With possible options like “sober up, take the fucking job seriously, make some high profile arrests, show up to the office more than two days a week,” not really realistic at this point, or ever if we’re really being honest here, comically inept binge drinker FBI Director K$H Patel instead took the first page out of the old man’s damage control handbook and filed an unwinnable defamation lawsuit against the Atlantic, Meidas Touch’s Scott MacFarlane reports. The magazine on Friday described K$H as “conspicuous inebriation and unexplained absences” – and that on at least one occasion they had to bash through the door of his hotel room to wake him up after a night of partying – in an obviously deeply-reported piece that nobody in their right mind would want to sit for a discovery.
“Print it, all false, I’ll see you in court – bring your checkbook,” K$H is quoted in the account.