Hands off our gas stoves. Just leave us alone.

— Nicole Malliotakis (@NMalliotakis) January 13, 2023

Here’s MAGA Staten Island Congresswoman Nicole Malliotakis riding the latest batshittery about gas stoves. Apparently some government bureaucrat said it might be time to consider a ban as the fossil fuel-heated ranges pose a health hazard (a health hazard beyond the obvious “sometimes they explode and kill people”) and all hell broke loose among the Fox News-brained assholes of America.

It’s an eerie echo of early 2021, back when the 2020 election’s dust had (relatively) cleared, the Biden Administration was getting settled in, and the MAGAverse needed new made-up outrages to fill time and space previously occupied by “evidence” that the presidency had been stolen from Trump. So they went on this utterly insane panic binge: Mr Potato Head becoming “genderless,” some old Dr Seuss books most people had never heard of being “canceled,” Disney+ adding a content warning to late-1970s “Muppet Show” episodes, critical race theory, and of course the closest analogue to this new “gas stoves” bullshit, the “Biden Burger Ban.”

There’s a distinct contrast with early 2022: Back then they were hyping outrages with potential electoral implications such as crime and inflation. The lead up to Russia’s attack on Ukraine and the earliest stages of the war itself certainly dominated a lot of coverage too (not that they didn’t make up disgraceful fake outrages associated with the war also). But by and large the rubber was meeting the road with the lead up to the midterms. Right wing news coverage was meant to keep their fan base geared toward voting against Democrats. Now we’re in another odd-numbered year it looks like it’s going to be “cancel culture” again, with a shit ton of stupid “controversies” with no real purpose other than to keep the fanboys in a state of perpetual anger and paranoia.