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Cotton to the core: Senator vows to hold up Biden nominees because he’s a dick he’s mad about misplaced documents

Republican Arkansas Senator Tom Cotton has vowed to slow down all nominations submitted by President Joe Biden, saying it’s ostensibly because Biden improperly had government documents at his office and his home, but it’s really because Tom Cotton is a six-foot walking penis.

According to Politico, Cotton is suddenly incensed that fewer than 20 documents were found at an office formerly used by Biden and at Biden’s home in Delaware.  The documents, which were never sought by the National Archives, were back in NARA’s possession within a day of being found without the need for court action or million of dollars of taxpayer money going to a doomed legal fight.

“I’m prepared to refuse consent or to fast-track any nominee for any department or agency. And take every step I can on every committee on which I serve to impose consequences on the administration until they provide these documents for the Congress to make our own informed judgment about the risk to national security,” Cotton said.

Cotton has not commented on his potential retaliation against the titular head of the Republican Party, Donald Trump, or his Christian showpony, Mike Pence, for their retention of classified documents.  Trump had 1,500% more classified documents and spent nearly two years fighting efforts to return them to government hands.

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