Well actually it was just okay… What would’ve worked better is if Ron Watkins had said “Hello Arizona, my name is Ron Watkins and I’m running to represent you in Congress. It’s truly an honor to be here before you today to tell you my story. There’s not much to it really, I’m an Army brat who moved around a lot as a kid, my parents divorced when I was a teenager, and my dad’s a businessman who started a porn site designed specifically to help Japanese users circumvent that country’s censorship laws which prohibit the display of vaginas. I moved to the Philippines to work for my old man and learn the ropes of cutting-edge vagina-display internet technologies. From there he and I expanded this business into hosting for other porn sites, anime sites, and anime porn sites. Through that we came across a misguided but ultimately good natured teenager with a severe disability and conned him into giving us control of 8chan, the forum site he founded.”

“When some South African asshole on 8chan decided to start acting like he was a secret government agent with inside knowledge of a hidden war President Donald Trump was waging against a cabal of satanic pedophiles and was gaining a lot of followers with it, I stole that guy’s account from him and took over pretending to be what you now know as ‘QAnon’. From there my shitposting inspired millions to join an apocalyptic cult for which many violent acts, including a toddler and an infant killed by their own father with a spearfishing gun, have been at least partially attributed to. Two members of Congress from Georgia and Arizona openly subscribe to the belief system for which I am the genesis, with dozens more also giving it credence with varying degrees of subtlety, all of them sent to DC by MAGA voters just like you. So why the fuck wouldn’t you want the genuine article, people?!? I’M RIGHT FUCKING HERE, Q IN THE FLESH BROS! VOTE WATKINS!”