Categories
Uncategorized

Conservative clickbait, annotated

The reader is introduced to the site ConservativeBrief.com when a former bit player, a guy most famous for being a convicted federal felon and now desperate for relevance, tweets with inane clickbait headline because that’s what they paid him (and other nobodies) to do.

The intended audience says to themselves “HOLY SHIT! THEY FOUND VOTIN FRAUD IN PENNSTILLVANIA! THAT PATRIOT GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS SAY THEY FOUND IT! HOT DAMN!”

Then the page loads and – for readers possessing any shred of intelligence at least – the disappointment sinks in within 10 to 15 seconds of the article’s text rendering on the screen:

Some in the media like to pretend that voter fraud is a hoax and never happens, [no shit it fucking happens] but a new report shows that a staffer of a Philadelphia politician had been engaging in voter fraud since 2015.

Acting U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District of Pennsylvania, Jennifer Arbittier Williams, filed federal charges against Marie Beren, 67, that alleged she had participated in a voting scheme from 2015 – 2019 [So it ended long before the 2020 election and has absolutely nothing to do with Biden winning] in three South Philadelphia voting divisions, Philadelphia Magazine reported. Beren, who is a staffer for Philadelphia City Councilmember Mark Squilla, was charged with four counts of voter fraud and related offenses, including conspiracy.

The prosecutors charged that Beren was involved in a conspiracy with an individual only identified as Consultant #1, who is said to be a former elected official who “held himself out as an effective and successful political operative capable of ensuring his clients’ electoral success.”

That consultant, who Philadelphia Magazine is believedto be former Democrat United States Rep. Ozzie Myers, [Ozzie Myers was expelled from Congress over his involvement in the Abscam Scandal when fucking Jimmy Carter was still in office] ‘exercised influence and control in Philadelphia’s 39th Ward by distributing cash payments and supporting family, friends, and allies for elective office in the 39th Ward, and installing Ward Leaders, Judges of Elections, and Democratic State Committee,’ [Zero mention of Dominion, Chinese thermostats, Italian satellites, Venezuelan supercomputers] it said.

The rest of this article is just a verbatim clip from Philadelphia Magazine explaining the rest of the indictment. There is nothing of rhetorical value for MAGA partisans here beyond some lame “Well it shows Philadelphia is corrupt at elections” bullshit, omitting the fact that these were all localized dogshit intra-Democratic Party scams and that the scoreboard for Pennsylvanians charged with voter fraud in the 2020 election still remains Republicans 3, Democrats 0.

Fun fact: If you click on the article from George Papadopoulos’s tweet, there’s a parameter at the end “?utm_source=CB&utm_medium=539” and that “539” is probably his internal code to track how many clicks he got so they can pay him 75 cents or whatever each.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

MAGA New York gubernatorial candidate and Nassau County Exec Bruce Blakeman is weak on border security and fighting socialism

3 hours ago

Hawaii’s Big Island under hurricane warning

14 hours ago

Deranged old loser mad GOP couldn’t find another “Mary Peltola”

1 day ago

WATCH LIVE: Fat Hitler traps Long Island police cadets

1 day ago

Consumer sentiment takes a beating again

1 day ago

Witch-haired freak dismisses suffering of civilians, military alike

1 day ago

Luigi-a-pleads-a-guilty-to-a-murda!

1 day ago

Box-o-Wine announces arrest in WWII monument vandalism

1 day ago

Orange Pharaoh rages after national WWII monument vandalized

1 day ago

US retail sales plummeted in July

1 day ago

Netanyahu thirsty for Trump endorsement

2 days ago

Man in robot alien trash can costume sort of concedes to Nazi

2 days ago

Brown 53 – Husted 45 in Ohio: Fox News poll

2 days ago

Internet more fragile than previously thought

2 days ago

Iran targeting Republican vote supply: Fox and Friends

3 days ago

Rat flees sinking ship: Karoline quits White House

3 days ago

Fuhrerbunker rant decidedly more unhinged than previous one

3 days ago

Maryland kids exposed to rabies after playing with sickened bat

3 days ago

Fox News still has yet to report she lost

4 days ago

ICE buying electrified gloves to zap victims on demand

4 days ago

Please remember this meaningless bullshit in November

4 days ago

RNC finds roles for those too violent, unstable for ICE employment

4 days ago

Team Orange batting the subpoena hatches down hard

4 days ago

TMTG posts negative $238 million earnings in Q2 2026

5 days ago

Cowardly bitch-ass president flew out of Turkey on decoy plane

5 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Trump uncures childhood diseases

5 days ago

Orange God Emperor demands Iran pay him reparations

5 days ago

Colombia hit with 7.4-magnitude earthquake, killing at least 20

5 days ago

Fox couchman almost mad at reporter for bringing the bad news

6 days ago

Hormuz never returning to pre-war condition: Iranian MP

6 days ago

“Black and Brown Voters” expert shares inside analysis on demo

6 days ago

Max Miller stuck on the ballot

6 days ago

Netanyahu says “no, fuck no” to Trump’s Hamas “peace plan”

6 days ago

Fox News reports WNBA controversy consuming Fox News

7 days ago

“Man, he’s destroying families”: Trump fanboy with fiancee in gulag

1 week ago

Strait closed until Orange Ayatollah agrees to demands: Iranians

1 week ago

Judge orders MAGA Virginians to re-rename Confederate schools

1 week ago

WATCH LIVE: Robber Barons praise their Orange Cash Cow

1 week ago

Princess Donald cries over his magical ballroom’s disappearance

1 week ago

Bitch Cassidy and the Sunsetting Career

1 week ago

White House economic wiener retcons July jobs report

1 week ago

July jobs report smashes expectations

1 week ago

Murkowski a no on Todd Blanche

1 week ago

Orange Fuhrer refuses to endorse John Thune for Senate leader

1 week ago

Andy Ogles loses primary

1 week ago

Jon Husted’s wife or someone finally told him to man the fuck up

1 week ago

Fat president still screaming about “fake news” and shit

1 week ago

“How to Lose Friends and Antagonize Presidents” by Thom Tillis

1 week ago

Beaver attacks prompt closure of Maryland state park waterways

1 week ago

Bunnygate scandal continues to engulf Miller campaign

1 week ago

x
x
x
x
x
x