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Regime abruptly backs down on student visa cancelations

Fat Hitler’s Reich on Friday abruptly reversed course on a wave of student visa cancelations after being hit with a shit ton of lawsuits and injunctions, Politico reports. Most of those who’d had their visas canceled had extremely minor criminal records, mostly misdemeanors and even dismissed cases. Chickenshit Secretary of State Marco Rubio’s team are working on a different policy.

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Faced with rising costs, Trump falls back on trusty strategy

“Gas and grocery prices are WAY DOWN, just like I said they would be. Eggs are plentiful, and down 87 percent. NICE!” posted convicted felon President Trump on his shitty Twitter clone Thursday.

Ah, classic Trump. Faced with a failure of governing on his part, he’s falling back on his tried-and-true strategy: Lie. At $3.17 per gallon, gas is up 5 cents in the national average from when he took office on January 20th. The US Consumer Price Index put food prices up 0.4 percent last month, and the average price of a dozen eggs was $6.22 in March, up from $5.89 in February.

“THE DEMOCRATS ARE FIGHTING LIKE HELL TO KEEP MURDERERS, AND ALL OTHER TYPE OF CRIMINALS, SOLIDLY IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. THEY HAVE GONE CRAZY, AND ARE ONLY GETTING WORSE!!!” the fat shit also posted. Something about the all caps claim that the other people are going crazy and only getting worse really makes this one special. There’s also that it’s a little difficult to take him seriously on that issue when he just lies about the other one.

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Judge orders regime to retrieve second CECOT internee

A Trump-appointed federal judge on Wednesday ordered the fat fuck’s regime to make “a good faith request to the government of El Salvador and to release” a 20 year-old Venezuelan refugee identified only as “Cristian” to “US custody for transport back to the United States to await the adjudication of his asylum application on the merits by USCIS,” ABC News reports.

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Ketamine Brain and Treasury Suckretary got into screaming match

Drug-addicted edglelord Elon Musk and former Soros lieutenant-turned-MAGA Treasury Suckretary Scott Bessent got into an explosive screaming match in the West Wing last week, Axios reports.

“They were not physical in the Oval, but the president saw it, and then they carried it down the hall, and that’s when they did it again,” one source said, with another adding the fight, apparently over that fat fucking loser Gary Shapley‘s four days leading the IRS as acting commissioner “was quite a scene. It was loud. And I mean, loud.” Shapley was a Musk pick vetoed by Bessent.

“Scott won that round,” one source told Axios. “But I would not want a guy like Musk as an enemy.”

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West Virginia governor “grateful” for Trump after FEMA denial

“Governor Patrick Morrisey issued a statement Tuesday evening in response to the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) denying West Virginia’s request for Individual Assistance in Boone, Cabell, Greenbrier, Kanawha, Lincoln, Monroe, and Summers counties, as well as Public Assistance in Cabell and Kanawha counties. The denial comes two months after devastating flooding hit southern West Virginia. ‘Despite today’s notification, I am grateful to the Trump Administration for their strong support for southern West Virginia’s recovery following the February floods,’ said Governor Morrisey. ‘FEMA has offered the ability to appeal this decision, and I will look at all options to do so.’ FEMA has approved Individual Assistance for residents in Logan, McDowell, Mercer, Mingo, Raleigh, Wayne, and Wyoming counties. Public Assistance has been approved for Boone, Greenbrier, Lincoln, Logan, McDowell, Mercer, Mingo, Monroe, Raleigh, Summers, Wayne, and Wyoming counties,” says the governor if the Oxycontin State in a press release.

Notice the absence of anything like “I plan on calling President Trump immediately to have this rectified. West Virginians supported him strongly three elections in a row and I’m confident that if he knows that some piece of shit FEMA bureaucrat denied us it will be fixed quickly.” Hell this press release wouldn’t exist because Morrisey would’ve already called and gotten it fixed.

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Republican California judge guilty of shooting wife during argument

Republican Orange County, California Superior Court Judge Jeffrey Ferguson, who shot his wife Sheryl square in the chest during a drunken argument at their home in front of their 23 year-old son back in August 2023, was convicted Tuesday of second degree murder in his retrial that came less than a month after the first one crashed due to some dickhead juror, the AP reports.

On August 3, 2023, the couple’s son Phil said he witnessed Jeffrey and Sheryl first arguing over dinner at a Mexican place where Jeff made a gun-like hand gesture at her chest. Then at home, the argument flared up again in the living room when Sheryl screamed “Why don’t you point a real gun at me?” Jeff did, pulling a .40 Glock he kept strapped to his ankle and promptly shooting her in the chest. Jeff then dialed 911 and when the dispatcher asked if he shot his wife the judge said he wasn’t ready to discuss it at the time. Before the cops came he then texted his clerk and said “I just lost it. I just shot my wife. I won’t be in tomorrow. I will be in custody. I’m so sorry.”

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Massive 8,500 acre fire rips through central New Jersey

At least 3,000 people were ordered evacuated and 1,320 structures were threatened Tuesday night across Lacey and Barnegat Townships in Ocean County, New Jersey on Tuesday night, NBC10 reports on God’s wrath being inflicted on a Blue State. The fanboys will probably still say that even though this specific county voted 2-1 for convicted felon President Trump in 2024.

Nevertheless this is bad and horses may have been killed. “Someone posted on Facebook that they needed help evacuating their horses, so we took our horse trailer down and got the rest of them out,” said local Leslie Lord DiFrancia as she led a neighbor’s horses out of a farm on the edge of the flames in the Lacey Township area. “It’s nerve-wracking. These horses are our family.”

Considerably more ominous than the fates of some horses: Barnegat police announced that “the status of the power grid in the area of the Oyster Creek nuclear plant is unknown,” meaning that if a wildfire can do to that plant what a tsunami did to Fukushima Daichi in Japan – specifically destroy its backup pump infrastructure – then it’s gonna be a bad time in Jersey for the next 50 millennia.

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Hegseth stops by old job to do some damage control for new one

Just prior to this bit former coworker Brian Kilmeade had to help prime the audience for the damage control by contradictorily admitting that it happened but it was “part of a learning curve.”

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Axios starting to worry that Trump might not be okay

“President Trump is toeing an economic red line that few before him have dared even consider crossing,” Axios reports, fretting so much that they immediately jump to a bullet point with “Why it matters: The mere possibility that Trump could erode the Federal Reserve’s independence has been enough to unnerve investors and tank the stock market.” Ooooh they big scared.

The article is just one medium-long doomscroll about the fat fuck’s mental breakdown being inflicted on the economy. Trump was cute and silly for Axios last year with the deejaying bit but now he’s so frightening for the money business oh noes now they have to take him super seriously…

There’s an old antisemitic “Christ killer” trope about how the Jews weren’t bothered by Jesus’s religious message but the second he went apeshit and trashed all the money changers’ tables in the Temple he was a dead man. And yeah this is comparing Trump to Jesus technically but the trope maps pretty neatly onto the motives of Axios and the financial industry shitbags they serve. They didn’t give a fuck when Trump was sending innocent men to a gulag in El Salvador or revoking foreign students’ visas or firing hundreds of thousands of federal workers for zero actual reason but the second he started fucking with their money they turned on him, the twats.

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Big fat baby calls on bank manager to provide easy solution

“‘Preemptive Cuts’ in Interest Rates are being called for by many. With Energy Costs way down, food prices (including Biden’s egg disaster!) substantially lower, and most other ‘things’ trending down, there is virtually No Inflation. With these costs trending so nicely downward, just what I predicted they would do, there can almost be no inflation, but there can be a SLOWING of the economy unless Mr Too Late, a major loser, lowers interest rates, NOW. Europe has already ‘lowered’ seven times.”

“Powell has always been ‘To Late,’ except when it came to the Election period when he lowered in order to help Sleepy Joe Biden, later Kamala, get elected. How did that work out?” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday while the Dow Jones continued sliding.

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Thinking Tom Emmer’s new nickname should be “Pussywhip”

It works, right? See he’s the House Majority Whip and he’s a total pussy, afraid to answer a simple fucking question about whether or not he supports convicted felon President Trump’s constant threats to send American citizens to a gulag in El Salvador. “Tom ‘Pussywhip’ Emmer” is perfect.

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“Christ follower” plays along until he doesn’t

“Melania and I would like to wish everyone a very Happy Easter! Whether you are heading out to Church or, watching Service from home, may this day be full of Peace and Joy for all who celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. HE IS RISEN!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Sunday, playing along with the legions of batshit evil MAGA “Christians” in his fanbase.

Then he got real in a subsequent post: “Happy Easter to all, including the Radical Left Lunatics who are fighting and scheming so hard to bring Murderers, Drug Lords, Dangerous Prisoners, the Mentally Insane, and well known MS-13 Gang Members and Wife Beaters, back into our Country. Happy Easter also to the WEAK and INEFFECTIVE Judges and Law Enforcement Officials who are allowing this sinister attack on our Nation to continue, an attack so violent that it will never be forgotten! Sleepy Joe Biden purposefully allowed Millions of CRIMINALS to enter our Country, totally unvetted and unchecked, through an Open Borders Policy that will go down in history as the single most calamitous act ever perpetrated upon America. He was, by far, our WORST and most Incompetent President, a man who had absolutely no idea what he was doing – But to him, and to the person that ran and manipulated the Auto Pen (perhaps our REAL President!), and to all of the people who CHEATED in the 2020 Presidential Election in order to get this highly destructive Moron Elected, I wish you, with great love, sincerity, and affection, a very Happy Easter!!!“

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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