Top Trump minion Natalie Harp, whose weird role within the Orange God Emperor’s retinue was known to those recognized her as the “Human Printer” who would follow the fat bastard around on the golf course with a cart literally equipped with printer so she could hand him paper copies of tweets praising him, is about as fucking crazy as the renewed coverage of her indicated.

Actually that might be underselling it based on letters from Harp to Trump that the Daily Beast obtained, with one saying “You are all that matters to me… I don’t want to ever let you down.”

“Dear Mr President, I’m sorry. I thought I was the only one left behind last night, and had no idea Margo’s car was also pulled over, and sent back to the Airport. Since I was alone in the van outside Customs without my passport, I panicked, and should have just called Secret Service instead of you. I also am sorry if I was an embarrassment walking the course in Scotland. The first day I was told there were no carts, and people walked, which is why I walked. The second day, I was specifically asked by, I forget who his name was, but one of the main people who worked there, if I could continue walking, and tell any other girls who would head out there to do the same to spare the Course any more Carts. If there is anything else I have done to cause you trouble, please forgive me. I know that some people have said I haven’t been texting them back, and there have been some International cell issues (John was having technical issues on the Plane too, so asked me to help him out),” Harp wrote in another, insanely overexplaining some goddamned picayune mishap from 2023.