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DeSantis fails to protect Floridians from monkeypox

Republican Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will likely refuse to release an accurate count of the number of monkeypox cases in his state–which now number [checking notes] one–as his administration’s policy in address the spread of the virus.

As Axios reports, a person in Broward County has tested positive for monkeypox, a contagious virus for which the smallpox vaccine is 85% effective in preventing serious infection.  DeSantis had previously ordered state officials to alter the way coronavirus infections in the state were reported in an effort to reduce the number of confirmed cases in the state; it’s unknown if he’ll attempt to deny the existence of the disease in the state.

While monkeypox is contagious, it is less contagious than coronavirus, with the spread possible through close bodily contact with an infected person.  The disease creates welts on the skin, but is fatal in less than 1% of infection cases. 

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Blurry Oregon ballot barcodes unreadable by scanner, delaying tally of last week’s primary votes

Thousands of ballots from Oregon’s largest county are unreadable by ballot scanning machines because a bar code on the sheet was printed too blurry for scanners to read, leading to a weeks-long delay in tallying the vote, the Associated Press reports.

The selections from ballots from Clackamas County, the state’s third most-populous county, will have to transferred by hand to proper ballots before they can be entered into the county’s system to compile votes, a process that could take weeks and will likely have a small percentage of transcription errors.

Politicians from all over the political dial have showered blame on Clackamas County Elections Clerk Sherry Hall, who had plenty of time to test and scan the ballots before being mailed out earlier this year.  Hall apparently did not conduct quality control tests on the ballots after they were delivered by the private contractor who printed them. 

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Plane carrying imported baby formula lands in Indiana

A military cargo plane carrying more than 35 tons of baby formula landed in Indiana Sunday morning after flying from Ramstein Air Base in Germany, the first flight under the President Joe Biden’s “Operation Fly Formula,” ABC News reports.

The project comes after the Biden Administration had to cut through the red tape enacted by the previous administration in its unsuccessful trade war with the world, during which Donald Trump brashly implemented stiff tariffs on vital products coming to the United States.

Trump’s trade wars brought on significant product shortages, specifically at the beginning of the coronavirus pandemic that led to everyone from hospitals to private citizens scrambling for things like disinfectant, paper products and food.  It also led to increases in commodities prices for steel, aluminum and other industrial needs.  Trump also gave US farmers tens of billions of dollars in subsidies to offset the loses he caused by shutting down foreign trade markets.

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Jif peanut butter recalled due to salmonella contamination

The Food and Drug Administration issued a recall for Jif peanut butter after at least five people became ill from salmonella poisoning after consuming the product.  The mandatory recall follows a voluntary recall issued by the J.M. Smucker Company Friday.

The FDA reported that five people who had consumed peanut butter developed salmonella, and four were able to pinpoint that the brand of peanut butter consumed was Jif; the fifth did not know the brand.

Testing of samples found that the strain of salmonella was identical to one found at the J.M. Smucker plant in Lexington, Kentucky found in 2010.  The infected lots can be identified by a three digit sequence found in the production code on jars; “425” will be the fifth through seventh numbers on the code.  If you have a jar bearing this code, dispose of the product immediately.

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God punishes Gaylord

God, the all-powerful deity, creator of the Heavens and Earth, unleashed His wrath upon Gaylord, Michigan on Friday, punishing the small town in the northern part of the lower peninsula with for its name promoting a sinful, un-Christian lifestyle with an EF3 tornado, the AP reports. It is unclear if God was angered by the town’s name violating his sacred “Don’t Say Gay” commandment and it were populated by Sodomites or if He construed the name as an insult and that the founders of the town were calling him a “gay Lord”. Either way the tornado ripped through the town, leaving two dead and dozens injured by His wrath. No word yet if local officials are exploring a name change, but “Repentanceville” or “Heteroberg” should be considered.

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Kansas moved away from border, state’s GOP Senator believes

Republican Kansas Senator Roger Marshall, one of the least known members of the august body, believes that Kansas has moved away from the Mexican border recently.  “This is why this is important to Kansas,” Marshall asserts, “and this is why Kansas is no longer a border state.”

Narrator:  “Despite Marshall’s claim, Kansas never sat on an international border.”

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CPAC Hungary features speech by hardcore anti-semite

Supposedly pro-Israel Republicans like fat former President Trump and fan convention organizer Matt Schlapp shared the CPAC Budapest stage (which may or may not have been shaped like a Nazi occult symbol this time around) in Budapest this weekend with notorious right wing Hungarian TV host Zsolt Bayer, best known for calling Jews “stinking excrement”, Roma people “animals”, and said “this the future? Kissing the dirty boots of fucking [n-words] and smiling at them? Being happy about this? Because otherwise they’ll kill you or beat you up?” in response to the 2020 Black Lives Matter protests. Trump dd not attend in person but addressed the crowd by video.

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MAGA Land not pleased to reap the whirlwind

“Why should anyone be surprised when democrats act like criminals”

The current top comment on the Breitbart article “Democrats Interfere in Nevada GOP Gubernatorial Primary in Attempt to Stop Trump-Backed Joe Lombardo“, posted late Saturday, written and upvoted as if Trump fanboys are offended at Dems starting to act like Republicans by taking advantage of shady campaign spending practices permitted under the Citizens United ruling, that “interfering” in an election is somehow morally wrong to them, and like they didn’t freak the fuck out when Dems successfully blocked their attempts to get Kanye West and Green Party nominee Howie Hawkins on the ballot in pretty much every critical swing state in 2020.

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Don Jr’s hunting guide faces five years for rigging 2018 bear hunt

Utah hunting guide Wade Lemon is facing five years in prison for helping make the then-President of the United States’s son Don Jr feel like a man when he baited a bear trap so the idiot could shoot it during a hunt in 2018, the Salt Lake Tribune reports. The Utah Department of Natural Resources doesn’t name Don Jr in the criminal affidavit, so it’s unlikely he’ll ever face any charges, but of course Republican Davis County, Utah ass-kisser district attorney says the cokehead moron “was actually a victim and a now a possible witness in a fraudulent scheme to lead the hunter to believe it was actually a legitimate Wild West hunting situation.” Lemon is apparently dead to rights in the case, as he apparently left a trail camera labeled “Wade Lemon Hunting” – with his own goddamned phone number on it – pointed at a “a pile of grain, oil and pastries” on the day in question.

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Petulant Russia cuts off gas to Finland after NATO application

Russia has cut off the flow of gas to Finland after the Scandinavian country approved its application to the NATO alliance, a move that would put another Western ally directly at Russia’s borders, Reuters reports.

The Russian state gas company Gazprom says it cut gas delivery to Finland because Finland refuses to pay in rubles, a requirement the Kremlin has put in place for exports to bolster the Russian economy.  Last month, Russia cut off Poland and Romania for the same reason, and other European nations have voluntarily cut off Russian energy supplies as punishment for Russia’s invasion of Ukraine.

The move comes as the Kremlin refocuses its efforts in Ukraine from a broad plan to take over the country to concentrating on the eastern Donbas region.  The military effort in Ukraine has largely been unsuccessful, with the Ukrainian military–backed by arms and intelligence from Western nations–have stymied Russian advances.

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Walker’s connection to veterans group he claimed to have founded another in series of exaggerations he’s made to bolster resume

Republican Georgia Senate candidate Herschel Walker has claimed that he has either founded, co-founded, or operated a charity group that has helped thousands of veterans cope with mental health issues, but an investigation by the Associated Press discovered that he is actually just a paid spokesperson.

“About fifteen years ago, I started a program called Patriot Support,” Walker said in an interview with conservative commentator Hugh Hewitt last October.  In an interview with a Savannah television station, Walker claimed, “People need to know I started a military program, a military program that treats (thousands) of soldiers a year.”

Patriot Support is a program started by Universal Health Systems to assist veterans with behavioral health programs.  I hired Walker as a spokesperson, paying him more than $300,000 last year alone.  He has no operational role with UHS or the program.

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Like everything else, Trump making abortion overturn about himself, telling minions it’ll hurt his chances in 2024: report

Fat former President Trump is telling friends his appointing of the three Supreme Court justices that will vote to overturn Roe v Wade is probably going to seriously hurt him in 2024, per a report in Rolling Stone illustrating that, like pretty much everything else, it’s all about him and not the American people. “Suburban women have been a recurring concern for [former] President Trump, including during the 2020 campaign, when his smarter advisers were sounding the alarm to him about how he was losing suburbs. He is… worried women in the suburbs could punish him for this one day,” said a minion to Rolling Stone, which is kind of understating how batshit he went over “suburban housewives” in 2020 with his insane tweets warning that Biden would “abolish” the suburbs and an ad where some crazed leftist broke into an elderly woman’s home and murdered her with a crowbar because Biden defunded 911 call centers.

It’s undeniable that the Donald has been muted on the issue since the news broke of the pending decision on May 2nd, uncharacteristic for him as he doesn’t shut the fuck up ever about his accomplishments in office, real and imagined. “Suburban women – some who voted for me – they don’t like it when we talk about it. That’s a problem sometimes [and that is] important to remember,” the fat bastard reportedly said. There’s probably also the fact that Trump has no personal feelings on it since he likely paid for at least one abortion himself and only appointed the far right justices to appease his Evangelical base. He’s worried – and correctly – he’ll take the blame for this atrocity when it does happen officially because he was pro-choice himself.

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Six percent of Western Texas county’s total population, county executive judge included, arrested for cattle rustling

“On the morning of May 20, 2022, Texas & Southwestern Cattle Raisers Association Special Rangers and assisting agencies, including the Texas Department of Public Safety and the Loving Country Sheriff’s Office, arrested four individuals on charges of theft of livestock and engaging in organized criminal activity. Arrested were Skeet Jones, 71, Jonathon Alvarado, 23, Cody Williams, 31, and Leroy Medlin, 35, all from Loving County, Texas. The arrests came as a result of an ongoing, year-long investigation. The defendants allegedly gathered stray cattle in the area and sold them without following the legal procedures set forth in Chapter 142 of the Texas Agriculture Code, along with other possible violations. Due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, additional details are not being released at this time. Arrest affidavits may be acquired through Loving County, where the charges were filed” says a press release from the Texas & Southwestern Cattle Raisers Association.

Just to clarify for those who may not be familiar – in Texas (and Arkansas) a “County Judge” is the top elected official of a county, not a judicial officer who presides over legal matters, though we’re sure there are plenty of examples of Texas County judges who have served in both capacities. In every other state the same position would be “County Executive” (or “Borough Executve” in Alaska and “Parish Executive” in Louisana) – save for “County Mayor” in Hawaii and Tennessee and “Judge/Executive” in Kentucky. Hawaii and Tennessee have it right, in our opinion. “Executive” is too generic-sounding and “judge” is confusing as fuck, necessitating this extra paragraph.

Loving County, Texas is, at population of 64, the least populous county-level division in the United States, having undertaken Kalawao County, Hawaii (population 82) for the bottom spot after the 2020 census. This means four residents locked up for cattle rustling is fully 6% of the population of Loving County. Funny enough that was also President Joe Biden’s total share of the vote there in 2020: 4 votes for 6%. At 90% Trump in 2020, Loving may or may not be the MAGA-est county in the United States but it has to be up there. The least MAGA-est is Kalawao, in which Biden beat Trump 23 to 1 for a 96% margin. Kalawao for the win. Too bad there’s no Kalawao mayor (the county is administered by the state government), they could’ve trolled Judge Skeet Jones.

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Aussie center-left Labor party crush ruling right wing party

The center-left Australian Laboroo Party led by now Prime Ministeroo-elect Anthony “Crocodile Tony” Albanese are projected to take control of the governmaroo in Saturday’s electoradoo results, ending nine years of rule by the Liberal Party – which, despite their name, are actually right wingers – and Prime Ministeroo Kevin “Crocodile Kevin” Morrison’s tenure, as the Laboroos have taken a 69 to 51 seat lead over the “Libs”, with 18 still to call and 76 needed for a majoritoo, 9News reports.

The bogan cunts who support the “Libs” must be really screaming at the sky-aroo after propagandaroo from Rupert Murdoch couldn’t pull out a win for them and keep Crocodile Kevin in office. Crack open a coldie for the center left kicking the “Libs” in the dongaroos.

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RonAnon’s communications director quits

Insufferable piece of shit Republican Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson’s campaign communications director has resigned just three months into the job, in the latest sign that the right wing conspiracy theorist’s reelection is no sure thing, Heartland Signal reports. Jake Wilkins confirmed to the Signal he quit earlier this month after removing the Johnson campaign from his Twitter bio and liking a bunch of pro-choice tweets. Johnson, a fucking moron told the Wall Street Journal earlier this month he doesn’t think abortion is “the big political issue everybody thinks it is,” probably because he knows on some level an overturn of Roe v Wade is going to be a serious problem for his reelection – which Johnson wasn’t even supposed to be running for in the first place.

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Random thoughts Friday, Volume LXX

  • The GOP effort to “expunge” Trump’s impeachments is literally an attempt to rewrite history.  
  • Under the laws against critical race theory being taught in schools in Florida and Texas, teachers would not be able to address their students’ questions about the Buffalo massacre.  They would not be allowed to address anything relating to race, including condemning the people who murder based on race.
  • White conservatives are scared about becoming the minority in the US because their biggest fear is that the minorities will treat them like they’ve treated minorities their entire lives.  
  • Virtually every GOP candidate for federal office will air a commercial of himself firing an assault rifle at “legislation” they don’t like as if that’s a rational act, and they wonder why their followers eventually turn their guns on people they don’t like. 
Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Biden continues fixing free market shortage of baby formula

18 mins ago

DeSantis fails to protect Floridians from monkeypox

32 mins ago

Even the GOP chairwoman Ronna “not Romney” McDaniel is heaping ridicule on lame duck Madison Cawthorn

1 hour ago

Blurry Oregon ballot barcodes unreadable by scanner, delaying tally of last week’s primary votes

3 hours ago

RINO cuck soyboy Rick Scott agrees Biden duly elected President

4 hours ago

Plane carrying imported baby formula lands in Indiana

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Jif peanut butter recalled due to salmonella contamination

5 hours ago

God punishes Gaylord

5 hours ago

Kansas moved away from border, state’s GOP Senator believes

6 hours ago

CPAC Hungary features speech by hardcore anti-semite

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MAGA Land not pleased to reap the whirlwind

7 hours ago

QAnon con emcee gets lyrics to National Anthem wrong

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Don Jr’s hunting guide faces five years for rigging 2018 bear hunt

21 hours ago

Petulant Russia cuts off gas to Finland after NATO application

22 hours ago

Walker’s connection to veterans group he claimed to have founded another in series of exaggerations he’s made to bolster resume

23 hours ago

Like everything else, Trump making abortion overturn about himself, telling minions it’ll hurt his chances in 2024: report

1 day ago

Six percent of Western Texas county’s total population, county executive judge included, arrested for cattle rustling

1 day ago

Aussie center-left Labor party crush ruling right wing party

1 day ago

RonAnon’s communications director quits

1 day ago

Random thoughts Friday, Volume LXX

2 days ago

Thanks, CBS

2 days ago

MAGA Michigan candidate wants ban on all contraception

2 days ago

HUGE! Campaign manager testifies Hillary PERSONALLY APPROVED the leak of the TRUMP-RUSSIA BANK connection!

2 days ago

Eastman tries to shield hand-written Trump notes from falling into hands of House January 6th investigators

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Republican advocacy group that targeted Cawthorn in primary adjusts its sights to take down Boebert

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Team Oz and Team McCormick both hire Trump 2020 lawyers

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Conservative TikTok poster believes she’s the first person to figure out how to avoid paying federal income tax (She hasn’t)

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Republican Virginia state lawmaker Tim Anderson sues Barnes and Noble to force them to stop selling LGBT-themed books to kids

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Stygian hag Ginni Thomas emailed Arizona lawmakers to get them to overturn election and send fake Trump slate to electoral college

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Clickbait tweet omits actual outcome

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Americans exporting gun violence to Canada, study shows

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The Devil’s not going back down to Georgia… just yet

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US intel pretty sure Putin doesn’t actually care what Russians think

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High school dropout happier to complain than actually help

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Biden authorizes $100 million in military aid to Ukraine

3 days ago

That’s all good, but Joe won’t have a photo op with Kim, so….

3 days ago

Florida man forges pardon from Trump to get out of fraud charges

3 days ago

Montana GOP House candidate Zinke actually California resident

3 days ago

Judge throws out Lindell “frivolous” defamation lawsuits against Smartmatic, Dominion Voting Systems

3 days ago

Socialist Alaska OK’s $3,200 payout to residents from confiscation of corporate profits

3 days ago

Cawthorn trying desperately to maintain relevance

3 days ago

SpaceX paid woman $250K after Musk exposed himself to her

3 days ago

Forced birther claims Washington DC runs on fetus power

3 days ago

January 6th House investigators believe Georgia Republican gave tours of Capitol day before domestic terrorist attack… but it ain’t her

3 days ago

Topless breastfeeding supermom saves pet goose from eagle

3 days ago

Trump reportedly suggested jailing, executing Michigan Secretary of State for not overturning 2020 election results to give him win

3 days ago

“We understand that the use of imagery depicting Mr Soros as a puppet-master at our state convention raised concerns, buuut…”

3 days ago

Every Republican House member votes against bill authorizing FTC to investigate price gouging by oil companies

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Matt Schlapp states abortion ban is conservative counteraction to “Great Replacement Theory” to bolster Real ‘Murican voter rolls

3 days ago

So many incel MAGA boys are heartbroken as the woman they secretly lust over didn’t choose them

3 days ago

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