No, he didn’t shoot another guy (that we know of). The man then-Vice President and eternal Lord of the Underworld Dick Cheney shot in the face while quail hunting in Texas in 2006, Harry Whittington, has died Saturday at the age of 95, Politico reports. According to unconfirmed reports by this reporter, he supposedly apologized for any inconvenience his death may cause the former Veep.
While at a recreational killing site in Texas, Whittington jumped unexpectedly in front of Cheney’s shotgun barrel as Cheney fired at fleeing birds, peppering Whittington with birdshot in his face, arms and chest. Or so the official story was. We’re really never going to know exactly what happened because the local Texas lawmen weren’t allowed to interview Cheney for more than 24 hours after the shooting was reported, perhaps because the cantankerous warmonger had to sober up.
For his trouble and large amounts of donations, Whittington received a lifetime of scars… and a heart attack a few days after the shooting as a pellet migrated through his chest. After all that, Whittington apologized to Cheney. (Yeah, you read that right: the buckshot recipient apologized to the buckshooter.) “My family and I are deeply sorry for all that Vice President Cheney and his family have had to go through this week.”