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Shareholders lose $2.4 billion because CEO wasn’t seen with Xi

Investors in Chinese search engine Baidu lost $2.4 billion on Monday after the stock price dropped because founder/CEO Robin Li was not seen at a meeting with Communist overlord Xi Jingping attended by other chieftains Alibaba’s Jack Ma and Huawei’s Ren Zhengfei, Reuters reports.

Li was not seen in media coverage of the meeting. He could’ve been in the men’s room taking a piss when whatever images of it surfaced or stuck in traffic on the ground or in the air or something and still the traders just freaked out and killed 8 percent of the company’s value. So whether or not Li was actually there (Reuters says sources told them that there was “no sign” of him at the sit-down in Beijing, but the selloff began even before they got that tip) he could probably turn things around quick by renaming the Pacific Ocean to the Gulf of China on Baidu maps.

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