The story about the Federal Reserve Bank – which doesn’t have drive-thru ATMs or offer personal checks with Looney Tunes or Columbus Blue Jackets-themed backgrounds to depositors like a normal bank – raising its interest rate isn’t that interesting. All the other news websites are like “OMG! ThE fEd RaIsEd tEh iNteRest rAtE!” and sure, the story is impactful because it’s the Fed “pumping the brakes” on inflation and so on and so forth. The lede is just two sentences long because that’s all it takes to report the news about the interest rate being raised.
Then the rest is quotes from some asshole at Goldman Sachs reacting to the news, saying “Well we see the PFUX index in the next quarter really ejaculating some growth into the TARGOLOX ratio of the WOOFWOOF sector’s curve” while he’s thinking about buying extra party drugs this week because his bro at the Fed told him to offload his BAAL fund holdings before Jerome Powell – no relation to Sidney “Kraken” Powell – officially announced they were raising the rate 0.75 percent.
All of this is increasing our disinterest rates in stories about the Federal Reserve Bank. The fun just isn’t there in reporting on Wall Street shit when there are lots of more interesting stories out there about ketchup being thrown at walls and angry monkeys terrorizing Japanese people.