This is it! The government is finally going to tell the public everything about UFOs! It won’t be boring at all! History will be made today, people! Get your fucking popcorn ready, this is the big show! We’re talking footage of alien abductions, detailed descriptions of recovered extraterrestrial spacecraft, even the secrets of Area 51 finally being revealed! It definitely won’t be any boring, overly technical descriptions of sightings of blurry, distant orbs and inconclusive findings made by military researchers. We’ve had enough of that. Seriously. It better be good or otherwise American taxpayers might be pretty disappointed. Could even result in a negative review on Yelp.