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Random Headlines Thursday, Volume Zero

This is a one-off. For now. National Zero is backlogged as fuck and rather than triage coverage let’s just do it with an homage to my friend and mentor’s traditional weekly roundup. Except this is all news that would’ve otherwise been published as individual articles rather than thoughts. Well maybe some “thoughts”, but whatever. It’s still different. Especially the NZ logo bullet points.

Wednesday’s “Order 66” sweep by the FBI snagged yet another MAGA scumbag: Arizona GOP Chairwoman “Chemtrails Kelli” Ward and her husband whose name isn’t important because fuck him. Both were served subpoenas for their involvement in the fake electors scam.

Mo Brooks wants to talk to the January 6th Committee, with strings attached that it be in public, only House members question him (as opposed to staff lawyers or investigators), and strictly about January 6th itself. Weird how he just suddenly decided to cooperate this week, like something changed his mind. Wonder what could’ve happened to Mo to precipitate such a switch.

Kind of forgot that Trump minions still have active litigation against the select committee and companies that have complied with subpoenas. Well now there’s one less, as Trump spokesworm Taylor Budowich’s complaint against the Committee and Chase for handing over his bank records was tossed Thursday. Sucks for him. Maybe he should stop being such a Budo-bitch.

Pennsylvania MAGA Congressman Mike Kelly publicly denied RonAnon’s attempt to blame him for the fake electoral votes clusterfuck Johnson’s been snagged in since Tuesday’s reveal. “Senator [Ron] Johnson’s statements about Representative Kelly are patently false. Mr. Kelly has not spoken to Sen. Johnson for the better part of a decade, and he has no knowledge of the claims Mr. Johnson is making related to the 2020 election,” said Kelly in a statement. That’s not really something a person used to saying “Deal with it libtards” would say. Kelly – who was knee deep in the “Stop the Steal” shit and was listed as the lead plaintiff on the first big MAGA election lawsuit the Supreme Court spiked in December 2020 – is probably looking at what happened Wednesday to pajama boy Jeff Clark and the rest of them and decided that maybe Merrick Garland isn’t fucking around. Or Kelly got served with a subpoena himself. Remember, the DOJ didn’t actually announce any of yesterday’s “Order 66”, which is why it all got reported piecemeal by various outlets. ABC’s source for the raid on Clark was his friggin neighbor. Who knows who else got swept up?

Madison.com reports a Trump Campaign lawyer coordinated with RonAnon to deliver the fake electoral votes to Pence in the middle of the joint session on January 6th and Jesus Christ maybe Johnson should’ve just shut his fucking mouth and waited a few days before he started telling stories that were debunked. You don’t need to be Dave Wasserman or Steve Kornacki to understand this is not where you want to be with abysmal approval ratings in a tough election year.

Georgia Governor Brian Kemp’s going to testify to the Fulton County DA’s grand jury. Kemp probably isn’t going to talk to them about the Obi-Wan season finale.

This has been probably the busiest week for National Zero since the week of the Capitol riot itself. No joke. Difference is now we both compose articles from scratch instead of copying and pasting everything back then like Political Wire and JoeMyGod do (much respect for those two no matter what). Really could use just maybe a day when an “article” like this was good at the top for the better part of an hour. Three straight days of near non-stop National Zero-ing.

Oh and we’ve got and the you know what from the Supreme Court to “look forward to” tomorrow.

PS Saturday is NatZeromas, the celebration of our second birthday and the publication of our first article. Friday is NatZeromas Eve, the day the domain was registered and the Disqus feed went live. Which means Thursday is NatZeroFestivus. So air your grievances.

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Orange God Emperor threatens to shut off all international trade

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Gateway Pundit sounds the alarm on foreign propaganda bots

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Missouri state Supreme Court tosses 2026 gerrymander

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Crazy Maria fired for telling Trump that the Murdochs had banned coverage of his batshit election denying speech: Status News

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Maria Bartiromo with Fox News no-mo

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Comer too stupid to be trolling here

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Apple Maps renames Lake Ontario before Trump minions do

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Orange Fuhrer says Iran will be so defeated this time

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Senescent old men talk about what’s wrong with Hollywood

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Army Secretary Dan Driscoll quits

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WATCH LIVE: Maybe he dies on camera finally

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Great Leader promises state crackdown on subversive polling

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Milo Yiannopoulos already deported to UK

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Loomer takes credit for Milo Yiannopoulos’s ICE arrest

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Astronauts wait awkwardly for inconsiderate orange asshole: Live

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President announces sweeping new policy gesture to help famers

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Officials fear secondary Himalayan flash flood

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North Carolina “election integrity” bullshit iced over GOP failures

2 weeks ago

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