Categories
Uncategorized

Foreigners with deadly illness invading Florida as DeSantis tries to shoehorn state policy to non-existant foreign border

Even as Republican Governor Ron DeSantis tries to twist his policy to include a fictitious border crisis when his state only borders Georgia and Alabama, the state is suffering from an invasion of foreigners spreading potentially deadly meningitis, MSN reports.

In a transparent attempt to bolster his conservative bona fides by bashing immigrants before the 2024 primaries, DeSantis has convened a grand jury to investigate what he calls “immigration-related issues” like child sex trafficking; shockingly, he has not called Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz in as an expert witness.  As mentioned, Florida does not border any foreign countries, so the real issue is the interstate transport of forced sex workers from other states, which tend to congregate in Florida when major conventions and events like the Super Bowl are in town, something some tourists link to Florida vacations and culture.

But Florida’s real immigration problem is more deadly and more imminent:  thousands of invasive Giant African land snails have been found in Pasco County.  Unlike with the coronavirus pandemic, the Florida Department of Agriculture has set up a quarantine zone around Pasco County and launched an eradication program.

The Giant African land snails, which can grow to be seven inches long, can devastate crops if left unchecked.  The Giant African land snail is also a carrier of the meningitis virus, which causes swelling of the lining around the brain and nervous system in humans which can result in death.

Unlike a number of other invasive land and sea mollusks which were introduced into the United States carried aboard cargo ships or in the ballast tanks of ships, the Giant African land snail is typically smuggled into the US by people who wish to keep the large snail as a pet.  After the novelty wears off, the humans then release the snails into the wild, where they breed and take over.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Antichrist crucified

14 minutes ago

“Democrats like high gas prices because of their radical climate agenda”: MAGA Wyoming Senator John Barrasso’s bold take

54 minutes ago

Naval warfare mastermind warns opponent to avoid B9, F7, and A5

1 hour ago

House Oversight removes Bondi deposition from schedule

2 hours ago

Judge tosses Trump case against Murdoch, WSJ over Epstein letter

2 hours ago

Fox News reports rogue priest defiant against faith’s true prophet

3 hours ago

ICE internments dropped 12 percent since January

3 hours ago

Philippines president answers health questions with jumping jacks

4 hours ago

Orange Jesus’s fanboys annoyed he got so literal with it

5 hours ago

Why Orban’s defeat was actually bad for Democrats: Politico

5 hours ago

Leo wouldn’t be Pope without me: Trump

14 hours ago

George Santos not satisfied by Swalwell quitting guberbatorial bid

15 hours ago

CENTCOM says blockade operation a go

19 hours ago

Hungary liberated from Viktor Orban’s regime

21 hours ago

RonAnon “not surprised” Jaydee failed: Sunday AM Live Coverage

1 day ago

Orange Fuhrer redeclares war on Iran

1 day ago

Screw you guys, I’m going home: Jaydee to Iranians

1 day ago

New York Times headline seems likely to cause a nasty rash

1 day ago

Judge Box-o-Wine off attorney general shortlist due to failures

1 day ago

Jaydee announces mission unaccomplished

2 days ago

The Promised Land

2 days ago

Miserable senior citizen watches too much TV, complains about it

2 days ago

Irish gas stations run dry amid protests over prices

2 days ago

Artemis II crew splashes down safely

3 days ago

Eric Swalwell needs to resign from Congress right fucking now

3 days ago

Orange Shitbag pledges to help Hungarians before Americans

3 days ago

BREAKING: Trump regime admits they lied

3 days ago

Raskin asks White House doc to conduct thorough mental eval

3 days ago

Fox News reports lib terrorist targeted pro-Trump patriot

3 days ago

Kamala Harris says she’s “thinking about” a 2028 run

3 days ago

Trump continues to whine about the consequences of his fuckup

3 days ago

Houston gentlemen’s club patron felled in dispute with rogues

3 days ago

Pete Buttigieg nearly causes MAGA CNBC host to stroke out

3 days ago

President promotes evil corporation run by eccentric supervillains

3 days ago

Consumer sentiment index sinks to lowest level ever

3 days ago

New York Times called out for its terrible polling numbers

3 days ago

Russian defense official gets 19 years for unsanctioned graft

3 days ago

MAGAflation skyrockets to 3.3 percent in March

3 days ago

Top Melania aide says Third Lady focused media on her Epstein ties because media isn’t focused on her performative “achievements”

3 days ago

Massie leads generic MAGA douche primary challenger: poll

3 days ago

Texas Lt Gov Dannie Goeb worried state House could flip to Dems

3 days ago

Fox Business reports bribery refusal investigation underway

3 days ago

Orange Karen complains about quality of Iranian oil transit service

4 days ago

Donald denies knowing what prompted Melania’s Epstein denial

4 days ago

You can find avant garde art in anything, really

4 days ago

BREAKING: New York City schools still closed for Spring break

4 days ago

When Marjorie Taylor Greene says you’re a mentally ill sociopath…

4 days ago

White House accepts $37 million in proudly non-American-made steel for ballroom to host majestic, blue-collar-excluding galas

4 days ago

This is why Karoline earns your big bucks

4 days ago

Netanyahu’s corruption trial resumes

4 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x