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Federal judge tosses Trump v Hillary Russia investigation lawsuit

A Florida federal judge on Friday dismissed disgraced former President Trump’s batshit insane lawsuit against Hillary Clinton and literally dozens of others over the 2016 election and the Russia investigation. The case had been on life support following the dismissal of the counts against former FBI employees James Comey, Andrew McCabe, Lisa Page, and Peter Strzok in July.

In his ruling, Southern Florida US District Court Judge Donald M Middlebrooks wrote that Trump’s “theory of this case, set forth over 527 paragraphs in the first 118 pages of the Amended Complaint, is difficult to summarize in a concise and cohesive manner. It was certainly not presented that way… Defendants now move to dismiss the Amended Complaint as ‘a series of disconnected political disputes that Plaintiff has alchemized into a sweeping conspiracy among the many individuals Plaintiff believes to have aggrieved him.’ They argue that dismissal is warranted because Plaintiff’s claims are both ‘hopelessly stale’ – that is, foreclosed by the applicable statutes of limitations – and because they fail on the merits ‘in multiple independent respects.’ As they view it, ‘[w]hatever the utilities of [the Amended Complaint] as a fundraising tool, a press release, or a list of political grievances, it has no merit as a lawsuit.’ I agree,” and goddamn this is hilarious.

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