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“Attorney General Ken Paxton has announced that the continued refusal to perform legislative duties by Texas House Democrats who broke quorum constitutes abandonment of office and that he will pursue a court ruling ensuring that their seats are declared vacant. Speaker of the Texas House Dustin Burrows has given members until Friday, August 8, to return to Texas and present themselves before the House. Any lawmaker who has not been arrested and returned or fails to appear by the Speaker’s deadline will be subject to aggressive legal action by Attorney General Paxton,” said corrupt white nationalist Texas Attorney General Picasso face in a statement on Tuesday.

Pax doesn’t actually think it’ll work but has to perform for the MAGA base anyway.

In an article headlined “He fell 25 feet over a waterfall onto rocks below. His screams alerted rescuers,” USA Today journalist Natalie Neysa Alund puts forth a compelling argument as to why you should scream when in dangerous situation and require assistance, writing “Screaming for help, a hiker was rescued after falling over a waterfall and landing 25 feet down in ‘a rocky pool,’ according to officials in Southern California” in the lede to underscore just how crucial the act of screaming was to the man’s rescue from the treacherous rocks of Big Falls in San Bernardino County.

Unstated, but heavily implied in the text is that the man would in all likelihood otherwise have perished if he had chosen to remain silent during the ordeal, that the scream was literally the difference between life or death and the responders may not have visually ascertained his position.

Indeed, the article specifies that “While the firefighters who initially responded could not see the hiker, they could hear ‘cries for help,’ the department said,” which further bolsters this implication but does not foreclose the possibility that the firefighters could have sought another vantage point.

The bottom line: Screaming works in a wide array of dangerous situations – with some important caveats, like if a vicious werewolf just killed your neighbor on his front lawn and you scream in shock seeing it from your window. The werewolf would be alerted to your position and smash through your front door, requiring you to hide in the linen closet. Then you must remain absolutely silent while the lycanthrope sniffs the air hungrily, trying to find you. If he does rip open the closet door then go ahead and scream. It won’t do anything but it’ll at least feel good to vent some negative emotions.

Lady truck driver dials 911 after Massachusetts trucker exposes his genitals https://t.co/51IoSF6NBj #TheVillages #TheVillagesNews

— Villages-News (@Villages_News) August 5, 2025

During a week in which the national average for a gallon of gasoline hovered at around $3.12, the February 9 – 11, 2025 Economist/YouGov national survey asked respondents “Six months from now do you think there will be lower gas prices” to which 59 percent of self-identified Trump 2024 voters agreed while 14 percent said higher and 16 percent said the same. Among overall respondents 44 percent expected increases to 28 percent lower and 11 percent said they’d be the same.

Six months later with gas up slightly to $3.16/gallon nationally the August 1 – 4, 2025 survey finds 43 percent of Trump fans still saying lower on the very same question and thus holding steadily impervious to the reality that not only did Trump not deliver for them with all that “UNLEASH AMERICAN ENERGY” horseshit from the campaign, he made things worse – if only marginally. Now 21 percent expect higher prices in six months while 26 percent expect the same.

The fat fuck himself this morning revised his previous claims of $1.98 a gallon up to $2.20, which was still wrong but sadly further away from the $1.84 he promised to bring about.

“Attorney General James Uthmeier is taking legal action against multiple online pornography websites acting in violation of Florida law by not requiring age verification before accessing adult content. Last year, Florida enacted HB 3, requiring commercial entities that distribute sexually explicit material online that is harmful to minors to verify that individuals attempting to access the material are at least 18 years of age. Attorney General Uthmeier today filed legal suit against Webgroup Czech Republic, NKL Associates, Sonesta Technologies, Inc, GGW Group, and Traffic F for breaking state law and endangering minors. ‘Multiple porn companies are flagrantly breaking Florida’s age verification law by exposing children to harmful, explicit content. As a father of young children, and as Attorney General, this is completely unacceptable,’ said Attorney General James Uthmeier. ‘We are taking legal action against these online pornographers who are willfully preying on the innocence of children for their financial gain,'” says the Florida AG’s office in a press release.

“WebGroup Czech Republic, as d/b/a XVideos.com, NKL Associates, sro d/b/a XNXX.com, Sonesta Technologies, sro d/b/a BangBros.com, Sonesta Media, sro d/b/a BangBros.com, Sonesta Technologies, Inc d/b/a BangBros.com, GGW Group, sro d/b/a GirlsGoneWild.com, GTFlix TV, sro d/b/a GirlsGoneWild.com, GGW Group, LLC d/b/a GirlsGoneWild.com, and pornographic advertiser Traffic F, sro d/b/a TrafficFactory.com publishes sexually explicit material online that is harmful to minors. XVideos.com and XNXX.com are free to access and receive hundreds of millions of visits monthly worldwide and several million in Florida alone. Despite knowing that the websites must comply with age-verification laws, the companies have openly defied HB 3 since it took effect January 1, 2025. In April, Attorney General Uthmeier wrote letters to two of the companies demanding they comply with state law or face legal action, but the companies made no changes.”

Way to tell the masturbators in your state where they can go to indulge freely, Jimbo.

Come for this desiccated virago’s cheerful and obeisance to the Orange God Emperor, saying quite literally she agrees with whatever he says, no matter what he says – and especially so at the GOP being “entitled” to five more House seats in Texas – stay for her self-soothing with some bullshit about Dem astroturfing at colleague Mike Flood’s rough Monday night town hall.

Multiple video clips circulating Tuesday show a mentally disturbed near-octogenarian wandering around the roof of his home in Washington DC, shouting at people curious as to why he’s up there.

“The US Coast Guard Marine Board of Investigation (MBI) released its Report of Investigation (ROI) Tuesday on the loss of the Titan submersible, which imploded during a June 2023 dive to the Titanic, killing five people. The more than 300-page ROI outlines key findings and contributing factors in the casualty and includes 17 safety recommendations aimed at strengthening oversight of submersible operations, improving coordination among federal agencies and closing gaps in international maritime policy,” says a US Coast Guard press release on how being smarter than everyone else got Stockton Rush and four other men killed in the abyss two years ago.

“The board determined the primary contributing factors were OceanGate’s inadequate design, certification, maintenance and inspection process for the Titan. Other factors cited in the report include a toxic workplace culture at OceanGate, an inadequate domestic and international regulatory framework for submersible operations and vessels of novel design, and an ineffective whistleblower process under the Seaman’s Protection Act,” the release continued and lol they said “Seamen.”

“The board also found OceanGate failed to properly investigate and address known hull anomalies following its 2022 Titanic expedition. Investigators determined Titan’s real-time monitoring system generated data that should have been analyzed and acted on during the expedition. However, OceanGate did not take any action related to the data, conduct any preventative maintenance or properly store the Titan during the extended off season before its 2023 Titanic expedition.”

If you have a question about the headline but don’t feel like actually watching the video the answer is yes. Yes limey Fox Business News anchor Stu Varney specifically asked if naturally-born Chinese-Americans should be banned from buying farmland and Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins not only didn’t say no, she said she’s going to look into whether it’s possible to work that into a ban.

See below to find some MAGA troll doing a hit-and-run where they say it’s okay since FDR was a Democrat and he was way worse to Chinese-Americans because he put them in internment camps.

Convicted felon President Trump’s reich have the audio of last month’s meeting between his defense lawyer who’s also currently empowered as the second highest ranking law enforcement official in the United States Todd Blanche and the incarcerated sex offender Jeffrey Epstein’s accomplice Ghislaine Maxwell – a meeting that led to the latter getting her offender status secretly waived so she could be moved from a normal federal prison in Florida to a Club Fed for female white collar convicts in Texas – and are “considering” releasing a transcript of that meeting, CNN reports.

What’s there to consider? They can make up whatever they want in a transcript. Audio can be easily faked these days too. It’s not like anyone even knows what the hell Maxwell’s voice sounds like so why not just have “her” say something like “It was EXACTLY like Sound of Freedom, except way more violent, that moonless night when President Trump emerged from the waters off the island in his wetsuit and slit the throat of one of Jeffrey’s guards. He then rappelled up the cliff and changed into his tuxedo, disguising himself as ‘John Barron,’ a wealthy scientist/inventor whose uncle went to MIT. I was immediately captivated by him, he was so charming and intelligent as he sipped his Diet Coke from a martini glass. Then Rook, a former Navy SEAL-turned-evil mercenary and Jeffrey’s top henchman, realized that ‘Mr Barron’ wasn’t on the list and immediately confronted him in front of the whole party… I have never seen such lethal Kung Fu moves and still don’t know how Trump managed to spear a pool cue into Rook’s eye socket from 20 feet away while firing an uzi in the other hand.”

“The National Park Service is asking for the public’s help in locating Thomas Daniel Gibbs, 35, of Freehold, New Jersey, who was last heard from on July 22, 2025, at approximately 12 pm. Gibbs’ family and friends reported him missing on Monday, July 28. His Tesla Cybertruck was found the same day in the Grandview Point parking lot on the South Rim. Gibbs is believed to have been in the Grandview Trail and Horseshoe Mesa area on July 22,” says a National Park Service bulletin.

It’s not clear why they specified “Cybertruck” in an official US government statement when several previous similar NPS press releases – all from this year – simply say “vehicle.” While one’s first impulse could, and correctly so, be that some Elon Musk minion DOGE incel installed an AI to write this press release, it’s equally possible that this is quasi-trolling by some disaffected lifer who wants to subtly say “See? This is the demographic that goes hiking by themselves in the fucking Grand Canyon in July: a 35 year-old Cybertruck owner, which already answers the question of why he didn’t have a female companion with him. One can only pray that he found solace in the Joe Rogan Experience episode he downloaded before setting out on his one-way journey into the wilderness.”

Iranian officials on Tuesday ordered government offices and banks across wide swaths of the country to close Wednesday to conserve electricity during a brutal heatwave straining the nation’s already shitty power grid, the AP reports on the day-to-day of living in a conservative theocratic state ruled by a powerful singular dictator whose authority is unquestioned even as his competence in delivering the basics in the 21st century is, well… You read all the words before that, right?

Worth asking how much this is going to cost their economy, shutting down for a day and how many such lost days would equal the cost of modernizing the electrical grid. Such a digression itself loops back to the main point that this grating article is straining to hit its audience over the head with, that the constant failures of such base fucking revanchist small dick-powered governance are universal no matter what costume your leader wears or the type of suffering he forces on women.

Convicted felon President Trump got angry and annoyed repeatedly when CNBC’s anchors did not rhetorically suck his balls over various topics Tuesday morning, like the wisdom of firing the chief of the Bureau of Labor Statistics on impulse, how much gas actually costs, whether he had anything to do with Monday’s fake announcement of another criminal investigation into the 2016 election, the timing of the last major revision of the monthly jobs report in 2024, and so on.

Picasso-faced Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, apparently not having a whole lot to do back home as the top law enforcement officer in a state with 35 million people, secretly flew to Scotland last month and showed up uninvited to casually hit the links at the same time as convicted felon President Trump, CNN reports with the assertion that Pax and Trump did not actually play together but merely crossed paths and spoke for a few minutes, Pax’s ask obvious enough.

CNN’s report also says the White House had at first denied that Paxton and Trump had met in Haggis-stan. Then, when asked again on Monday, they simply didn’t respond to a request for comment, which is kind of fucking ridiculous since they could just make up whatever they wanted and say the conversation was about immigration or the gerrymandering putsch or whatever instead of Paxton’s destructive primary bid against establishment “RINO” Senator John Cornhole Cornyn.

The article also mentions that Paxton’s first campaign ad aired earlier this summer not in Texas but West Palm Beach because of fucking course that’s what you do in a GOP primary these days.

A New York City Police Department patrol SUV responding to a 911 call in the Rockaway Peninsula, Queens area was badly t-boned by a reckless driver just after 10 pm on Monday, WCBS reports.

The other vehicle, a New York City Police Department patrol SUV responding to the very same 911 call, was pretty mangled as well. All four officers between the two vehicles were hospitalized with non-life-threatening injuries. Presumably after recovering the driver responsible will spend the rest of his/her time on the force driving a Segway or maybe one of those wienery little “Smart cars” as penance for the fuckup that destroyed two $40,000-ish law enforcement-grade Ford Explorers and hurt three of their siblings in blue. Bad, but not as bad as a forced transfer to Times Square and posting outside the M&Ms Store or even the Harry Potter Broadway show’s theater.

Arrests by convicted felon President Trump’s white nationalist stormtroopers at ICE dropped 20 percent in July from the previous month in what Axios credits to protests and political pushback even as the fat fuck’s party just wrote them a blank check to launch a massive recruitment drive.

Another factor Axios identifies is the Orange Slob’s zig-zagging on whether to allow exceptions for the farming and hospitality industries which it’s not clear whether they’re on or off right now.

Highly contagious disease surges in some US states amid report of possible fatal case https://t.co/E4ADZGn1zI

— Fox News (@FoxNews) August 5, 2025

Fox News on Monday reported that all the unelected Faucist bureaucrats that remain embedded like parasites deep within the US’s public health system are failing Americans again, this time by allowing foot and mouth disease to spread unabated in Virginia, the US Virgin Islands, and other jurisdictions. Enough is enough. If the woke alphabet soup agencies like the CDC and NIH cannot stop this by the end of the week then President Trump should simply shut down both and leave it up to individual Americans to make their own decisions about how to coordinate a response to a disease outbreak. It’s their job to Make America Healthy Again and they’re simply not up to it.

New South Wales, Australia state Premier Chris Minns on Tuesday ripped into right wing state MP Gareth Ward’s lawyers over a last-minute move to land a court injunction halting their client’s expulsion from the state’s assembly following his conviction last month on four sexual abuse charges involving two young male victims, the Australian Broadcasting Corporation reports.

“Late last night, orders were granted in the New South Wales Supreme Court, injunctive orders obtained by representatives of Mr Ward, lawyers for Mr Ward, against the Leader of the House Ron Hoenig [and] the Speaker Greg Piper — which will stop or attempt to stop the expulsion motion in the Legislative Assembly,” Minns told Nine Radio on Tuesday morning local time down under.

Ward, 44, the state MP for the New South Wales town of Kiama, was found guilty last month of the sexual assaults of an 18 year-old man in 2013 and a 24 year-old man in 2015 and is a member of the “Liberals” which, in the upside down, is actually a right wing party. The scumbag’s also in jail awaiting sentencing so it’s not like he’s showing up to work, something Minns pointed out in the radio hit. “We’ve got a week of parliament to sit, and I think that most people would appreciate it’s an unconscionable situation to have someone who’s currently sitting in jail in Silverwater, convicted of serious sexual offenses, who is demanding to remain a member of parliament and continue to be paid,” said Minns. Asked whether he’s pushed for Ward to simply resign, Minns said it “would be the first and most obvious course. But clearly he’s got no shame.” Sounds familiar, right?

“The National Park Service announced today that it will restore and reinstall the bronze statue of Albert Pike, which was toppled and vandalized during riots in June 2020. The restoration aligns with federal responsibilities under historic preservation law as well as recent executive orders to beautify the nation’s capital and re-instate pre-existing statues. Originally authorized by Congress in 1898 and dedicated in 1901, the statue honors Pike’s leadership in Freemasonry, including his 32 years as Sovereign Grand Commander of the Ancient Rite of Scottish Freemasonry. The statue has been in secure storage since its removal and is currently undergoing restoration by the National Park Service’s Historic Preservation Training Center,” says the National Park Service in a statement.

“This action supports both the Executive Order on Making the District of Columbia Safe and Beautiful and the Executive Order on Restoring Truth and Sanity to American History, which direct federal agencies to protect public monuments and present a full and accurate picture of the American past. Site preparation to repair the statue’s damaged masonry plinth will begin shortly, with crews repairing broken stone, mortar joints, and mounting elements. The NPS is targeting October 2025 for completing the reinstallment of the fully restored statue.”