Remember that old MAGA yarn about “Soros-paid rallygoers”? Well because every accusation is a confession, Iowa Starting Line reports that a text blast reading “Gentlemen, Jake Swanson here. I wanted to invite you to join me in seeing Vice President JD Vance this afternoon in Des Moines. I do some work for an ethanol company and so if you’re able to join, I will give you $100, and for anyone that you recruit, an additional $25. No limit on referrals, so if someone recruits a group of 20 to show up, that’s $500,” was sent out to an unspecified number of contacts on an unspecified list in his network prior to the Tuesday afternoon rally starring the hillbilly novelist-turned-Numero Dos.

The fact that he was paying them $100 each to show up doesn’t exactly scream that they were friends or at least warm-enough acquaintances who would do Jakey a solid. Nor does it scream that the rally would be well-attended by regular Iowans who wanted to see their beloved Veep.

Let a million conspiracy theories about it actually being all AI-generated video or some shit go forth and prosper as a Utah judge on Friday ruled that “alleged” Charlie Kirk assassin Tyler Robinson’s murder trial will be televised, Fox News reports in anticipation of the ratings.

The shitdicks on the Virginia state Supreme Court on Friday overturned the will of the Old Dominion State’s voters and quashed last month’s redistricting referendum win, reverting the state to the prior maps. This, coupled with the US Supreme Court’s gutting of the Voting Rights Act puts Dems roughly 14 seats in the hole in this year’s redistricting wars, just weeks after the score was roughly even though in all likelihood still nowhere near enough to prevent the House from flipping.

The other upshot is that one of the dickhead justices on the 4-3 majority’s term is up in January and the Dem majority state legislature will appoint a replacement. This ain’t over by a long shot.

In what few had anticipated to be an actual groundbreaking, mindblowing disclosure effort, the Trump Regime on Friday dropped a batch of 162 previously classified UFO-related materials from the military and the FBI, a lot of it subject to heavy redactions and honestly pretty boring.

A 2001 State Department cable reading “On October 28-29, there was an incident alleged by the Georgian Foreign Ministry that Russian aircraft had violated Georgian airspace and bombed areas of the Kodori Gorge. Russians denied any of the claims and said that it could have been UFOs. Cable authors note that Russians typically engage in the ‘bold lie’ when they wish to conceal actions,” is how banal this gets. Next they’ll tell us Jimmy Carter saw a UFO once in the 1960s.

FBI probing Senate Intel Democrats for possible classified leaks, spurred by NSA criminal referral https://t.co/vIYj9Cd573

— John Solomon (@jsolomonReports) May 8, 2026

British Prime Minister Keir Starmer’s Labour party took an absolute beating in Thursday’s local elections, losing control of nine councils and at least 265 seats as the far right Reform UK party flipped friggin 405 seats, the balance of the win coming from the Tories, Sky News reports.

Former FBI Director James Comey is seeking to skip having to drive down to Greenville, North Carolina for his next court appearance Monday in the incredibly effing stupid “8647” Trump “threat” seashells case, the AP reports, adding that embarrassed federal prosecutors agree with him.

It was too late in the day for grandpa to be handling questions from ABC’s Rachel Scott, who the old man called “that bitch” to Interior Secretary Doug Burgum, who laughed on Thursday.

“US military just carried out strikes on Iran’s Qeshm Port and Bandar Abbas: Senior US official tells me, but this is NOT a restarting of the war,” tweeted Fox News’s Jen Griffin, verbatim.

I guess Luke Skywalker was not just the biological son of Darth Vader, but took on the depth of Vader's evil heart. Hollywood produces some sick, sick people. This level of hate is demonic. https://t.co/69MgtdJGsE

— Ambassador Mike Huckabee (@GovMikeHuckabee) May 7, 2026

Brazilian President Luiz Lula on Thursday left the White House more than three hours after an unexplained and unannounced hiatus of a scheduled 11:15 AM joint media availability in the Oval Office with convicted felon President Trump, News Nation reports via clip guy Aaron Rupar.

Shorty after that the fat bastard’s Truth Social account posted “Just concluded my meeting with Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva, the very dynamic President of Brazil. We discussed many topics, including Trade and, specifically, Tariffs. The meeting went very well. Our Representatives are scheduled to get together to discuss certain key elements. Additional meetings will be scheduled over the coming months, as necessary,” the correct spelling and punctuation raising more questions than answers.

Especially the “á” in “Inácio.” That there is one hell of a tell that something is up. Doesn’t necessarily mean anything actually serious – but if it is then you can bet it will leak sooner rather than later.

Ruh-roh. Reuters reports that a Chinese media outlet says an unnamed oil tanker owned by an unnamed Chinese energy concern came under fire in the Strait of Hormuz on Thursday. Further details were unavailable but that was not such a smart move by the Revolutionary Guard Corps.

All nine Supreme Court justices will testify at a Senate Appropriations Committee hearing on May 20th, per Punchbowl’s Samantha Handler. The purpose ostensibly is to talk about their request for increased security funding but, well, even that scope probably opens the door to other questions.

Uncomfortable questions they might just not really feel like answering publicly in front of cameras.

Israeli settlers invaded the Christian village of Taybeh and threatened to kill any residents who returned.

The settler incursion represents the latest government sanctioned attack against West Bank Christians.

Follow: @AFpost
pic.twitter.com/iEabHUubU5

— AF Post (@AFpost) May 7, 2026

Sociopathic liar White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, 28-ish, and her husband, 62-ish, welcomed a new baby girl on Thursday, Fox News reports on the blessed news. The baby, named Vivi, was born on Friday, three days after Karoline’s most recent press conference.

Congrats Karoline and prayers for Vivi, who hopefully won’t ever find out that her mom’s employer once tried to get her cousin’s mom deported out of mere capricious cruelty and it was only the media – that Karoline has a “combative” relationship with – who stopped it. For now.

Mentally ill raccoon dick fetishist Health and Human Services Robert F Kennedy Jr’s “allies in the administration” tell CNN that the whole “MAHA” shitshow has been curtailed ahead of the midterms and that Bobby is being “marginalized” by the Orange God Emperor. This as though Kennedy hadn’t already served his purpose – getting Trump elected in 2024 – so there’s no point in keeping him.

“This lunatic, Hakeem ‘Low IQ’ Jeffries, should be charged with INCITING VIOLENCE! The Radical Left Democrats actually want to Destroy our Country,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Thursday while gas prices continued to increase and he hasn’t struck a peace deal with Iran yet.

Remember in 2024 when convicted felon President Trump promised Americans that if they saved him from dying in prison by returning him to power that gas would go down to $1.84 a gallon? What’s funny is that now not only is the current national average of $4.55 a gallon more than twice that historic sub-$2.00/gallon low – that he and his fanboys failed to mention was during the economic nadir of the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic – but the spike from the so-so $2.98 per gallon prior to his moronic attack on Iran is perilously close to the $1.84 he said Kamala Harris could never deliver.

Yup. At +$1.57 the increase is damn close to the total amount Trump promised to Americans.