The National Weather Service’s Los Angeles office was not at all fucking around on Tuesday, posting a bulletin warning of a “very strong, widespread, and destructive north to northeast windstorm will bring Extremely Critical fire weather conditions to many areas of Los Angeles and eastern Ventura counties Tuesday afternoon into early Wednesday afternoon. This is a PARTICULARLY DANGEROUS SITUATION Red Flag Warning event in many areas, with the combination of very strong upper level wind support, tightening offshore pressure gradients (LAX-Daggett peaking at -7 to -8 mb), and moderate cold air advection. The strongest winds with this event are expected Tuesday afternoon into early Wednesday afternoon when widespread damaging wind gusts of 50 to 80 mph are likely.”

“The San Gabriel mountains, Santa Susana mountains, and foothills of the San Gabriel/San Fernando Valleys will likely see areas of destructive wind gusts between 80 and 100 mph! Due to the very strong upper level wind support and high risk for strong mountain wave activity, typical wind sheltered areas such as portions of the LA basin and San Gabriel Valley. The strong winds will likely result in widespread downed trees/powerlines, as well as widespread power outages. THIS WILL LIKELY BE THE MOST DESTRUCTIVE WINDSTORM SEEN SINCE 2011 WINDSTORM THAT DID EXTENSIVE DAMAGE TO PASADENA AND NEARBY FOOTHILLS OF THE SAN GABRIEL VALLEY.”

“ANY COMMUNITIES ALONG HIGHWAY 118 AND 210 CORRIDORS WILL BE AT HIGHEST RISK FOR COMPARABLE WIND DAMAGE. Humidity levels are also expected to lower to between 10 and 15 percent in many areas by Tuesday afternoon/evening, potentially lowering into single digits in some areas by late Tuesday night into Wednesday,” the very lengthy windstorm advisory continued.

Stay safe SoCal. Smoke your cigarettes indoors and leave the windsurfing board in the garage.