Can the fanboys even remember why they want so badly for the COVID-19 virus to have escaped from a lab in Wuhan, China, rather than from an animal in a “wet market” in the same city? We can understand why they might feel “vindicated” by recent conclusions from the FBI and the Department of Energy that they believe – albeit with “low confidence” – that the virus came from a lab, even though they reflexively mistrust the government, especially the FBI, on pretty much everything else.

And why not? Once you get past all their Fauci-“gain of function”-Soros something horseshit about the Wuhan lab, at the core it’s a remarkably (for them) simple application of logical reasoning: It’s probably not a coincidence that a global pandemic originated in a city with an infectious disease laboratory. What the hell else are people supposed to think after learning about the lab?

It’s like if the air smells like Twizzlers but certain people are trying to say it’s not the Twizzler factory three blocks away but the packs of Twizzlers in the candy aisle at the 7-Eleven five blocks away. You better have some damn good evidence the smell is coming from the 7-Eleven if you want to sell the story NPR is trying to sell in their not-actually-about-Twizzlers piece from February 28th.

“Virologists who study pandemic origins are much less divided than the U.S. intelligence community. They say there is ‘very convincing’ data and ‘overwhelming evidence’ pointing to an animal origin,” the piece proclaims, extensively detailing the research by the experts, with the not-really-a-caveat that the virologists don’t “provide the smoking gun – that is, an animal infected with the SARS-CoV-2 coronavirus at a market. But they come close. They provide photographic evidence of wild animals such as raccoon dogs and a red fox, which can be infected with and shed SARS-CoV-2, sitting in cages in the market in late 2019. What’s more, the caged animals are shown in or near a stall where scientists found SARS-CoV-2 virus on a number of surfaces.”

We’re not virologists and we’re not going to say we know more than them. Full stop. No buts, howevers, that saids, thoughs, or any of that other shit to continue that sentence.

The issue here is either with NPR or both the scientists and NPR. The report says nothing about the reliability of the data coming from China, a country ruled by an authoritarian communist regime that censored fucking Winnie the Pooh because their tyrannical dictator got offended by a joke.

Which is to say that either the reporter neglected to mention any specific reason provided by the scientists why we should credit data that may have been sourced from the ChiCom regime or that she didn’t ask them why they credited data that may have been sourced from the ChiCom regime.

This is the kind of shit that gets people pilled, writing “Together the data are telling a strong story” like this happened in a political vacuum and the ChiCom regime doesn’t have a whole lot riding on the rest of the world buying that this was an act of God and that they didn’t fuck up with lax safety practices at a laboratory. That’s the word that comes to mind when thinking about where this situation would be created for the right wing media: NPR, a byword for snobby libtard elitism even more so than kale and Subaru, declaring the burden of proof has been met by the ChiComs.

We’re not saying this piece was done in bad faith. It does actually make a pretty strong case for the “wet market” origin IF the underlying data is to be credited. It’s also almost too polished and stinks of the Ivory Tower when it needed to be rolled around in the filth of political reality.

The other guys are having the opposite problem these days. This Fox News story could’ve been created in National Zero’s lab, if only for the utter lack of shame and irony with which they throw a brick at CNN from their glass house amid the ongoing shitshow with the Dominion lawsuit revelations. A “CNN insider” told them that then-CNN president Jeff Zucker told staff to ignore the lab leak theory because it was a “Trump talking point,” that they didn’t want to entertain in coverage.

Now maybe Zucker said that maybe he didn’t. Fox News does provide plenty of examples of CNN coverage in 2020 dismissive of the lab leak theory, and anyone familiar with the context of the moment knows that the mainstream media were overall pretty disinclined to give it any airtime.

Can you really blame them? This was in April 2020, two months into an absolute shitshow of a pandemic, killing thousands of Americans every day. The video above was just hours after the US intel community had assessed that they had no evidence one way or another that the virus had escaped from a lab (they did conclude that it had not been engineered as a biological weapon).

Here’s your answer to the question posed in the opening of this piece: Trump and his fanboys wanted it to have been a lab accident rather than a natural transmission from an infected animal to a human in a filthy wet market because for some fucking stupid reason they thought that meant he would take less blame for his abysmal handling of the pandemic. To explain it further than that is above our pay grade. We don’t know why they thought that it would work on people outside their bubble (it didn’t) or why it was supposed to be able to unring bells like this one:

China has been working very hard to contain the Coronavirus. The United States greatly appreciates their efforts and transparency. It will all work out well. In particular, on behalf of the American People, I want to thank President Xi!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 24, 2020

There are some of us who said “Who gives a fuck where in Wuhan the virus came from, it very well could have came from a lab, but that doesn’t matter right now when our economy is collapsing and hospitals are overfilled with dying people. Hopefully we’ll have time and bandwidth to look into it when we have a vaccine and live our lives like we used to before Trump failed to protect us.”

And that’s where we’re at right now. The ChiCom regime fucked up whether the virus came from a lab or a “wet market.” They were incompetent and irresponsible either way. Fuck them for what they did. If conclusive evidence that they let the virus escape from a lab ever surfaces then they should be prepared to face the wrath of the entire rest of the world. No joke. Like a global alliance of all nations invading and dismantling the Xi regime with the president of Taiwan installed as the leader of a united democratic Republic of China just to rub it in.

And fuck Trump for not having the balls to make the hard calls early on which could have drastically reduced the number of deaths and infections in the United States whether it came from a lab or not. It did not matter then and it does not matter now where it came from as far as Trump is concerned. We don’t need to know where it came from to know that he failed.

And nevertheless his fanboys are simply still too scared to confront that truth.