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Random Headlines Thursday, Volume Zero

This is a one-off. For now. National Zero is backlogged as fuck and rather than triage coverage let’s just do it with an homage to my friend and mentor’s traditional weekly roundup. Except this is all news that would’ve otherwise been published as individual articles rather than thoughts. Well maybe some “thoughts”, but whatever. It’s still different. Especially the NZ logo bullet points.

Wednesday’s “Order 66” sweep by the FBI snagged yet another MAGA scumbag: Arizona GOP Chairwoman “Chemtrails Kelli” Ward and her husband whose name isn’t important because fuck him. Both were served subpoenas for their involvement in the fake electors scam.

Mo Brooks wants to talk to the January 6th Committee, with strings attached that it be in public, only House members question him (as opposed to staff lawyers or investigators), and strictly about January 6th itself. Weird how he just suddenly decided to cooperate this week, like something changed his mind. Wonder what could’ve happened to Mo to precipitate such a switch.

Kind of forgot that Trump minions still have active litigation against the select committee and companies that have complied with subpoenas. Well now there’s one less, as Trump spokesworm Taylor Budowich’s complaint against the Committee and Chase for handing over his bank records was tossed Thursday. Sucks for him. Maybe he should stop being such a Budo-bitch.

Pennsylvania MAGA Congressman Mike Kelly publicly denied RonAnon’s attempt to blame him for the fake electoral votes clusterfuck Johnson’s been snagged in since Tuesday’s reveal. “Senator [Ron] Johnson’s statements about Representative Kelly are patently false. Mr. Kelly has not spoken to Sen. Johnson for the better part of a decade, and he has no knowledge of the claims Mr. Johnson is making related to the 2020 election,” said Kelly in a statement. That’s not really something a person used to saying “Deal with it libtards” would say. Kelly – who was knee deep in the “Stop the Steal” shit and was listed as the lead plaintiff on the first big MAGA election lawsuit the Supreme Court spiked in December 2020 – is probably looking at what happened Wednesday to pajama boy Jeff Clark and the rest of them and decided that maybe Merrick Garland isn’t fucking around. Or Kelly got served with a subpoena himself. Remember, the DOJ didn’t actually announce any of yesterday’s “Order 66”, which is why it all got reported piecemeal by various outlets. ABC’s source for the raid on Clark was his friggin neighbor. Who knows who else got swept up?

Madison.com reports a Trump Campaign lawyer coordinated with RonAnon to deliver the fake electoral votes to Pence in the middle of the joint session on January 6th and Jesus Christ maybe Johnson should’ve just shut his fucking mouth and waited a few days before he started telling stories that were debunked. You don’t need to be Dave Wasserman or Steve Kornacki to understand this is not where you want to be with abysmal approval ratings in a tough election year.

Georgia Governor Brian Kemp’s going to testify to the Fulton County DA’s grand jury. Kemp probably isn’t going to talk to them about the Obi-Wan season finale.

This has been probably the busiest week for National Zero since the week of the Capitol riot itself. No joke. Difference is now we both compose articles from scratch instead of copying and pasting everything back then like Political Wire and JoeMyGod do (much respect for those two no matter what). Really could use just maybe a day when an “article” like this was good at the top for the better part of an hour. Three straight days of near non-stop National Zero-ing.

Oh and we’ve got and the you know what from the Supreme Court to “look forward to” tomorrow.

PS Saturday is NatZeromas, the celebration of our second birthday and the publication of our first article. Friday is NatZeromas Eve, the day the domain was registered and the Disqus feed went live. Which means Thursday is NatZeroFestivus. So air your grievances.

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Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump

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Texas court lets Kraken swim free from Bar misconduct charges

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Jury selected for Trump trial

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Nevada Supreme Court greenlights abortion ballot measure

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Federal judge spikes Trump bid to delay January 6 lawsuits

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Like they needed a reason

4 hours ago

Biden pushing for actual Middle East peace deal

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Kremlin asset complains about Ukraine aid from courthouse

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Most of the Kennedy family officially endorse Biden for president

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Charlie Kirk pal/Arizona state lawmaker caught forging petition

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Matt Gaetz sounds open to another three-week vacation

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Merchan adds latest Trump jury tampering post to contempt inbox

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Former Wisconsin Dem Congressman running again in WI-01

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Biden actually doing quite alright with young voters

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Just 14 cases of “possible” voter fraud in Nevada since 2020

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Mike Gallagher says swatting, death threats prompted him to quit

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Stormy walked all over Trump’s subpoena in heels

19 hours ago

British slowly working to ban cigarette smoking

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The Space Laser Lady is at it again

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RNC chair/in-law/pop singer defends benefactor

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Performance artist amends Ukraine aid bill to mandate war service

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A thoroughly fuck-up modern day murder game

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Fox’s Trump as Christ imagery: “We’re seeing a living martyr”

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Mike Johnson’s faith in the Orange Savior remains unshaken

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Team Orange demands 5 percent tithe from all down-ballot campaigns using the immaculate visage of their Holy Antichrist

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MAYORKAS TOTALLY EXONERATED ON IMPEACHMENT HOAX

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Biden campaign energized by Charlie Kirk’s impotent moping

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Arizona Republicans again block abortion law repeal

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QAdulteress herself hasn’t reacted yet, still waiting

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We think Trump is trying to psyche Biden into firing Jack Smith

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National Guard leaders say Haley dropped the ball on January 6th

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Pennsylvania Taco Bell manager stages pro-life demonstration

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Lot of work done to get to sort of objectively true statement

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Michigan Dems win Tuesday specials, regain full trifecta

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Orange Defendant finds out he already wasted all of his juror vetoes

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“Patriot Legal Defense Fund” set up to pay for Trump minions’ legal bills ended up spending almost solely on Trump Org’s compliances

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Biden lands big check from son of Republican megadonor

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Sabato’s Crystal Ball shifts Arizona Senate race to “Lean Dem”

2 days ago

Fox News reports woman upset you think this is funny

2 days ago

Senate GOP already bungling Mayorkas impeachment strategy

2 days ago

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