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This friggin seagull got turned into fucking applesauce by a fighter jet in Spain last month, the Telegraph reports based on the belated discovery of a photo of the cockpit hatch impact by an aviation photographer. Javier Alonso de Medina Salguero recently discovered the seagull-splosion by re-checking his camera roll from the June 15th Eurofighter display at San Javier Air Base after hearing that one of the $98 million fighter jets had suffered minor damage during the show.

And holy shit, what a pic. Just a little cloud of red chunks and feathers. Friggin gross.

A motion to subpoena Jeffrey Epstein’s co-pimp Ghislaine Maxwell passed the House Oversight by voice vote on Tuesday, Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman reports on a pretty dramatic escalation.

Jesus Dork Mike Johnson, who ground the House to a halt on Monday night over repeated moves by Dems and not a small number of Republicans to force votes compelling the release of the Epstein files said “There is no majority in the history of this body that can wield power unless it stands together” and then in a longer statement tried to slip in some bromides about being “careful” about releasing files with “I’ve been on record very clearly that I believe in maximum transparency. I think every single House Republican will say the same thing. In fact, they told me that publicly and privately… We want maximum transparency. We also understand the other part of that duty is that we have to protect innocent victims. Okay, we have to do both things at the same time. What do we mean by that? Look involved in the Epstein evil. Okay, which is what it was? Let’s call it what it was.”

“There are innocent victims of those unspeakable sex crimes, okay? It some of them were minors, some of them were not. When the Epstein records are turned over to the public, which we must do as quickly as possible, we have to also be very judicious and careful about protecting the innocent. I think everybody in the country should understand the necessity of that,” Johnson continued.

Johnson then pulled the plug on the House until September 2nd, canceling Thursday’s session, and yeah a dead man just ground the United States Congress to a complete halt for a month and a half.

Today’s statement by Pam Bondi seems like a massive cope. Why wasn’t this “interview” with Ghislaine Maxwell done on day 1?

I guess what I want to know is whether the DOJ is basically saying they have never met with Ghislaine Maxwell to ask her or interview her about whether she… https://t.co/X6qYB89046

— Laura Loomer (@LauraLoomer) July 22, 2025

Continued after the cutoff: “…whether she has information about sex crimes committed against minors… Shouldn’t they have already done this? Maybe there is a mix up in communication. But I just can’t help but wonder whether or not this has already happened. And if not, why?”

…Ah fuck a Republican just died literally hours after Dem State Senator Nicole Mitchell was convicted of felony burglary in a not very clear-cut case. Stupid story short, the AP reports that Mitchell had last year entered her stepmother’s home without permission to retrieve her late father’s ashes and some other personal effects she said were hers. Mitchell had told colleagues she would resign if convicted and she’s following through, despite the grey area nature of the crime.

And Republicans were thrilled by the news because they would’ve had the majority. And they kind of were about to – after Mitchell’s resignation is effected August 4th – until 75 year-old Republican Bruce Anderson died unexpectedly Monday night, which sure sucks for them. It’s the third bad break for the caucus this year given Vance Boelter’s shitty aim and Justin Eichorn’s pedophilia.

Sources tell the Texas Tribune that wimpy Governor Greg Abbott doesn’t actually want to redraw the Lone Star State’s congressional districts and only called the special session to attempt gerrymander some Republican districts after being commanded to do so by convicted felon President Trump.

As previously reported, Abbott wasn’t alone in this but now the Tribune says it was actually a majority of the 25 Republican Congressmen/women from Texas who were opposed given the risks involved, further underscoring how desperate the fat fuck is to avoid losing the House.

And then there’s California, where Gov Gavin Newsom is looking to even the score and has a lot more room to work with. “California has a much better hand, because we are starting from the partisan-neutral map,” said Paul Mitchell, an independent redistricting expert who’s been working with Newsom lately. Mitchell estimates at least four very solid flips can be squeezed from the Golden State’s maps. Republicans in Texas on the other hand might not end up with any flips.

“This Department of Justice does not shy away from uncomfortable truths, nor from the responsibility to pursue justice wherever the facts may lead. The joint statement by the DOJ and FBI of July 6 remains as accurate today as it was when it was written. Namely, that in the recent thorough review of the files maintained by the FBI in the Epstein case, no evidence was uncovered that could predicate an investigation against uncharged third parties. President Trump has told us to release all credible evidence. If Ghislaine Maxwell has information about anyone who has committed crimes against victims, the FBI and the DOJ will hear what she has to say.”

“Therefore, at the direction of Attorney General Bondi, I have communicated with counsel for Ms Maxwell to determine whether she would be willing to speak with prosecutors from the Department.”

“I anticipate meeting with Ms Maxwell in the coming days. Until now, no administration on behalf of the Department had inquired about her willingness to meet with the government. That changes now,” says Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche in a statement likely preceding Maxwell’s suicide, possibly by his own hands as his means of proving fanatic loyalty to the Orange Tyrant.

The head of FEMA’s Urban Search and Rescue branch called it quits Monday amid frustration over the bullshit red tape that dog murdering Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem put in place, hampering his division’s response to the flooding in Texas that killed over 140 people, CNN reports.

Ken Pagurek did not mention the 72-hour delay for deploying the teams in a letter announcing his return to the Philadelphia Fire Department but sources within FEMA told CNN that Noem’s feckless micromanagement, requiring personal approval for any expenditure above $100,000 – which is basically everything FEMA does in a disaster response – was the tipping point for his departure.

“It is laughable that a career public employee, who claims to serve the American people, would choose to resign over our refusal to hastily approve a six-figure deployment contract without basic financial oversight,” a DHS spokesworm said in a statement on Pagurek’s resignation. “We’re being responsible with taxpayer dollars, that’s our job,” the reich shitbag continued and Jesus Christ they actually said that instead of “Our job is to respond to natural disasters and save every life we can.”

Florida man arrested for allegedly driving lawn mower drunk down busy highway https://t.co/615ZjgSnXf pic.twitter.com/jVZrRRYOzs

— New York Post (@nypost) July 22, 2025

Like so fucking what he was drunk and on a ride-on mower on a public highway? Where’s the fireworks, the guns, the panthers and alligators on leashes? The stolen sex dolls, bath salts, the homemade flamethrower? This just isn’t doing it, New York Post. Up your Florida game.

“The ‘Dog Days of Summer’ are in full swing for most of the eastern two-thirds of the country as a strengthening heat dome over the Mississippi and Ohio Valleys gradually builds over the eastern US by the second half of the week. Temperatures soaring into the upper 90s will be high enough to set some localized daily records in the Southeast for late July. In addition, overnight/morning low temperatures dropping only into the mid to upper 70s will break a greater number of warm minimum temperature records. Heat indices from the Central Plains to the Southeast will range between 100-110F each day with localized readings potentially reaching 115F. HeatRisk depicts Major to locally Extreme levels across the Deep South and Lower Mississippi Valley today, with the Major levels footprint growing in size across the Midwest through Wednesday. Extreme Heat Warnings are in place for parts of the Central Plains and lower to mid-Mississippi Valley together with Extreme Heat Watches across the Midwest, including the majority of the Chicagoland area. Meanwhile, Heat Advisories encompass much of the Deep South and northern Florida. WPC continues to carry Key Messages for this ongoing heat wave” says an update from the National Weather Service.

“Obama himself manufactured the Russia, Russia, Russia HOAX. Crooked Hillary, Sleepy Joe, and numerous others participated in this, THE CRIME OF THE CENTURY! Irrefutable EVIDENCE. A major threat to our Country!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday.

Set aside why he’s not actually doing anything to Obama, Hillary, or Biden for the “Russia, Russia, Russia CRIME OF THE CENTURY” and ponder whether if that was so bad, then wouldn’t framing a shit ton of people for being the clients of a sex trafficking ring be like considerably worse? Like Trump literally said that Obama and the other Dems – and some non-Dems like James Comey and John Brennan – made it up, so the Epstein “hoax” must be the CRIME OF THE MILLENNIUM, right?

Carolyn Feinstein, wife of ICEBlock app developer Josh Aaron, tells the Daily Beast she’s been canned from her job as a forensic accountant for the Justice Department’s Office of the US Trustee as obvious “retribution” for the app her husband created to help undocumented migrants evade the Trump Regime’s violent, masked stormtroopers raids on immigrant communities nationwide.

“This was retribution. I was fired because of the actions, or activism, of my husband,” Feinstein told the Beast. “It is insulting to me because I dedicated myself and my career to serving the people of the United States, and now the DOJ is claiming I was attempting to harm some of them. And that’s not true,” Feinstein continued, adding that she actually told her superiors that her husband had created to app as she was concerned about death threats from MAGA terrorists. “Since we live in the same house, I thought it was pertinent to contact my employer, the DOJ, to notify them of death threats that were coming in and just in case I needed to be out of the office, so they’d be prepared.”

“They asked me about my relationship to the ICEBlock App,” Feinstein said. “And I informed them in so many words that I really didn’t have any relationship or involvement in the app, I was married to the creator.” And that had been the end of it until Laura Loomer tracked her down and posted about it last Wednesday, leading to a Tom Homan bit on Newsmax and, pretty quickly, a pink slip.

“Crime in American Cities started to significantly rise when they went to CASHLESS BAIL. The WORST criminals are flooding our streets and endangering even our great law enforcement officers.”

“It is a complete disaster, and must be ended, IMMEDIATELY!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday. Kind of beta and Low-T to be just complaining rather than doing something.

Convicted felon President Trump’s batshit stupid lawsuit against the Wall Street Journal has been assigned to Obama-appointee Judge Darrin Gayles, AllRise’s Adam Klasfeld reports.

Spartan is unfortunately experiencing medical issues requiring urgent care that will make it impossible to continue the usual Sunday production schedule. These issues are not life threatening or particularly grave but urgent nonetheless because it’s a really fucking painful and obnoxious esophageal blockage preventing the consumption of food and water necessary to function.

Last month after convicted felon President Trump ordered US Air Force bombers to strike Iran’s nuclear facilities it was pretty obvious what was going to happen to him politically, domestically after the dust clear and the limited scope of the attack became clear: His fanboys on the Israel-skeptic (using that generously, because a lot of them don’t deserve such generosity) and/or anti-“Neocon” cohorts would more or less get over it and move on to their next bullshit news cycle.

He always finds some way out when his cultists grumble, no small thanks to the MAGA propaganda-industrial complex which always finds a way to make him right and his cause just in the end. Tariffs aren’t a tax on Americans, they’re a means of combatting fentanyl, reshoring American jobs, punishing Brazil for being woke and using their justice system to bring accountability to Jair Bolsonaro, bringing fairness to international trade, rebalancing relationships with trading partners, protecting domestic penguin shit markets from foreign penguin shit producers, and getting Canada to self-annex as the 51st state, depending on what day of the week it is. We’re only deporting criminals, not family-oriented undocumented immigrants, but every undocumented immigrant is illegal so we need to deport them although the farm industry needs the labor but that would be amnesty so we’re just going to deport them until somebody changes his mind again. Elon Musk should be denaturalized, deported, and stripped of all his federal contracts but hey Grok is super cool so let’s sign a new one for $200 million so Defense Department personnel can learn interesting new insights about how Hitler kind of had a point when you really think about it.

It’s not so much that these outcomes were predictable so much as they weren’t terribly surprising.

“I have asked the Justice Department to release all Grand Jury testimony with respect to Jeffrey Epstein, subject only to Court Approval. With that being said, and even if the Court gave its full and unwavering approval, nothing will be good enough for the troublemakers and radical left lunatics making the request. It will always be more, more, more. MAGA!” posted Jeffrey Epstein’s close friend on Saturday, realizing that he created these expectations and is stuck in a trap of his own making.

The fat bastard then lied about a different matter. “All three nuclear sites in Iran were completely destroyed and/or OBLITERATED. It would take years to bring them back into service and, if Iran wanted to do so, they would be much better off starting anew, in three different locations, prior to those sites being obliterated, should they decide to do so. Thank you for your attention to this matter!” Trump wrote, evidently keen on giving the Iranians unsolicited strategic advice.

An unidentified 61 year-old Long Island man got an important lesson in how magnets work when he ignored what were no doubt multiple the warning signs on the walls of a Westbury medical practice walked into a room with an MRI machine actively performing a scan while wearing a chain around his neck on Wednesday, but sadly will be unable to apply such knowledge gained in future experiments with the incredible force of nature as he died of his injuries the next day, ABC 7 reports.

“If this was a chain that was wrapped around the neck, I could imagine any kind of strangulation injuries that could happen, asphyxiation, cervical spine injuries if the patient was slams against the MRI, you know, any kind of blunt force trauma that we can think about could happen,” said Dr Payal Sud, emergency room physician at nearby North Shore University Hospital, providing expert comment for the article. Worth noting that Dr Sud’s area of expertise is in apparently in traumatic injuries rather than MRI machine examination procedures. Almost like that was more pertinent here.

If there is one single film that more than Predator, Aliens, any of the Star Wars, Marvel, or DC Comics superhero movies responsible for the ethos, the very being of National Zero, this might be it. The Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John of this time from this site is just so dumb and essential all the same…

Will come back to this… Thousands of words… “Sam, I will find you…” lol…