A Barnes and Noble location on Long Island, NY is selling a book that is very offensive to me. I hate right wing media personality Ben Shapiro’s rodent-like face and squeaky voice, not to mention his apparent desire for a breakup of the United States, so this book should not be sold here. The book is polluting the minds of children-like adults who deal in simplistic binaries by making them hate their fellow Americans. Overpriced, non-woke propaganda whose sales end up lining the pockets of a creepy, diminutive weirdo obsessed with a lewd rap song called “WAP” has no place in the place where I buy picture books and Hot Wheels Monster Trucks for my son.

The things I like about Barnes and Noble do not outweigh this part that I don’t like, so therefore they must be canceled. We will hire James O’Keefe to apply for a job at Barnes and Noble, wear a hidden camera, and then ask an assistant manager why they sell Ben Shapiro’s books here. If that doesn’t work then we’re going to leave bad reviews on Yelp. Then if the Yelp reviews don’t work we’ll stand outside and scream at people for shopping here. Then we’ll find out where the CEO lives and protest outside his house. Finally, whether or not any of that works, we’ll start a “STOP B&N PAC” and raise millions of dollars in our campaign to cancel them completely for selling books written by cartoonish right wing midgets. And then after nothing happens you’ll never hear about it again, because we’ll start complaining that the Quaker guy on the Quaker Oats oatmeal package is religious discrimination against non-Quakers. What the fuck is the deal with guy that anyway?