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Fox News reports bitter middle-aged man marries old ex-girlfriend

A deeply bitter middle-aged white man with a drinking problem married his long-estranged ex-girlfriend on an impulse in Las Vegas last weekend, Fox News reports on a story that no doubt resonates with a large section of their audience. It seems likely the man, whose previous marriage to a non-Hispanic white woman fell apart due to his gambling and boozing, and seen his once-vibrant career as an alpha settle into a pattern of dull mediocrity, and drifted back to the foul-tempered Bronx-born Latina out of some unspoken yearning to recapture the promises the future once held for him. As if she could somehow Make Affleck Great Again on her own.

It’s this kind of wish-fulfillment, with all the moral complexity of a Michael Bay script, that speaks to everyday Fox News fans experiencing similar difficulties and the dull, aching residue of decades-old disappointments in their own mid-lives. After all, celebrities are people, just like you.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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