LIVE UPDATES: Trump defense rests in pieces

Disgraced former President Trump’s criminal trial for paying off a pornstar to stay quiet about two minutes of horrible sex winds down Tuesday as his defense is expected to rest after further abuse of his only fact witness, shitty MAGA lawyer Robert Costello, during cross-exam. It is 99.99999 percent certain the fat fuck won’t testify in his defense. Shame he doesn’t have the balls to do it.

Stay tuned here for the latest developments sourced from the many talented legal reporters present in the courtroom. We may cut out a little earlier than normal after testimony ends.

Next Trump Reich’s FCC chair vows to defeat Soros

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Ashley Madison exec reveals top US adultery hotspots to Fox News

No surprises whatsover from Pizzagate Asshole’s taste in music

Lost penguin deported from Australia

New York Post reports Trump to completely defeat Tren de Aragua gang but then the daydream ended and a cold reality sank in

MAGA Senators still fine-tuning Hegseth defenses

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Fox News reports wokeness ruining country music industry

Philippines Vice President Sara Duterte says she’s ordered assassin to kill President Ferdinand Marcos immediately if/when she is killed

Random thoughts Friday, Volume CCI

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We’re gonna miss him when he’s gone

Hedge fund manager going to play with a lot more people’s money

Maine Republican declared winner of election for state seat by one vote after being arrested for choking wife in October

Canadian Clustertruck captain convicted

Top German conservative activist dies at 96

Guy who can’t get webcasts to work interested in buying MSNBC

Texas Supreme Court gets Ken Paxton out of a jam

Matt Gaetz says he won’t be back in Congress on January 3rd

Judge Merchan indefinitely postpones Trump sentencing

Mike Rogers not under consideration for FBI chief: Trump minion

MAGA Land urges children to sacrifice new toys for America First

Tucker says he told Johnson to “check with Putin” on Ukraine aid

Team Orange “blindsided” by Hegseth rape accusation

Convicted California pedophile faces 740 years to life in prison

New York man actually laser eye-memes fucking Kevin McCarthy

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Matt Gaetz pulls out before things got even more messy

Republicans don’t actually know how mass deportation will work

MAGA propagandists put on nominee defense duty

Barrasso comes out in support of Pete Hegseth

Allegation: Hegseth drugged, sexually assaulted woman

ICC issues arrest warrant for Netanyahu

Bobby Jr agreed that Trump fans are “Nazis” back in 2016

Florida man arrested for planning to bomb Wall Street

Out of control inflation: banana sells for $5 million

House Republicans lining up to sink Gaetz nomination

Not The Onion: Alex Jones sues Sandy Hook families, The Onion

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House Ethics fails to agree to release Gaetz investigation report

Elon Musk got a lot done today

Orange Pharaoh rages over pushback to his shitty picks

Laken Riley’s killer convicted

Bald asshole former acting AG gets NATO ambassador nod

Grindr user “SenatorPartySlut1776” complies with blackmail terms

Freeman and Moss ask judge to hold Rudy in contempt

Jaydee stuck trying to sell Senate GOP on Gaetz

Surprise! Bobby Jr bought into “plandemic” shit in 2020