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FBI serves subpoenas to fake Trump electors, campaign official

The FBI conducted “court authorized law enforcement activity Wednesday morning” at the homes of fake Trump 2020 Georgia elector Brad Carver, Trump 2020 campaign official Thomas Lane in Virginia, and at least several of the fake Michigan Trump 2020 electors, per the Washington Post.

This has to be genuinely terrifying to these assholes. Like it’s one thing to be all “they always get away with it, nothing’s gonna happen”-type gloomy liberal, but see it from their side: Federal law enforcement just banged on the door and said “We know where you live motherfucker. Show up at this address with these documents at the appointed date or you’re going to go live with the big boys and have to shower naked with them every day for a long time. Longer than you’re used to. You might end up there anyway, that’s for the court to decide. Bring some really expensive douchebag lawyer if you want. Not our problem if you have to give up the country club or your kids have to go to community college so you can afford him,” and then left to go get tacos for lunch.

The Trump minions probably then felt really nervous and shaky when trying to text their MAGA buddies to panic about it. Their mouths definitely dried up too as they stammered thinking about what went wrong and what the feds know. The FBI agents meanwhile were a few miles away, arguing with each other over whether Cholula or Tapatío was the superior hot sauce as they looked over the menu at a Tex Mex joint. We could probably keep going with this if we wanted.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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