“Yellowstone National Park announced today that the human foot found in Abyss Pool, located in the West Thumb Geyser Basin, belonged to Il Hun Ro, a 70-year-old male from Los Angeles, California. Yellowstone law enforcement officers received the positive identification based on DNA analysis in the last three weeks and notified the family,” said Yellowstone officials in a Thursday statement.

“In August 2022, staff discovered part of a foot in a shoe floating in the well-known thermal feature and an investigation led by Yellowstone law enforcement officers began. The investigation determined, to the best of our knowledge, that an unwitnessed incident involving one individual happened on the morning of July 31, 2022, at Abyss Pool, and no foul play occurred. Based on a lack of evidence, the circumstances surrounding the death of Ro remain unknown. This investigation has concluded, and the park has no additional information to share,” the statement concluded.

Well that sure sounds buttoned up. There’s no witnesses or evidence, they have no idea what the fuck happened to this guy, they only found part of his foot in a pool of boiling volcanically heated water and only figured out his identity through DNA analysis. Case closed bros… In all seriousness it’s probable, maybe even likely that the poor bastard fell in to the hot acidic water and suffered a horrific, if at least mercifully quick death being dissolved alive. It’s happened before to people there. They might just want to try to explain that gently as possible instead of this self-contradictory “we conclude there was no foul play based on no evidence or witnesses” mess that seems destined for a future edition of a law enforcement textbook as an example of how not to write public statements.