And now, an amuse-buffoon to clear your intellectual palate and prepare you for RtF later tonight.  Donald Trump–sexual assaulter, middling real estate developer,  John (in the prostitution sense, not his middle name), failed coup leader, and really bad filer–is running for President as a ploy to stave off indictment and to give him more grounds to file more lawsuits to try to get more delays, and he has to do at least something that looks like a campaign even though he’s only left Mar-a-Lago to attend a funeral during which he complained about how long people were mourning the deceased.

So he’s released this education policy, which has really very little to do with education and everything to do with hitting talking points and enraging his cult.  In order of ridiculousness as judged by a member of the National Zero editorial staff, because we listen so you don’t have to:

• Top line item:  Trump wants to certify teachers who will indoctrinate children into his cult.  Not kidding:  “We will create a new credentialing body that will be the gold standard–anywhere in the world–to certify teachers who embrace patriotic values, support our way of life and understand that their job is not to indoctrinate children.”  Wait… wha–?  That last part doesn’t match the first.
• In a hysterically absurd move, Trump will unilaterally label Marxism a religion and says he will use the Establishment Clause of the Constitution preventing the government’s endorsement of a religion to basically dismantle unions, ’cause THAT’S completely constitutional.
• Doing his best Old School Psychopathic Republican McCarthy, not the new failing reboot, Trump declares he will rid the federal Department of Education of all “radicals, zealots and Marxists.”  … ’cause lordy knows you don’t want people zealous about education running the Department of Education.
• He also wants to have the public election of school principals by the parents, not the taxpayers, because the loud mouth complaining at the school board meeting about kitty litter in classrooms is just as qualified as the Ph.D.-holding 20-year administrator who worked as a special ed teacher for half her career and is capable of handling a staff of hundred and the legal implications of his decisions.
• He’ll cut funding to any school teaching Critical Race Theory, which is only taught in law schools, but the lawsuits brought by irate parents who think they know CRT is being taught in their second grader’s math class will bankrupt school districts.
• In a violation of civil service laws, Trump demands Congress “reaffirm the President’s right” [Trump’s words; the President has no such power] to fire any “defiant” federal employee or he won’t sign any appropriations bill.
• Trump will ban any racial, sexual or political content from being taught in school, which ends history, civics, biology, health/hygiene, and most literature.  There’s always math, which famously has a liberal bias.
• At Trump’s command, the Department of Justice will investigate any racial bias, particularly against Asian-Americans (and white people, of course).
• Some oldies but goodies:  “Keep men out of women’s sports.”  Eliminate tenure.  Cut the number of school administrators, something the federal government cannot dictate because local communities run school districts; Trump wants to eliminate “divisive and unnecessary diversity, equity and inclusion” programs.