Right wing Michigan oligarch Perry Johnson, who was among the five 2022 Great Lake State GOP gubernatorial hopefuls who found themselves disqualified from the race just prior to primary election day over a ballot access petition forgery scam, came in second in a 2024 Republican presidential primary straw poll of attendees at this weekend’s Turning Point Action Conference, pulling in 7.8 percent support – far behind disgraced former President Trump’s 85.7 percent but ahead of robotic neuroatypical Florida Governor Ron DeSantis’s 4.3 percent, the Washington Examiner reports.

Yes, it was conducted by Trafalgar, a right wing pollster notorious for literally making shit up to drive a MAGA narrative. Yes, it was just an unscientific straw poll of a crowd heavily biased by Trump and Johnson’s presence coupled with DeSantis’s absence (at an event in his home state). Yes, it was probably taken right after Johnson spoke to the crowd, skewing it even more. It’s still funny as hell.

In related news, Michigan oligarch Perry Johnson, who was among the five 2022 Great Lake State Republican gubernatorial hopefuls who found themselves disqualified from the race just prior to primary election day over a ballot access petition forgery scam, is running for president.

Johnson, who sank $7.5 million of his own money into the 2022 gubernatorial bid only to be felled by a crew of two bit hustlers who charged $13 for each signature whether they legitimately collected or forged it, is campaigning on a theme of fiscal responsibility and smart management, pledging to “put the bloated federal government on a diet,” according to his website. The site’s merch shop prominently features an “I identify as Non-Bidenary” sticker, a joke ripped off from high school dropout Lauren Boebert. She might’ve stolen it from someone else too though, to be fair.