Jefferson at Monticello, except fatter, dumber, and more mentally ill, President Trump on Tuesday drew upon his polymathic wizardry to speak to his application of the architectural prowess of the classical Mediterranean civilizations to his grand construction project.

This genre of news coverage can get pretty lame, like “OMG AOC UNFOLLOWED NANCY PELOSI!!!!111!!!” is probably not something worth picking up but when a pretty important cabinet-level federal government department unfollows its Secretary’s official account – as the State Department just did with Marco Rubio – well it could mean something. If it’s not a mistake.

In an urgent and panicked letter to the editor of Villages-News.com, Village of Amelia resident Don Bull warns that former Vice President Kamala Harris “just reiterated the goal of the Democrats [sic] Party! Their goal is to do away with the Electoral College, which would eliminate the will of most of the States to have a vote in future elections, thus the largest States, which are Democratic controlled, would decide all elections! Their goal is to do away with the Constitution, as it was written in 1787! Why? Because they hate the most successful country in Gods good earth!”

“They liked the Supreme Court when they had the majority but what is their answer when they lost the majority? Not to try and regain the majority by normal ways it’s done, but pack the court! They will cheat and lie to gain the power they thrive for and the hell with the democratic process! There will be justice coming to a lot of crooked people in the Democratic Party! I can’t wait for the people who perpetrated the disgraceful and illegal activities against the American people,” Bull continued, neglecting to append the prepositional object, the anacoluthon abruptly shifting to “Please! Please!”

“The real Democrats must take back your Party before it becomes the Party of Socialism!” Bull then concluded. Leaving aside that all non-MAGAmericans paying attention were to understand that the Dems were already “the Party of Socialism!” Bull having just understood the gravity of the former Veep’s comments to a webinar summit last week is pretty entertaining because the concept of sweeping reform of the nation’s political system in the form of filibuster abolition, an end to partisan gerrymandering, the effective end of the electoral college (which is happening apace irrespective of anything in Washington), Supreme Court reform/packing, and the addition of states to the union shouldn’t be that surprising as it’s been coming close to conventional wisdom among Dems.

Feeling the need to come up with more fake justifications for some reason, convicted felon President Trump’s regime on Monday issued to Congress an “emergency determination” that 17,500 more white South Africans need to be granted refugee status in the US, CNN reports.

“This escalating hostility heightens the risks to Afrikaners in South Africa, who are already subject to far-reaching government-sponsored race-based discrimination… For these reasons, a revised ceiling of 17,500 is justified by grave humanitarian concerns and in the national interest as detailed in EO 14204 and will further the US foreign policy interests described in that order,” said the report.