Cops in The Villages, Florida on Sunday arrested registered Republican Jacob Donald Giaccio on a charge of battery following an altercation with his ex-wife, who he still lives with for some fucking reason, in which Giaccio tried and failed to make it look like the ex was the aggressor by smashing himself on the head with a plate after she dialed 911, Villages-News.com reports.
But wait, there’s more (!) “family values party” voting Villager domestic disturbance news. Villages-News.com also reports 70 year-old registered Republican Gretchen Mitchell was arrested not once, but twice last weekend. The first came after police responded Friday night to a report of Mitchell smacking her male companion and whipping him with an electric cord. She bailed herself out of the clink at 1:00 PM on Saturday – her 70th birthday – and then arrested again approximately 20 minutes later when the victim called police. Mitchell was released from jail for the second time on Tuesday.