In a development confirming the biases of conservative American Christians who believe Mexican drug cartels are Satan’s earthly emissaries, Mexican cops on Thursday found an altar to the Prince of Darkness in an underground tunnel dug by soldiers of an unspecified cartel, the AP reports.
The tunnel’s primary function was to siphon fuel from a government-owned pipeline running across the central state of Hidalgo, a side business for the cartel, who were also storing drugs in there alongside their shrines to Satan and “Santa Muerte,” both of which the cartel goons had left offerings of food and candles to their spirits. At least 10 were arrested at the site, which had been storing approximately 10,000 gallons of stolen fuel – all under the loving protection of Satan, who we guess used his magic to prevent the candles from lighting the fuel and immolating his sinners.