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Among the various cronies and scumbags who were pardoned and/or freed from prison this week by convicted felon President Trump such as corrupt ex-Puerto Rico Gov Wanda Vazquez Garced and her accomplice Julio Herrera Velutini – whose daughter donated $1 million to a Trump PAC ahead of the amnesty – was a sleeper hit commutation for Arkansas meth dealer James Womack.

The hillbilly drug trafficker was a little under two years’ into his eight year bid for distribution when the Orange God Emperor sprung him on Friday because for his friends everything, for his enemies the law, as Crystal Jim’s father is none other than MAGA Congressman Steve Womack. A Trump White House minion told the Daily Beast that it was “humanitarian” because Womack’s wife has abdominal cancer and his other son effectively disabled from a serious seizure disorder.

Okay, sure. They’re in a rough spot. So are plenty of other federal inmates’ families and the fact that they’re even fucking pretending this was strictly based on those circumstances – with Womack telling the New York Times that Trump’s “gracious and thoughtful action” has “allowed my son to be with his family during a profoundly difficult time” – rather than the fact that his dad’s a loyal Trump ballsucker actually makes it kinda worse, right? Should’ve just made some shit up about James going to do work for a meth addiction support organization or something like that, made it about contrition and reform – instead of Steve Womack needing to stay in the House’s tiny GOP majority rather than resign to take care of his wife and son because the meth dealer’s in the clink.

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime is preparing as many as 1,500 active duty troops for deployment in Minneapolis to stand around, look intimidating, and not much else, Fox News reports.

Remember when it was a joke to suspect someone with power over you was “Deep State”? Haha!

Convicted felon President Trump on Saturday posted a 400+ word scream at Western Europe for failing to submit to his unstoppable iron determination to acquire Greenland for his empire:

“We have subsidized Denmark, and all of the Countries of the European Union, and others, for many years by not charging them Tariffs, or any other forms of remuneration. Now, after Centuries, it is time for Denmark to give back – World Peace is at stake! China and Russia want Greenland, and there is not a thing that Denmark can do about it. They currently have two dogsleds as protection, one added recently. Only the United States of America, under PRESIDENT DONALD J TRUMP, can play in this game, and very successfully, at that! Nobody will touch this sacred piece of Land, especially since the National Security of the United States, and the World at large, is at stake. On top of everything else, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, France, Germany, The United Kingdom, The Netherlands, and Finland have journeyed to Greenland, for purposes unknown. This is a very dangerous situation for the Safety, Security, and Survival of our Planet. These Countries, who are playing this very dangerous game, have put a level of risk in play that is not tenable or sustainable.”

A number of individual MAGA voters who responded to the Associated Press and NORC’s national survey from earlier this week were subsequently interviewed and asked to elaborate on how they thought things were going, like 64 year-old John Candela, of New Rochelle, New York, who said the cost of living is the same, his income hasn’t increased, and bills haven’t gone down.

“Still paying $5 for Oreos,” said Candela, who did not name the price point for the iconic cookie brand he’d had expected a standard 13.6 ounce pack to be by this point when he’d cast a ballot for convicted felon President Trump back in November 2024. Yet Candela’s willing to be patient, telling an AP reporter “I would expect it to be different by the time his four years are up,” as if it remains necessary for him to lie to himself and someone he’s never met before about stupid Trump.

“I don’t like the man as a human being. I don’t like his brashness. I don’t like his roughness. I don’t like how he types out his texts all capital as if he’s yelling at everybody. But what I approve of is what he is doing to try and get the country on track,” Candela then added, not actually saying how he appreciates the “trying” if Oreos are still $5 a pack at wherever he buys his groceries.

These are dark times for our Nation, as CNN’s Kaitlan Collins reports that the Trump Regime’s Department of Injustice have opened criminal investigation into Minnesota Governor Tim Walz and Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey. Nothing like this has ever happened to a governor or mayor in the United States before. After working and cooperating with the relevant Government agencies, this unannounced “investigation” into the two elected officials is not necessary or appropriate.

It is prosecutorial misconduct, the weaponization of the Justice System, and an attack by Radical MAGA Republicans who desperately don’t Frey to run for Senate in 2030, who will likewise do anything to stop Democrats and Liberals in the upcoming Midterm Elections. Such an assault could only take place in broken, Third-World Countries. Sadly, America has now become one of those Countries, corrupt at a level not seen before. The political persecution of Minnesota Governor Tim Walz and Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey has been going on for years, with the now fully debunked Somalia, Somalia, Somalia Hoax, the fake “Tampon Tim” Hoax, and so much more, it just never ends.

It is political targeting at the highest level! Donald Trump was allowed to run for president again after inciting a violent assault on Congress. Absolutely nothing has happened to hold him accountable. He even took classified documents, and other items from the White House. Walz and Frey stood up to ICE’s brutality, fought to protect Minnesotans, and truly delivered for the state, like we have never seen before. The MAGA establishment hates it. Now, as they watch Democrat candidates win big special election victories, and see their dominance in all polls, they are trying to stop them, and the Democratic Party, once more. The lawlessness, political persecution, and Witch Hunt must be exposed and stopped. Walz and Frey will continue to fight for the Great Minnesotan People!

National Zero will resume our regular coverage after mad-libbing this August 8, 2022 Trump statement to use to report the very real news about the “investigation” into Walz and Frey.

“The US Department of Education (the Department) today announced that it will delay the implementation of involuntary collections on federal student loans, including Administrative Wage Garnishment (AWG) and the Treasury Offset Program (TOP). The temporary delay will enable the Department to implement major student loan repayment reforms under the Working Families Tax Cuts Act (the Act) to give borrowers more options to repay their loans. These reforms, which include simplifying repayment options and providing an additional opportunity for borrowers to rehabilitate their federal student loans, reflect the Trump Administration’s commitment to provide better support for current and future borrowers in repayment,” says the World Wrestling Entertainment former CEO-led US Department of Education in a pretty goddamned obvious bitch-out from inflicting needless suffering when they’re pretending to lower the cost of living for voters.

“In Minnesota, the Troublemakers, Agitators, and Insurrectionists are, in many cases, highly paid professionals. The Governor and Mayor don’t know what to do, they have totally lost control, and our currently being rendered, USELESS! If, and when, I am forced to act, it will be solved, QUICKLY and EFFECTIVELY! President DJT” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday.

Act then, fat tits. Those protestors aren’t going to stop cashing their Soros checks on their own.

A new Marist College national survey finds “36 percent of Americans approve of how President Trump is handling the economy. 57 percent disapprove, and 7 percent are unsure. President Trump’s approval rating on the economy is unchanged from last month (36 percent),” while “38 percent of Americans approve of how President Trump is performing in office. 56 percent disapprove, and 6 percent are unsure. The President’s job approval rating is unchanged from 38 percent in December of 2025. Americans are twice as likely to strongly disapprove of how the President is doing his job (47 percent) than to strongly approve (23 percent),” and goddamn those 23 percent are extra sad.

Jesus Dork Speaker of the House Mike Johnson on Thursday arrived at Andrews Air Force Base expecting to jet off to London only to be told his designated plane was experiencing some mechanical issues. Per Punchbowl News, officials offered to bump another Congressional delegation off their flight but he declined and booked an economy-plus United Airlines seat to head to England.

Which means one of two things happened: (A) Johnson called Trump, JD Vance, or Pete Hegseth to ask to borrow Air Force One or some other government/military plane that wasn’t booked and was told “Lol, no” or (B) He didn’t even bother asking because he knew the answer would be “Lol, no.”

Look, you can laugh all day about the Trump Regime caring so little about the second in line to the presidency and the top-ranking elected official in a putatively coequal branch of government that he has to book a commercial ticket, question whether there’s any real actual purpose to him flying to London to exchange awkward handshakes with Tory leaders, and so on. It’s funny when it happens to Mike Johnson. But to the Speaker of the House, especially when in 350-odd days that Speaker of the House is more likely than not to be Hakeem Jeffries? No, that’s not cool. Even if you wouldn’t be all that upset if five burly soccer hooligans somehow drunkenly mistook Johnson for Inter Milan’s president and summarily throttled him to death while the United flight was two hours from the nearest landmass with a runway it could divert to, the office is important enough to merit access to a plane good enough to take a high-ranking passenger. Doesn’t mean there has to be a “Speaker Force One” fueled, crewed, and flight-ready 24/7 everywhere he goes, but the largest single air fleet in the world also should be able to shake one loose for him or her at the last minute if need be.

“Brooklyn Football Club (Brooklyn FC) men today announced that it has signed American midfielder Peter Mangione to its inaugural USL Championship roster, pending league and federation approval.”

“Mangione, 24, an American midfielder from Hunt Valley, Md, joins Brooklyn from the FC Cincinnati organization after turning pro with FC Cincinnati 2 in MLS NEXT Pro. He built his resume at Penn State, where he scored 31 career goals and earned Big Ten Offensive Player of the Year honors in 2021 and 2023. Mangione played a key role for FC Cincinnati 2 in 2025, making 28 appearances (26 starts) and recording two goals and five assists across 2,218 minutes. He brings a balanced midfield profile to Brooklyn, with the engine to cover ground and the end product to impact matches in the final third. Brooklyn FC will debut in the USL Championship on March 8, 2026 when the team takes on Indy Eleven at Maimonides Park,” said Brooklyn FC in a press release on Wednesday.

The absolute killer shot Mangione’s new home field is just under six miles from where his absolute killer shot cousin Luigi is incarcerated awaiting trial. Soccer fan Nicolas Maduro is staying there too.

President Donald J. Trump meets with María Corina Machado of Venezuela in the Oval Office, during which she presented the President with her Nobel Peace Prize in recognition and honor.🕊️ pic.twitter.com/v7pYHjVNVO

— The White House (@WhiteHouse) January 16, 2026

Now it’s not totally set in stone that Trump will forego any serious action to support Maria Corina Machado for Venezuela’s presidency – and it was also worth trying for her since it’s just a medal.

And yet it would seem more likely than not that the Orange God Emperor is happy enough with Delcy Rodriguez and won’t be particularly forcibly demanding she let Machado back into the country to stand in a free and fair election under pain of more military action or sanctions against Caracas.

Trump got the oil, “his” Nobel Peace Prize, and Machado gets his “gratitude” for the token plus absolutely brutal derision from Norwegian elites in the Nobel Committee’s orbit, like an Oslo professor and former politician who called her “gift” to Donald “meaningless” and “pathetic,” that showed “a total lack of respect for the award, on her part,” according to Bloomberg.

Really the only question now is – assuming he’s still alive on January 21st, 2029 and a Dem candidate wins the presidency in 2028 – whether the future DC US Attorney is going to have the balls to prosecute him for felony theft of US government property. There’s no need to “assume” the fat fuck is going to take the medal with him to Mar-a-Lago because assumption implies a conditional sequence. He will take it with him and a self-pardon on the way out the door won’t mean shit if he’s still in possession of stolen federal government property as of the end of his term, so nail him on it.

The top daily periodical of the financial industry of the largest economy on the planet on Friday printed a little ditty headlined “The Chain-Smoking Rock Star Who Made Indiana Football Hurt So Good: From a wooden shack atop the stadium, John Mellencamp has overseen the team’s transformation from laughingstock to No 1,” illustrated by a photo of Mellencamp standing in front of a bronze statue of his likeness installed on the campus of the Hoosier State’s top public university.

The article contains exceedingly pro-John Cougar Mellencamp content some individuals may find unnecessarily effusive to the point of being emotionally disturbing. Reader discretion is advised.

Convicted felon President Trump and his lowly minions are starting to worry about the public blowback to the quasi-genocidal campaign against non-US citizens who run afoul of their reich, with abysmal recent internal GOP polling numbers – but not that recent as it was conducted before Renee Good was murdered by an ICE agent – a particular source of anxiety, sources tell Axios.

The polling, which found 60 percent of indy voters and 58 percent of undecideds saying the Orange Caesar was “too focused” on deporting illegal immigrants as well as 33 percent saying Trump was primarily deporting otherwise law-abiding illegal immigrants as opposed to criminals, is actually not even that bad compared to where it could or – really should – be. Nevertheless the growing backlash has prompted Hill GOP members to complain that the brutality in Minneapolis has been “dominating the news and obscuring the White House’s work on cost-of-living issues that congressional Republicans, Trump and his team see as more important,” Axios writes, and fuckin lol at that part.

Seriously what the hell are they thinking? That ICE fulfilling its stated mission of apprehending criminal illegal aliens with competence, professionalism, and discretion would allow for more bandwidth to lie to people about their grocery prices going down? The GOP should at least be happy to be in their comfort zone of lying about Minneapolis and more or less outright saying that a leftist lesbian tried to kill an ICE agent with her vehicle and thus deserved to get shot in the face three times. That’s much more in their wheelhouse than being confronted with evidence that they have not and never did intend to follow through on addressing their main 2024 campaign issue via policy.

SCIENCE FUNDING: The ⁠Senate voted on Thursday to approve billions of dollars in funding for federal science agencies, rejecting deep cuts proposed ⁠by the White House. https://t.co/KzhmLoRCvu

— NEWSMAX (@NEWSMAX) January 16, 2026

“It was my Great Honor to meet María Corina Machado, of Venezuela, today. She is a wonderful woman who has been through so much. María presented me with her Nobel Peace Prize for the work I have done. Such a wonderful gesture of mutual respect. Thank you María!” posted the fat toddler on Thursday, making it unambiguous he now “owns” an official Nobel Peace Prize.