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“When am I going to be fully exonerated, I’m at least as innocent”

Fat former President Trump on Friday reacted to the news that his former near-lynching victim Mike Pence was cleared by Justice Department prosecutors for accidentally taking a small number of classified documents from his time as Vice President. The timing on Pence’s justified and expected reprieve is just downright superb as his orange former boss likely faces indictment any day now on his brazen and knowing theft of top secret intel files from the White House and subsequent defiance of a lawful subpoena for their return. Trump’s plaintive “What about me?” is simply perfect as is the contradictory assertion that one former Vice President’s case is a “hoax” while the other former Vice President’s is “1850 boxes” in “Chinatown.” The only difference between Biden and Pence is that Biden was stuck with an ongoing special counsel investigation in an overcorrect “fairness” move, which is probably why it’s taking longer to come to the same conclusion as Pence.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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