Porn-star witness Stormy Daniels on Sunday urged Third Lady Melania Trump to pack her bags and leave her convicted felon husband in an interview with trashy British tabloid The Mirror.

“I don’t know what their agreement may or may not be, but Melania needs to leave him. Not because of what he did with me or other women but because he is a convicted felon,” said Stormy, listing the obvious reasons why with “It’s been proven he is abusive, he was found liable for sexual assault and tax fraud and is now a criminal. He’s neither Teflon Don nor Teflon Con anymore.”

Asked why she thinks Melania or Ivanka never showed up in court, Stormy said she “would not want to expose my children to that dangerous environment. And Melanie [sic] and Ivanka are both parents, they’re mothers who have younger children, and that would be my reason. You know, if it was the other way around, even if I wanted to support my spouse or my family member, I would choose the safety and privacy of my child over attending court.” Not sure if this kind of attempt appeal to Trump’s responsibility as a family man would definitely work to piss him off.

Worth a shot though. Asked why she thinks Trump didn’t testify, Stormy says “To my mind, it’s very simple why he didn’t give evidence. He didn’t want to perjure himself. He would have committed perjury. The prosecution would have straight out asked him if Miss Daniels was lying. Did you have a sexual relationship with that woman? He couldn’t tell the truth, and he could not lie either, so he never gave evidence. What happened between me and him wasn’t about the sex, it wasn’t about the hush money, it wasn’t about the NDA, it wasn’t about where he put his little thing. It wasn’t about any of that.” Okay, the “little thing” part would absolutely trigger the fat fuck, lol.