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Reviewing the reviews of the Trump Store in Pigeon Forge, TN


The Google Maps reviews of the Trump Store in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee reveal an interesting vortex of half-truths and trolling from libs in the one star ratings, disingenuous homerism from Trump fanboys who have never shopped there in the five star ratings, and a disconcerting number of quite likely sincere complaints of poor service and exorbitant prices on from the actual MAGA customer base in the middle delta of one-to-three star reviews of the right wing memorabilia shop.

“Nobody grabbed me by the pu$$y. Very disappointing. Inauthentic experience. Not even worth one star. No klan hoods left in my size. How can they not keep the true look of a Trump supporter fully in stock?” said a one-star reviewer who had obviously never visited, timestamped “3 months ago”. “Awesome Store! Very nice workers and lots of merchandise. Stickers, Shirts, Flags, Etc. Will definitely come here again” wrote a five star reviewer with a “TRUMP” avatar. Neither of these reviews appear to be from customers who had ever set foot within the store

A pattern emerges however when reviewers get into the specifics of their experience in buying their MAGA memorabilia at the Trump Store. “They charge tax ONLY if you use a card. Guy at the counter sounded drunk when he talked. Picked on me loudly for using a card and accused me of being a Biden supporter. Kept yelling across the store at people. Nothing was priced. Great idea for a store, good money maker but the people running it are trashy,” said a one-star reviewer.

Another disappointed Trump enthusiast wrote “Like what the store sells but everything is wayyyy over priced. Would of [sic] purchased a he’ll [sic] of a lot more but when u [sic] charge $15.00 for a shot glass that costs $1.99 that’s Crazy ? nothing marked in store as far as prices, the shocker is when u [sic] check out! Ask 4 [sic] the price 1st, u [sic] will run. Owners seemed like I bothered him at check out while he was eating his burger ? If prices were lower like they should be, I would of [sic] spent around $100.00 easy, early Christmas gifts ?” in a one-star review.

A two-star reviewer liked the concept overall, but complained also of poor customer service selection in MAGA apparel for non-obese buyers. “The store is ok. The lady behind the counter was a snot. That is ok, my wife played the game back. Mostly big people sizes. If you are a 2xl to a 5xl, you’ll find plenty. A few things in normal sizes. Plenty of sizes for me at 2xl. Not so much for my wife and kids. We bought a couple things bc the kids wanted them. Wouldn’t have otherwise simply bc [sic] of her attitude,” wrote the man who may or may not be honest that he wears a 2XL.

It’s certainly possible that the negative reviews are elaborate leftist propaganda, as any fabulist who wishes to be successful in harming the Trump Store’s reputation and thus revenue would start with a feigned affinity for MAGA fandom and then launch into a specific and detailed complaint rather than simply trolling and bitching about cat piss and klan hoods. However, more than a few of even the four and five star reviews hint at dissatisfaction with the customer service, pricing, and quality of the merchandise, as if to say “We know we’re getting fucked, but we love Trump so much we’re willing to get ripped off to own the libs.” Almost like it’s a microcosm for something.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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