Category: Uncategorized

The sum total value of the reporting in the daily morning “tipsheets” National Zero most often reads/skims – those being Playbook by Politico, Punchbowl News AM, and, to a looser definition, Axios – just barely edges out their overall insufferableness and all-too frequent dictation by Republican malefactors. A world in which these missives aren’t composed by complete twats is a world mankind has not earned from its cruel puppeteer(s) in the heavens, thus this site is forced to remark on the grating, circlejerky hype-ified language in Wednesday’s Playbook even whilst said grating, circlejerky hype-ified language thrilled to the torment facing the GOP in the next stretch.

“ESCAPE VELOCITY: For the last 16 days, the Epstein saga has blotted out the sun inside Washington, the kind of evanescent Beltway fodder the White House insists won’t break through outside of newsletters like this one,” Playbook opens their morning edition with and God just damn you. Damn you to hell. Like seriously go see a physical therapist for the neck strain from sucking your own… Ughhhh, anyway yeah once they get to the actual quotes it’s entertaining shit.

“The best hope of getting OBBB to break through is having Trump hammer it home. So anything that knocks him off of that message and steers the conversation to things that divide Rs and force members onto the defensive is a hindrance,” said one “prominent Republican strategist who has worked on Senate races” and holy fuck this guy seriously wants the party to change the subject from Epstein to their bill which just knocked 10 million people off of their health insurance, lol.

Appearing on the July 13, 2022 edition of Fox News steakhead Sean Hannity’s show, Republican Louisiana Senator John Kennedy said “President Biden is clearly struggling. He struggled today in the Middle East and I take no joy in that. I trust the American people, and I think the American people have figured things out. I don’t consider myself an expert in too many things, if any, but I know how to read a poll. A majority of Americans, to them, the president is about as popular as cholera. The American people did not reach this conclusion this morning. They have reasons for believing that.”

“Number one, the majority of Americans don’t believe that President Biden is in charge. They think the president is not the president. They think that the real president is whoever controls the teleprompter. Number two, fair or unfair: the majority of Americans think that President Biden is too old. Kind of like an old Buick. Some days he starts, and other days he doesn’t,” Kennedy continued in making light of the then-president’s age by comparing him to an old car with a failing ignition switch.

That’s not the clip above though. That’s the now 73 year-old Kennedy on the July 22nd edition of Fox Business News cokehead Larry Kudlow’s show sounding what could reasonably be compared to an old car with a failing ignition switch, a moment that Kudlow chalked up to “technical problems” and not, you know, neurological ones that may or may not have also been wrought by karma.

Oath Keepers founder Stewie Rhodes, the one-eyed MAGA terrorist who was serving a lengthy sentence for seditious conspiracy over his group’s plot to overthrow the US government on January 6th, 2021 until convicted felon President Trump freed him immediately upon returning to power just over four years later, is less than impressed with the Orange God Emperor’s handling of the Jeffrey Epstein shitshow and publicly warned the fat fuck about it last week, the Daily Beast reports.

“I believe 90 percent of his own base understands that Epstein was up to something and we know that’s the tip of the iceberg,” Stewart Rhodes told the crowd at a MAGA event at the Comfort Inn in Granville, Texas. Lol at the random hole in the wall hotel being the venue. “It’s really disheartening to see President Trump just declare that to be a hoax. I don’t think it is. And I think it’s going to cause him trouble in his own base. It already is,” the convicted insurrectionist continued.

“Moderate” Republican New York Congressman and Michael Jackson superfan Mike Lawler tells the New York Times he will not be running for governor. “While I fundamentally believe I am best positioned to take on Kathy Hochul and offer New Yorkers a real choice for governor, I have made the decision to run for re-election to the House and continue the important work I’ve been doing over the past two and a half years,” Lawler said after bowing to the Orange God Emperor.

“The Wendy’s Company (Nasdaq: WEN) announced the appointment of Pete Suerken as President, US, effective today. He will report to interim Chief Executive Officer Ken Cook and serve on the Wendy’s® Senior Leadership Team. Suerken will succeed Abigail Pringle, who has served as President, US since 2024 and will depart the Company in the coming weeks to pursue other opportunities after a transition period with Suerken,” says Wendy’s in a press release.

Note the CEO’s name. It’s just a matter of time before he gets called Ken Wendys.

Yeah, Donald’s going to go fucking nuts over this. In related news also from CNN, House Oversight Chairbilly James Comer tells Manu Raju that he doesn’t see a live hearing with Ghislaine Maxwell as practical because she’s in prison. “I think Congress wants them to release what they have… The overwhelming majority of Republicans in Congress want to see the administration release of the Epstein files. That’s what we hear back home from our constituents,” Comer said. Asked if he supports fellow Kentuckian Tom Massie’s bill, Comer said, hilariously, “The president, by September, will surely have have turned over everything. If things haven’t been turned over by then, I think the Massie resolution will pass on the floor.”

“A Florida man was arrested last week for allegedly threatening on X to kill ‘EVERY ONE’ on what he believed was the Jeffrey Epstein client list, charging documents unsealed Monday show,” says the lede to a Tuesday ABC News story, copied verbatim here because the headline joke wrote itself.

Get it? He threatened to assassinate Trump because the Epst- Anyway, yeah Terrell Bailey-Corsey is facing a federal charge of “Transmitting in Interstate Commerce a True Threat to Injure the Person of Another” and it would have been interesting to see if he would have been charged IF he had only posted “Everyone involved if I see them in real life I will KILL. On sight. With a machete so everyone can see the blood and gore of the moment. You can’t fear death so you can’t understand. I will KILL EVERYONE ON THE LIST. ON SIGHT. AND THEY ABSOLUTELY DESERVE IT” on Twitter.

Because he did, per the arrest affidavit, name some redacted “government officials” in a subsequent post: “EVERY EPSTIEN APPOLOGIST KIDFUCER, DO NOT KNOW MY NAME, NEVER MEET ME IN PUBLIC BECAISE I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU.I WILL BEAT YOU UNTIL YOU BRG FOR YOUR LIFE AND THEN STILL FUCKING KILL YOU. [three names redacted] I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU ON SIGHT. YOU SATAN COCK SUCKERS. I WILL HEAR THE BLOOD GUGLE FROM YOUR LUNGS AS YOU ATTEMPT TO BREATHE,” and blah blah blah. Just because there’s three of them it’s probably Pam Bondi, Kash Patel, and Dan Bongino… But yeah if he hadn’t it would’ve been pretty goddamned funny if he was still charged over the first one even if he can’t threaten to kill people on a list that “doesn’t exist.”

From the NTSB’s final determination on the September 2023 crash that killed Eugene Petola, husband of now-former Alaska Congresswoman Mary Petola: “The pilot ferried a group of hunters into a remote wilderness area over the days leading up to the accident flight. The hunters then killed a moose, and the pilot ferried the first of two loads of meat back to the departure airport.”

“The first ferry flight was uneventful, with the airplane departing to the north before initiating a climbing right turn toward the destination. During the second flight, the airplane was more heavily loaded with meat and the pilot had mounted a set of moose antlers to the right wing strut.”

It’s almost like barely-closeted House Ways and Means Chairman Jason Smith forgot that he ever used his committee’s subpoena power on Hunter Biden when asked why he wasn’t using it to investigate Jeffrey Epstein… And yeah, he did forget and the excuse why when reminded by CNN’s Kasie Hunt was lame.

While it’s not a sign that they won’t eventually capitulate to convicted felon President Trump in his lawsuit (which he’s going to have to re-file because it’ll be rejected immediately) the Wall Street Journal are not at this point at least fucking around because they’ve retained former Senator George LeMieux to defend them (or negotiate a settlement with the fat fuck).

Trump’s America again: Starting next week, Target will no longer honor lower prices for the same products found on Amazon or Walmart, ABC News reports. Which means that after July 28th, when you go to the cashier and say “Hey look, this blender is $24.99 here in the store but Amazon’s selling it for $18.99” then the answer will be “Okay, so go fucking order it from them” instead of “Let me adjust that price down to $18.99 for you” like it was during the Biden Administration.

Target will still continue to price match in-store from their own website however. It’s a pretty reliable means of saving a few bucks on toys, electronics, towels, clothing, home goods, and so on.

“We had the Greatest Six Months of any President in the History of our Country, and all the Fake News wants to talk about is the Jeffrey Epstein Hoax!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday, evidently too distracted by Jeffrey Epstein to stay focused on the incredibly important story about the coup that Obama, Biden, Hillary, Comey, and Brennan attempted in December 2016.

“After much reflection, I have decided to resign from my position as Chair of the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System, effective at the close of business today, July 22, 2025. Serving as Chair of the Federal Reserve has been the honor of my professional life. Over the past years. I have worked alongside dedica-ted colleagues to guide the US economy through extraordinary challenges from the pandemic recovery to inflationary pressures and the ongoing evolution of digital finance.”

“I am proud of what we have accomplished. However, at this critical juncture, I believe new leadership is needed to carry forward the important work of the Federal Reserve and to reinforce public confidence in its independence and effectiveness, My decision comes from a deep commitment to preserving the institution’s credibility, integrity, and mission. I remain confident in the strength and resilience of the American economy and in the professionalism of the Federal Reserve staff. I am grateful for the opportunity to have served, and I extend my full support to my successor as they continue the vital work of fostering maximum employment and price stability,” says a letter from Fed chair Jerome Powell to President Trump as posted by Utah Senator Mike Lee on Tuesday.

Ghislaine Maxwell is currently serving her sentence for trafficking. At the request of Attorney General Bondi and the House Oversight Committee, we look forward to hearing what she has to share with the American people.

Her safety is a top priority at this time. Any suspicious…

— Rep. Anna Paulina Luna (@RepLuna) July 22, 2025

“Any suspicious activity or threats to her well-being will be thoroughly investigated, and the full weight of the US government will be brought down on anyone who attempts to interfere with an ongoing investigation. The President has ordered transparency,” continued Luna in the tweet.

Famed drug and alcohol abuser Ozzy Osbourne’s lifestyle caught up with him on Tuesday, Sky News reports. Obviously it took a while given that he was 76, nearly 50 years more than it took, just as examples, Amy Winehouse and Jim Morrison’s lifestyles to catch up with them. Good for Ozzy.

Former parking lot lawyer turned Acting US Attorney for New Jersey Alina Habba isn’t acting anymore as the federal judges in her district on Tuesday declined to extend her 120-day appointment to the post without confirmation by the US Senate, the New Jersey Globe reports.

Habba could still serve another 210 days through some loophole if other useless asshole Attorney General Pam Bondi so chooses, but that’d probably be delaying the inevitable since there’s no chance in hell Senators Cory Booker and Andy Kim are going to want to give her a Blue Slip. The Senate GOP could always blow up the Blue Slip system but that’d be blowing it up.

Hey remember when Trump’s campaign put out all those signs that said “KAMALA: HIGH PRICES / TRUMP: LOW PRICES”? Well turns out he was completely full of shit about that because the AP reports a pound of ground beef averaged $6.12 nationwide in June, up 12 percent from a year earlier, while “beef steaks” rose 8 percent to $11.49 per pound. That fat, lying fuck, right?

Ay nako! President BongBong is in White House with makulit baho lalaki na.

A comparison of convicted felon President Trump’s net approval rating from the January 26 – 28th Economist/YouGov national survey to the July 18 – 21st edition finds the fat fuck’s net approval rating dropping 20 percent, from +6 at 49 percent approve to 43 percent disapprove at the start of his second already failed administration to -14 at 41 percent approve to 55 percent disapprove.

The degenerate old sack of shit is even 1 percent underwater with white voters at 48 to 49 percent approve/disapprove, down from 56 percent approve to 39 disapprove in January.

And since they asked, Trump’s approval on “Do you approve or disapprove of the way Donald Trump is handling investigations into Jeffrey Epstein?” is at 22 percent, lower than the 31 percent approval to 61 percent disapproval he scored on “Prices/Inflation”. Among his own voters just 45 percent “approve,” which is them lying to themselves and the pollster, while 32 percent disapprove and 23 percent didn’t know how to answer. Contrast this with “Do you think the government is covering up evidence it has about Epstein?” in which 69 percent overall said “Yes” to 23 percent “Not sure” and just 9 percent “No,” while among 2024 Trump voters it’s 52 percent yes, 30 percent not sure, and 18 percent no. Who the fuck do these “Yes” Trump fans think runs “the government”?

On “Should the government release all the documents that it has about the Jeffrey Epstein case?” 6 percent of Trump fans said no and 15 percent were not sure, like they’re afraid of what’s in them.