Convicted felon President Trump’s reich on Monday petitioned the Supreme Court to restrict mail-in voting to only those on a “state citizenship list” in November’s midterms, the AP reports.

“Pursuant to House Rule XI, clause 3(b)(8)(A), and Committee Rules 17A(b)(1)(A) and 17A(c)(1), the Committee on Ethics has extended the matter regarding Representative Lance Gooden, which was transmitted to the Committee by the Office of Congressional Conduct on June 10, 2026. The Committee notes that the mere fact of a referral or an extension, and the mandatory disclosure of such an extension and the name of the subject of the matter, does not itself indicate that any violation has occurred, or reflect any judgment on behalf of the Committee,” says a notice from the House Ethics Committee posted Monday.

Facing the same deranged and often violent market for their products in the US, the Japanese wing of the Pokemon Company last week announced that their stores in the fictional cartoon fighting animal brand will now employ facial recognition technology in order to throttle the rampant scalping of new releases in the Pokemon Trading Card game, Kotaku reports. “To ensure compliance with appropriate entry and purchase rules, we will be using a facial recognition system to verify the identity of customers aged elementary school age and older when they enter the store and receive their numbered tickets,” the company said in announcement, the “tickets” being a voucher that allows the bearer to actually purchase a box of the increasingly expensive collector-sought cards.

This is on top of the May policy announcement that buyers will need to present a Japanese government-issued ID to buy certain cards and/or enter the “lottery” to get the chance to buy other certain cards or boxed collections ahead of their releases to the company-owned retail stores.

It’s not clear when the new GOP line will be “You need to show a photo ID to buy Pokemon cards in Japan, therefore you should have to show it when you vote in American elections.”

Nearly-dead Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell’s office on Monday announced, per Punchbowl’s Andrew Desiderio, that Mitch “continues his recovery from a fall at home in June. OAP physicians visit with the Senator every day, discussing all aspects of his rehabilitation care. Since his discharge from hospital care, he has maintained a strenuous course of physical therapy and rehabilitation, including multiple sessions a day designed to rebuild strength and reduce the risk of future falls.”

“His bout with childhood polio continues to be a significant factor in his mobility. He is not yet medically cleared to leave the rehab facility and return to the office,” the statement continued.

Despite having survived the immediate “controversy” over the aborted logo redesign last August that prompted legions of overly vocal crackers to erupt in outrage and cost investors $100 million, Cracker Barrel CEO Julie Masino is headed for the exit, the Wall Street Journal reports.

Former Outback Steakhouse CEO David Deno will take over on August 10th. It’s not clear if this means that Cracker Barrel will begin offering its own version of the Bloomin Onion.

“John Thune should not allow the United States Senate to ‘leave town’ until it passes The Save America Act or, far better still, TERMINATES THE FILIBUSTER, where Republicans can then quickly pass everything they ever dreamed of, including a full and deep throated SAVE AMERICA ACT, the Budget, and the ever looming Debt Ceiling disaster, 1929! The Dumocrats will do it on day one, and can’t believe how lucky they got with this Senate leadership. Remember, stupidity always brings LOSING and DEATH!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday, continuing his obsession.

Gravely ill both mentally and physically for years, convicted felon President Trump has obviously always had a love of posting insane bullshit and nonsensical memes. This, however, seems like a serious escalation… “It’s our oil tanker now” was stupid once so why the hell post it four times?

An anonymous 42 year-old Brooklyn scooterist suffered extremely mild injuries when he lost control of a rented Lyft scooter on a bike bath in Baltimore on Sunday morning, National Zero reports and yes this actually happened, lol. No, I did not go the hospital nor did I need to, and I simply righted the scooter and continued on my way to a nearby Catholic church to attend a baptism mass.

Pain is like a 2 out of 10. I am fine. This is not the reason it’s been 27 hours since the most recent article so much as a symptom of the same cause: out-of-town social obligations, hotel stay, nine hour-long party, so on. At the same time, my own scooter crash happening the day after the “scooterist” story was too friggin funny not to lead with in the headline and opener here.

An unidentified “scooterist” – described only as a white male in his twenties or thirties – was tragically killed in an accident in New Haven, Connecticut on Thursday night, Fox 71 Hartford reports with almost callousness. Even outright derision toward the poor departed soul, intended or not.

For the station in the Constitution State’s capital city to be describing a misadventure victim in its third largest as a “scooterist” is utterly monstrous. What gives them the right to use what immediately registers as a deeply cruel homophobic slur against a person with friends and loved ones for whom loss has yet to fully sink in? For real, where the fuck do they get off calling him that?

It’s impossible to suppress a giggle seeing the word and even moreso the impropriety of its context as an unidentified accident victim. Which immediately turns to nagging guilt, which then immediately turns to “Alright, whoever wrote this article has something seriously wrong with them, as does the editor for this stupid station’s website who failed to see it and change it to simply ‘Man on scooter.'”

The idiot who runs our country says this but doesn’t have the courage or evidence to come after me. This should tell you how low IQ he is. Trump is who needs to get the hell out of our country because he is destroying it and making us the laughing stock of the world. https://t.co/gFYIPVcSyW

— Ilhan Omar (@IlhanMN) July 25, 2026

See? This is how it’s done. You can ring the bell about the fascism, white nationalism, abuse of power and so on. Every lib with a Twitter or Disqus or YouTube account can and do all day every day. Too few actually take it to the next logical step and say “So fucking do something already, you orange pussy. You’ve only been making empty threats for like eight years now.”

EDITOR’S NOTE: This story should’ve been published June 12th or 13th, but seriously got dragged out the door for a birthday party or something… Or maybe some other shit happened in the news and then this whole article fell by the wayside. It wasn’t finished, probably about 65 percent, but will just wrap it up with a note explaining what the intent was to bring it all around…

“When Julie Slama and her husband moved to a home outside Dunbar, Nebraska, in April 2022, they were happy customers of Elon Musk’s Starlink,” opens a Washington Post article that requires a brief but very funny detour in the pickup here because they really breezed over who Slama is and completely ignore what else happened with her that very same month in that very same year.

True, they say she’s “a Republican and former Nebraska state senator,” and it’s not exactly germane to the story about friggin Starlink but come on. How the hell do they not at least nod at the fact that she publicly accused Trump-endorsed GOP gubernatorial candidate Charles Herbster of sticking his hand up her skirt during a 2019 event and then got sued by Herbster? At least write “getting internet service in her new home was one less headache after moving in the middle of getting hit with a defamation suit for publicly accusing a Trump-endorsed millionaire of sexually assaulting her.”

Herbster – who that month was also outed as an Ashley Madison user, lol – ended up losing the primary and the lawsuit was dismissed that October. Slama dropped her sexual battery case against Dirty Charles and moved on, happy enough paying $90 a month for high speed internet she and her husband need to run their law practice from their house outside of Dunbar, population 156 and 40 miles south of Omaha, given the non-availability of literally any alternatives out in the boonies.

Until it wasn’t $90 a month. “I can complain about Starlink raising their prices, but it’s the only real option we have,” said Slama, adding. “Once they have rural customers on their service with no meaningful alternatives, they’re free to raise prices at will.” Welcome to capitalism, Jules.

“Fresh and Ready Foods LLC is recalling a limited number of Sprig and Sprout Spicy Breakfast Burrito and Fresh and Ready Spicy Breakfast Burrito because they may contain undeclared soy.”

“People who have an allergy or severe sensitivity to soy run the risk of serious or life-threatening allergic reaction if they consume these products. Consumers who do not consume meat should also not consume these products, as the recall was initiated after sausage was found in products labeled vegetarian,” says an FDA alert on the burritos that Fox Local describes as from “vending machines.”

It’s not quite “gas station sushi,” self-evidently problematic for all its connotations, but “vending machine burrito” certainly sits on a similar spectrum of things that human beings probably should not consume, irrespective of any FDA recalls for mundane content mislabelings for soy and meat.

Apparently feeling free to report whatever the want now that convicted felon President Trump’s regime withdrew their subpoenas to the New York Times on Thursday rather than letting a judge quash them, the Gray Lady on Friday printed a story confirming that the fat bastard was under specific threat from Iranian proxies while in Turkey earlier this month, prompting him to switch from Qatar Force One to the real Air Force One upon leaving Ankara at the Secret Service’s urging.

Again, it was pretty goddamned obvious that something like that was happening when the entire White House press pool landed in England and switched to Qatar Force One so the very non-specific nature of the “leak” was always going to be pointless. Yet the fat bastard melted down nonetheless, ruining FBI Director K$H Patel’s weekend with a fruitless witch hunt. And now the Times printed the story.

Three diplomats with contacts in the International Criminal Court tell the AP that top prosecutor Karim Khan has been officially removed from his post following a vote of 125 member delegates following allegations of sexual misconduct involving a female aide and subsequent cover-up fail.

It’s not clear what if anything happens next to the 56 year-old Khan, a British barrister, in terms of further consequences but just getting fired from that kind of job for being unable to ignore the impulses of his loins and then botching the cover-up is pretty embarrassing. If he’s not disbarred then he can always head back home and open up a personal injury practice or divorce firm.

Far more importantly however is what this means for the court’s future amid what the AP writes is “a campaign by the United States to ‘dismantle’ the ICC, which was established to prosecute people responsible for humanity’s worst crimes” which is basically nothing, really. A government headed by Donald Trump of all people trying to undermine the legitimacy of a court because its top prosecutor was a scumbag with a woman is like Jeffrey Dahmer calling BTK a depraved sadist. Instead it’s a “kangaroo court,” which is still fucking ridiculous considering the “8647” case against James Comey, but the push against the ICC is still real nonetheless. Rubio claims he’s in this to “dismantle the threat posed by the International Criminal Court to US sovereignty,” by pressuring member states to withdraw, leveling sanctions, and so on. How successful he’ll be is TBD, but one would think it would take more than two and a half years to unwind a still toothy tribunal with 125 members.

“President Xi, at our recent meeting in Beijing, China, told me that he would not, under any circumstances, give or sell Weapons to the Islamic Republic of Iran – And that statement included Chinese Companies. Considering our relationship, I take him at his word and, besides, l am doing him very big favors, also. Likewise, President Putin, despite the horrible War going on in Ukraine (The relationship remains, as it does with President Zelenskyy), told me that he would not sell Weapons to Iran. He understands that I do not sell Weapons to Ukraine, but to NATO Countries. They pay full price, and how those Weapons are distributed, I have no idea. Therefore, two major Countries that people speak of often in terms of Iran are, in my opinion, not participating. If they did, it would be very bad for them – Certainly not in their best interests,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday in what sure sounds like a very limited hangout of something far worse for US interests.

Weren’t we told that Trump is so tough on foreign dictators that he would tame them? That they were way more afraid of him than, say, Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, and Kamala Harris, who were weak for relying too much on advisors with expertise in diplomacy and warfare? Rings a bell, right?

Steve Hilton just dropped a BANGER Campaign Ad Defeating the California Democrat Machine.

So good.

Absolute cinema 🔥 pic.twitter.com/hQLClEOUAX

— Benny Johnson (@bennyjohnson) July 24, 2026

🚨🚨🚨 HOLY SHIT 🚨🚨🚨 WOW! 🚨🚨🚨 Commenting on Supreme White House Information Minister Karoline Leavitt’s Thursday statement that convicted felon President Trump’s “patience is running out” with Senate Majority Leader John Thune’s inability to get 50 votes to change the chamber’s rules to get Trump’s moronic SAVE Act passed, a “longtime GOP operative” who otherwise went unnamed put it right to Trump in a brief conversation with Punchbowl’s Andrew Desiderio.

“Trump knows full well that he can’t flip these votes. Hell, he personally came to the Capitol to berate Senate Republicans into voting for SAVE, and he left empty handed.” SHOTS FIRED.

“Look at who we’re talking about – Murkowski, McConnell, Tillis, and Collins – all members who he’s savaged at one point or another, now he needs their help. All of this comes back to one thing: What happens when Trump can’t do something himself?” the operative said, letting the rhetorical question hang in the air for a brief moment before the EPIC TAKEDOWN in the form of an answer.

“He blames someone else. John Thune is Mr Someone Else,” the operative then said, his words so searing there was no way his name or actual title could be attached to it as he absolutely mangled the president – who in the daylight the operative no doubt praises effusively. What utter genius.