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House Intel Committee to hold public hearing on UFOs

Next week, for the first time in over half a century, members of Congress will hold a televised hearing on the subject of UFOs, with Defense Department officials testifying on all those weather balloons reflecting the light of Venus that make 90 degree turns at 4,000 mph and swarms of swamp gas that show up on military radar, the New York Times reports.

“Since this is an area of high public interest, any undue secrecy can serve as an obstacle to solving the mystery, or it could prevent us from finding solutions to potential vulnerabilities,” said Indiana Dem Congressman André Carson, a total dweeb who definitely believes in “flying saucers” flown by little purple spacemen, adding “This hearing is about examining steps that the Pentagon can take to reduce the stigma surrounding reporting by military pilots, and by civilian pilots.”

No word yet on if the hearing will be followed by a Congressional investigation into ghosts, vampires, the tooth fairy, and if there are pipes under New York City that lead to the mushroom kingdom but anyway this is all sarcasm because the people who refuse to entertain the possibility of covert extraterrestrial observation of Earth sound just as ridiculous, sometimes even worse than the freaks who believe the British royal family and other leaders are secretly alien reptiles.

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