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“Deviated from his intended course shortly after take-off”

Cops in Switzerland have completed their investigation into the death of 24 year-old Scottish wingsuiter Liam Byrne in the Alps last weekend, concluding that the aerial adventurer had “deviated from his intended course shortly after take-off for reasons still unknown and crashed into a rocky outcrop at approximately 2,100 metres above sea level,” People Magazine reports.

Now this is not to mock Byrne’s demise so much as the language that Swiss cops used to describe what happened, like they were purposely seeing if they could be as obliquely and painfully euphemistic as stupid SpaceX with that silly “Rapid unscheduled disassembly” line every time the fuck up a rocket launch. It’s borderline trolling that cannot be the product of a shaky translation job.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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