Convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s lawyers are conducting their own internal investigation into whether other lawyer, indicted piece of shit Boris Epshteyn is selling access to their boss, somebody leaked to CNN so the message would get out and presumably Epshteyn could be knifed.

What the fuck, lol. The headline of the story is literally “Trump lawyers investigate allegations that top aide sought financial gain from influence with president-elect, sources say,” written as if this is something new and verboten inside the fat fuck’s crew of misfits and dipshits. Might as well be about Barry Bonds accusing Jose Canseco of using steroids for Christ’s sake. Michael Cohen testified that he raked in millions for doing basically nothing while billing it as “consulting” and everyone was like “Yeah, no shit Trump runs a tight ship of corruption and bribery.”

For those actually interested in the specifics, the accusation is that Epshteyn is shaking down some donor or whoever for $100,000 a month to get access to Trump. If anything that’s a piker rate and maybe Boris’s relative modesty is what so inflamed whoever leaked this. In all seriousness however, Epshteyn and Elon Musk have been butting heads lately so here’s CNN carrying the water for Ketamine Brain or someone in his faction of the Orange God Emperor’s court, maybe Don Jr and Eric.

There’s also the whole Russian-ness of this, and not just because Epshteyn’s a Russian immigrant. If you’re one of Putin’s guys you can fuck around all you want – until a rival gains his favor and accuses you of some transgression, real or imagined. Then you’re lucky if all that happens is your business gets appropriated. If not then you get tossed in the gulag – or out an upper-story window.