“Since deranged Jack Smith took the unprecedented step of weaponizing the justice system to attack his political opponent, Donald J Trump for President 2024 has raised more than $6.6 million in just a few short days. In a clear sign of the steadfast support President Donald J Trump enjoys from grassroots Patriots across the nation, over $4.5 million has been raised from digital fundraising, with an additional $2.1 million raised at President Trump’s event at Bedminster last night,” says an unholy statement written by an acolyte of the corpulent Orange Prince of Darkness.
EDITOR’S NOTE: National Zero rounded up the $6.6 million in the original text of the statement to $6.66 million to make it sound more Satan-y in the headline. Still likely technically accurate.