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Random thoughts Friday, Volume LXXIII

  • Republicans want Americans to believe Democrats are unpatriotic because Dems are trying to hold the mob who wanted to hang Republican Vice President Mike Pence accountable under the law.  
  • The January 6th Committee hearing wasn’t a reality show.  It wasn’t a UFC fight.  It wasn’t a soap opera.  No one won $1 million.  That’s why many Americans won’t watch.  It’s actual news.  It’s not escapism.  It’s real life. 
  • Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity each broadcast a full hour with no commercials on Thursday because they could not allow a single viewer to flip channels during breaks because they know their audience would never flip back.
  • Jared Kushner took the number of times White House Counsel Pat Cipollone and his lawyers threatened to quit as whining.  I take it as a sign of how completely felonious the Trump White House was.  
  • Biggest revelation of the hearing:  Mike Pence–the man who perpetually moves like he’s a wind-up doll on his last two ticks–got “animated” when talking with the Joint Chiefs Chair.  
  • Gatorade makes an organic variety.  The creator of a fluorescent green drink makes an organic variety. 
  • What’s the benefit of having a celebrity say things from the White House press room?  It enrages conservatives, who will whine about it on-air and across social media, making a WHOLE lot of non-politically-involved people want to see, say, Matthew McConaughey because he’s an Oscar-winning Sexiest Man Alive… and maybe they’ll just hear his message.
  • I have a great deal of respect for good police officers.  The cops at the Capitol on January 6th are the breed of officers we need to nurture.  Instead of hiring cops just because they know how to use guns, start making using a gun a tertiary part of the job.
  • Rachel Maddow and John Oliver have a similar presentation style, which I find very effective:  storytelling, backstory/history, personal story, and advocacy.  Conservatives don’t do that:  for them, it’s enough to demand their viewers take what they say as gospel without any support.
  • Saudi Arabia is the guy who thinks he’s popular, but people only talk to him at the bar because he’s so rich he always picks up the drinks.  
  • I put things I’ve already done on my To-Do list just to have the satisfaction of checking them off as completed. 
  • Charlie Kirk hosted the Turning Point USA “Cuteservatives” Young Women’s Leadership Conference simply to get him and his friends laid.  Tell me I’m wrong.
  • The creepiest Star Trek episode:  the one with the pancakes stuck to the walls.  There are scarier, eerier episodes, but for some reason, the sticky pancakes wig me out.
  • Proposal:  If a publicly-traded company reports a profit while still getting subsidies from the government, those subsidies must be repaid before a cent of the dividend is distributed.
  • Mrs. Jack ordered something called a “vegan cheesesteak” which completely cannot be.
  • The “popping grape” sound effect in the very first scene of the British show “No Offence” is the best use of foley skills for comedic effect in television history.  (Clue:  there is a bus involved.)
  • Just learned that the opening line of The Smith’s 1985 song, “How Soon is Now,” perhaps best known as the theme song to the original TV series “Charmed,” is “I am the son and the heir,” which for years I’ve thought was “I am the sun and the air,” because y’know, Morrissey.  I’ve been singing it wrong all these years and nobody corrected me.
  • I used to think the stupidest person in the Trump cabal–other than the entire Trump family–was Mike Lindell.  Now I believe he lost that crown to Peter Navarro, who seems to incriminate himself every time he opens his yapper.  Kimberly Guilfoyle may be the smartest, particularly if she marries Junior before he gets sent to jail.
  • Don’t congratulate them for doing the right thing:  telling the truth.  They’re doing it to save their own hides, not because it’s the right thing to do.

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