Happy Trump Reinstatement Month!

August 2021 is finally here! That means former President Donald Trump is going to be reinstated! Yes, sometime this month Joe Biden will be removed from the White House and thrown in prison or exiled to Antarctica or given a nightly show on MSNBC or something and Trump will return to the presidency! We’re not sure what’ll happen to the Vice Presidency. Maybe Kamala Harris will stick around or John F Kennedy Jr will be installed as VP since Mike Pence definitely isn’t coming back.

Trump has never been known to be loose with appointed dates and times. Everything he said that he would make happen in two weeks and by April of 2020 definitely happened, so he should be absolutely ready to be reinstated by the military at any time before 11:59:59 pm on August 31st.

“Fuck you MAGA voters, I got mine”: Trump, basically

Supreme Court rejects Virginia Dems’ redistricting petition

Colorado Gov Jared “Pussy” Polis to free Tina Peters

Iranians finding other ways to screw with US gasoline supplies

Florida historic Black cemetery hit with Trump, DeSantis graffiti

Fox News reports Markwayne Mullin’s cosplay game lacking

Tennessee Dem Steve Cohen drops reelection bid

Hantavirus presser led by far right Alabaman penile implant expert

RNC sketches plausible ID scenario for “election integrity” case

Chris Wright fucks up and says “Gulf of Mexico” on CNBC

Regime moving to indict Raul Castro

House voting on war powers act: Watch Live

Retail sales up in April because shit costs more than it used to

Canadian man killed by bear at uranium mining site

Jaydee adresses room full of caucasians

Border Patrol chief abruptly quits

Vessel off UAE possibly seized by Iranians

Fanboy pleads with voters to “take their medicine” on gas prices

T1 Phone allegedly shipping to customers

Starmer Labour rival makes first move to challenge UK PM

Orange Chicken in China: Watch Live

WATCH LIVE: Jaydee lies to reporters

Rand Paul’s son drunkenly accuses Mike Lawler of being Jewish

Alex Murdaugh’s convictions overturned

WATCH LIVE: Jesus Dork and pals hold presser

Tennessee House Speaker removes Dems from every committee

When Fox News is forced to acknowledge grocery prices…

John Solomon threatens Americans with a good time in 2029

Nebraska primary: Dem sandbagger defeats MAGA sandbagger

WATCH LIVE: Orange Slob high-tails it to China

DCCC not letting up on Jen Kiggans for “cotton-picking” comment

Your tax dollars paid for this butthurt reply

Cory Mills probe heats up

Jaydee headed to Maine amid concerns for Concern Lady

WATCH LIVE: Nope, sorry, he’s still alive

Alaska landslide could’ve made hantavirus cruise look pleasant

Republican operative “can’t with a straight face come up with anything better” than simply saying gas price spike is temporary

Gateway Pundit reports sagging global economy hurts China too

Dem turnout in Indianapolis primary exploded vs 2018 and 2022

Philippines Vice President Sara Duterte impeached

Fox News reports America voted against this in 2024

Disrespectful Iranian punks just letting the calls go to voicemail

Regime to release 70 hours of Biden convos with ghostwriter

Energy Suckretary made to walk back previous cheap gas call

Iowans attending Jaydee rally were paid $100 each

Tyler Robinson trial to be televised

WATCH LIVE: Orange Corpse makes everyone feel worse

Virginia Supreme Court overturns redistricting referendum

Regime releases 162 boring UFO files

John Solomon reports K$H just swinging for the fences now