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Random Headlines Thursday, Volume Zero

This is a one-off. For now. National Zero is backlogged as fuck and rather than triage coverage let’s just do it with an homage to my friend and mentor’s traditional weekly roundup. Except this is all news that would’ve otherwise been published as individual articles rather than thoughts. Well maybe some “thoughts”, but whatever. It’s still different. Especially the NZ logo bullet points.

Wednesday’s “Order 66” sweep by the FBI snagged yet another MAGA scumbag: Arizona GOP Chairwoman “Chemtrails Kelli” Ward and her husband whose name isn’t important because fuck him. Both were served subpoenas for their involvement in the fake electors scam.

Mo Brooks wants to talk to the January 6th Committee, with strings attached that it be in public, only House members question him (as opposed to staff lawyers or investigators), and strictly about January 6th itself. Weird how he just suddenly decided to cooperate this week, like something changed his mind. Wonder what could’ve happened to Mo to precipitate such a switch.

Kind of forgot that Trump minions still have active litigation against the select committee and companies that have complied with subpoenas. Well now there’s one less, as Trump spokesworm Taylor Budowich’s complaint against the Committee and Chase for handing over his bank records was tossed Thursday. Sucks for him. Maybe he should stop being such a Budo-bitch.

Pennsylvania MAGA Congressman Mike Kelly publicly denied RonAnon’s attempt to blame him for the fake electoral votes clusterfuck Johnson’s been snagged in since Tuesday’s reveal. “Senator [Ron] Johnson’s statements about Representative Kelly are patently false. Mr. Kelly has not spoken to Sen. Johnson for the better part of a decade, and he has no knowledge of the claims Mr. Johnson is making related to the 2020 election,” said Kelly in a statement. That’s not really something a person used to saying “Deal with it libtards” would say. Kelly – who was knee deep in the “Stop the Steal” shit and was listed as the lead plaintiff on the first big MAGA election lawsuit the Supreme Court spiked in December 2020 – is probably looking at what happened Wednesday to pajama boy Jeff Clark and the rest of them and decided that maybe Merrick Garland isn’t fucking around. Or Kelly got served with a subpoena himself. Remember, the DOJ didn’t actually announce any of yesterday’s “Order 66”, which is why it all got reported piecemeal by various outlets. ABC’s source for the raid on Clark was his friggin neighbor. Who knows who else got swept up?

Madison.com reports a Trump Campaign lawyer coordinated with RonAnon to deliver the fake electoral votes to Pence in the middle of the joint session on January 6th and Jesus Christ maybe Johnson should’ve just shut his fucking mouth and waited a few days before he started telling stories that were debunked. You don’t need to be Dave Wasserman or Steve Kornacki to understand this is not where you want to be with abysmal approval ratings in a tough election year.

Georgia Governor Brian Kemp’s going to testify to the Fulton County DA’s grand jury. Kemp probably isn’t going to talk to them about the Obi-Wan season finale.

This has been probably the busiest week for National Zero since the week of the Capitol riot itself. No joke. Difference is now we both compose articles from scratch instead of copying and pasting everything back then like Political Wire and JoeMyGod do (much respect for those two no matter what). Really could use just maybe a day when an “article” like this was good at the top for the better part of an hour. Three straight days of near non-stop National Zero-ing.

Oh and we’ve got and the you know what from the Supreme Court to “look forward to” tomorrow.

PS Saturday is NatZeromas, the celebration of our second birthday and the publication of our first article. Friday is NatZeromas Eve, the day the domain was registered and the Disqus feed went live. Which means Thursday is NatZeroFestivus. So air your grievances.

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FBI seized John Eastman’s phone last Wednesday

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Lousy driver testifies against unethical, helicoptery mom

35 mins ago

Rudy’s would-be assassin released from jail, charges downgraded

2 hours ago

Attorneys General from 22 states vow to maintain abortion rights

2 hours ago

MAGA Colorado county clerk Tina Peters tells New York Times Lauren Boebert encouraged her to tamper with election equipment

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Louisiana judge issues stay blocking state’s abortion ban

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Macron tells Biden he spoke with UAE minister who claims UAE, Saudi Arabia at near maximum oil production capacity

4 hours ago

Capitol riot committee sets surprise Tuesday hearing

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Man shoots two people, killing one, at Subway store because gun fire was his way of complaining about too much mayo on footlong

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Ginni’s husband wants to revisit libel laws

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Supreme Court rules in favor of educator-led prayers in public schools in case about fired football coach

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Zelensky says a thousand trapped in mall hit by Russian missile

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Russia mobilizes massive military asset to front lines of Ukraine

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Dems 48 – GOP 41 on generic ballot: NPR/PBS/Marist poll

8 hours ago

SDNY grand jury investigating Trump stock scam company

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Surprise! “Second Amendment sanctuary” sheriffs seizing guns

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Video emerges of violent slap attack on Rudy

20 hours ago

Lara Trump unwittingly announces she’s pro-choice, but I don’t think she actually understands that’s what she did

21 hours ago

Ohio Republican claims mass shooting possible with bow & arrow

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Florida abortion providers ask court to overturn state’s abortion restrictions based on state constitution

22 hours ago

Supermarket employee arrested for assaulting Rudy

24 hours ago

Real salt of the earth hillbilly fella knows what’s best for women

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Manhattan woman says Ivanka got abortion in high school

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Nazi’s campaign says she ad-libbed Nazi thing she said at rally

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Large majority of women disapprove of Roe v Wade overturn: poll

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FBI, House Committee seek footage from a different documentary film crew that was following Roger Stone after 2020 election

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Twenty dead of mysterious cause at South African nightclub

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Former Guy approved of Kevin McCarthy’s decision to boycott House January 6th Select Committee last July: report

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Fox’s subliminal message accidentally goes liminal on air

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Illinois Republican says overturning Roe “victory for white life”

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Rhode Island Republican candidate charged with physically attacking female Democratic opponent

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WATCH LIVE: Orange Messiah commands his thrall

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Reported ex-call girl from Colorado gives a literal shout out

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Stupid cracker offended by intra-racial slurring

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The story of National Zeromas

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Biden signs bipartisan gun safety bill

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Rural Nevada county certifies June 14 primary election after protracted hand count – two hours before state canvass deadline

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QAnon returns

3 days ago

Random thoughts Friday, Volume LXXV

3 days ago

Pro-choice marches erupt around the United States

3 days ago

Doug Ducey probably reported this tweet

3 days ago

Even that Barstool scumbag turning on Republicans now

3 days ago

Matty Schlapp completely reading the room wrong

3 days ago

Afghan held at Gitmo for 15 years released by court

3 days ago

DC Circuit Court of Appeals court stays FDA ban on Juul

3 days ago

Fox News guy snaps at Dem panelist for asking if Republican state legislatures are going to support women now forced to give birth

3 days ago

Raskin schools Marge on people with weapons at insurrection

3 days ago

FBI arrests yet another Oath Keepers leader

3 days ago

Former Guy wary of Roe v Wade overturn

3 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Biden reacts to Supreme Court ruling

3 days ago

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