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Don Jr says there’s no way that bag of cocaine in the West Wing was his because he hasn’t been to the White House in three years

“I figured I’d give this a shot seeing as quite a few people on Twitter are trying to blame me for the cocaine in the White House? !? LOL, I mean I haven’t been there in almost 3 years and there’s someone with a serious problem that was apparently their but anyway. Heavily guarded, but no one knows anything I’m shocked!!! 🥳” wrote Donald Trump Jr in his first and so far only Threads post on Thursday. We would’ve embedded it but they’re being a little temperamental right now.

There’s also the possibility he might end up deleting it if he realizes that he didn’t write “LOL, I don’t do cocaine! I tried it once when I was like 25 but I thought it sucked!” instead of saying the only reason it couldn’t have been his is because he hasn’t been to the White House in three years.

In very much related news, Threads is (or at least was earlier on Thursday, we did not see this prompt come up ourselves) warning users to think twice before following MAGA influencers like Don Jr and notorious meathead fascist “DC_Draino” due to their histories for propagating right wing misinformation. The hilarity of a Zuckerberg production suddenly taking social media misinformation seriously aside, this raises an interesting question: Were these warnings generated algorithmically based on the garbage they and other scumbags had already posted on sister platforms Facebook and Instagram, or did the Threads team manually flag them solely on reputation as they joined? Jim Jordan is no doubt already punching holes in the wall over this while his wife downs a bottle of vodka in the backyard, so we might get something approximating an answer to that question at some point after he fires off dozens of subpoenas to Zuckerberg and his minions.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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