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Virginia state Supreme Court greenlights redistricting referendum

The Virginia state Supreme Court on Friday cleared the way for an April 21 referendum to be held on the question of whether the Dem-majority state legislature can override the independent redistricting commission and nuke as many as four of the Old Dominion’s five currently Republican-held Congressional seats. It’s yet another blow to what in retrospect was ill-advised on convicted felon President Trump’s part last year when he commanded Texas Republicans to gerrymander out five Dem seats – a plan that assumed continued 2024 levels of Latino support for the GOP, lol.

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Catturd 💔 Steve Bannon

“And save your breath acting like it was a documentary, i’ve been reading the emails between them, they’re best friends, trying to take down Trump together. It’s so bad. Anyone from the war room who’s trying to justify this, is full of sht. It’s so bad, and there’s no coming back from this,” continued the feline feces-themed conservative thought leader after the tweet embed cutoff.

The URL in the community note links to Catturd tweeting “I stand with Steve Bannon” in June 2024.

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Dubai fires Epstein’s “torture” buddy from state shipping concern

Dubai leadership on Friday canned Sultan Ahmed bin Sulayem from his role as the CEO of the state-owned ports authority after it was revealed Sulayem was the scumbag who wrote “I loved the torture video” in an email to notorious sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, Semafor reports.

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Turning Point situationally against far right conspiracy theorists

A recently-former communications director for Turning Point USA named Aubrey Laitsch came forward earlier this month with a shocking revelation about the massive “conservative youth organization” undertaking a massive purge of believers in extremist conspiracy theories, infringing on their First Amendment rights to just ask questions about the narrative in the establishment media.

Specifically, according to an excellent write-up in the Bulwark this week, it was Laitsch’s just asked questions about “the narrative of what happened to my role model and CEO, Charlie Kirk, on the day of his assassination.” Or at least she says it was. Per Laitsch, the pretext was that an unnamed Turning Point exec had – about a month or two after Kirk’s death – gotten into an Uber whose driver said his daughter was a high school classmate that Laitsch had told the driver’s daughter that the organization was a shitshow. It’s a mess of a story but in any case Laitsch doesn’t buy it and has a “gut feeling” her mid-January firing was due to her just asking questions of who really killed Charlie.

And she’s not from the only one, according to both her and Candace Owens.

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Ken Paxton ad all but straight up falsely says Trump endorsed him

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Former Norwegian prime minister charged over Epstein friendship

Norway’s former Prime Minister Thorbjorn Jagland has been charged with “aggravated corruption” over his lovely friendship with notorious sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, CNN reports on yet another non-American facing actual fucking consequences for hanging out with Jeffrey Epstein.

Cops are investigating “whether gifts, travel and loans were received in connection with his position.” Jagland – who was prime minister from 1996 to 1997, as well as serving as foreign minister and secretary-general of the Council of Europe – has denied he did any real Epstein stuff.

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“Biden was better” and other tales from “Dems in Disarray, Inc”

The Axis of Buzz Alerts – Politico Playbook, Punchbowl, and Axios – appear to have collectively decided to curry favor with ascendant Dems Thursday and Friday, directing their “disarray” narrative onto the bloated old corpse their house accountants abso-fucking-lutely wanted to win in 2024.

First up is Axios, who printed “A year into Trump’s term, voters say Biden was better,” firing off three bullet points supporting their thesis, starting by citing abject Trump ballsucker Mark Penn’s polling firm finding that 51 percent of respondents saying Biden did a better job than Trump is doing. Then it was an even uglier finding from hardcore MAGA pollster Rasmussen Reports finding Biden 48 to Trump 40 percent on a similar question, and lastly the Economist/YouGov at Biden 46 to Trump 40 percent, then another 7 percent saying “about the same.” That could actually kinda sting the most.

On Friday Axios printed “Behind the Curtain: Resistance rising” because “Resistance” drives clicks and “the law of political gravity is starting to apply to Trump.” AXIOS IS SO INSIGHTFUL.

Thursday morning’s Punchbowl AM was about as blunt as possible, writing “Trump is wasting his energy. He can veto any tariff termination resolution and the vast majority of Republicans would absolutely uphold his veto. These resolutions are nothing more than a bad headline for the president. But Trump doesn’t like the optics of any Republicans voting against him. Ever,” accurately portraying him as a mental child and warning if his “approval ratings stay where they are, Republicans may continue to buck him, betting that opposing an unpopular president is smart for the midterms.” What happened to the shining virtuoso at the center of the political solar system?

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Regime’s 7-Eleven conspiracy truther demands accountability

Suspecting a 7-Eleven is an inside job that goes all the way to the top, douchebag Trump Admin pencil pusher General Services Administration deputy chief Michael Lynch tells Fox News he’s sent the chain’s COO a sternly worded letter following an altercation where now-demoted weenie Gregory Bovino and his posse were denied service at a Minneapolis gas station last month.

“As 7-Eleven, Inc/Speedway LLC locations accept the GSA SmartPay fleet card for fuel and other authorized purchases on behalf of Federal fleets – including those operated by the US Department of Homeland Security – these actions raise concerns about the ability of Federal vehicle operators to access necessary fuel and services at convenient locations,” Lynch wrote to COO Doug Rosencrans.

One manager of a Speedway – an affiliate of the 7-Eleven network – gas station in Minnesota told Bovino to get fucked and would not be serving him and his goons and now the MAGA Reich literally thinks it goes all the way to the top. These stupid cocksuckers and their delicate little feelings.

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DHS ceases “clapping back”

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New York-New Jersey Gateway Tunnel project funds unblocked

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime failed to get another stay before a Manhattan judge’s expired on Thursday so the funding to continue constructing the $16 billion Gateway Tunnel project is now unblocked, Politico’s Chris Marquette reports. It does not appear Penn Station will be renamed for Trump either, so really the fat bastard got nothing for his arbitrary hostage-taking.

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Tulsi tried to hide a still-unspecified act of Kushner treason: WSJ

The super-duper secret DNI whistleblower report that shitbag Hindu fascist Tulsi Gabbard is still trying to hide from Congress concerns, as the Wall Street Journal puts it, a “conversation intercepted last spring in which two foreign nationals discussed Jared Kushner.”

Probably wasn’t just Bonesaw and one of his aides trying to remember what brand of hummus Jared prefers to have in his hotel suite when he’s in town for their regular money laundering meetings.

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Pennsylvania Staples tech diagnoses local man’s laptop issues

National office supply retailer Staples is a great source for tech services, which are critical in today’s digital environment. From repairs to preventative maintenance, customers can find the technological services to keep their PCs, Macs, tablets, or mobile device in top shape for when they need help they most. Staples’ priority is getting customers’ technology back up and running, or to help prevent issues before they happen with proper setup and protection services. With over 900 locations nationwide open seven days a week, Staples’s trained tech professionals are ready to tackle your tech troubles and have your device back to you usually within three to five business days!

Unless you got the viruses from downloading thousands of child sexual abuse images, like one Staples troubleshooting pro did when examining a laptop dropped off by 55 year-old Hanover, Pennsylvania man Troy Wesley Tracey. The Hanover Evening Sun reports that the tech had to call law enforcement professionals to examine Tracey and diagnose him with that really pesky rural Caucasian pedophilia virus, hitting him with two felony counts of child pornography possession, all with the help of the friendly tech who told them the child porn sites definitely caused the viruses.

So if you’re not a chomo – or at least one smart enough to simply throw out your laptop with child porn on it and need a clean one fixed – visit Staples.com to find a location near you today!

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Rodriguez says Maduro still legitimate Venezuelan leader

Now actual Venezuelan President Delcy Rodriguez tells NBC News that her former boss, Nicholas Maduro – the guy she sold out to the Trump regime, is still the legitimate leader of the nation.

Even though he’s going to die at ADX Florence and wasn’t really fairly elected in the first place.

“I can tell you President Nicolás Maduro is the legitimate president. I will tell you this as a lawyer, that I am. Both President Maduro and Cilia Flores, the first lady, are both innocent,” Rodriguez told Kristen Welker in an interview taped in Caracas that’ll probably air Sunday. “I can tell you I am in charge of the presidency of Venezuela, as it’s stated clearly in the constitution of Venezuela. And from the amount of work that I have, from how busy I am, I can tell you it’s very, very hard work and we’re doing it completely day by day,” the venomous snake in Maduro’s garden continued.

Rodriguez said she’s “been invited to the States.” Womp womp Maria Corina Machado.

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Judge blocks Hegseth from punishing Mark Kelly

A DC federal judge on Thursday sided with Dem Arizona Senator Mark Kelly and blocked binge-drinking date rapist Secretary of War Defense Pete Hegseth from demoting the decorated retired Navy captain and former NASA astronaut – as well as docking his pension – for having reminded service members of their duty to disobey illegal orders from a tyrannical and incompetent regime in the “Don’t Give Up The Ship” video. That everyone saw this ruling coming is prooooobably why Hegseth’s fellow alcoholic former Fox News host Jeanine Pirro slapped together her amateurish and similarly doomed attempt to punish Kelly – and the five other Dems – through different means.

Wrote District Judge Richard Leon, emphasis his: “United States Senator Mark Kelly, a retired naval officer, has been censured by Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth for voicing certain opinions on military actions and policy. In addition, he has been subjected to proceedings to possibly reduce his retirement rank and pay and threatened with criminal prosecution if he continues to speak out on these issues. Secretary Hegseth relies on the well-established doctrine that military service members enjoy less vigorous First Amendment protections given the fundamental obligation for obedience and discipline in the armed forces. Unfortunately for Secretary Hegseth, no court has ever extended those principles to retired service members, much less a retired service member serving in Congress and exercising oversight responsibility over the military.”

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Surprise! Trump met with Ellison, then lied about it in NBC interview

You will not be surprised to learn that convicted felon President Trump was not what most people would call “honest” when questioned specifically about the Warner Bros-Netflix-Paramount drama during his interview with NBC’s Tom Llamas last week, per CNN media guy Brian Stelter’s newsletter.

“You are close with the Ellisons who are trying to stop a merger between Warner Bros, Discovery, and Netflix. This deal could change the make-up of the media as we know it. Are you personally gonna get involved in that deal?” asked Llamas, to which Trump said “I haven’t been involved. I must say, I guess I’m considered to be a very strong president. I’ve been called by both sides, it’s the two sides, but I’ve decided I shouldn’t be involved. The Justice Department will handle it,” and blah blah blah too senile to recall the word “antitrust” and blah blah blah. Emphasis added on the denials.

The interview, aired prior to the Super Bowl, was taped last Wednesday – timing that Stelter finds interesting because it was most likely after the fat bastard welcomed loyal oligarch Larry Ellison to the White House – as well as two days before the Wall Street Journal reported that the Regime DOJ’s Antitrust division had opened an investigation into Netflix… And just Netflix as it is right now.

Not like an investigation of the streaming giant’s bid to acquire Warner, which is still at a stage far too early for there to be any official regulatory scrutiny from the division. As for Trump’s meeting with Ellison, Stelter’s sources did not provide any detail on what they talked about but you have to be pretty goddamned daft if you think CNN’s future didn’t come up one way or another given that months ago Ellison specifically told Trump he would fire Erin Burnett, Brianna Keilar, and other anchors the fat bastard hates if and when he and his dickhead son can get the keys to the building.

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Mike Johnson posits quantum superpositioned Bondi misconduct

Speaker of the House Mike Johnson on Thursday floated an interesting epistemological hypothesis regarding theoretical inappropriate conduct by Attorney General Pam Bondi having a list of searches of the unredacted Epstein files by Congresswoman Pramila Jayapal in Bondi’s binder during her Wednesday hearing: That IF Johnson were aware of the voluminous photographic evidence that Bondi indeed had such a printout in her binder while sitting at the table during the contentious testimony then it WOULD BE “inappropriate,” in Johnson’s words. However, like many other inexplicably distant video clips, racist rants by convicted felon President Trump, and so on, Johnson asserted unfalsifiably that he remains outside the sphere of awareness of this transgression by Bondi and concordantly she remains outside the sphere of his judgment on inappropriate conduct.

It’s almost like these Hill reporters should have an iPad on hand with whatever it is they already know Johnson is going to say he hasn’t seen yet very clearly displayed on the tablet. Hand it to him first, explain it briefly, THEN ask him to comment. Or print it out if an iPad’s too clunky, whatever.

In related news the House is out on recess for the week and DHS will shut down Friday.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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