“The GDPNow model estimate for real GDP growth (seasonally adjusted annual rate) in the first quarter of 2025 is -3.7 percent on April 1, down from -2.8 percent on March 28. The alternative model forecast, which adjusts for imports and exports of gold as described here, is -1.4 percent.”

“After this morning’s construction spending report from the US Census Bureau and incorporation of the available March data into the models’ dynamic factor model, including manufacturing data from Institute for Supply Management and measures of consumer attitudes from two surveys, both the standard model’s and the alternative model’s forecasts of first-quarter real final sales to private domestic purchasers growth declined from 1.5 percent to 0.4 percent,” says the Atlanta Federal Reserve Bank’s GDPnow forecast updated Monday, which is so insanely Venezuelan.

That’s the replacement for “woke” here, since woke’s so damn overdone. Had considered some other options, like “Atlanta Fed’s latest GDP forecast now even more Jewish,” which works on a few levels – especially when we’re talking about the Federal Reserve – but it’s too tricky. “Palestinian” is dicey. “Hamas” isn’t an adjective. “Socialist” is just as played out as woke. “DEI” isn’t bad but there’s something about “Venezuelan” that just clicks intuitively as an antonym for MAGA. The Atlanta Fed is forecasting negative GDP growth, which means they’re against Trump and America First.

Therefore, they’re Venezuelan. They’re not literally Venezuelan, they’re just sort of Venezuelan-like or pro-Venezuelan… Actually “Tren de Araguan” might be even be snappier there, but that could’ve been swinging a little too hard when this was already a base hit. No need to put it in the stands, yet.