Ghoulish Florida Senator Rick Scott, a man who sort of earned his vast fortune and we guess is entitled to spend it enjoying nice things is, according to a report in Axios, currently doing just that and is in Italy fishing or hiking or gruesomely murdering backpackers in an underground dungeon like in those Hostel movies or whatever. The Senate’s on break for another 10 days or so, and we understand that he’d want a change of scenery, far away from his demented constituents.

We’re relaxed about this because we’re not Republicans. If we were, we would be apocalyptically pissed beyond belief that the skipper is taking shore leave in the middle of a pitched battle where we could lose as many as four seats to the fucking Democrats, guaranteeing a continued pipeline of judicial confirmations to federal courts outpacing Trump’s at the end of four years, and praying that the House flips because then we would be REALLY fucked in a lot of new and interesting ways if Nancy Pelosi is still the House Speaker with Mandela Barnes and John Fetterman as Senators while Beijing Blake, Russian Roulette guy, Doc Oz, and RonAnon shop around for private sector jobs.

Only God knows if it was really truly Jessica Simpson’s fault that Tony Romo threw that end zone pick to RW McQuarters with 0:09 left on the clock in the 4th, but Cowboys fans sure as shit blamed her for taking him to Cabo San Lucas during the bye week when he should’ve been studying the fucking Giants’ defense – even after beating them twice in the regular season. Rick Scott doesn’t have Jessica Simpson though. This is on him. In the very likely event that he, as Senate Republican campaign quarterback, fails to outscore the Dems, he should be able to tell fans he did everything he could and not have someone ask “then why the fuck did you go to Italy in August?”