Trump declines request from Republican House members for preemptive pardons over involvement in Capitol riot: report

“Several Republican lawmakers who are alleged to have been involved in the rally that preceded the deadly riot on the US Capitol have sought clemency from Trump before he leaves office, but after meeting with his legal advisers for several hours on Saturday, the President decided he would not grant them, according to two people familiar with his plans” CNN reports.

Random thoughts Friday, Volume VII

Biden planning big push to Make Amtrak Great Again

Texas electricity wholesaler effectively out of business as state revokes operating license after CEO fucks off from testimony

FBI says it has individual suspect in death of Capitol Police officer

MAGA bro Madison Cawthorn was really into sexually harassing women at his small Southern Evangelical college: report

Jim Jordan wrestles with an inability to conceive original thoughts

Watkins renounces Oath Keepers, appears ready to flip

400 prisoners escape, 25 dead in massive Haitian jailbreak

Man-Karen Federalist reporter melts down at Jim Acosta at CPAC, almost as if Acosta is somehow responsible for Trump losing

FDA advisory panel approves J&J single dose vaccine

Residents of Indian slum were unknowing vaccine test subjects

MAGA dipshit Congressmen signed letters saying they couldn’t be in House because of Coronavirus, even though they’re at CPAC

John Durham quits DOJ

Republican’s husband’s truck with 3% sticker at Capitol on Jan. 6th

California Highway Patrol impressed by mannequin some asshole used as a fake passenger so he could drive in the carpool lane

Biden won’t sanction MBS over Khashoggi murder

Member of party that once emancipated millions of brutally enslaved human beings jokes about Mr. Potato Head’s cock

DNI report confirms MBS had Khashoggi whacked

FBI looking into possible MAGA terrorist motive to Lady Gaga dog walker shooting as retaliation for Biden inauguration performance

Los Angeles-area bus company hits insurance jackpot as massive fire from neighboring property consumes at least ten vehicles

WNBA approves sale of Loeffler’s team whose players hate her

CPAC panel host says absentee voting is bad since abusive liberal families could withhold insulin to force diabetic seniors to vote Dem

Leader of Japanese cult devoted to Trump to speak at CPAC

Ted Cruz’s self-deprecating comedy bit sucks

Dipshit Texas Lt. Governor not very sympathetic to electricity ratepayers stuck with skyrocketing bills after power crisis

State and local Republicans work to rebuild MAGA Reich

Dems kicking GOP’s ass on social media reach

MAGA militia sticker-covered pickup truck owned by husband of Republican Congresswoman spotted in footage of January 6th

Federal judge in Texas rules eviction moratorium unconsitutional

“And they made an idol of gold, and wheeled it into CPAC…”

The Gateway Pundit’s frustration reaches new boiling point

Meadows: People named Trump will lead next administration

Schumer says stimulus package is a go

Mr. Potato Head sort of canceled by the Woke mob

Biden orders airstrike on Iranian-backed rebels in Syria

Moscow Mitch says he’ll support Trump if he’s the nominee in 2024

Federal prosecutors ramping up investigation into Congress members’ recon tour groups in the lead-up to Capitol riot

Twitter to introduce Super Follows, Community interest groups

Men’s Wearhouse founder advocates for raising minimum wage

Oreos were already on the MAGA boycott shit list, right? Or was that some other cookie brand? Can anyone help us keep track?

Biden speaks with Saudi King

On Day 36 of the Biden Administration, Republicans are aggrieved

John Thune unintentionally pushes for $24/hour minimum wage

House passes LBGTQ equality act

Former US Olympic coach commits suicide after indictments on 20 counts of human trafficking, criminal sexual assault

White House marks 50 million vaccination doses administered

DHS commits $77 million to fight domestic terrorism on local level

Republican asks for 30 seconds of dead air to honor Limbaugh

Capitol Police chief: Radicals targeting Biden address to Congress

Gaga’s pets dognapped, dog walker shot in Hollywood