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Jesus Dork Speaker of the House Mike Johnson walked into Dem Arizona Senators Ruben Gallego and Mark Kelly’s mini-press conference in the Capitol to walk back on his Tuesday statement that Congresswoman-Elect Adelita Grijalva can be sworn in “whenever she wants” to when the government is reopened, Semafor’s Burgess Everett reports. Sur-fucking-prise on that and the part where Johnson said it had “nothing to do with Epstein,” as in Grijalva being the 218th signatory on Republican Congressman Thomas Massie’s discharge petition to force the Epstein files vote.

Now I need to make a correction too: In yesterday’s article I had expressed some puzzlement over why Dems were making as big a deal out of the nexus to the discharge petition as they are, and thought this was simply political messaging. It’s not like forcing the Republicans on the record as voting against the compelled release of the files isn’t political messaging in itself because then it has to go to the Senate, but that’s an important win no matter what. Where I fucked off is not doing my research on how House discharge petitions work and what happens when Grijalva is sworn in and signs it: That actually is a point of no return. The discharge petition is officially entered into the Congressional record on the 218th signature and the vote becomes inevitable. Johnson can screw around and delay it through an array of other tricks, but that’ll push it back a few months at most.

Unless Crazy Nancy Mace and/or Lauren Boebert can be talked into backing out – Thomas Massie and Marjorie Taylor Greene obviously aren’t up for grabs – swearing in Grijalva is for Johnson like signing the discharge petition himself. Whether buying himself more time works has yet to be seen (and of course Boebert and Mace could just vote no) but he’s buying it by holding out.

“Today we are announcing the arrest of 29 year-old Jonathan Rinderknecht on a criminal complaint charging him with maliciously starting what became the Palisades Fire in January. The complaint alleges that Rinderknecht started a fire in Pacific Palisades on New Year’s Day – a blaze that eventually turned into one of the most destructive fires in Los Angeles history, causing death and widespread destruction. Among the evidence that was collected from his digital devices was an image he generated on ChatGPT depicting a burning city. While we cannot undo the damage and destruction that was done, we hope his arrest and the charges against him bring some measure of justice to the victims of this horrific tragedy. Rinderknecht’s initial appearance is scheduled for today at 1:30 pm EDT in US District Court in Orlando. Rinderknecht is presumed innocent until proven guilty,” tweeted Central District of California Acting US Attorney Attorney Bill Essayli on Wednesday.

Since you were wondering Rinderknecht is listed as having “No Party Affiliation.” His parents however are registered Republicans, while two older siblings are registered Dems. So 50/50 on that.

With that very important data point out of the way, notice that Essayli says “Rinderknecht started a fire in Pacific Palisades on New Year’s Day” which doesn’t quite add up if you look at the National Zero article headline quoting a National Weather Service Los Angeles office’s advisory “‘THE MOST DESTRUCTIVE WINDSTORM SEEN SINCE 2011’” timestamped at 5:21 AM Pacific Standard Time on January 7th, 2025 and then – this is fucking heartbreaking to see now just how quickly that warning came to fruition – “Thousands evacuate from raging wildfire in Los Angeles” timestamped just over eight hours later at 1:39 PM Pacific Standard Time on January 7th, 2025. Six days later, obviously.

Eric Trump did not expect to be treated like that crackhead Hunter Biden while sitting on Chris Cuomo’s show on stupid NewsNation Tuesday night and here’s Chris cosplaying as a journalist and asking why he’s making corrupt crypto quid-pro-quo deals with the Emiratis instead of polishing his balls and talking about golf courses. This is not America, people! This is like Communist Nazi Germany or something! They should call this show Chris Cuomo’s Witch Hunt Tonight! Fuck!

The Trump Administration’s Department of Labor is pushing to lower the minimum wage for foreign workers brought in under the H-2A visa program by warning that the Trump Administration’s Department of Homeland Security’s immigration enforcement policies are increasing the risk of food shortages by arresting and deporting undocumented farm workers, the American Prospect reports.

Seriously. “The near total cessation of the inflow of illegal aliens combined with the lack of an available legal workforce, results in significant disruptions to production costs and threatening the stability of domestic food production and prices for US consumers,” the memo says, adding “this threat will grow” because of the Big Beautiful Bill’s $100 billion check for ICE expansion.

The Soviets had a lot of this kind of bureaucratic infighting too. Agriculture and labor were often the subject but sometimes it went in interesting other directions, like with that big futz-up at Chernobyl.

Curtis Yarvin, an extremist Silicon Valley ghoul aligned with Peter Thiel and whose extremely fascist/quasi-monarchial rants have influenced and thus poisoned the once normal-ish brain of JD Vance, has concluded that the MAGA Reich is not up to the job and is already making plans to relocate, fearing retribution from a future woke Marxist state, the San Francisco Standard reports.

“Because the vengeance meted out after its failure will dwarf the vengeance after 2020 – because the successes of the second revolution are so much greater than the first – I feel that I personally have to start thinking realistically about how to flee the country. Everyone else in a similar position should have a 2029 plan as well,” Yarvin wrote on his Substack, though he later edited the last part to say “everyone involved with this revolution needs a plan B for 2029,” the “revolution” being shorthand for the “second Trump revolution.” Yarvin believes that his Orange God Emperor has not been extreme enough in crushing the Democratic Party and the “Cathedral” of woke cultural institutions like mainstream entertainment and Jesus Christ this guy’s fucking insufferable.

Hopefully he’s right. Not about the “vengeance” thing but the inevitable failure of a movement that mocked Rosie O’Donnell for self-exiling in Ireland for the same reason. He could be her roommate.

Dem Tennessee state Representative Justin Pearson, 30, who was famously (and briefly) expelled from the legislature along with other liberal Justin Jones for leading a 2023 protest demanding stricter gun laws in response to the Nashville Covenant School massacre, on Wednesday announced a primary challenge against Dem Congressman Steve Cohen, Axios reports.

“Steve Cohen has served his district for 20 years in Congress… I’m grateful for his service,” Pearson told Axios. “I’m running for Congress because politics and government have changed a lot in 20 years, and we need a new voice, a new vision, a new perspective,” Pearson continued, maybe a little more delicately than one might expect of a Black liberal gearing up to take down a 76 year-old lifer and pro-Israel Jew. Almost sounds like he’s trying to gently talk Cohen into retiring.

Former FBI Director James Comey was on Wednesday escorted into the courthouse in Alexandria, Virginia for his arraignment via a private entrance on the side of the building, CBS News’s Scott MacFarlane reports on what somebody‘s definitely getting fucking fired for, denying the all-powerful Orange God Emperor the spectacle and humiliation of his enemies he demands.

“We have organized efforts by domestic terrorists – and that’s what they are – to do things like box in law enforcement’s cars… they are armed with heavy machinery,” complained Trump defense lawyer who is currently empowered as Deputy Attorney General of the United States Todd Blanche to Fox and Friends on Wednesday morning. There are …some issues with this 30 second clip, ones that require a little extrapolation: If this were some hick MAGA congressman from McOpioid County in southern Indiana – who’s visited Chicago like twice in the last decade but acts like an authority on the city – saying the exact same thing that clip would still absolutely be up here for the laughs.

He would be derided accordingly for inadvertently expressing frustration with the Trump regime’s inability to forcefully defeat the malevolent forces seemingly hell-bent on thwarting the GOP’s “law and order” imperatives but, as a MAGA Congressman in the legislative and not executive branch, have no actual direct agency to conquer the civil unrest. It’s great content for Fox News, a politician complaining about shit outside of their control, these intractable ills of society that serve as fuel for the furnace of MAGA rage in every mediocre white male who consumes the product.

It just doesn’t sound so great coming from the second-highest ranking law enforcement official in the United States. Maybe the state and its media apparatus should have approached this segment with a limiting principle. Thought experiment: Would they platform a local cop who sat in his patrol car across the street from a 7-Eleven and then just passively watched while a crackhead shot the cashier in the forehead, execution-style, and took off with all the money in the register while the cop went back to sipping coffee and reading Entertainment Weekly? Would they want that guy to then go on Jesse Watters’ show to complain about how bad crime is and how scary the crackheads are?

Sources tell NBC News that convicted felon President Trump isn’t turning on his once fanatically loyal minion Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene just yet but a sign of a coming rupture is that the fat bastard has been privately asking “What’s going on with Marjorie?” as the last few months have seen her buck the company line on two very important issues: Trump’s dead former bestie Jeffrey Epstein and fucking people out of government-subsidized health insurance.

Greene feels burned after the regime forced her to stand down from a Senate primary bid months after also snubbing her for Homeland Security Secretary. What reportedly really pissed her off was their lobbying her to back out of the discharge petition to force the release of the Epstein files, leading her to tell some MAGA podcaster that whatever staffer told reporters that signing onto the petition would be viewed as a “hostile act” against the administration. LetThemFight.gif all day.

The guy that convicted felon President Trump’s regime is depending on to make their “case” against former FBI Director James Comey is at best a “problematic” witness for the federal prosecutors assigned to try to put Comey behind bars – something that was written in the memo that sources tell ABC News outlined why they shouldn’t try to put it before a grand jury – which was ignored after the fat fuck ordered the last US Attorney fired and his replacement went forward with the case.

Dan Richman – a law professor who former insurance lawyer-turned-Acting US Attorney for the Eastern District of Virginia alleges that Comey used as his cutout for leaks to the media – told prosecutors that the 8647 seashells guy specifically told him not to talk to the press at least twice and very specifically denied that Comey had ever authorized him to make such leaks to the media ahead of the 2016 election, the memo said. And yeah, that’s who the entire case rests on.

Comey will be arraigned at a courthouse in Alexandria on Wednesday morning. The Trump Regime will probably leak his mugshot in contravention of longstanding Justice Department policy against making them public. The MAGA propaganda-industrial complex will have their fun with it and all the lib legal pundits will lose their shit over this being such a disgraceful abuse of power and another rapid erosion of the rule of law and by now everyone can just spew the same tropes in their sleep.

What do Democrats want?

Power.

They will do anything to acquire and maintain power.

The damage they’ve inflicted on our democracy is something Russia and China could only dream of achieving. pic.twitter.com/hOsCFTHZuj

— Senator Ron Johnson (@SenRonJohnson) October 8, 2025

Japan’s bear population have evidently had enough of the anime-loving humans they share the archipelago nation with, as one man is dead and another four have been wounded in four separate encounters this week, the highlight of which was a rampage through a Numata grocery store by a particularly agitated ursine who trashed the sushi counter and injured two shoppers, CBS reports.

“It entered from the main entrance and stayed inside for roughly four minutes. It almost climbed onto the fish case and damaged glass. In the fruits section, it knocked over a pile of avocados and stamped on them,” a manager told AFP after the Wednesday chaos. On the same day cops told NHK that a man was found dead of what appeared to be mauling on a mountain the northern Iwate region. On Tuesday a farmer in the Iwate region was scratched and bitten by a mama bear who was defending her cub from the man who had just stepped outside his house. That attack came two days after a Spanish tourist minding his own business at a bus stop in central Japan’s Shirakawa-go village was attacked without so much as even an unintentional provocation of the angry bastard.

The country’s environmental ministry’s stats reveal that, between April and September 2024, 108 people nationwide suffered injuries caused by bears, including five deaths.

Dem Georgia Senator Jon Ossoff, the Most-Vulnerable Incumbent of The Cycle™ in the Politico Playbook Cinematic Universe, raised $12 million last quarter which brings his total cash-on-hand to $21 million, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports while contrasting that with his would-be challengers, former Tennessee State NCAA football coach Derek Dooley ($1.8 million), MAGA Congressman Mike Collins ($1.9 million), and other MAGA Congressman Buddy Carter (not reported yet, but a wealthy self-funder). Granted, primary candidates are going to bring in less than the incumbent they seek to unseat and the real money’s not going to come in until the general, but that just underscores the difficulty of the whole enterprise: Ossoff’s got another 6 months+ to rake it in while these twats are still stuck spending everything they have on fighting each other.

Spandex-wearing grapple-freak Jim Jordan definitely struggled under a sustained line of questioning from CNN’s Kaitlan Collins on Tuesday about extending the Obamacare premium subsidies and goddamn he really had no good answers for her about what should be done to fix it.

The fact that he even went on CNN instead of staying in his Fox News/Newsmax safe space could speak to what the network’s website and Politico that night separately and distinctly reported was a growing realization among Republicans that, incredibly, Democrats are actually winning the shutdown fight, forcing Gymbo volunteering to step into hostile territory to attempt a reboot.

It took just over two minutes for Gym to retreat from asserting that Republicans could somehow come up with an Obamacare replacement before December and switch to spewing out the “Dems want healthcare for illegals” line of shit that he obviously would’ve led with if he thought it was going to work. On that, and it shouldn’t have taken this long for National Zero to ascertain the actual numbers on this, but it’s estimated in a KFF study from earlier this year that something like 0.35 percent of emergency Medicaid spending nationally goes to undocumented immigrants.

The upshot being that when the Trump Regime says “Democrats and their Fake News allies want you to believe it’s all a lie that Democrats shut down the government over free healthcare for illegal aliens,” they’re saying “We’re burning the village to save it” by wiping out roughly 8 percent of total Medicaid spending for needy Americans to kill off a fraction of a percent going to illegals.

“I wrote this song months ago. I posted this song three months ago as a snippet. This shows you how divisive a narrative can be when shoved down our throats through social media. This song is about how much I love this country and everyone in it more than anything. When you hear the rest of the song, you will understand the full context that hits on both sides of the aisle. Everyone using this now as a weapon is only proving how devastatingly divided we all are. We need to find our way back,” wrote country star Zach Bryan after MAGAmerica lost their shit over him releasing a clip of a not-yet-released song ripping ICE raids – to the point of the Trump Regime even responding.

“I served this country, I love this country and the song itself is about all of us coming out of this divided space. I wasn’t speaking as a politician or some greater-than-thou asshole, just a 29 year old man who is just as confused as everyone else. To see how much shit it stirred up makes me not only embarrassed but kind of scared. Left wing or right wing we’re all one bird and American. To be clear I’m on neither of these radical sides. To all those disappointed in me on either side of whatever you believe in just know I’m trying my best too and we all say things that are misconstrued sometimes.”

“Everyone have a great day and I love each and every one of ya!!!” Bryan continued and goddamn this could be about him defending some pro-Trump song it’s so vague and diffuse, lol.

“While Zach Bryan wants to Open The Gates to criminal illegal aliens and has Condemned heroic ICE officers, Something in the Orange tells me a majority of Americans disagree with him and support President Trump’s great American Revival. Godspeed, Zach!” a White House spokesworm said in a statement to Newsweek on Tuesday, whatever the hell the capitalizations are supposed to mean.

Cameroonian President Paul Biya, 92, made what the AP calls a “rare public appearance to campaign for reelection” on Tuesday, an interesting statement in itself about the eight-term leader.

“I am well aware of the problems that concern you, I know the unfulfilled expectations that make you doubt the future… Based on my own experience, I can assure you that these problems are not insurmountable,” Biya said, without further elaborating on how his being 92 can be “surmounted.”

“Sanctimonious Richard ‘Da Nang Dick’ Blumenthal, perhaps the biggest ‘joke’ in the United States Senate, is at it again! ‘Dick’ lied until the midpoint of his political career, convincing everyone, in particular the Fake News Media, that he was a great ‘War Hero’ who lived on the precipice of death in the jungles of Vietnam. He would talk about his life in the military in almost every speech, in particular the death defying dangers he faced in his many years ‘fight for freedom’ while in Vietnam.”

“He stated that ‘the battles were violent and long, but there was no going back’ – And then it happened, Blumenthal was found out to be a FRAUD. The soldiers in his so-called ‘platoon’ came forward and said that they had no idea who this guy was. He was revealed, broke down and admitted, tears flowing from his eyes, that he LIED, a Whopper, one that lasted 20 year.”

“This guy shouldn’t even be in the US Senate. It should be investigated, and Justice should be sought. Right now there is a Congressman sitting in prison for lying about his past during a campaign. Well, those lies were nothing compared to those of Richard ‘Da Nang Dick’ Blumenthal, perhaps the greatest phony in the history of the United States Senate. He should be allowed to speak no longer!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday, evidently after seeing clips of his shitbag attorney general getting chewed out by Blumenthal. The Connecticut Senator did indeed admit to lying about serving in Vietnam and should have resigned in disgrace a while ago.

He also served in the Marine Corps and could have been deployed to Vietnam, something the fat fuck never came close to with his “bone spurs” line so this is not at all the flex Donald thinks it is.

The Economist/YouGov national survey’s question of “President Most Responsible for Current Economy – Who do you think is more responsible for the current state of the US economy?” has had a largely predictable trajectory if infrequent testing over the past nine months among overall respondents: On March 11th it was 44 percent former President Joe Biden’s to 33 percent Trump’s, then the next week after Donald did something stupid it was 48 percent him to 32 percent Biden, trending up to 57 percent Trump – 22 percent Biden last month, and now at 57 percent Trump – 24 percent Biden’s economy in this week’s edition of the poll. None of this is terribly surprising.

It’s the shifts crosstab of Trump 2024 voters that is, if not surprising, then at least funny: Back in March it was 69 percent Biden still owns the US economy to 18 percent Trump. In April that was 57 percent Biden, 27 percent Trump. May: 55 percent Biden, 32 percent Trump. Then last month it finally flipped and 45 percent of the cult decided Dear Leader was truly in command of the largest economy on Earth to 36 percent unwilling to let go of blaming “Crooked Joe” for the economy.

Now that’s flipped again this week: 45 percent of Trump 2024 voters say it’s Biden’s economy to 36 percent Trump’s. Pray tell what has the sons of bitches suddenly so rattled. Obviously the respondents are different each week, but that’s a significant – and pathetic – enough shift to notice.

pic.twitter.com/aPJXp5blGw

— MELANIA TRUMP (@MELANIATRUMP) October 7, 2025