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Jaydee “thrashing” Newsom in “5 of 7 Swing States”: Breitbart poll

“Vice President JD Vance handily defeated Gov Gavin Newsom (D-CA) across seven battleground states in a theoretical presidential election matchup, according to a poll exclusively obtained by Breitbart News,” writes the right wing media site in an article that’s a little dodgy on the provenance of the poll as in whether it was “obtained exclusively” or actually sponsored by Breitbart.

The polling data sheet from “Plymouth Union Public Research” or “PUP Research” itself is more than a little dodgy, saying “Republican JD Vance won the vote in 5 out of the 7 swing states and won overall (Vance 51 percent, Newsom 49 percent). In a sample that is R+1 , this result tracks, but a deeper look at the internals reveals more.” The sheet then proceeds to not lay out said internals, saying only “Vice President Vance is winning Democrats (9 percent) at a higher clip than Newsom winning Republicans (7 percent).” They don’t even say which of the five states Jaydee is ahead in.

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Fannie man doesn’t want to talk about Ken Paxton’s mortgage fraud

Trump ballsucking capitalist-turned-Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac Director Bill Pulte, who has a real hard on for Fed Governor Lisa Cook’s fake “mortgage fraud” situation, was very hesitant on CNBC Thursday to make a similar criminal referral to the Justice Department against Picasso-faced Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, making some shit up about the allegation not having been made “public.” The refusal came minutes after he similarly refused to answer how he got the “tip” on Cook.

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Malfunctioning fembot to lead AI task force meeting

White House press release: “First Lady Melania Trump will host a meeting of the White House Task Force on Artificial Intelligence (AI) Education today alongside members of the Task Force and private sector leaders from American industry. ‘I predict AI will represent the single largest growth category in our nation during the Trump Administration – and I won’t be surprised if AI becomes known as the greatest engine of progress in the history of the United States of America. But, as leaders and parents we must manage AI’s growth responsibly. During this primitive stage, it is our duty to treat AI as we would our own children – empowering, but with watchful guidance. We are living in a moment of wonder, and it is our responsibility to prepare America’s children,’ said First Lady Melania Trump.”

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People starving in Nigeria due to US aid cuts

In what Reuters reports is directly attributable to the DOGE shitshow shuttering USAID, the UN’s World Food Program has closed 150 nutrition centers in northeastern Nigeria, causing children and families displaced by conflict with Islamic and other rebel groups to suffer starvation and, per a WFP spokesperson based in the region, that “hundreds of thousands of children stopped receiving essential treatment, and the number of children who needed hospitalization skyrocketed… We know that 600,000 children are at risk of mortality – a figure we’ve never experienced before.”

But hey, at least “Big Balls” has the Social Security information of every single living American.

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“Mr Trump, I need to see the fruit of your love”

A struggling Woodruff County, Arkansas farmer Chris King on Tuesday stood up at a meeting hosted by staffers for Senators Tom Cotton, John Boozman, and Congressman Rick Crawford to say, patehtically, “Mr Trump, you looked at me and said, ‘I love you.’ Mr Trump, I need to see the fruit of your love.” It’s unclear whether this was like a personal experience, as in, King had attended a MAGA rally and Trump had brought him on stage or there was some “Farmers for Trump” event or whatever and some form of that actually happened. Or, more likely, that King had just imagined this.

Later King told K8 News he’s “never been as worried as I am now about whether or not my kids and grandkids will be able to carry on,” adding “I just would like to see somebody help us get our markets back. We need our exports, and we just need to be paid for what we do, and that’s not happening, and we’re in real trouble.” Wait, aren’t unprovoked trade wars fun and easy to win?

Other farmer Scott Brown said he thinks “the tariffs are the ice cream on the cake of a perfect storm. When you try and sell a product, okay, US soybeans leaving New Orleans without the tariff to China are cheaper than Brazilian soybeans, at the current market. But when you put the tariff on top of them, Brazilian beans are cheaper.” Asked what he needs, the socialist welfare queen said “In the short term, they have no choice but to mail us a check. I don’t know a farmer that likes the check program. Nobody wants to take the taxpayer dollars, but nobody wants to go broke, nobody wants to lose everything. Long term, we have to have options, markets, and places to sell our product.”

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Senate GOP almost sort of mad enough at Bobby Brainworms

“Several sources close to key GOP senators tell me this morning that frustrations w/ Sec Kennedy are real, especially with unrest at the CDC, but that they are not at the point yet of pushing the WH or President to make a change. His turn today at Senate will be closely watched,” tweeted CBS News White House correspondent Robert Costa on Thursday, copied verbatim here for the utterly perfect encapsulation of their cowardice. They’re not “yet” at the point, as if they’ll ever be.

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Noem refusing to release “self-deportation” numbers

Dog-murdering Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem is refusing to release to NBC News the numbers on how many undocumented migrants have actually taken her up on her offer for $1,000 and a free flight to “self-deport” despite her having spent $200 million in taxpayer dollars on an ad campaign and God knows how much more on a reboot of the “CBP One” app for that purpose.

Per NBC, Noem had last month promised to make the stats public but has since been slient on the matter and DHS officials would not respond to repeated requests for comment on the matter.

Would-be users said it’s all a fraud. “You just can’t get on a plane tomorrow and just go,” Lauren, a mom of two who lives in Ohio with her undocumented husband told NBC. She expressed anger at Noem, saying that the family doesn’t plan to use the CBP app. “We have a home. We have to sell this home, get rid of everything that’s in this home. It’s just, you can’t just leave like she says.”

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Argentinian cops recover Nazi-looted painting

Cops in Argentina on Wednesday announced the recovery of Giuseppe Ghislandi’s late 17th/early 18th century portrait of Italian Countess Colleoni weeks after the daughter of high-ranking Nazi SS official Friedrich Kadgien had stupidly revealed it to be in her possession in a pic posted in a real estate listing for her home, Reuters reports. Details on where it was found are forthcoming.

Patricia Kadgien and her unnamed husband were ordered to remain under house arrest for 72 hours starting Monday and will be questioned for obstructing the investigation to locate an official in Mar de Plata province told Reuters. Kadigen and her husband are expected to be charged with to be charged with “concealment of theft in the context of genocide,” but haven’t been arraigned yet.

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Orange Degenerate petitions Supreme Court over Carroll verdict

Convicted felon President Trump’s scumbag lawyers on Wednesday filed a petition to the Supreme Court asking for a 60 day extension of some deadline that he had to appeal the Second Circuit’s June rejection of his bid to overturn the $5 million judgment in the first of his two successive defeats to rape victim EJ Carroll for defamation and the rape/sexual abuse that occurred in the mid-1990s.

Team Orange are running up against a September 11th deadline to submit their full petition for a writ of certiorari before the court in the case, claiming that they face “a significant press of business due to many upcoming deadlines” which of course any other lawyers would be told to fuck off by the court but Donald’s minions are always welcomed to darken their doors at their leisure.

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Comer’s media hits on Epstein victims contained some plot holes

House Oversight Chairbilly James Comer’s Wednesday media hits concerning the Epstein victim press conference contained some plot holes, the first one this morning on CNN sucked because he claimed “Look, President Trump is complying with our subpoena,” even though it was just recycled shit produced. Later in the afternoon Comer reviewed the press conference Comer claimed to Newsmax that “One thing that continues to be a recurring theme is that Donald Trump’s name was not mentioned in any of this,” when the survivors mentioned him at least eight times this morning.

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Trolley problem kills 15 in Lisbon

At least 15 people are dead another 18 injured after a trolley derailed in Portugal’s capital of Lisbon on Wednesday, the AP reports. One of the two cars on the Elevador da Gloria, a 275 meter-long funicular dating to 1885 – basically an elevator on an incline but shaped more like a trolley – broke loose and careened down the slope, crashing into a building near the bottom of the route.

The trolley route had been a popular tourist spot but obviously it might take a hit – if it ever reopens.

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Pfizer CEO deserves a Nobel for trolling

“Pfizer Inc today reaffirmed its commitment to transparently and consistently disclosing its research findings regarding its COVID-19 vaccine and to maintaining the integrity of those ongoing studies for all those we serve. Dr Albert Bourla, Chairman and CEO, made the following statement: The success of Operation Warp Speed (OWS) and US development of mRNA vaccines is a profound public health achievement. Under President Trump’s leadership, American innovation led the world, helping prevent economic collapse and saving more than 14 million lives globally. Operation Warp Speed restored consumer confidence, saved over $1 trillion in health care costs due to reductions in serious illness and avoidance of hospitalizations, and rapidly scaled up domestic production.”

“This American leadership also delivered a new platform that may drive significant innovation in cancer research. Such an accomplishment would typically be worthy of the Nobel Peace Prize, given its significant impact,” says a Pfizer press release, emphasis added on the utterly brilliant trolling.

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House tables effort to censure ICE protestor Congresswoman

A Republican effort to censure New Jersey Congresswoman LaMonica McIver – who faces fake charges of assault against federal agents from a confrontation during a protest at an ICE gulag in May – failed Wednesday when at least five House GOP members voted with Dems to table the censure resolution, Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman reports on yet another embarrassment for MAGA.

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Team Orange considering job offers for Eric Adams and Curtis Sliwa

Convicted felon President Trump’s minions have been considering offering jobs to idiot New York City Mayor Eric Adams and soon-to-be-two-time-loser Republican mayoral candidate Curtis Sliwa to clear the field so that disgraced former Gov Andrew Cuomo can defeat leftist nominee Zohran Mamdani in the November election, the New York Times reports on some embarrassing shit.

This is so fucking stupid, really. First off, yes, the math maybe theoretically works based on the most recent polling putting Mamdani shy of a majority at 44 percent to Cuomo at 25 and the other two clowns at a combined 19 percent so that Cuomo could squeeze out a win. That of course assumes that Adams and Sliwa’s support would automatically consolidate to Cuomo, which it won’t. Many of their remaining fans just won’t show up. Second – and just skip how much Trump hated Cuomo during the worst days of the pandemic or whether Adams and Sliwa would actually accept any job offer – shouldn’t Trump and his minions actually want Mamdani to win? Aren’t they excited to have a new AOC/Ilhan Omar to run against nationally, so that Congressman Jefferson Davis Peckerwood in rural Arklabama can put Zohran in his ads screaming about the dangers of socialism?

Maybe that’s the wrong question to be asking and they’ll take that consolation in the likely event Mamdani does win, but they are actually legitimately what happens if/when he’s elevated.

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Newsmax sues Fox News, alleging conspiracy with providers

Alleging that its larger, more established rival “has long engaged in an exclusionary scheme to increase and maintain its dominance in the market for US right-leaning pay TV news, resulting in suppression of competition in that market that harms consumers, competition,” medium-sized right wing propaganda network Newsmax on Wednesday filed a federal civil complaint against Fox News.

The damages sought aren’t specified other than that the prayer for relief seeks a “judgment be entered for Plaintiff against Fox for three times the amount of damages sustained by Plaintiff as allowed by law, together with the costs of this action, including reasonable attorneys’ fees pursuant to Sections 4 and 16 of the Clayton Act, 15 USC §§ 15 and 26, and the Florida Antitrust Act.”

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Aussie grandparent takes wrong kid from daycare center

An Australian daycare center is in trouble for handing a 1 year-old kid to the wrong person, People Magazine reports but the real questions not being asked is why the hell the grandparent didn’t know what the hell the toddler looks like and know the kid isn’t theirs.

“I can’t explain the feeling,” the boy’s mother told the Sydney Morning Herald. “They couldn’t tell me his name, who he was, they couldn’t tell me who he was meant to pick up, [or] what he looked like, apart from that he was wearing shorts and he was an older gentleman.”

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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