A state of deep unease settled in across the Villages, Florida following the mysterious fire which incinerated a golf cart parked outside of the Chula Vista Recreation Center on Thursday. The main source of the disquiet stemmed from the fact that the cart’s make, model, and even whether it was a gasoline or electric engine, was completely unknown to media sources. Though no one was hurt, the lack of information about what carts of a similar model could be potentially dangerous. Maybe next time one could explode spontaneously while a Villager is driving home after enjoying a few well-deserved afternoon scotches down at Margarita Republic. Or explode not so spontaneously when they pass out behind the wheel and crash the cart into a gas pump at the Exxon station.
Then there’s possibility of arson caused by a hidden cell of Antifa terrorists conducting hit and run attacks against people who worked for a living all their goddamned lives only to have some fucking leftist punks destroy it simply to please their evil master Nancy Pelosi. Or much more likely it was their 52 year old son or daughter who came to live with them in the Villages who torched the cart as phase one of their operation to steal the insurance check to buy heroin. But they prefer to talk about their other kids – and their grandchildren who are in college and not jail.