Tehran on Saturday declared the Strait of Hormuz closed again after firing on a ship and inflicting heavy damage on it, Axios reports on Trump’s mission accomplished.

Convicted felon President Trump is not having fun this Saturday. In fact you could say he’s downright miserable based on this very lengthy Truth Social Post: “It’s incredible! I win the Election IN A LANDSLIDE against the entire Dumocrat Party, and almost 100 percent negative news – I won 86 percent of the Counties in America, 2,750 to 525, won the Electoral College, 312 to 226, was the first Republican in decades to win the Popular Vote, and decisively won all seven Swing States, all 50 States shifted toward the Republican Party for the first time, EVER – and I had to run against not one Candidate, but two, Sleepy Joe and Kamala, which has never happened before, against almost 100 percent negative press and Fake News, all of them willing to do anything that I lose – and yet especially Maggot Hagerman, one of the most unattractive people in the News ‘Business,’ and her lightweight assistant, Jonathan Swan, and The Failing New York Times itself, which spends all of its energy on negative stories about me. All I do is WIN, often against all odds but, after the Big Election Success, there’s no, ‘Gee, he won, he did a great job!’ There’s no saying, ‘Maybe we were wrong about him, the people were right’ or, maybe, ‘Congratulations, we wish you Great Success for our Country!’ No, but after I won the Election FOR THE THIRD TIME, the same people start immediately, all over again – The Failing New York Times, The LOST ITS WAY Wall Street Journal, MSDNC (They changed their name to MSNOW because nobody was watching!), Ignorant CNN, with some of the Worst No Name Anchors in History, and all three Fake Networks, ABC, CBS, NBC.”

In a statement Saturday during his father’s lengthy, multi-day funeral ceremonies, Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei vowed revenge against America’s Supreme Leader Donald Trump, saying “we will take revenge for your pure blood and the blood of all the martyrs of these two wars from the criminal and disgraced killers,” per Tehran’s state media outlet via CNN.

“These criminals, whose names from top to bottom are known and documented, will take their wish for a peaceful death in old age and in their beds with them to the grave. They must know that this matter does not depend on my existence or that of other officials,” Khamenei said. Not really sure what the hell that flexibility part makes any sense. “Revenge is the demand of our nation.”

“1000 Missiles are Locked and Loaded and aimed at the Islamic Republic of Iran, with thousands of more to immediately follow, should the Iranian Government act on its threat, pronounced in many corners of the Globe, to assassinate, or attempt to assassinate, the sitting President of the United States of America, in this case, ME! Orders have already been given, and the US Military is ready, willing, and able, for a one year period of time, subject to extension, to completely decimate and destroy all areas of Iran – PRAISE BE TO ALLAH!” posted the Orange Ayatollah on Friday night.

Iowa MAGA Congresswoman Ashley Hinson, the party’s current Senate nominee, has made as much as $7 million since getting elected, according to an analysis by Meidas News.

Former Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem’s mom tells the Daily Mail that her plastic-faced daughter and her bizarre sex freak of a husband have finally agreed to stop pretending and are getting a divorce. “It has been difficult, but we knew this was coming, that they were going to get divorced,” said Corinne Arnold, adding that Byron has already moved out of the family ranch.

Worth noting that Kristi’s effing of longtime Trump goon Corey Lewandowski has been a longtime open secret, like five years now, even while she was still governor of South Dakota but it’s only happening after Byron got outed as a “bimbofication” freak. Could also say a lot about how Kristi feels about her future prospects in politics, that there’s no point in keeping up appearances.

“You get a golden ticket, and using taxpayer dollars, you're an American citizen the rest of your life using our benefits, our dollars. It's outrageous, it's ridiculous.”

— Virginia Rep. John McGuire said birthright citizenship should only apply to those in the United States… pic.twitter.com/cckXY4Z8S3

— NEWSMAX (@NEWSMAX) July 10, 2026

When was the last time a Democrat went on MS Now and hyped up a bill to abolish ICE or create a universal childcare system or whatever and then act like it’s going to pass both chambers and get signed into law? Maybe you can come back with a handful of examples but is it really something that happens every day?

“I will not sign the Housing Bill, which has been fully approved by Congress and sent to the White House, in PROTEST over the fact that the United States Senate is not capable of passing THE SAVE AMERICA ACT, which is polling at 97 percent with the Republican Party, and very high with the non-politician Dumocrats. The Act states, quite simply, that to Vote a person must show PHOTO VOTER ID, PROOF OF CITIZENSHIP, AND THAT THERE WILL BE NO MORE CROOKED, CORRUPT, AND DESTABILIZING MAIL-IN BALLOTS (EXCEPTIONS for Military, Disabled, Illness, and Travel!).”

“THE SAVE AMERICA ACT’S non-passage is CRAZY, and a serious threat to any politician who votes against it! If the Dumocrats, or any RINO (or worse!) working with them, do not allow a positive Vote on SAVE AMERICA, TERMINATE THE FILIBUSTER, and pass this, and every other Bill that true Republicans have ever dreamt of (In addition to the upcoming Budget BOMB and the 1929 catastrophic style DEBT CEILING BILL!). The Dumocrats will TERMINATE THE FILIBUSTER, if and when they ever get the chance to do so, in their very first hour – And I will no longer be able to call them Dumocrats again! The title of DUMB will revert to the Republicans who allowed this horrible calamity to happen to our Party, and our Nation, itself! MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday, evidently committed to the political kamikaze of doing jack shit about housing costs to prioritize other means of cataclysmic self-sabotage.

Switching things up by doing something actually useful, the US House of Representatives next week will vote of a bill to make Daylight Saving Time year-round, Reuters reports but without details on when it come into effect were the bill to pass the Senate and be signed into law this summer.

Probably not a great idea to shoot for this November, as welcome as it would be to finally fucking end this charade. Less than four months’ turnaround could wreak havoc on IT infrastructure that for 19 years has been coded to skip or add an hour at specific intervals – and that’s when people actually want to do it since PCs and phones will require software updates that people ignore or delay the prompts to install. Maybe better to just have one last year of daylight saving dumbassery.

Bravely anonymous per usual, an unnamed House Republican tells Politico that convicted felon President Trump’s failure to end the war with Iran that he started was predictable all along. “He and the Iranian leadership share many common traits: survival and control and self enhancement drive both,” said the congressworm, adding that members had been concerned all along that the “memorandum of understanding” would fail. “Midterms are still beyond Trump’s focus zone. Not screwing us might be his goal, but he’s screwing us into political oblivion.”

“A lot of people thought the [memo] would quiet this down until the election,” said Elliott Abrams, Trump’s former special rep for Iran. “But the Iranians overplayed their hand. They seem to be saying we want it all, and we want it all now, and he’s not prepared to do that.”

Former US Olympian canoeist David Hearn, aka “The Reflecting Pool Molester,” has pleaded not guilty to multiple felony counts of whatever the fuck he was charged with for touching the water of the National Mall Reflecting Pool last month, Scott MacFarlane reports, adding that lib media lawyer Norm Eisen has joined Hearn’s defense team. Probably pro-bono, but no confirmation on that.

Florida’s Palm Beach International Airport officially became a monument to the Orange God Emperor at 5:01 AM on Thursday morning, Fox News reports on this era of endless edification and idolatry.

Whoever said that President Trump can’t extend an olive branch to the opposition party, specifically those who have been credibly accused of sexual violence toward women and/or acts of gross corruption like that one Texas congressman who he pardoned inexplicably last year? The libs who call him a heartless monster incapable of sympathizing with anyone should seriously reconsider that assessment and update it with an asterisk that says “He sympathizes with fellow scumbags.”

In related news, as expected, Platner pulled the plug on his his campaign Wednesday.

In also related news, Trump’s lawyers continued to try to delay paying out $5 million plus interest to victim EJ Carrol, writing that “President Trump will be irreparably harmed absent a stay. Plaintiff seeks immediate disbursement of a multimillion-dollar judgment while Supreme Court rehearing remains pending. If the funds leave CRIS now, and the Supreme Court later grants rehearing and alters the posture of the case, President Trump is likely to never recover the funds. That risk is not speculative. Plaintiff has repeatedly stated publicly that she intends to give away money collected from President Trump,” and then citing an interview where Carroll said she intends to contribute “to something Trump hates.” This as though the Supreme Court didn’t already deny certiorari.

“Signs and Billboards are being put up all over our Southern Border, and Mexico, advertising BIRTHRIGHT CITIZENSHIP, with ‘Deliveries starting at $4000.’ Likewise, similar signs going up all over our Country. Billions of Dollars will be illegally made by this SCAM, with Citizenship going to anyone willing to pay. It will be, by far, the number one way of becoming a citizen, and then the entire family will be allowed to follow. Not sustainable. NOBODY SAW THIS COMING!!!”

“AMERICAN CITIZENSHIP IS NOT FOR SALE! In fact, that is a crime, and therefore, the Supreme Court’s ruling is wrong. I will be asking for a Rehearing by the United States Supreme Court, IMMEDIATELY. This miscarriage of justice will destroy America if they don’t change their absolutely insane decision,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday, and lol at “AMERICAN CITIZENSHIP IS NOT FOR SALE,” like he isn’t literally trying to fucking sell it for $5 million.

“At the direction of the Commander in Chief, US Central Command forces have started conducting additional strikes against Iran to further degrade their ability to threaten freedom of navigation in the Strait of Hormuz,” said CENTCOM in a statement on Wednesday, adding “The United States is holding Iran accountable for recent unjustified aggression against commercial shipping and civilian crews freely navigating a vital international waterway,” as though a politically-worded justification is necessary when it’s supposed to be a simple bulletin of military action against a hostile state.

Dem Maine State Representative Valli Geiger tells WMTW she’s spoken with soon-to-be-ex-US Senate nominee Graham Platner and that she is his pick to replace him on the ticket.

“He said ‘Valli you are a fighter, you have been with this movement since the beginning,'” Geiger said of her Monday night conversation with the doomed candidate. Geiger then pulled her endorsement the next day in an equivocal statement, saying “I will not throw Graham under the bus, but neither will I slander or accuse [Platner’s rape accuser] Ms Racicot of anything more than telling the truth as she experienced it. I acknowledge the pain on all sides and offer compassion on all sides. But there are no winners here, something profoundly hopeful has been lost.” Proooobably not enough here.

Asked by a reporter in Turkey for comment on convicted felon president Trump’s renewed imperial bloodlust for the vast Arctic icemass, NATO chief Mark Rutte on Wednesday took a surprisingly pro-MAGA approach, saying “When it comes to defense of the Arctic, he absolutely was right, because there is a huge risk that Russia and China will gain more and more access to the Arctic,” but otherwise stopped short of calling for a full US takeover of the autonomous Danish territory.

Dem Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear’s office on Monday announced they’ve “sent a letter to the office of US Sen Mitch McConnell requesting an update on his health and well-being amid growing concerns around the Senator’s ability to serve,” possibly heralding some sort of determination.

“Over the last several weeks, Kentuckians have grown increasingly concerned about the health and well-being of Sen McConnell. As Governor – and a fellow public official who understands the commitment we’ve made to the people we serve – I am requesting the Senator provide an update on his current health status. Allowing speculation to continue in the media is not fair to the Senator or to Kentuckians, and my hope is that this provides him the opportunity to share the information in a transparent manner, direct from the source. I wish him a safe and speedy recovery,” said Beshear.

“The request for an update comes after reports that Sen McConnell was admitted to hospital on June 14. Since then, limited information has been shared from the Senator’s official office. The Governor’s administration has seen a rise in inquiries about the health status of the Senator. Rather than contribute to the increased speculation unfolding in the media and public space, Gov Beshear is reaching out directly to Sen McConnell to make the request,” the statement continued.