Capitol rioter Brandon Fellows, charged with felony obstruction of an official proceeding for entering the Capitol on January 6th and smoking weed in Oregon Dem Senator Jeff Merkley’s office, held since June after calling his probation officer’s mother and missing a mental health evaluation and putting a federal judge’s wife’s office as his own phone number on an official form, found himself charged with obstruction of justice and perjury after attempting to contact the presiding judge in his case’s family to try to get him removed from the case, WUSA reports.

“When I’m worried, I don’t make the most understandable decisions” Fellows told DC circuit court Judge Trevor McFadden during the two hour hearing when asked why he thought that was a good idea and why he was still representing himself after he was repeatedly warned not to.

Sincere props to WUSA staff writers Jordan Fischer, Eric Flack, and Stephanie Wilson for being able to put that article together. The story is such a maze of batshittery that was some serious freaking solid news writing for them to be able to distill it the way they did. A sentence like “Over the course of the nearly 2-hour hearing, Fellows rambled across a difficult-to-follow litany of complaints about his incarceration, stopping to touch on subjects as widely varied as the Taliban, Guantanamo Bay, a woman who’d left her child in a dumpster and a ‘constitutional lawyer’ who had allegedly advised him to wrap his cell phone in tin foil to avoid capture” doesn’t just write itself.